His Wounded Light (6 page)

“Love possesses seven hundred wings and each one extends from the highest heaven to the lowest earth.”

—Rumi

The private school gymnasium is full of people, parents and students alike. The atmosphere is relatively calm, save for the screeching of rubber against the floor and the lulling rhythm of a bouncing ball. Instructions are being called out as the visiting team tries to block the home team from making the basket. I’m the team’s assistant coach and Eddie is the team’s center. It’s been three days since we came home from Paris; we didn’t want to be away for any more of Eddie’s games. About two years ago, we moved back to Southeast Asia to be with our families after ten years of living in Chicago. After the death of her mother, Isabel and I decided to settle back home to run our family businesses. So far, it has been the best decision we have ever made. Our life is established and stable and filled with mundane yet fulfilling experiences such as this.

They’re playing a good game—third quarter and we’re up by six points. Isabel is sitting low in the stands, her feet propped up on the bench in front of her. She stands out among the faceless crowd of people. She’s aware of the attention paid to me by some of the crazy mothers and goes out of her way to show me that she fully understands that it’s part of the job. One of the mothers grabs my arm while she’s speaking to me and I willfully shake it off as I finish the conversation and move on. I actually feel sorry for their pitiful husbands. I’m going to remind the coach to reiterate the “No talking to coaches during the game” rule at the next parent meeting.

I’m running back and forth on the sidelines, calling out plays and I stop short, filled with pride as Eddie makes a three-point shot. Isabel stands up and cheers for him. She smiles at us when I pat him on the shoulder and a time out is called for a rotation. I know that she’s thinking—
how did he get so tall so fast?
She looks at us admiringly and I know she’s savoring these moments just like I am. As she breaks her attention from her boys, I see Betty waltz into the gym, surveying the crowd and looking for my wife. Those two have been known to traipse in fashionably late ever since they were in high school.

Eddie’s final shot widens the gap and the opposing team falls apart after that. The final buzzer goes off and the boys walk the line to congratulate the other players. I shake the other coaches’ hands and look up to see Isabel and Betty cutting through the stands on their way towards us.

“Hi, baby.” I tilt my head and give Isa a kiss and then do the same for Betty. We stand by the referee’s table while Eddie talks to his teammates and gathers up his things. A few seconds later, Betty’s daughter, Lindsay, comes up to greet us.

“Hi, pretty girl. Are you spending the day with your mom?” Isa asks as Lindsay greets us each with a kiss.

“I’ve got cheerleading practice next door but Mom wanted me to come and say hi to you.”

Betty nods at her. “Linds, I’ll swing by after this. Wait for me in the classroom.”

Lindsay is tall, lithe and beautiful, just like her parents. Both she and Eddie were honeymoon babies and it has been nothing short of a pleasure to watch them grow up together.

“How are you? How was Paris?” Betty asks.

I remain standing there, listening to their conversation, drifting in and out as the other parents come up to ask me questions about next week’s practice schedule.

“It was great! I’ve been spending the last couple of days catching up on stuff at home.”

“Who’s with Maddy baby?” Betty’s focus turns to Isa’s new purse as she grabs it and lifts it up to check it out.

“She’s at Gymboree play group with Emmy. Alex and I will be swinging by over there after the game. Do you like it?” She locks arms with her best friend.

“Love it! Another one from the Alexander McQueen collection! Before or after he died?” Betty shrieks excitedly.

“After. I couldn’t bear to pay what I paid for it, let alone any of the collectibles,” she explains with a laugh. “Alex convinced me to grab it given that you can’t buy it anywhere else but in Paris. What have you been up to?”

“Nothing much. The kids have so much going on these next few weeks. Lindsay’s in tons of summer camps, Michael’s spending a month in the US with his grandparents, and Pauline is ready for preschool.”

Three children in ten years. While we’ve always known that she would make a wonderful mother, she has exceeded anything Isa and I had ever expected.

Their conversation is interrupted by the coach announcing the ending prayer. We bow our heads down but I can see the women still huddled in conversation.

“It’s amazing how he looks so much like his father,” Betty whispers, nodding her head in Eddie’s direction. “And I did see that bitch making a move on your husband.”

“Eh. What else is new?” The look on Isa’s face is nonplussed. She’s used to the basketball moms making their moves and knows I don’t pay them any attention.

I take her hand and she grips it possessively. Betty sneers at me as I shrug my shoulders.

“So,” Isabel continues, “do you guys want to come over for dinner this weekend? We can catch up then. I’m going to have to round Eddie up so we can get going to Maddy’s session next. Did I tell you that the doctor thinks she isn’t socializing enough and that’s why her eyes aren’t focusing correctly?”

“No, you forgot to tell me that part,” Betty answers.

“She looks at us more now, so it looks pretty promising. Alex really thinks it’s just a matter of time and I tend to believe him.”

