The Forever Broken (Broken #3) (7 page)

I’m so torn. I can’t tell Adam what I know, but in the
same breath can I allow him to go on thinking he’s about to become a father? Is
it my place to tell him or is it selfish of me? Damn, I hate this. I hate that
I love him and he doesn’t even see me, not truly.

What if I didn’t love him, would I still want to tell
him?
Yes.

This isn’t just anyone’s kid though, this is DJ’s. He’s
family. This will cause a ripple through the whole family. Mikey is going to
kill him - if Adam doesn’t. Our family has been through enough. I wish DJ
wasn’t so freaking selfish and whorish with women.

Watching DJ grieve his brother was heart-breaking, and
knowing his secret but not knowing the right time to bring it up was causing me
to have a stomach ulcer.

Terrie is to blame for all this, she has Adam who adores
her and she ruins that by going behind his back with a kid.

DJ might be old enough but he’s immature and only thinks
with his dick, and now his whole life is going to change.

Argh! I can’t keep going over this in my head, I’m
driving myself crazy. Looking down at the white tee and tight skinny jeans I’ve
slipped into, I agree with my reflection that I look good enough to get me
noticed. I needed a break from everyone. I needed someone to take my mind off
Adam. Moving on from this thing I harbor for him is the best thing I can do for
him and me, even if I know I’ll wake up next to some other guy and the feelings
will still be there haunting me.

“You look nice.”

I startle at DJ’s words as I step out the front door.
“Thanks, what are you doing here?” I ask, surprised to see him. Him and Blaydon
hadn’t been speaking for going on six weeks now.

“Came to see Blaydon. Where are you going?”

“Out, just need a break, you know?” I shrug.

He sighs, looking down at the ground. He looks older than
he should, like the world is on his shoulders. Quinn’s death took its toll on
him and none of us know what it was like for him to witness what he did that
day, plus this shit with Adam and Terrie will be eating away at him. He was
friends with Adam and loyalty was a trait DJ admired and always tried to have,
so going behind peoples back like this will be hurting him.

“You need to tell him, DJ, you need to tell everyone so
you can get the support you need right now.” I vomit out.

His eyes snap up to meet my own. “What are you talking
about?” His tone is defensive and I hate that he has kept this to himself for
so long.

“I heard you talking to Blaydon about the baby, DJ.”

He rushes up to me and drags me around the side of the
house, shushing me.  “You were sneaking around and listening to other people’s
conversations?”

Snatching my arm from his grip I push at his shoulder to
warn him to give me space. “Don’t go all crazy on me, DJ. I wasn’t being sneaky
I just happened to hear it. I’m telling you to do the right thing and tell
Adam. He’s Mikey’s best friend.”

“Don’t you think I know that? He’s also my friend. This
is a fucking shit storm.”

“If you don’t tell him, I will, DJ. It’s not fair what
you’re both doing. He thinks he’s going to be a daddy! He wants to marry her.”

“I know, Mya! Fuck! What the hell has this got to do with
you anyway?”

“Don’t do that! You’re my family, DJ. Mikey’s my brother
and I’ve known Adam a long time.”

He blows out an exaggerated breath. “I don’t know what to
do.” His voice drops and my heart flips in my chest. I grab him and bring him
against me, holding him. His arms clasp around me in return and I know he must
be at his lowest point because affection from him was rare. DJ was more a ‘mock
his siblings to hide how much he loved them’ type of character so I embraced
this glimmer of his softer side.

“I’m so fucked. How did this happen to me?” he whispers
on a broken breath.

“It will all be okay, you just have to get this part over
with and let us, your family, help you through it.”

                                                               
***

I need a drink even more than before after leaving DJ.
The warm air of the club douses me in the atmosphere of the partygoers. The
feet stomping over the dance floor gives the place a heartbeat, electrifying
the air with the endless possibilities.

Making my way to the bar I smile back at some admiring
glances. Tonight I was going to be open to every guy who wanted to chat with
me. I planned on giving my number to a least two people tonight and maybe
taking one up on the offer of great sex. It better be great too because
anything less was only going to make me pine for Adam more. 

“Shot of tequila,” I shout to the bartender and get an
approved nod in return.

Scanning the bar, my heart begins to pound inside my
chest when I recognize the tattooed drunk at the bottom of the bar. He was magnificent
and stood out against the rest of the crowd, making them appear bland in
comparison. Some of his tattoos peaked out from under his shirt, crawling up
his neck. I knew first-hand where they disappeared to and every inch of flesh
they covered. He didn’t remember our night together but I’ll never forget it.

Dropping a bill on the bar I take my shot and shoot it
back before making my way over to Adam.

