Authors: Shantel Tessier
Copyright © 2013 by Shantel Tessier
All rights reserved.
Editing by Jennifer Roberts-Hall
Cover design by Sarah Hansen of
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the
written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places,
and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used
fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or
locales is entirely coincidental.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
I want to dedicate this book to all of my friends and family. Thank you
for all of your support and love.
Not able to
be endured or tolerated
I lie awake looking at the
only colorless surface in this room: the ceiling. I have an arm wrapped around
Angel, and my other arm is resting against the pillow above my head. I can’t
seem to stay asleep, and it’s not from lack of being tired. I’m fucking
exhausted. As soon as I close my eyes, she moves or makes some little noise
that makes me think she is going to wake up. She’s restless, and it’s driving
me crazy. I know she is having a hard time with everything that has happened
since her mother called. All I can do is hold her tight and let her feel me, so
she knows I’m here for her.
I’ve stayed as still as I possibly can. My arm
actually went numb hours ago, but I don’t dare move it, in fear of waking her.
The lack of feeling in my arm is nothing compared to what I feel when I see
tears run down her face. They fucking kill me, knowing I can’t do anything to
stop them. Her mother is gone and left behind a ton of unanswered questions.
Nothing I can say or do will help her with that.
After she told me she loved me, I held her in my
arms until she fell asleep. She once again cried into my chest, and there was a
point when I could no longer tell if the tears were from the loss of her mother
or the fact that she finally told me how she felt. I couldn’t even keep count
of how many times I told her I loved her. It was all I could say, but it didn’t
matter, not even those words had calmed her.
My entire body stiffens as I hear my phone ringing
again. That’s about the tenth time since she’s fallen asleep. Thank God the
sound is muffled from being inside the pocket of my jeans, lying on the floor.
She has slept through all of them because I haven’t felt like getting up and
letting go of her. Whoever it is, I will call them later.
I can’t decide if this breakthrough she had was
good or bad. I mean, I’ve known for a while that she loves me, and that she was
just scared to admit it. Now there’s not a doubt in my mind, but I wonder if
she only told me because her mom passed? She lost someone she loved. I hope she
didn’t feel pressured to say she loved me. I hope that she wasn’t thinking I was
going to leave her as well. I was telling her the truth when I said I would
have waited a lifetime to hear those words from her. Not one person or thing
could take me away from her.
I hear the front door open and close, followed by a
car start up. Courtney must have decided to go on home. I never did go back
downstairs after I brought Angel her soup. Soup that she didn’t even touch.
I bring my arm from above my head and wrap it
around her small body, pulling her tighter to me. Closing my eyes, I try to
think about getting some sleep. I’m going to need the rest. I have a feeling
today will be a long day for Angel, making arrangements for her mom’s funeral.
I move ever so slightly, turning onto my side and taking in a deep breath. I
snuggle into her, holding her close against me, the scent of strawberries filling
I hear a few hushed voices
coming from downstairs as I open my eyes. It’s still dark in the bedroom, but through
her window, I can see that the sun is starting to shine. I look down and Angel
is still sleeping. Trying my luck, I pull out from under her as slowly as
possible, stand, and grab my clothes.
Once dressed, I pull my phone out of my pocket and notice
there are fifteen missed calls and over twenty texts. Who the fuck could have
called me that much? I scroll through and notice it was mainly my mom and Holly,
a few from my brother and Josh. Opening a couple of messages, I see they all
contain their worries about Angel. I haven’t called a single person since Josh
informed me that her mother had passed, and that Angel was here in Tulsa. I
also forgot that she busted her phone, which must be the reason everyone is
blowing up mine. I need to add that to my to-do list for today.
I leave the room quietly so I don’t wake her and walk
down the hallway to the stairs. As I get to the main floor, I hear a familiar
voice. I shake my head. There is no way that my mother is here.
I take off towards the kitchen and come to a halt.
“What are all of you guys doing here?” I say, eyes
darting from my dad to Micah, then to Holly and my mother.
“We came for Sam.”
I turn to look at the table. I didn’t even notice Josh
sitting there with Courtney on his lap.
“Good morning, hun,” my mother greets, ignoring my
She walks around the kitchen and gives me a hug.
“Is Samantha sleeping?” she asks as she pulls away.
I nod my head. “How did you guys get here?” I wonder
aloud, still astonished that they are all standing in Marie’s kitchen.
“Well, we have been calling and texting you.” My mom
places a hand on her hip. “But you have been ignoring us.”
“I wasn’t ignoring you.” I run a hand over my hair.
“I was trying—”
“It’s okay, we understand,” Holly tells me sadly.
“We were able to get a hold of Courtney and she came to the airport to pick us
“How long are you guys staying?” My days have been
all bunched together and it takes me a few seconds to figure out it is
“We are staying until Saturday,” my dad answers as
he takes a sip of his coffee. “We have a late flight out that night.”
“Saturday? How are you guys missing that much
My father shrugs. “We wanted to be here for
Samantha. I have someone covering the office. Work will be there for us when we
I stand there watching him in a daze. My dad never
misses work. I don’t think the man has ever even taken a sick day. “Well thank
you, I know she will appreciate it.”
“Do you know her plans for her mother?” my mom asks
as she goes back to frying some bacon.
