A Soldier's Promise (Crystal Lake Series Book 2) (16 page)

“Is there anything I can do?” she asked softly.

“Not really.” Derek didn’t show any signs of discomfort from his ribs as he carried Lexi back toward his side of the townhouse. “I guess we’ll spend the night here, if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course it’s okay,” she responded. “It’s too late to do anything more tonight, anyway.”

“Thanks.” He gave her a brief nod before disappearing inside.

Julie walked into her kitchen more slowly, wishing there was some way to convince Derek to face Lexi’s grandparents. She understood that they were prominent members of the community, but surely a biological father had rights, too? She’d be more than happy to testify on his behalf if needed. Maybe she was being overly optimistic about his chances, but certainly he needed to try. Why couldn’t he see that running away would only make things worse?

She went into the bathroom to wash up and then changed into a pair of comfy sweats, considering the air outside had turned a bit cool. She was too distracted to sleep, however, so she went back into the kitchen to make a cup of herbal tea to help her relax.

The plate of grilled pork chops and green beans Derek had thoughtfully left for her was still on the counter, but she wasn’t a bit hungry. Just the thought of food made her stomach roll with nausea.

A shadow outside on the patio caught her eye. She froze but then relaxed when she realized Derek was sitting outside in the darkness, holding his head in his hands.

She told herself not to go outside, that Derek needed to work this through on his own. But her silent lecture didn’t do any good. In less than two minutes, she found herself quietly sliding open the patio door and stepping outside.

He didn’t look up when she approached, either, because he hadn’t heard her or because he wanted to be alone.

Yet she couldn’t just leave him out here. “Hey. Are you okay?” she asked, dropping into a chair beside him.

He lifted his head, but she couldn’t read his expression in the darkness. “I’ve never been so scared,” he murmured. “If anything had happened to her, I would have never forgiven myself.”

“I know.” She ached to comfort him. “But Lexi’s okay.”

“She’s not okay,” Derek muttered. “This has been rough on her.”

There wasn’t much she could say to that. “I’m sorry,” she said helplessly.

He shook his head. “I’ve been sitting here praying for guidance, but so far the only answer seems to be to do what you suggested—go back to St. Louis and face Claire’s parents.”

Her heart filled with hope. “God knows what’s best.”

“I’m surprised He’s listening to me,” Derek confessed softly. “After everything that happened with Claire and the Afghani soldiers I’ve killed...” His voice trailed off.

“Derek, God is always there for us, especially during those times we need Him the most.” She could only imagine what horrors he’d lived through in Afghanistan, and she understood a little better why he’d resisted going to church. “God would never turn against you. But maybe you gave up on Him?”

He let out a heavy sigh. “Maybe. It’s hard to hang on to faith when you’re watching your men dying around you. The Bible teaches us to turn the other cheek, but instead we’re sent out there to kill the enemy. There were times I looked down at my hands and could only see the blood of the lives I’d taken.”

She put her arm around his shoulders and gave him a hug. “Derek, I’m sorry you had to go through all that. But you need to know, God is still there for you. All you have to do is believe.”

“You’ve helped remind me about that,” he admitted. “I guess I’ve been lost for a while now.”

“Or maybe you weren’t lost at all. It could be that God intended for you to come here all along,” she pointed out. “God often takes matters into His own hands.”

The moonlight revealed a ghost of a smile. “You could be right about that.”

She gave him another quick hug. “So does this mean you’re going to head back to St. Louis?”

The smile faded. “Yes, but I don’t know if facing Claire’s parents will do any good.” He abruptly pulled away and rose to his feet, pacing the small length of the patio. “What if I lose Lexi? I can’t imagine a life without my daughter. She’s all I have left in the world.”

“They can’t take her completely away,” she reasoned, trying to use logic to cut through his fear. “You would still have some rights.”

He let out a harsh sound. “What, visits every other weekend? While she struggles in that ridiculous school they forced on her? No, I can’t do that. I won’t do that.”