His head is looking down at his glass like it holds the
answers to the universe.

“Hey,” I offer meekly.

His eyes slide to mine and surprise lightens them. “Hey,
Mya.”

“Didn’t expect to see you here.” I smile.

There’s sadness in his demeanor; his shoulders are
slumped and frown lines mar his perfect features. Holding up his glass, he nods
at the bartender before turning to me. “I needed a drink.”

“You look like hell,” I point out.
No he doesn’t, he
looks edible.

 “That’s where I’ve been.” He voice is thick with emotion
and it makes my inside hum to comfort him.

I shift closer to him, bringing my hand down on his
shoulder and drawing my body into his so I can hear him properly over the
music. “Do you need to talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about. Terrie lost the baby.”

An involuntary gasp leaves me and I hate that the first
thought in my mind is why hasn’t she told DJ when the man I love is breaking in
front of me. “I’m so sorry, Adam.”

The bartender refills his glass. Tipping it back in one
Adam smashes it down, shattering it in his hand. “When I tried to go to the
hospital to see her she told me the kid wasn’t even mine and that she didn’t
want me to come to the hospital.” He laughs manically.

My stomach drops when I notice blood pouring from his
hand. Taking it in mine I assess the damage and cringe at the gashes in his
palm. “Adam, I think this will need stitches.”

Snatching his hand from mine he shrugs and gestures the
bartender over.

“I think you’ve had enough,” the guy warns him, looking
down at the mess he’s leaving on the bar.

“It’s fine, we’re leaving,” I quickly tell the bartender
who’s signalling security after seeing the mess Adam has made of the glass and
his hand.

I pull Adam from his stool and drag him towards the door
as he’s telling the entire club that his money is as good as anyone else’s.

“I need to call a cab and get you to the hospital, Adam.”

“Fuck that, I have my car. I’m going home.” His hand
burrows into his pocket and appears with his car keys.

Quickly snatching them from him I shake my head at him as
he advances on me. “No way am I allowing you to freaking drive, are you
kidding?”

“I’m not going to that fucking hospital, Mya. I can’t. I
won’t.” He stands staring at me with a piercing defiant gaze and I weaken
knowing how much he’s hurting.

“Okay, but I need to stop the bleeding and clean that up
for you. I’ll drive us back to yours.”

He nods his head and looks down at the hand bleeding heavily
and creating a crimson river down his jeans before reaching over his head and
tugging on the collar of his t-shirt, pulling it over his head in one swift
motion.

My eyes drop to his now bare chest and my thighs push
together to relieve the sudden pulse throbbing there.

“Mya?”

“Huh? What?”

He cocks a brow, holding out the shirt to me. “Can you
help me wrap the hand?”

Shit, I was just staring at the beautifully crafted torso
that’s covered in a striking web of ink in a total lust infested state.

Grabbing the shirt from his hand, I shrug and let out a nervous
laugh. “Of course.”

I wrap his bleeding hand the best I can and tell him to
keep it elevated before opening the car door and sliding into the driving seat.

 Adam is a lot taller than me so I have to adjust the
seat, causing him to chuckle and comment, “cute” which gives me butterflies in
my gut like a fourteen year old schoolgirl. Why did I have to feel this way
about him? It would be so much easier on my heart and nether regions if I just
saw him as the friend he was supposed to be.

He doesn’t speak on the entire drive back to his and at
one point I think he may have fallen asleep but as soon as the car stops he
jumps straight out without pause.

I follow his lead into his apartment, cringing when I see
the furniture askew with the glass table smashed in the centre of the room.

“Excuse the mess.” He shrugs throwing himself down on the
couch 

I go to his bathroom and find some bandages and wipes to
clean his hand up with.

“I’m going to have to clean that and make sure there’s no
glass inside.”

He waves the hand in front of me and shrugs. He hisses
when I dab the alcoholic wipes over his hand. The blood has begun to crust and
I have to add pressure to get a thorough clean.

“Did Terrie say who the baby belonged to?” I ask,
cautiously.

He grunts in response. “It’s probably one of those
fucking sleazy businessmen down at her club, they’re always offering her money
for a good time. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter now anyway.”

I wrap the hand in a bandage but fear he may need stitches.
Getting to his feet he undoes his jeans and pushes them to the floor. I have to
bite my lip at the bulge in his boxers. His abs ripple and tense as he moves
and I want to pounce on him and take away his pain for just a night.

“If you want to go get in bed I can tidy this mess up for
you,” I offer with a dry mouth.

He looks at me with a scrunched up face. “Fuck that, Mya,
you’re not a maid. I can’t bear to be in that room knowing that bitch’s scent
is on my sheets. I’m going to crash here.”

