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Authors: James Kelman

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BOOK: A Chancer
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Directly. How? D’you fancy your chances?

Eh . . .

Have you ever sat down before like?

Naw, no in here. I used to play at work sometimes – plus with the mates and that.

Aye but it’s not quite the same thing son. And it’s stud they play here as well remember.

I know.

Mm. Joe nodded, then indicated his wristwatch. Okay, well, if you are wanting a seat you better be smartly out the boxes cause there might be a rush! Joe had risen from his seat while talking
and as he turned to leave he added: By the way, what age are you?

What age? Me?

Aye.

Tammas nodded. Twenty two.

Twenty two. Aye, that’s about what I thought you’d be. Joe smiled.

Once he had gone Tammas got up and purchased a cup of coffee. He opened the cigarette packet, thumbed through the newspaper. About five minutes later Vi appeared in the doorway. He watched her
approach. She was showing him something in her right hand – a big pile of casino chips, which she placed untidily on the table in front of him. Count them for me, she said.

He did so immediately. Twenty one quid. Christ sake Vi you’ve done great. Much did you start with?

She shrugged. It’s all winnings. Plus I gave Milly five pounds.

Hh. Christ! He grinned, then pushed the coffee towards her: I just got this for myself but I’m no really thirsty.

Neither am I.

Aw. He nodded, took two cigarettes out and gave one to her; he struck a match and she leaned to take a light from its flame. And she asked: Did you get home alright the other time?

The other time?

You were away so bloody fast! I didnt even know if you had enough for a taxi.

I did. Hey d’you fancy something to eat?

I’m no hungry at all. You do if you want but, you get something.

I’m no bothering. But I mean if you wanted something . . . He shrugged.

I dont, thanks.

Mm. He sniffed, dragged on the cigarette and exhaled at the floor.

Are you playing poker the night?

Ah I’m no sure.

Joe says you carry a bit of luck.

Does he?

Aye.

Honest?

Vi nodded. She lifted her handbag onto her lap and opened it, and footered with something inside.

Actually I was going to play – give it a try anyway.

He says it’s quite hard, Joe – a lot of good players.

Hh.

It’ll be right if Joe says it.

O aye I know, I wasnt meaning that I just – it doesnt really matter if I go skint, I’m no really worried.

Vi looked at him.

He sniffed, inhaled on his cigarette. What I mean is that I’ve got enough to lose without worrying about it.

She shrugged slightly, gazed back down into her handbag.

I’m no actually bothered anyway. About playing I mean.

Vi’s cigarette had been smouldering on the edge of the ashtray and when she lifted it a length of grey ash remained behind. She glanced at him and then across at the counter.

D’you fancy going like?

What d’you say?

Tammas shrugged. I was just wondering, whether you fancy just going, just now I mean.

Vi made no answer.

Is that guy Stan with you?

No.

Good then I could see you home. Eh? Eh Vi?

She shrugged.

Can I see you home?

If you like.

•••

With the door unlocked she paused before pushing it open and stepping inside, into a tiny lobby. She waited until he was beside her then put on the light, closed and locked the
door. He followed her into a room; it was a kitchen, with a bed in a wall recess. There were a small table with two wooden chairs, a two-seater settee and a television set on its own legs.

Vi filled a kettle at the sink, switched on the electric cooker and put the kettle on a ring.

On the bed, at the foot of it, sat a big doll and a weer one. Other toys were on the floor to the side of the fireplace. Things belonging to a girl. On the mantelpiece was a photograph of a baby
in a sort of babychair.

Vi had switched on the electric fire and was now preparing two mugs of coffee. Tammas was sitting on the edge of the settee, he turned to say: Does she sleep ben the room? the wee lassie?

Vi frowned. Ben what room! Anyhow, d’you really think I’d leave her by herself while I was away out gallivanting?

He nodded.

She passed him a mug of coffee and came round to sit down on the other side of the settee, putting the mug down on the floor. She kicked off her shoes and reached to massage her toes.
She’s across the landing . . . In with Cathy, my neighbour.

Aw aye.

