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Authors: Ally Gray

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BOOK: In-Laws & Outlaws
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Chapter 12


I
don’t know
how you did it, but you came through like a champ once again,” Rod told Stacy over the phone around nine the next morning. “Turns out, Great Granny’s son—the grandfather of the bride—has some serious gambling debts through several online poker sites. He’s always had a gambling problem, according to his daughter—sorry, aunt of the bride—and he thought taking it to the world wide web would help keep him safe from bookies showing up at his house and demanding payment. When they tracked him down and paid him a visit, he panicked. Helping Great Granny into the ground would give him the money he needed to pay them off. He cracked like a rotten egg the moment we put some pressure on him. But how did you know it was him?”

“Remember how he looked, with his hair all wild and standing on end?” she asked, jarring Rod’s memory. “He never looked that way whenever there was wedding prep taking place. He always looked neat, with his hair slicked back. At the time I thought he was just trying to put on airs and show up the Lancasters, but it was really peanut oil in his hair. I think he was trying to trigger an attack in Great Granny all along.

“The day he sent over the manure, I smelled it and even got some oil on my hands from the steering wheel when I climbed in the truck to honk the horn. The smell of peanuts somehow managed to overpower the perfume of fresh poop, but only in the truck. I guess that’s why I forgot about it as soon as I got back out.”

“That’s some pretty savvy thinking there,” Rod hinted. “Don’t go getting any ideas about taking my job now.”

“Don’t worry, I’m more than fed up with crime fighting! But what I don’t get is all the pranks. They were just secondary to the real crime? Because if that’s true, somebody owes me a pound of flesh for all the property damage and stress they’ve caused,” she complained.
And a new pair of shoes
, she thought angrily.

“No, that was still him. He ramped up all the bad blood between the families to cover his tracks, thinking he’d make it all look like part of the plan to break these two kids up. It backfired big time, since the groom’s mother is a registered nurse. She knows you never, ever play around with food allergies, especially not peanut allergies, no matter how bad you want to get back at the other guy. It’s not like putting laxatives in the chocolate icing on the cake, I mean. Anyway, we couldn’t get her to crack in the least. No matter how hard we pressed, she insisted she oversaw every bit of the rehearsal dinner food herself. Once she learned the bride had a family member with allergies, she didn’t even have peanut products in her house while she and the other ladies were cooking, just to make sure no one accidentally used something that could hurt Great Granny.”

Stacy shook her head and frowned, despite the incredible shoulder massage from Nathan taking place at that very moment. It was supposed to be his way of waking her up and energizing her for this horror of a wedding, but instead it was putting her to sleep. She’d only managed to clock a couple of hours of shut eye after meeting with her staff and the happy couple, and she had to imagine that Rod had had even less sleep since he’d worked through the night interrogating the members of the two families.

“I just can’t believe one of those people would kill an old woman because he had a gambling problem. How much help could that actually be?” Stacy thought back to the elderly women she knew in her own life and couldn’t picture their Social Security checks being all that helpful in a financial crisis.

“Well, when you’re as loaded as Great Granny, it can solve a lot of problems,” Rod replied. “They may not have looked or acted like they had all that much, but her late husband owned stock in Coca-Cola, and she inherited all his shares when he passed away. Of course, those shares would transfer to her son and his siblings when she passed away, unless she had a will that stipulated otherwise. Turns out, she didn’t.” He cleared his throat and mumbled self-consciously. “You really saved the day with your theory, Stacy. We could have spent months digging all this up, but you came through for us in a big way.”

“No, Rod, I’ve got to say, you’re the champ here. Thanks to you and those long hours last night, I’ve got a wedding to put on today. You’re the best, I mean it.” Behind her, Nathan squeezed her shoulders a little harder and cleared his throat dramatically. “I’m sorry, on that note, I’m going to have to hang up because my boyfriend takes issue with me calling other men ‘the best.’ I’ll talk to you later, and thanks again!”