He lays down on the couch and pats the small space next
to him. “Will you stay and just lay here with me?” He sounds like a damaged
little boy. My heart cracks and speeds up all in the same moment.

I kick my boots off and lay next to him. He stares into
my eyes as our bodies connect. “Why did she have to do this?” he questions but
I don’t think he really expects an answer.

“Some people do things without thought of consequence to
the people they hurt.”

I swipe a stray tear from his eye and stroke over his
eyes, forcing him to close them.

“She doesn’t deserve you Adam, this pain will pass I
promise.”

***

I wake up in a sweaty fog. A weight keeps me pinned and
for a brief moment I panic before I inhale Adam’s scent.

I need to use the bathroom but his arm has me pinned to
him, and I don’t ever want him to let go.

His morning wood pokes me in the hip and a flutter of
images flicker through my imagination causing an ache in my panties.

“Oh fuck, I drooled on your hair,” he croaks, opening his
eyes and slurping his apparent drool.

“It’s fine.” I assure him.

“What I did to deserve you as a friend I’ll never know,
Mya.”

My heart deflates a little when he says that.

He gets up, leaving me cold. “I need to shower and then
I’m buying you breakfast.”

I wait for him to disappear and then silently scream into
the room. I loved him and it was becoming so painful to just be his friend.

Nothing feels right anymore. Quinn left a hole in this
family and I was about to create more chaos by letting them know that I was
going to be a dad to Adam’s girlfriend’s kid. This fucking sucked. Mikey would
never forgive me for this. Adam was like a brother to him and in fairness he
was a friend of mine too. He was a great bloke and I had a lot of respect and
admiration for him. I was a fucking cunt.

I hated myself for being so weak when it came to Terrie
flashing her pussy at me. All I could think about was her being a stripper and
knowing from the boy talk with Adam that she was dirty in the sack. Truth is,
it didn’t even last long and I was hammered at the time, but she’s acting like
we planned an affair and we’re going to be a couple or some shit. Why she’d want
me is a bigger mystery.

Adam worshipped her and had a lot more experience in the
sack than me, and from what I’ve heard he knows what he’s doing as well.

I’d never really thought I could be the boyfriend type
until I met Jillian. She was tutoring me for an exam but carried on even after
I sat the exam. She wasn’t my type when it came to women, she didn’t flaunt her
body and sexuality. She was shy and modest, which usually I would run from or
mock, but damn it worked for her. She was one of those clever chicks that
didn’t need to try hard to get good grades. She was a bookworm to the max, and at
first glance you wouldn’t give her a second thought but when you’re up close in
her presence it’s like entering a different realm, she captures you in this
aura that emanates from her and I get drunk on her innocent charm. Under all
that hair and those geeky glasses, she was stunning. She was a girl without all
the makeup other chicks wear and yet they couldn’t rival her flawless bare
beauty. I was smitten with a girl for the first time in my life and in a
situation that wouldn’t let me explore those feelings.

“DJ?”

I snap from my thoughts and look over the table at
Jillian. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

“Are you okay?” Her hand reaches across the divide and rests
on top of mine, heating the skin beneath her palm. She was so soft. “You’ve
been distracted all morning. Do you want to go get some breakfast before we
work on this?” Her eyes expand making them appear incredibly big compared to
her dainty features. Her eyelashes flutter like butterfly wings. I just want to
lay my head in her lap and beg her to hold me. I was pathetic.

“I could eat,” I tell her, offering a smile that I don’t
feel.

She had been there for me when Quinn died. Seeing my brother
broken and bleeding while paramedics worked on him will stay with me for the
rest of my life. Sleeping was impossible and I feel like I lost more than Quinn
that day. I lost my other brother too. I couldn’t forgive Blaydon yet. I just
felt utter betrayal when Sophia let it out that he was messing with both her
and Quinn. Blay knew how hard it was for me to accept Arya and Mikey and yet he
was doing the same shit behind everyone’s back.

I went to see him last night but I walked into his room
to find Sophia asleep in his bed. I couldn’t deal with it. Everything was
building and I felt like I was going to explode. Jillian was the only thing
keeping my feet on the ground, and a bottle out of my hand.

I drive us to go get something to eat and when I pull up
she doesn’t get out. She looks over at me, biting her lip. Things were in an
awkward phase with us. I never thought it would be possible for her to ever
look at me the way she is right now, and those looks are becoming a common
thing these days. Fuck it!

I reach over, placing my hand on her thigh…
Fuck, her
skin is like silk.
My dick grows without permission and when her hand lays
on top of mine instead of removing it my impulses have me leaning over and
stealing her lips in a kiss.