She understood his angst. What Claire’s parents were doing was so wrong, there just had to be a way to get through to them. “What can I do to help?” she asked. “There has to be a way to ensure that you don’t lose custody of your daughter.”

“I wish I knew,” he said with a heavy sigh. He tipped his head back to gaze up at the stars. “I know I need to leave this in God’s hands, but it isn’t easy. She’s my whole life.”

There was a tiny part of her that wished she was part of his life, too. But of course, his daughter had to come first. “I’d like to come with you,” she offered tentatively. She rose to walk over to his side. “You don’t have to do this alone. Maybe I can help make Claire’s parents see what a great father you’ve been. I’d even testify in court if necessary.”

He went still, looking down at her. She wished she could see the expression in his eyes. “Julie, you’ve already given us so much, I can’t possibly accept anything more. It’s not right for me to take advantage of you.”

“That’s Zack talking,” she said with a scowl. “I bet he’s the one who said that to you, right?”

Derek shrugged, which was answer enough.

“Why can’t you believe that I care about you and Lexi?” she asked. “I can’t stand the thought of the court system tearing you apart.”

“I don’t deserve someone like you,” he murmured. And when he reached out to draw her close, she didn’t resist but went willingly into his arms.

He tipped her face up to kiss her, and she reveled in the gentle sweep of his mouth against hers. Their first kiss had been an accident, but this time, she knew he meant to kiss her.

And she absolutely meant to kiss him back.

All too soon, he broke off the kiss, tilting his head back and taking several deep breaths, and she smiled when she felt the racing beat of his heart. “I think it’s time for me to go,” he said huskily.

She buried her face against his chest, holding on to him for a moment longer, wishing she didn’t have to let go. But since they couldn’t stand here like this all night, she forced herself to take a step back. “All right,” she agreed reluctantly, trying to smile. “But you didn’t answer my question.”

“What question?” he asked wryly. “Apparently, my mind turns to mush around you.”

She had to laugh. “About whether or not you’ll let me come with you to St. Louis. I’m off tomorrow and can probably switch shifts for Thursday, too. If you’d like some moral support.”

He was quiet for so long she thought he was going to insist on going alone. “I’d like that,” he finally said softly. “If you’re absolutely sure about going along.”

“I’m sure.” She hoped her relief wasn’t too evident. “Goodnight, Derek.”

“Goodnight, Julie.”

She went inside to get ready for bed, thinking that she was already far too emotionally involved with Derek and Lexi.

What if he did succeed in maintaining custody of his daughter? He might decide to stay in St. Louis to be near Lexi’s grandparents. They might even work out some sort of arrangement where Lexi would stay with her grandparents before and after school, which would help Derek out when he found a job.

She didn’t have a right to be sad, but she couldn’t ignore the distinct impression that helping Derek would only take him and Lexi away from her forever.

Leaving her alone again.

Chapter Thirteen

Derek negotiated the heavy traffic of St. Louis with dread curling in his stomach. The entire trip had been far from smooth—getting Lexi to agree to get in the car at all had been a major feat in and of itself. She’d only given in when Julie agreed to sit in the backseat with her.

Now that they were close to their destination, tempers were running a big ragged. In the cold light of day, he was second-guessing his decision. He wasn’t even sure what he was going to say to Claire’s parents. Hi, how are you, and how dare you try to take my daughter away from me? Yeah, somehow he didn’t think that line was going to work well for him.

“Maybe this wasn’t a good idea,” he murmured in a low voice, glancing over at Julie seated in the passenger seat. Once they’d stopped for lunch, Lexi had been a little better about letting Julie sit up front with him. “I’m worried about how Claire’s parents are going to react to all of us showing up unannounced on their doorstep.”

Julie reached over and gave his hand a small squeeze. “We can only control our own reactions, not theirs. All we can do is be nice and respectful. At the very least, they’ll know that you’re not giving up easily. Better to know what you’re facing now than to be blindsided in front of the judge.”