She clicked off her phone and laid it on her desk before spinning around in her chair to face Nathan. He scooped her up under her arms and slid beneath her before cradling her in his lap. He pulled her close and kissed her softly, smiling to himself when he felt the tension in her muscles slowly fade. She wound her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, but jumped up only seconds later.

“What are you doing? We’ve got a wedding today! Let’s go, let’s go! Get moving, mister!” she cried, clapping her hands and marching out of her office. Nathan hung his head in defeat for a moment.

“I’ve created a monster,” he said with a happy sigh before following her out into the bustle of activity going on outside her office at that very moment. He ducked when a large table came down the hallway over the heads of two moving crews, and pressed himself against the wall to avoid being smacked with the long arms of flowers extending from a centerpiece that a florist was carrying. Instead of moving on, he ducked back into Stacy’s office to wait out the storm.

By the time the somber-faced bride arrived at noon, most of the accoutrements were in place for a beautiful wedding. A simple but elegant gown hung in the bride’s parlor, a replacement of the one that had been destroyed in the police raid, courtesy of the department. A light lunch array of treats had been prepared by Chef Pierre, the in-house head of catering, and was waiting under its silver domed cloche for her to enjoy while she dressed and prepared.

Instead, Priscilla stood in the middle of the cozy but elegant room and looked around at the emptiness. She turned to Stacy with tears in her eyes, her thin shoulders shaking from the effort of trying not to cry.

“This isn’t how it was supposed to be at all,” she said as she wept quietly. “None of it was. It was supposed to be the best months of my life, months of showers and parties and good wishes from everyone who knew us, all leading up to the happiest day of my life. Instead, it’s been nothing but fighting, and crying, and feeling like I don’t have anybody in the world. And now, I really don’t have anybody. I’m all alone.”

Stacy came forward and held the younger woman tightly. “They’ll be here, Detective Sims promised me that himself. It’s just been difficult since it’s a Saturday and he has to have a judge sign their release papers. He’s working on it, though.”

“Oh, I know. But that’s not what I meant. The whole thing, from the moment Porter first proposed, has showed me just how little they all think of each other, and of me. Every family has its problems, but I’ve always stood by them. I’ve stood up for them. And I just figured out they couldn’t do the same thing for me. Like I said, whether they get here or not, I’m all alone.”

“No, you’re not. You’ve got a wonderful young man waiting for you, waiting to make a whole new family out of the love you share for each other. If you two can’t depend on your own families to be there for you and support your happiness, you just look forward, honey. Look ahead of you to the joy you’re going to bring to the world as husband and wife!” Stacy smiled at her, wiping tenderly at Priscilla’s tear-stained cheeks in a matronly way.

The bride smiled weakly and nodded, and Stacy gave her one last tight embrace before leaving her to begin getting dressed. She promised she would return with news of the suspects’ release as soon as she heard anything. In the meantime, she sacrificed having her own assistant for the busy day, sending Mandy in to keep Priscilla company in the way that all of her bridesmaids should have if they weren’t sharing a cell right that moment with two hookers and a DUI.

“Porter, you still breathing in there?” Stacy called through the closed door to the groom’s suite a few minutes later. She knocked lightly when she didn’t get an answer, then knocked louder when she still didn’t hear stirring. “I’m not afraid to have a security guy break down the door if you don’t answer!”

God knows we have enough of them standing around doing nothing right now
, she thought to herself bitterly.

Finally, Porter opened the door, looking like death. He had on his tuxedo trousers and his undershirt, a sad-looking white t-shirt that would have to be changed before the ceremony judging by the way he was sweating. Stacy’s mind immediately went to the possibility of another prank, wondering if someone could have slipped something in his food.

“Porter? Are you ill?” she cried, pressing a hand to his forehead to see if he was feverish. He shook his head, sending little beads of sweat flying off the ends of his damp hair.

“No, just terrified!” he replied, opening the door and stepping back to let her come in.

“Why are you terrified? You know Priscilla adores you! You two have been through so much to get to this day, and now that it’s here, it’s going to be wonderful!”

