When They Weren't Looking: Wardham Book #3 (20 page)

“You don’t need to tell me anything you don’t want to.” Again, his unspoken addendum was all over his face. He wanted to be a part of her private life.

Well, this would be a good test if he could handle it. “Our sex life was…dysfunctional. And there were jealousy issues. Eventually, I got tired of being a wife in name only.”

“He cheated on you?”

She blinked in surprise. “Actually, no, I really doubt that he did. If he had, it would have been easier.”

“So what were you jealous about?”

“Ha. No, it wasn’t me that was jealous. It was Dale, which was ironic, because he didn’t really want to have sex with me, but he was convinced other people did. One particular person.” Liam notched an eyebrow in silent question. Evie ripped off the bandaid. “My first really serious boyfriend, Evan. Evan West. You’ll probably meet him at some point.”

“Ty’s brother and business partner?” Liam made an appraising face. “Yeah, I could see how Dale would be jealous of him.”

“We’re still friends. Not super close, but there’s a bond there…” She didn’t look over at Liam, didn’t want to see how he was reacting. Didn’t want to chicken out. This had been a crack in the foundation of her marriage, and she wouldn’t let it be an issue in a relationship again. Wouldn’t have a relationship where it would be an issue. “I made the mistake of telling Dale some details of our relationship that he couldn’t get over. Things we’d done together.” Her voice wavered, but she kept going. “Sexual things. And even though it’s been a lifetime since, and Evan’s come out of the closet—”

“Evan’s gay?”

“Yes.”

Liam slowed the car down and pulled off to the shoulder. He pressed a hand to her arm and Evie turned, looking first at his hand, then slowly lifted her gaze to meet his. “Your ex was jealous of someone you had sex with in the past, who now only has sex with men?”

She winced. “I may have told Dale that I suspected Evan still had the occasional fling with women.”

“Oh.” At least he didn’t look disgusted. “Why did you tell him that?”

“Because he was my husband? And I thought I could safely tell him anything. Besides, they were just off-the-cuff comments. But he hung on to them, stewed over them for years, and his doubt festered between us until there was nothing else left.”

“Has Evan ever hinted at still being interested in you?”

She shook her head fiercely. “No. He’s definitely not. For one thing, he knows I’m a relationship type of woman, and he’s pretty allergic to that variety of estrogen. For another, we’ve been there, and got the t-shirt. There’s nothing left but platonic affection between us. He’s more like a brother than anything else to me now.”

“Evie, I haven’t known you that long, and you don’t owe me any reassurances in that area, but your ex is an idiot if he didn’t trust you.” Liam reached up and stroked her cheek. “I’d be jealous of him, too—Evan’s far too good looking for his own good—but I’d never in million years doubt your word.” He cleared his throat and turned his attention back to the road.

A few kilometers down the highway, he glanced over slyly. “I gotta admit, I’m curious about what you did with him.”

She could feel herself blushing. “What if I told you he was into the whole adult baby thing, and I changed his diaper?”

He laughed. “A threesome would be hotter.”

“Well, then, I guess what we did was hotter.” Her cheeks flamed as she stared straight out the front window.

“Yeah?” She didn’t dare turn and look at him, but the warm curiosity in his voice gave her hope. “That your idea or his?”

“Definitely his.” She bit her lip. “I don’t like to share.”

“Dale know that?”

She nodded.

“That man is a fucking idiot.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Liam had been rolling the conversation with Evie around in his head for weeks. She’d been mortified to share her history with Evan. Liam had wanted to ask more about her threesome, because damn, that was hot, but he didn’t want to scare her off. Evie had many sides, and only a few were anything less than pure and clean. Not that he was overly kinky or anything, but he liked sex, a lot, and appreciated women who did as well. The Evie he’d met in Toronto was totally comfortable with her wants and desires. He was starting to understand that healthy sexuality had the limit of only outside Wardham.

A ridiculous limit that Liam would do his best to show her was unnecessary. In a strange, backwards way, they were building something between them, something permanent and special. But it couldn’t be hurried. He might strangle his dick before Evie came around, but he’d wait.

Wait, and think about Evie, plastered between two sweaty bodies. Two men? A man and a woman? Either image made him hard as rocks. He couldn’t deny that there was a tinge of jealousy in there, but neither of them were coming into this relationship as virgins. And she’d had one wicked experience, more than a decade ago, and spent the intervening years feeling guilty for something that probably blew her mind at the time. At least, he hoped it did. God, if it didn’t, he’d have to kill Evan.

Liam did some math, then chuckled to himself. When Evie was dating Evan, he would’ve been too young to even be on her radar. Yeah, jealousy would be misplaced.

Now he just needed to keep some perspective. Just because she’d shared a private piece of herself didn’t mean they’d made much progress. And now wasn’t the time to put the pressure on. With all that was going on with Max, he needed to step back. Let Evie have some breathing room, to process everything. To see he wasn’t going anywhere, but he wasn’t going to push, either. Because she’d made it crystal clear that there wasn’t going to be a relationship between them for a while. Not formally. Not intimately. In a different place and time, their connection would lead to something deeper, and they’d create a few fantasy memories of their own.

Jesus, they’d already done that in a single night.

But Evie’s life, right here and now, couldn’t accommodate Liam as anything other than father-to-be. He should be grateful she was as open as she could be on that front.
Was
grateful. Really.

He’d been playing it cool for three weeks, while she got settled in a new routine with Max at home, school and at Dale’s house. That last point was especially tough for Evie, trusting her ex-husband to monitor Max’s blood sugar levels as closely as she did. The first night the boys spent at their dad’s, Liam had almost gotten in his car three times to go to her.