I bob my head in agreement with her last statement. We were concerned about Maddy’s inability to focus on objects as soon as she was able to see, but we’ve already seen a dramatic change in her movements after the therapist suggested a weekly baby playgroup.

“Wait, I know we both have to go, so quickly—tell me more about Paris.” Betty gently holds her arm, refusing to allow her to leave.

“It was wonderful, B! For the first time in a while, I wasn’t on my laptop and Alex wasn’t on his phone. It was so romantic, so relaxing. We had a great time. I’m ready for another baby. Oh, gosh. I’m rambling, I know.”

Isabel’s bright disposition is heartwarming; I can hardly tear my eyes away from her smiling face. I’m extremely touched by her demeanor, especially because I know that she holds nothing back from Betty. During our last day in Paris, we did decide that we would try for another baby. And we tried four times that day. For a couple of old people, I would say that we’re still pretty amazing in the stamina department.

I can’t believe I tuned out for a while there. Jesus, Ailey. You’re supposed to be eavesdropping on your wife’s conversation. What did I miss?

“See you this Saturday?” Isa is kissing her goodbye.

“Yes! We’ll be there for dinner. Text me later and tell me what you want me to bring. There’s this new cake that I want to try. I’ll plan on bringing it for desert.”

The rest of the week goes by quickly. Isabel and I spend a few late nights in the office. I’m trying to close on a deal and we’re stuck in the twilight zone of meetings. Isabel has begged off on a couple of client dinners to stay home and regroup with the children. Another quality that I love about my wife. She keeps everything grounded when things just swirl out of control and our life becomes a flurry of activity.

“You go ahead,” she’ll say, “I think I should stay home and have dinner with Eddie and Maddy.”

Those nights out are usually late and so I often find myself slipping into bed with her and Maddy while trying not to trip over Eddie, who camps out on our floor. She still doesn’t like to sleep alone, something that has carried over from her childhood. I don’t mind having the kids with us, although I often joke that we would probably be just as happy in a one-bedroom condo as we are in our seven-bedroom home.

It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon and Maddy and I are in the pool. Eddie is running around in his swim trunks, dribbling a basketball on the cement walkway leading to the pool house. Isabel is sitting right next to us with her legs dangling in the water.

“What time are Leigh and Betty coming over?” I ask as I hold Maddy above the water in her swim ring. “Maddy, show Mommy your paddles.”

Maddy happily indulges us and makes a few insignificant baby kicks in the water. She is truly a gorgeous child. Brown hair like her mother, deep blue eyes like her father. Her skin is fair and her smile will always be the death of me.

“Great job, baby girl!” Isabel claps her hands elatedly. “Sixish, I think,” she responds to my question.

“I think we have time for a short nap.” I narrow my eyes pointedly at her and she wickedly wiggles her eyebrows.

I lift Maddy up and seat her next to her mother while I hoist myself up with my arms and get out of the pool. Isa carries our daughter, who is now wrapped in a towel, into the house.

“I’m going to have Emmy put her down for her afternoon siesta,” she says. “Eddie! We’re going inside. If you want to keep playing with that ball, please take it to the court. I don’t want you running around the pool by yourself, okay? Auntie Betty and Uncle Leigh will be here in a few hours.”

Isa and I walk hand in hand back into the house. I’m getting excited just thinking of what lies ahead. I’ve missed my quiet moments with her this week.

“Are Lindsay, Mike and Pauline coming, Mom?” Eddie calls behind us.

“Yes, they are. So why don’t you rest for a while so you can stay up late tonight?”

I will never
ever
tire of taking those afternoon naps.

***

“All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.”

—Edgar Allan Poe

“Hi! The Taylors are here!”

Betty and her family find us outside on the patio sitting around a coffee table laden with appetizers and drinks. Eddie is sprawled out on the loveseat playing with his iPad. I swear that kid is going to be the next big video game mogul. His ability to decipher code and break through barriers and levels is nothing short of genius.

“What’s up, Taylor?” I get up and shake Leigh’s hand.

“Not much, dude. We just saw each other two days ago!” He says sarcastically.

I ignore his smart remark and walk towards the bar to get everyone some drinks. Mario, the bartender, is ready to serve us. “Baby, what would you ladies like to drink?” I call out to Isa, who’s standing by the sliding doors about to go into the house with Betty and the kids.

“Don’t worry about us, A. We’ll be back in a minute. Just want to show Betty the painting that we got in Paris.”

Leigh and I settle down on the couch with two glasses of scotch.

“Let’s go play Payday,” Lindsay says as she and Mike hover around Eddie, who’s still lost in his game.

“Okay,” Eddie agrees as he gets up from the couch. Eddie and Lindsay are the best of friends. He complains about her bossing him around, but secretly, I think he’s fine with it. The two younger children have run into the house to ransack Eddie’s room.

“So, did you tell her yet?” Leigh stretches out on the couch and hands me a cigar.