“It’s not that, I know she loves me. But what if something else goes wrong? Face it, somebody died at my rehearsal dinner! What if that wasn’t the end of it?” He slumped in a wing-back chair and let his head fall to his hands.

“Porter, I told you what happened, it had nothing to do with wanting to break you two up. That’s all over. And besides, I still haven’t been able to secure the release of your in-laws. You’re safe until a judge signs those pieces of paper. I promise!”

“So you mean, they’re not here yet?” he demanded, looking up. He looked around the room as if that explained the absence of his groomsmen. “Priscilla is never going to go through with it! You don’t know her like I do, she’s stubborn as a mule. She’s a real fighter. It’s one of her best qualities!”

Stacy looked around at the empty room and wondered how Porter would be holding up if his family and friends were here by his side. She somehow doubted he’d be feeling any better right now, and secretly wanted to tell him to count his blessings that he wasn’t surrounded by those idiots on his wedding day. Instead, she maintained her professionalism and held her tongue.

“I’ve got this under control,” she finally announced in a voice that would have made Jeremiah proud.

I
t was time
. Priscilla had initially balked at the solution Stacy had proposed, but in the end, even the bride had to admit it was the best they were ever going to get. Even better, it was probably the only way this wedding would ever happen without another murder taking place.

The few guests who’d made it so far filled the two scant rows of white wooden folding chairs that had been placed strategically at the front of the outdoor venue. The minister looked on with a bemused expression, while Porter grinned so widely that his smile seemed to divide his face in two. Priscilla smiled back as she approached the altar, walking tragically alone with no one to give her away, but with her head still held high.

Behind her, two 55-inch flat-screen televisions faced the altar, one on each side of the flower petal-strewn aisle runner. A video camera on top of each monitor relayed the images and sound. The security detail continued to stand guard over the televisions, an overly large man placed on either side of them, standing watch with his cannon-sized arms crossed in front of an equally impressive chest. If they weren’t so intimidating and the situation so grave, the men would have been a glorious sight to behold, as Mandy’s and Tori’s contented sighs clearly said every time they passed by.

“Dearly beloved,” the minister said with forced brightness, “most of us are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Porter Lancaster and Priscilla Hardy. For those of you joining us via closed circuit court TV, we welcome you to raise your hand if you can’t hear.” No one laughed at the absurdity of the announcement, and when Stacy turned to look at the monitors, she saw nothing but smiles from the two matched sets of relatives, all wearing their department issued orange jumpsuits. She held the remote control clutched fiercely in her hand, having muted the televisions in case any of them still harbored any ideas about objecting to the marriage. She was completely tickled at the view, though, as the security detail Mr. Giudice had brought in stood guard on either side of the monitors, as though these cornflakes could do anything to stop this wedding from the county jail.

For his part, Rod stood off to the side under the shade of a large weeping willow tree. When he’d arrived to tell her in person that he had the signed release papers, she’d made him promise to wait until after the ceremony.

“There’s no reason to ruin their day by having these people show up,” she’d explained. “And besides, we’ve already rented the monitoring equipment. We can’t get a refund at this late date, especially not after having them deliver it and set it up on a moment’s notice. Trust me, it’s better this way.”

“Yeah, well, there’s this unfortunate little thing called obstruction of justice. If I’m gonna sit on these papers and keep these people locked up, I’d better have a damn good excuse. Sorry, but not wanting them to spoil those kids’ special day isn’t reason enough to have the taxpayers of this state pay for their lunch today.” He’d given Stacy a defeated look, bothered that he couldn’t be more helpful when his job interfered, and walked towards his car.

“Shoot,” Stacy said out loud, not realizing anyone could hear her. She saw her assistant standing by her elbow and said, “I just wish there was some way to keep him from getting back to the office in time to free all of them.”

“One step ahead of you, boss,” Mandy said with a laugh.

“What did you do?”

“Oh, I just took a lesson from the Lancasters and Hardys. I let the air out of his tires.” Stacy looked shocked for only a moment, then laughed loudly and threw an arm around Mandy’s shoulders.

BOOK: In-Laws & Outlaws
10.25Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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