Roadside Bodhisattva (7 page)

“Buh—bye, Ann. Don’t forget to order muh—more fries.”

“Okay, Sonny. Go safe.”

The chef took off in the same direction as Yasmine.

“How far’s he have to go?” I asked.

“About nine miles,” Ann said. “He lives with his sister just outside Lumberton.”

“How come Yasmine doesn’t give him a ride?”

Ann looked kinda weary or embarrassed or something. “They start at different times in the morning.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t explain why she couldn’t give him a lift now.”

Sue said, “Yasmine’s a bitch. She’s too good for the rest of us. She comes from
California.
”

“That’s enough, Sue. It’s Yasmine’s decision to make. Remember that she’s got her mother to worry about.”

Sue blew air so her lips fluttered noisily. “Oh, I for
got,
the
mo
vie star!”

“Mrs. O’Hara’s old job has nothing to do with anything. She’s a sick woman. Maybe you’d like to be in such a fix, having to take care of your Mom.”

“If my Mom was dying, she’d probably still refuse to see me.”

“Sue, that’s not true! I grew up with your mother, and I know she loves you very much. You two just need to reconnect on a new level.”

“Sorry, Aunt Ann, but that’s so far from reality it’s not even on this planet”

My question had started this old messy argument, and I felt guilty about it. My feelings must’ve shown, because Ann said, “Let’s not spend any more time on this discussion. I’ve got to get behind the desk at the office. Are the cabins finished?”

“Almost. Just the little courtesy touch left.”

“Well, get to it.”

I stuck up my hand. “Any more work for me today?”

“No, Kid. We’ll organize a chore list tomorrow that’ll keep you and Sid busy. But right now you’re free.”

“Cool.”

I thought about tracking down Sid. But if he was still hanging with Angie, I didn’t want to be a part of that scene.

“C’mon with me, Kid,” Sue said. “You can help me, and then I bet you’ll want to use our shower.”

I could feel my face get red. “Do I smell that bad?”

Sue’s plump face split in a broad smile. “Have you ever smelled an old dishcloth that’s been soaking in mayonaisse-flavored hotdog water for about a month?”

“Get out of here!”

“Okay, maybe soaking for just two weeks.”

Ann laughed. “You’d better get used to Sue’s wicked sense of humor, Kid. It’s worse if she likes you.”

Now my face really started to burn.

“Follow me, Kid Mayo.”

Sue led me to the back door of the office building that was also where her and Ann lived. The door opened up onto a small storage area full of fresh sheets and towels and cleaning supplies. Sue grabbed a small box and headed toward the cabins.

At the farthest one she used her key to open the door and went inside. I followed. The inside of the place was kinda homey, even if it was a little drab. A chipped dresser and mirror, bed covered with a nubby spread, a plastic chair. Heavy drapes could be pulled across the front picture window. The lamps featured paper shades with pictures of cowboys on them, fit more for a kid’s bedroom than some kinda den of sin.

“First we have to fill the machine.”

Sue opened a door that revealed the tiny bathroom. She stepped inside, and said, “Come here, so you can learn.”

I went into the bathroom with her. There was barely enough room for both of us.

On the wall hung a coin-operated condom dispenser. Sue cracked it open and took fresh condoms from her box to top it off.

I looked away, but then she said, “Here, Kid, for you,” and I had to look back at her.

Grinning like a cat, she held out a pink-wrapped condom for me.

It took me way too long to find my voice. “Oh, great, what’m I gonna do with that?”

“If you don’t know—”

I snatched it out of her hand and stuffed it in my pocket “I know plenty. Are we done here?”

“Almost.”

We left the bathroom. Sue moved to the bed. From her box she took two Hershey’s Kisses and placed one on each pillow.

“Classy,” I said. “I’m surprised you don’t lay out chocolate dildos.”

“Oh, now that’s just crude.”

“Me crude? Who handed who a condom?”