In fact, I think I better go in and see how she is. Vi pulled a pair of slippers from beneath the settee and she slipped them on. She took a key from the mantelpiece. I’ll just be a
minute.

Fine, aye.

When she had gone he took off his jacket and then took off his shoes, and he lighted a cigarette, stretched his legs so that his feet were just to the front of the fire. Then he nipped the
cigarette into an ashtray. His coffee was untouched. He carried it to the sink and emptied it down the drain. Back on the settee he put a cushion in at the small of his back and he stretched out
once more.

It was nearly half an hour she was gone. He heard the outside door being unlocked, opened, closing and being locked again; all very quietly. Vi entered. He had his eyelids shut and he did not
move. She waited by the door for a long time. She came forwards, very quietly. Another few seconds and she began humming a tune, began moving about the room. On two occasions he was aware of a
breeze when she passed close bye, her skirt perhaps.

Then the click of the light switch and he opened his eyelids. He could hear her undressing behind the settee. And then the mattress jolting. And after she had settled he listened to her
breathing, irregular at first.

When he awakened he felt really stiff, his shoulders and neck and legs all cramped. And he had been lying on his cigarette packet. He leaned to turn off the electric fire,
sitting until the bars stopped glowing. He lifted the half cigarette from the ashtray and found his matches on the floor. He did not smoke it. He knelt on the floor and stared across at the bed.
Vi’s shape was easily recognisable though he could not hear her breathing. He stood up.

She was on her back, and the shape of her breasts, rise falling pause, rise falling pause. She lay close in to the wall. After a moment he returned to between the fire and the settee and he took
off his clothes but left on his underpants. At the bedside he raised the blankets and the sheet very carefully, very slowly, until there was enough space for him to climb inside. He lay on his back
close to the edge without moving for a period, gradually inclining his head in her direction, becoming more aware of her warmth, a smell of perfume or soap. Then he turned a little, to touch her
shoulder with his left hand, the material of her nightdress nudging his forefingernail.

He watched her and listened but except for her breathing there was neither sound nor movement. She was asleep. He kept on watching her.

The next he woke up the kettle was boiling, whistling; and the smell of bread toasting beneath the grill. He lay in the same position as he had awakened, watching her. She did
not notice. He continued to watch her for a wee while then he said, Hullo Vi. And he raised himself up to rest on his elbows.

She poked her tongue out at him, turned to check the toast. He grinned and got out of bed. About time too, she said and she glanced at him, and glanced away immediately. He had an erection. He
coughed and grabbed his trousers, pulled them on at once and went ben the lavatory. He pissed eventually but got another erection. After a moment he took out the wad of notes from his hip pocket
and he counted it, studied the numbers of each one.

When he returned to the kitchen she was sitting on the settee munching a slice of toast. Yours is under the grill, she told him. Tea’s in the pot – unless you want a coffee . . .

Doesnt matter, thanks; tea’s great. He lifted his shirt from the wooden chair and took it with him to the sink. He washed his hands and face and neck. There was a mirror to the side. When
he glanced in it he saw Vi looking at him. Then she looked away. He smoothed his hair down with his hands. What time is it? he asked.

Ten, about.

Is that all. That’s good. He had turned to the oven, bending slightly to pull out the grill-pan. It made a sort of grating noise.

Vi smiled at him for a moment then she looked at the fire.

He put the toast back down. He stepped towards her and he took both of her hands in his and leaned to her but she rose from the settee. They put their arms round each other, clinging together,
then he kissed her neck, and upwards to the lobe of her ear, and she moved her head a little, till they were kissing each other’s lips; then they broke away and clung with their arms round
each other again and Vi chuckled.

Vi, he said. He sighed and lifted her up off the floor, walked forwards still holding her.

Put me down, she said and she had to raise her feet to avoid kicking something.

He laughed but continued towards the recess and as she toppled onto the bed he went with her, landing almost on top of her and they were kissing again. She arched her back from him when he
attempted to unloosen the strap of her bra but tugged her jumper back down when he pulled it up. She pushed him from her and he stood down. It’s okay, she said. Just . . . we’ll go into
bed first.

Aw, Christ. He shook his head and turned away. She had begun to tug the jumper over her head, the bra cups lying half off her breasts.