He knew she was right and tried to relax his death grip on the steering wheel. St. Louis had its usual snarl of traffic, but thankfully, Lexi’s grandparents lived in one of the ritzy suburbs outside of the city, so he was able to exit off the interstate and get out of the traffic without having to go through the maze of downtown St. Louis.

Despite how he’d tried to rehearse what he was going to say, his mind went blank when he finally pulled into their driveway in front of the massive three-car garage. The mansion where Claire had grown up loomed large and intimidating, and he had to force himself to park Julie’s car and turn off the engine. Any hope that they might not be home fled when the front door opened, revealing the distinguished figure of Claire’s father, Robert Donnell.

Derek shoved open his door at the same time Julie slid out of the passenger seat. Julie opened the back passenger door for Lexi, who climbed down, obviously eager to get out of the constraints of her booster seat.

“Lexi!” Claire’s father called out from the front porch. “Come give your grandpa a hug!”

“Hi, Grandpa,” Lexi called but instead of running over to greet him, she clung to Julie’s hand.

For a moment, he thought he saw a flash of pain cross the older man’s features and felt a surge of sympathy. Derek hastily came around the car and put his hand against Julie’s back, gently leading her forward. “Mr. Donnell, I’d like you to meet Julie Crain. Julie, this is Lexi’s grandfather, Mr. Robert Donnell.”

“It’s so nice to meet you, Mr. Donnell,” Julie said, approaching the house with Lexi trailing along by her side. “Derek has told me so much about you.”

Robert scowled at her, but Julie’s smile never wavered. He had the wild idea that Julie intended to smother the old guy with kindness until he gave in and dropped the custody suit. Julie held out her hand, forcing Mr. Donnell to take it in a brief handshake before he turned his attention to his granddaughter. “Lexi, we’ve missed you so much,” he said, reaching for her.

Lexi shrank back against Julie as if she didn’t have good memories of being with her grandparents. “Can we go home now?” she asked. “I want to go for a boat ride.”

Robert’s eyes narrowed with anger. “You’ve turned my granddaughter against me,” he accused.

“No, of course not. Lexi’s just tired after the long car ride, right, Lexi?” Julie gave his daughter’s shoulders a brief squeeze. “Lexi, it’s not nice to be rude,” she chided gently.

Derek took charge of the deteriorating situation. “Look, Mr. Donnell, I’m sorry to show up uninvited, but we just want a chance to discuss things with you and Mrs. Donnell. Why don’t we sit down for a few minutes? Wouldn’t it be better to talk now than having this conversation in front of the judge?”

“Hrumph,” the older man grunted but reluctantly opened the door for them. “Gladys?” he called back over his shoulder. “Derek brought Lexi back along with his new girlfriend.” There was no mistaking the snide tone in his voice as they stepped into the cool interior of the house.

He caught sight of Julie’s wince and wondered if she resented being referred to as his girlfriend. The idea bothered him, considering he rather liked the label. Their heated kiss has cost him a good night’s sleep, but maybe she regretted the moment of intimacy? Too bad they hadn’t had a chance to talk alone before hitting the road. They certainly hadn’t discussed anything in front of Lexi.

Shaking off his disturbing thoughts, he followed Robert into the formal living room. The one where he always felt as if he had to be extra careful or he might accidently break something.

Claire’s mother hurried in, looking drawn and worried despite her blindingly white linen pants and ruffled blue blouse. She was always dressed to perfection, and today was no different. “Lexi!” she gushed. “Oh, sweetie, we’ve missed you so much!”

Derek had to bite his tongue to prevent himself from pointing out they’d only been gone five days, not five months. But he held his silence as Lexi tolerated a brief hug from her grandmother before wiggling away.

“Mrs. Donnell, this is Julie Crain. She’s an ER nurse working at the Hope County Hospital,” he said, introducing Julie. “Julie, this is Lexi’s grandmother, Mrs. Donnell.”