Sue shrugged, her face now sober. “Nothing personal, Kid. Just preaching safe sex, right? Who you do it with is no concern of mine. Let’s finish up this assignment It’s been a long day.”

When Sue said that, I felt suddenly bone-tired. It seemed hard to believe that this morning I had woken up under a tree with just the open road ahead of me, and no awareness of what was going to happen, or that such a place as Deer Park even existed.

We laid out condoms and Kisses in the remaining cabins. Then Sue brought me back to the rooms where she and her aunt lived. I didn’t get a tour and really wasn’t interested at that point. A single bedroom with twin beds, a living room, a small kitchen that hardly looked used, a clunky old computer on a desk. One of the beds was covered with stuffed animals, I noticed. But only the green-tiled shower held any real attraction for me.

I locked myself in the bathroom and stripped. Pretty soon I was soaping up and shampooing myself more enthusiastically than a squad of football players after the game. This was my first shower in too many days.

Someone knocked on the door. “Kid A,” yelled Sue above the noise of the shower, “you want to put your grungy old clothes back on?”

I hadn’t thought about it. “Um, not really.”

“Well, I’ve got some other ones here that might fit. Stuff left behind by people. It’s all clean.”

“I’m not fussy.”

“Good. I’ll leave them on top of the hamper, and take your dirty ones for the laundry.”

“The door’s locked.”

“Not now it’s not.”

She got the damn door unlocked somehow. I moved away from the shower curtain, but she didn’t come any closer than the hamper. When I heard the door shut again, I peeked around the curtain.

Sue had left. I wasn’t sure if I was glad or disappointed.

The clothes fit good enough, a flannel shirt and some no-name jeans. I left the bathroom and found a connecting door to the office part of the building. Ann was the only one there, sorting through bills at a desk. She looked worn-down and preoccupied. I wondered why most of the adults I knew wore that same expression. One of the great things about Sid was that he never showed such a down face.

“Where’s Sue?”

“She took my car into town to get herself some more cigarettes. I really wish she’d quit.”

“Well, uh, thanks for everything, Ann. I think I’m gonna head back to the trailer now.”

“Fine.”

Inside the stubby trailer it was kinda gloomy, even though it was only about five o’clock. I flipped the switch on a forty-watt bulb and was surprised to see it light up. Ann must’ve turned the electricity back on. The beds had been made up, and I had to laugh when I saw the candies on the pillows. Sid’s pack rested on one bunk and mine on the other. I lay down on the bed alongside my pack. I dug out my headphones and started some classic Bad Brains playing. I was thinking about Jack living all alone in his mountaintop fire lookout tower. I thought I’d just close my eyes for a minute.

I don’t know what time it was when the noise of the busted door fighting somebody woke me up, but it was darker than dirt outside the trailer windows. Still half-asleep, I saw Sid come in. He looked bummed. But when he spotted me looking at him he managed to grin.

“Get back to sleep, Kid. Tomorrow’s a brand-new goddamn day.”

The variety of scraps you had to scrape off breakfast plates was much less interesting than what you got at lunchtime. I had never really thought about how traditional breakfast food was so much more limited than meals at other times of the day. Bits of toast with teethmarks in them. Smears of egg yolk. Chunks of pancake, soggy with butter and syrup. Some red and white crumbs of Sonny’s excellent hash. Splinters of well-done bacon. Paprika-sprinkled hunks of potato with fork grooves through them. That about covered the range of what people were ordering out front at the Deer Park Diner. Oh, and the occasional sticky bowl of oatmeal or Cream of Wheat. I shoveled all the leftovers into the compost bin and stacked the empty plates in the washer.

I had my earbuds in, listening to some skatepunk. The music helped me get into a real intense work rhythm. A line from
The Prophet
kept running through my brain below the music. “You work that you may keep pace with the earth and the soul of the earth.” That’s how I tried to work, even though this job was pretty unchallenging.

