Be Brave (10 page)

ragged blanket pressed against his face.

“Angel,” Kael whispered, afraid to speak out loud in case he startled him.

Angel looked up, and even in the darkness, Kael could see the sadness in his boy"s

face. Kael took off his dressing gown and hurried toward him, wrapping it around

Angel"s shoulders and pulling him close. “Sweetheart, you"re freezing. What"s

wrong?”

“My mom,” Angel said very quietly. “I thought she was going to meet us on her

own and go somewhere so we could all talk and spend some time together, and all

Angel and the Assassin: Be Brave

41

she gave me was a couple of minutes on her way to the freakin" opera.” He took a

deep breath and continued. “I haven"t seen her in six months. I wanted to tell her

about college and about Christmas and your mom and how fun it all was. I wanted

her to ask us to go to her home.” He paused and looked into Kael"s eyes. “She didn"t

even invite us to her wedding.”

It was on the tip of Kael"s tongue to say,
She’s a bitch and she doesn’t deserve

your love
. But calling Angel"s mother names wouldn"t help the boy feel better, so he

said, “I know, sweetheart. I know.” He kissed the top of Angel"s head over and over,

rubbing his shoulders. “Why didn"t you tell me how upset you were? Why didn"t you

wake me? You should have come to Daddy instead of sitting in here by yourself in

the dark.”

“Daddy, you always tell me to be brave.”

“You
are
brave.” Kael cupped Angel"s face in both hands. “You"re so strong

under the whip. Not to mention how you shot those men in Bosnia, using a gun for

the first time. You"re such a brave boy.”

“I just didn"t want to be an emo and make you ashamed of me.”

“What"s an emo?” Kael asked.

“A wimp, a pussy.” He smiled.

Kael ruffled Angel"s hair, running his fingers through the silky softness. “The

last thing you are is a wimp.”

“Daddy, why can"t my mom be like yours? She wouldn"t have put you in foster

homes, would she?”

His mum would have prostituted herself rather than give him up. As it was,

she had slaved at cleaning jobs all his childhood. “No, she wouldn"t. And if she were

your mum, she wouldn"t have given you up either. There"s nothing wrong with you,

sweetheart. It"s your mother who"s got the problem. She needs a man to look after

her and give her things to make her happy. But you"re a great kid. Look how you

turned out with no help from anyone. You"re clever and kind. You"re a good boy. Did

I tell you I"m proud of you?”

“You tell me that all the time, Daddy.” Angel looked down, scrunching his

blanket in his hands. “I know she"s not to be trusted, so why was I so stupid that I

thought I could trust her today?”

“It"s hard to give up on people you love, or people you want to love you,” Kael

said.

Very quietly, Angel said, “We were living in a trailer when I was five, and

winter was coming on. I think my mom was panicking because it was going to get

really cold and she was working as a stripper and she wasn"t getting much money.

Then one day I was playing on the floor with some plastic farm animals. Funny how

you remember stuff like that, isn"t it, Daddy?” Kael nodded and hugged him closer.

“A lady and a man came in and started talking to my mom. She told me to say hi to

them, so I did. Then she said they were taking me for a car ride, and I liked going

42

Fyn Alexander

places and my mom told me it was okay to go with them, so I did. They took me to a

foster home that day.”

“Did she tell you they were taking you away?” Kael asked.

“No. I had no idea where I was going. I thought it was just a ride and then

they"d take me home again. That foster home had a teenager there, and I think he

was the foster parents" real son. He was a mean fucker. He told me he"d throw me

out the window if I cried at night, so I never dared. Then a few days later, the CPS

lady picked me up and took me to this place and sat in a room with me. I didn"t

know at the time, but it was a supervised visit room at the CPS building. Then my

mom came in and we hugged and she played with me. Then after a while, she said

she had to go. So I put my coat on and got my blanket because I thought I was going

with her, but she said good-bye and opened the door. I tried to go out with her, but

the CPS worker said I had to stay with her. I went nuts and screamed and cried.

Then after that, she took me back to the foster home again. I was so stupid. I

thought when I saw my mom that she"d come to take me home. I thought she"d come

to save me. When she walked out that door and left me there screaming, I never

trusted her ever again. I never trusted anyone after that till I met you, Daddy. She

didn"t come to visit me again for over a year.”

Kael held him close, rocking him, and Angel gave a little laugh. He always did

that when he was trying to be brave. Trying to make himself feel better. “But I

survived and here I am. Daddy, can we make some hot chocolate before we go back

to bed?”

Kael kissed the top of Angel"s head, inhaling the sweet scent of his lovely blond

hair. “Of course we can. Come on, boy.” In the kitchen, he ordered Angel to sit on

the stool at the counter, still wearing Kael"s dressing gown, while Kael made hot

chocolate in the nude and marveled at his beautiful boy and what his life had

become. Never in a million years would he have imagined himself making hot

chocolate in the middle of the night to comfort a boy he was so in love with. When it

was ready, Kael sat on another stool and watched Angel sip the foaming, sweet

drink.

“Aren"t you having any, Daddy?”

Kael shook his head. “I"m not a big hot chocolate fan. Do you feel better?”

Angel smiled. He looked exhausted. “Yes, Sir. But what the hell was she

thinking giving me a Rolex watch? I bet he bought it. I would have much preferred

an Xbox.”

“Would you?” Kael chuckled. “You know my rules on games.”

“I certainly do. We have better things to do than waste our time on mindless

crap. School comes first, fitness comes next. You have to be disciplined to be a good

slave.” Angel repeated almost verbatim what Kael had told him when he had asked

for a game console.

“I see you have been listening to me.” Kael pulled the dressing gown closer

about Angel"s shoulders.