But that wasn’t what she wanted. She could ask. He’d made it clear he’d be whatever she needed, whenever she needed it. And she wanted him to be a friend, a co-parent, and nothing more.

The
nothing more
was going to be a challenge today.

He pulled up in front of her house, not bothering to turn into the drive because she was already trotting down the steps. They were both excited. It was time for the twenty-week anatomy scan ultrasound, and Evie had it on good authority that the clinic they were going to would show them the goods, so to speak.

“You ready to meet your baby?” Evie hopped into his SUV, grinning from ear to ear.

He laughed and resisted the urge to reach across the center console and pat her belly. “You betcha.”

At the clinic in Essex, Evie was escorted back to an exam room first. She’d warned him about this, how the tech would take all the pictures first before inviting any support people back to have a look. Forty minutes slowly twisted past, his nervous energy ramping up with each passing tick of the clock. There were a few other people in the waiting room, but no one made eye contact. He pulled out his cell phone for a bit, but he couldn’t concentrate on his stock reports or any emails he was drafting. He picked up a prenatal magazine, but nothing in it was new information.

By the time the technician popped her head out into the waiting room and called his name, he was a ball of tension. Good, excited tension. Stressed, worried tension. A small taste of parenthood, probably.

Inside the room, Evie was all smiles.
All good?
He mouthed the question at her, and she nodded. The tech pointed to a chair next to Evie’s head. “Dad, you can have a seat there.” She swiveled a screen in their direction, immune to the impact her casual use of the title had on him.
Holy shit
. “Okay, Mom here says you would like to know the gender, is that right?”

He bobbed his head. Words were impossible right now, as the grey blur on the screen shifted and re-focused on a face.

A face. With a delicate nose, and a round forehead, a wiggling chin and moving lips.

He leaned in, only vaguely aware that he was crowding Evie. From the slight tilt of her forehead, pressing into his cheek, she didn’t mind.

“Here’s the profile, and if we wait just a minute…yes, there we go. That’s your baby, sucking on its thumb.”

Evie’s hand found his and squeezed. “Wonderful, isn’t it?” she whispered.

He nodded, and didn’t give a damn that his eyes felt suspiciously wet.

The tech showed them the major organs, and helped them count ten toes. They tried to count fingers, but that tiny little fist next to the even tinier little mouth wouldn’t budge.

And then it was time for the big reveal. “Here are the legs,” the tech said. “And if baby shifts just a little, there we go…”

“What are we looking for?” Evie asked.

“Well, with this one, it’s what we’re looking for and not seeing.” The tech smiled. “Remember that this isn’t one hundred percent, but this baby looks like a girl.”

A girl
. Damn, now those wet eyes were leaking. Liam cleared his throat. “We’re having a daughter?”

“Looks like it. The radiologist will have a look at the pictures I took earlier and confirm with your doctor or midwife.”

“Can we have a picture to take home? Of her face, maybe?”

“Of course. I’ll print you a couple.” She flipped to a different screen of saved images and selected a few, which scrolled out of a small printer in short order. “We also have a DVD available for fifteen dollars, if you are interested.”

He already had his credit card out of his wallet. The tech laughed and told him he could pay at the reception.

A girl. Evie couldn’t quite believe it. She rubbed her tummy as Liam collected their DVD, then leaned against his shoulder as he guided her back out into the bright October afternoon. The leaves, in full autumnal splendour, provided a colourful backdrop that echoed the joy in her heart quite perfectly.

“Oh, Liam, that was amazing!” she said, twirling twice on the sidewalk as they headed back to his car. “And the boys are going to have a little sister!”

He grinned. “You wanna talk about names?”

“Mmmm, maybe.” She threw her hands into the air and hooted. “I’m having a girl!”

She would have been happy either way. Boys were what she knew, and another brother would have been fun, especially for Max. But there was something about a little girl, the future promise of mother/daughter outings and secret sharing. Evie had a wonderful relationship with her own mother and sister, and she looked forward to building that female bond with this little one. “You, sir, are brilliant.” She was being silly and giddy, and didn’t care. “A DVD! I never would have shelled out the money for it, but now we can watch it over and over again.”

His grin softened to an indulgent smile, and her heart ached for how complicated she’d made everything. “That’s the plan, sunshine.”

“Liam…” She stepped closer, and his smile dropped, but the warmth in his eyes didn’t budge. She licked her lips. “We made a little girl.”

“We did.” His voice, rough and raw, tore the last shred of her self-consciousness to bits, and she pressed her body into his. He wrapped his arms around her waist, tipping her back slightly to make room for her belly against his lean, strong middle.

“Your life has changed so much,” she whispered, afraid her voice might crack if she spoke any louder.

“You think today isn’t worth all of that?” He shook his head, his face solemn. He didn’t look like a Boy Wonder any more. Hadn’t for a while, she realized. When did that happen? How did she miss it?

“I don’t know.” She didn’t know what was in his past, actually. That hopping thought led her into a warren of worries, though, and today wasn’t the day for worries. She stretched onto the tips of her toes, and though he froze for a second, Liam let her brush her lips across his.

What was it about this baby that made her want to kiss him? What was it about herself that drew the line there? She was an idiot. The arms that held her shook with restraint. The lips that kissed her promised the world. And she’d pushed him away. No more of that. She slid the tip of her tongue across his lower lip, and with a groan, he let her in. She poured everything she wanted to say into an eager kiss, long and sweet and deep, and it wasn’t long before those strong arms had twisted up and down her back, one tangled in her hair, the other curved dangerously low on her hip.

Another groan, this one a bittersweet acknowledgment that they should stop while they were still decent. Liam eased her away from his body, but not too far. He tightened his grip on the back of her neck for just a moment, then pulled her face into his chest.