People’s leftovers could be pretty disgusting. But the sight and smell of all this mangled food probably would’ve still had me drooling, if I hadn’t already eaten. Eaten too much, in fact. Ann and Sonny had indulged me and Sid when we got into this dumb contest at breakfast.

When I opened my eyes that morning, my second day here, I had a feeling light must’ve just struck into the trailer. The light had that kind of early-morning freshness. But Sid was already up, in a manner of speaking. Actually, he was stretched out on the floor doing pushups. All he wore was his underwear. It was kinda embarrassing, especially since I was still totally dressed. But I figured if we were going to be sharing this space, I’d have to get used to this kinda display. I shucked my silent earbuds before I spoke.

“Uh, morning, Sid. Guess I fell asleep before I could get out of my clothes.”

“That’s the kinda thing. Usually happens. When you go full out. During a busy day. No shame. In that.”

Sid’s words came in bursts between his pushups. I couldn’t get out of bed while he was hogging the limited floorspace, so I had to watch his cotton-covered butt pumping up and down. The sight raised thoughts in my head about where Sid might have been until late last night. Trying to get into Ann’s pants, of course. And probably not succeeding, based on that scowl he had shown me in an unguarded moment. I remembered Sue handing me a condom, which still burned right now in the pocket of my new jeans. I had found it transferred there after Sue took my old clothes away to wash. But with a little effort I managed to push the stupid visions of these elderly people getting it on out of my mind. The advice Sue had offered me also applied to Sid. Whatever Sid did with his dick was his own business. If he was screwing Ann, or had at least tried to get into her pants, it was none of my affair.

Sid finished his exercises with a fancy little maneuver that left him standing, panting just a little. I got out of bed and moved off a bit from him. He wore a wide grin, and I could’ve believed that the grim expression I had seen him sporting last night was just a dream.

“Nothing like the old boot camp drill to get the blood flowing in the morning.”

“Are you telling me that you were in the Army once?”

“Maybe. What’s the matter? Can’t picture me taking orders? Well, I can accept bossing around just fine, if I put myself deliberately in a place where them’s the rules of the game. If you choose to join some system, then you should play by the system’s ground rules. At least that’s the way I look at it. Living outside all structures is one thing. That’s where I’m happiest. Then you get to make your own code. But if you sign onboard some ship, you don’t go bucking the captain. Unless you intend to overthrow him and take his place. And while there might be times when you’re compelled to do that, and to face all the heavy shit such a move brings with it, most of the time things work out best if everyone sticks to their assigned place, and does their job intelligently”

“Does this lecture have two parts? Because I really have to pee.”

Sid’s laughter rocked the trailer. “Jesus, I’m a windy old bastard, huh? Well, my only excuse is that I don’t get to spout off like this all that often. And besides, you’re a good listener, Kid. Go take your leak. I’ll see you at the diner.”

As I left, Sid was skinning into his pants and shirt, and still chuckling to himself.

Outside, the air was a little chilly. Yesterday’s heat seemed like a distant memory. I was glad I hadn’t been sleeping under some tree last night. As I crossed the distance to the motel office, a man and a woman came out of one of the cabins, all sneaky-like. They crept into their separate cars and drove away. I wondered if they were each married to someone else, and exactly what they had done with each other in their hideaway last night. More stupid thoughts I had to force out of my head.

I knocked at the back door of the office, and when I didn’t get any answer I went inside. The rooms where Ann and Sue lived were empty. A clock told me it was just six am. I used the toilet. On the sink were two new toothbrushes, resting atop a sheet of paper. The paper had my name and Sid’s written on it. I ran my tongue around the inside of my mouth, and it felt pretty skeavy. So I brushed my teeth and put the wet brush in a slot in the cup-holder on the wall. I looked in the mirror, and my hair was a mess. I ran some water into my hand, and slicked my hair flat. I dabbed some on my mustache, wishing that there was more hair there to dab. Then I went to the diner.