Her lips are warm and plump. I just want to bite down on
them, drag her into the back seat and fuck her senseless. I swipe my tongue
into her mouth and relish her willingness to replicate. She’s inexperienced,
which shows in her hesitant movements but fuck, if that doesn’t make her more
attractive. I want to strip her bare and climb inside every inch of her.

My hands move up to cup her tits and then she pushes me
away, gasping for breath. Her cheeks are flushed and her lips swollen. Her eyes
are unfocused to the point where she looks dazed. “DJ…” she whispers meekly.

Then reality fills the car like a toxic smog. What the
hell am I doing? I can’t start something with her, and especially rush shit
like she’s one of my conquests. Fuck! Fuck! I’m always thinking with my dick.

“I’m sorry,” I blurt and quickly put distance between us.

“I don’t want you to be sorry.” She takes my hand in hers
and my eyes drop down to watch her link our fingers. It makes me feel
invincible, like nothing else matters because this girl, this amazing,
talented, clever, beautiful girl, finds me worthy enough to put her dainty hand
in mine. “I just want you to be sure that this is what you want, and that
you’re not acting on grief and impulse.”

She drops her head so her chin is nearly resting on her
chest. “I can’t just be one of those other girls for you, a one-night girl.”

I squeeze her hand in mine and for now I just want to
pretend I can have her, if only for today. “I don’t want you to be that. You’re
nothing like any other girl to me. You’re so fucking unique sometimes I find it
hard to breathe in your presence.” I squirm a little in my seat. I’m not used
to being this open with girls.

Her face lifts and turns to mine and her eyes have
glassed over. “Really?”

Damn, she has no idea how incredible she truly is.
“You’re the only girl I want to be around,” I tell her honestly.

She sniffs up and chuckles. “Even when I’m riding you for
not concentrating enough?” She cocks her brow and it’s adorable.

“Even then.”

My heart begins to pound so loudly in my chest that it
thunders in my ears, blocking out whatever Jillian is saying. Through the
window of the diner I see Mya, her hand is lying on top of Adam’s and she looks
deep in conversation but his other hand is clenched on the table and his head
is down.

She’s fucking told him before I have had a chance to.

Adam gets up and leaves with her following after him.

I can’t fucking move, despite Jillian tugging on our joined
hands and laughing at me.

The door swings open and Adam comes barrelling out. Mya’s
feet stutter when she sees me standing there.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” I blurt out, stumping Jillian who
looks up at Adam when he stops in front of me with a look on his face that I
can’t decipher. “It only happened once. I was drunk and stupid. I wore a condom.
I don’t know how this happened…” I rush out, trying to explain but sounding
like a fucking douchebag. Nothing I can say will make what I did okay.

He steps back like I’ve punched him in the gut, and then
bursts into a fit of hysterics. Mya’s eyes are wider than her open mouth as she
stares up at Adam’s insane response.

“You are fucking kidding me?” He laughs, swiping at his
eyes. “You, DJ? You fucked and impregnated my girlfriend?”

Jillian’s hand pulls from mine, gaining my attention. Her
once rosy cheeks from our make-out are now ghost white and her eyes are cast
down. She pulls her arms around herself. “I’m going to go.”

Before I can stop her she takes off running.

I look over at Mya who is watching Adam like he may
combust in front of her at any second. “I thought you told him?” I ask her.

Her eyes snap to mine in alarm as Adam stops laughing and
looks over at her. I can’t determine what it is I’m seeing but I know it’s pain
mixed with a hundred other emotions.

“What?” he chokes out.

She’s shaking her head, no. “I, he… I wanted them to tell
you,” she vomits out on a rush but tears are already building in her eyes as he
pierces her with a look of total disgust.

“Fuck you, Mya,” he growls at her and a sob retches from
her.

“Don’t talk to her like that, man. This wasn’t her
fault.”

His eyes snap to me and before I can react his fist
connects with my jaw, sending me to the floor. “Don’t you fucking dare tell me
how to treat women, or a friend. You deserve a lot fucking more than that so
you stay well clear of me. Do you hear me?”

Licking the blood that coats my lip I nod up at him
knowing I’m getting off lightly. The last thing I want to do is brawl with him.

“And that goes for you too,” he spits back at Mya.

“Adam,” she whimpers. “Adam, please wait. Let me explain.”

But he doesn’t even look back at us.

“Thanks a lot for that, DJ. Have you heard from Terrie?”
Mya sobs at me.

“No, why?”

“She’s at the hospital, she lost the baby, DJ,” she tells
me before turning and leaving me still on the floor.

She lost the baby?

The end - for now!