Angel and the Assassin: Be Brave

43

“I always listen to you, Daddy. You know, I thought my mom would be

impressed that I"m in school, but she didn"t give a damn. She doesn"t think learning

is important.”

“Daddy thinks it"s important,” Kael said.

Angel sipped his drink and looked into Kael"s eyes. “That"s all I care about,

what you think, Daddy. I always wanted my mom to think I"m important, but after

tonight I"m not sure I care anymore. Who needs a mom when you"ve got the best

daddy in the world?”

Kael swallowed. Whenever Angel said something like that, he always felt his

eyes prick with tears. But he never cried. “Come on. It must be three in the

morning. You"ve got school in a few hours. Let"s go back to bed.” Angel finished his

hot chocolate, and Kael took his hand and led him back to the bedroom.

“Can I brush my teeth in the morning?” Angel asked. “I"m so tired.”

“Do them now,” Kael ordered. He got into bed and waited. Wearily Angel

wandered to the bathroom and returned shortly. He lay down, and Kael pulled the

duvet up over Angel"s shoulders, holding him close to get warm again. Angel still

held his blankie in his hands, and Kael could feel its softness against his skin.

Briskly he rubbed his hands up and down Angel"s back.

“You know what, Daddy?”

“What?”

“I think my mom will invite us to France to stay with her and Gregoire, maybe

around my birthday. She"ll be thinking of something to make up for last year. What

do you think?”

The hope in Angel"s voice nearly broke Kael"s heart. “Yes, of course she will,

but let"s wait and see. It"s not till September. Go to sleep, boy. I wish I could make

your mum perfect, but I can"t.”

“I know, Daddy. I don"t need her to be perfect. I"ve got you now. You"re perfect.

The perfect daddy. Don"t ever leave me.”

Kael felt the immense weight of responsibility to be the perfect daddy for his

boy. “I"ll never do that, sweetheart.”

44

Fyn Alexander

Chapter Five

In the middle of the morning, Kael"s mobile buzzed. He snatched it off his belt

and checked the caller ID. “What do you want, Conran? I"m at the gym.”

“Meet me by the lake in St. James Park in thirty minutes. The path on the

Mall side.”

“No, I"m busy.” He almost ended the call but changed his mind. “I"ll be in this

afternoon to teach my class. Talk to me then.”

“Thirty minutes. By the lake,” Conran insisted.

Kael hung up. He had already worked out until he was sweating hard in the

weight room and was about to run twenty or thirty laps on the indoor track.

Deliberating for a minute, he watched a handsome man in his forties working his

thighs on the leg extension machine. The man glanced over at him, obviously

appreciative of Kael"s well-developed muscles and perfect proportions. The bloke

was just the type Kael would happily have fucked in the showers later. But that

was before Angel. “Where"s your little blond boy today?” the man asked.

“At college.”

Coming to a decision, Kael walked to the showers, stripped off his shorts, and

stood for five minutes under the steaming hot water, scrubbing himself vigorously

with shower gel before dressing quickly. He was at the lake before Conran arrived,

leaning against a weeping willow, using it for cover so that he could watch the other

man approach. In his suit and overcoat, hands pushed into his pockets for warmth,

Conran walked along the path. When he stopped to look at the swans, it appeared

very natural.

Conran would never make an operative—he was too scared—but he knew his

part. When Kael appeared at his side, Conran walked on beside him, lengthening

his stride to keep up with Kael.

“I knew you"d come,” Conran said.

“Are you looking for a smack?” Kael was instantly annoyed. “Come to think of

it, is that what this is about? You want to come to my dungeon and let me flog your

arse?”

Glancing quickly about, Conran whispered, “Shut up for God"s sake.” He

handed Kael a mobile phone.

“A present?” Kael grinned and took the phone. He knew at once what it was.

Angel and the Assassin: Be Brave

45

“A secure line. I assume you threw your other phone out. The line was

disconnected anyway.”

“I don"t need a secure line.” But he held on to the phone. “I"m not an operative

anymore.”

“Saunders, you are bored stiff all day. Even teaching your afternoon classes

does nothing special for you, though I admit you are very good at those. I"ll bet you

spend your time waiting for the moment you can be with your young man.”

“Is that what you bet, Stephen?” It was true. The highlight of his day was

coming home to Angel and spending the evening with him. He looked forward to

their weekends. Spending time at the gym together. Going for long runs or taking

him to the shooting range to teach him how to use different weapons. The rest of his

time was filled with a hostile energy that always returned quickly even after he had

exhausted himself with physical exercise or sex.

“I need you to go to Argentina in the morning. You"ll be gone thirty-six hours

at the outside. You"ll meet your contact at the airport in Buenos Aires. Everything

is in place. It should go very smoothly.”

“I"m not going, and you can give me my fucking language classes back.”

“You have been replaced. You will not be teaching languages again. Now don"t

be an idiot.”

Kael grabbed him by the elbow and squeezed hard. “Don"t call me an idiot,

Stephen.”

“I apologize,” he said at once. “Those classes were a disaster. Your students

were terrified of you, and each time I saw you in the cafeteria or the lift, you were so

tightly wound up you looked ready to kill anyone who stepped in your path. Killing

calms you down; you know it does. It"s not just a job to you. It"s recreation.”

“Really?” Kael said.

“Look, Saunders, I know you were supremely well prepared and capable of

teaching your languages classes. The courses you designed should have gone

flawlessly. The problem is, you do not like people and they don"t like you. Had you

been teaching robots, you would have had them perfectly trained in very short

order, but you"re not meant to be around ordinary human beings. You have no

patience and you have no manners.” He moved a couple of feet to the side, nervously