I walk over to the table and sit across from Josh
and Courtney. “No, she hasn’t told me anything yet. I still don’t know how she
even found out.” I rub a hand over my stubble. The past twenty-four hours have
been crazy. I haven’t even had a chance to shave.
“Well, someone must have called her. You could
check her phone,” Micah suggests as he eats chocolate chip cookies out of a
polka dotted cookie jar.
“No, I can’t. She broke her phone when she threw
“Poor Samantha,” my mom says, laying down a plate
of bacon in front of me.
Josh and I both grab a piece and we start stuffing
our mouths. “Yeah, I should probably go wake her. See if she’s hungry. She
didn’t eat dinner last night.”
I shove another piece of bacon in my mouth as I get
up from the table. I walk up the stairs and enter her bedroom. Ambling over to
the bed, I pull the covers back and lie down next to her.
“Angel.” I rub her bare shoulder with my hand.
She shifts her body a little bit, trying to wake
up. “Angel,” I whisper next to her ear.
“Are you hungry, baby?” I ask, bending down to kiss
“No,” she mumbles.
“You need to eat something,” I encourage.
She rolls over to face me but leaves her eyes
closed. She drapes her arm over my side and her eyes spring open, giving me a
breathtaking view of their bright green intensity.
“Why are you dressed?” She frowns.
I push some brown strands of hair off her face.
“Because it’s daytime.”
“Get up, get undressed and then lie back down with
me.” She smiles.
I’m having trouble gauging her mood. She seems
generally happy and I hate to admit that it confuses me. That was the last
thing I expected her to feel after the way she slept. Is this because of the
step we took last night or because reality of her mother hasn’t hit yet? Less
than 24 hours ago, she had a breakdown in my arms. So why does she seem so
I lift my hand and run my fingers through her soft
hair, it’s still damp from the bath I gave her before bed. “Are you okay?”
Her smile drops off her face. “Yes,” she answers quietly.
“Angel, you can talk to me.” I brush my hand over
She shakes her head. “I’m okay, Slade,” she says
firmly as her green eyes stare into mine. “I promise. I just want to lie in bed
with you all day. Just you and me. Alone. Naked.” She bites her bottom lip
seductively as her hand makes its way down the covers. I hiss in a long breath
as she presses her palm against my zipper. I feel my dick getting hard but I
fight to ignore it.
“Angel, I don’t think—”
“Please Slade,” she urges.
I search her features for a few seconds. The closer
I look at her the more I think she is about to start crying. She’s trying to
smile and look happy, but I know her too well. Her green eyes look shiny, and
they have a lost look to them. Like maybe she’s grasping at straws to stay
sane. I hear the soft sound of my zipper before I feel her hand seek out my
I lose all self-control at the feel of her soft
hand wrapped around me. I pull away, leaning up, and take my shirt off. I lay
back down beside her as I lift my hips, sliding my jeans and boxers down my
“See, isn’t this better?” She drags her hand up
over my chest as I settle myself on top of her and look down.
“This is perfect,” I whisper as I lean my head down
She closes her eyes for a second and it brings me a
moment of clarity. What the fuck am I doing on top of her naked? Didn’t I just
tell myself this was not a good idea? While I’m trying to gauge her emotions,
she slides her hand between us and grabs my cock roughly. I have to hold back
another moan, fuck she drives me crazy. I just want to flip her over, putting her
ass in the air, and grab a handful of her hair. I want to hear her gasps and
whimpers. I want so badly to slip my fingers into her and see how wet she is
for me. Just to see if she really wants to fuck.
As I continue with my mental battle, she starts to
rub my cock against her pussy. I can’t take it anymore. I reach down, taking
her hands away, and then pin them both beside her head.
I swallow as I feel a small line of sweat form on
my forehead. Fuck, I love the way her body feels under me, especially when I
know she is pinned down and at my mercy. “We really shouldn’t.” My voice is
I’ve always known that Angel is strong, but she’s
only that way because she thinks that’s how she needs to be. I feel like we are
back to when we first met, and I wanted her to open up to me. I need her to be
herself with me, to let her guard down. I don’t want her to think that I’m only
with her for sex. Even though I enjoy showing her how much I love her
physically, it’s not the only reason why I am with her. I’m going to stand by
her side and hold her hand for as long as she needs me to.
“Is this a test?” Her voice gets my attention and she
lifts an eyebrow. “You want to see how well I can beg?”
Fuck! Please don’t beg.
She licks her lips and I tighten my hold on her
wrists, trying to keep my control. “Please, Slade. I need you.”
She has told me that before, but the only time I can
remember right now is when she sat on the end of this bed with tears rolling
down her face. That’s the only thing missing right now: tears. It’s like a
nightmare that keeps playing through my mind on repeat.
“Angel—” I’m about to tell her no, when she arches
her back and leans her head back.
“Slade,” she pleads, “I need you to fuck me.”
I have always had one weakness, my dick! Then I met
Angel. Put the two together and I’m just fucked! I’m a child who is being
offered the sweetest candy in the world. How can I say no to that? I’ve never
been good with temptation.
I lean down and kiss her neck, eliciting a moan. I
let go of her wrists and tangle my hands in her hair, tugging her neck back
even further. I want to hear her scream like I know she can. She whimpers as I
pull her head to the side and nibble my way up to her ear.
“What do you want, Angel?” I rasp into her ear,
making her shiver.
“You. I want you inside of me.”