I dont mind you looking, she muttered.

He shook his head. Then he glanced at her.

•••

The Art Gallery & Museum would not be opening for another hour. They walked on round the building and along behind the bowling green, across Kelvin Way and into the park.
They walked down by the river. The trees were bare and the river was quite swollen. Keeps the smell down, said Tammas. Gets hell of a pongy in the summer. Hey, come on up the duck pond and
I’ll show you the rats!

Vi laughed.

The child’s name was Kirsty. When they arrived at the pond Tammas lifted her down from Vi’s arms and he held her so that she was sitting on the bevelled railing surrounding the bank
of the pond. He squatted next to her, pointing at the island: Under the bushes there Kirsty, just watch under the bushes, just at the edge. You as well Vi.

I cant see a thing. Apart from the ducks!

Patience, patience . . . He continued to squat, balancing the girl with one hand while pointing out to the bushes. Then there was movement and he whispered, See it? the bush shaking . . .

Where?

At the edge, just keep watching.

I cant see anything. Eh Kirsty? can you? Can you see anything?

The girl made no response, but she gazed in the direction of the island.

Definitely rats there, said Tammas.

At that moment about half a dozen birds flew down to settle on the pond.

Tammas said, Should’ve brought some bread with us Vi, the wee lassie would’ve liked to feed them. And the ducks as well right enough. Hey . . . Look . . . Now, the bushes.

Vi moved closer to him, her gaze going with the direction he was pointing in. She shook her head.

O Christ, he said, Vi – you cant miss it! Biggest I’ve seen for years! Big grey yin! See it? Look! Kirsty, Kirsty, can you see it? Can you see it? the big rat? O Christ, a
beauty.

I cant see a thing . . .

After a moment Tammas said, It’s away. He stood up, lifted the girl from the railing and returned her to Vi.

I think you were seeing things.

Naw, you kidding! You wouldnt’ve missed it either if you’d been looking properly.

What d’you mean looking properly? I was looking properly. I was looking properly for the past ten minutes and I’m bloody freezing!

Ach . . . Doesnt matter. Come on, we’ll go to the swing park – eh Kirsty? want a shot on the swings? He lifted her back from Vi again and attempted to raise her so that she could sit
on his shoulders but she kicked with her feet and he had to duck and then land her on the ground.

Vi took the girl by the hand. Sometimes she’s a bit funny. And I dont think she likes being up high either.

Tammas nodded. Okay Kirsty? He winked at her, stepped round the way so that he was walking with the girl inbetween himself and Vi; and gradually he took her by the hand. When they reached the
swing park he stood behind one of the swings while Vi sat the girl down on it, fixing her hands to grip onto the iron chains which were attached from the swing to the cross section above. He
lighted a cigarette and gave it to Vi, lighted one for himself. This is great, he said.

She raised her eyebrows at him.

Naw, honest.

Dont be daft.

Naw, I mean it Vi; it’s the best day I’ve had for years.

She looked at him.

He smiled briefly. If you had seen the rat right enough, that would’ve topped it. He shook his head and glanced away from her, inhaled deeply and blew the smoke away over his shoulder.

Kirsty said: Mum . . . And she withdrew her hands from the chains, holding them out to Vi who lifted her off immediately.

The shute, said Tammas. Fancy it?

Vi shrugged, she was holding the girl so that her back was to him.

Think she fancies it?

Ask her and see.

Tammas walked round the back of Vi and he winked at Kirsty. Fancy a shot on the shute?

I think it’ll be too damp, said Vi, after a moment.

Mm.

No think so yourself?

He shrugged. Suppose it will be.

Vi smiled. We’ll go to the Art Gallery. She cuddled the girl and murmured. Eh Kirsty? will we go to the Art Gallery? get nice and warm!

You’d think it was cold to hear you.

Cold! God! It’s bloody December! And I dont know how you survive with just that daft jacket! Vi shook her head and she turned and walked off in the direction of the Art Gallery.

Naw, he said, hey! Hey Vi – mon we’ll go to the cafe across the road!

BOOK: A Chancer
7.48Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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