Acheron Highway: A Jonathan Shade Novel (6 page)

“Coming right up.”

When she left, he shook his head.
 
“She thought I was trying to ask her out.”

“I thought so too.”

He waved me off.
 
“The equipment
ain’t
what it used to be, though the little blue pills certainly help.”
 
He gave me a wink.
 
“I’m trying to find someone for Ryan.”

“Maybe Ryan should find someone for himself.”

“He’s a social retard.”

“Well, there you go.
 
You wanted to talk to me?”

“Shouldn’t we have a few drinks first?
 
Place doesn’t really start hopping until after nine.”

“At that point, we won’t be able to hear ourselves think.”

The waitress returned with our drinks.
 
She set a beer in front of me and I tasted it.
 
Fat Tire.
 
I gave her a thumbs-up.

“It’s my favorite,” she said, touching my arm and giving me a nice smile.

“That makes it taste even better.”

“I hope so.
 
My name is
Dori
.
 
Let me know if you need anything else.”
 
She gave me a wink.

Walter watched the exchange and popped an olive in his mouth.
 
When she left, he shook his head.
 
“For a woman who’s supposedly off the market, she was pretty nice to you.”

“She wants a good tip.”

“Right.”

“You were going to tell me about Zach.”

“Oh, I could tell you about Zach.”
 
He took a gulp of his martini.

“That’s why we’re here.”

He sighed.
 
“You know those dead people who keep rising?”

I nodded.

He leaned across the table and spoke quietly.
 
“I’m pretty sure Zach’s the one who raised them.”

“What makes you think that?”

“The son of a bitch is a necromancer.”

“I figured as much.”

“You don’t seem surprised.
 
His wife?”

“What about her?”

“Let’s just say Tony Alamo had nothing on Zach.”

“Really.”

“Oh yeah.
 
Gina was murdered four years ago, but she still goes to church on the occasional Sunday.”

“And you know this how?”

“I saw him kill her.”

“Go on.”

Walter finished his drink and ate another olive.
 
“Zach thought he was alone with her when he drowned her in the bathtub.”

“Really?”

“That’s right.
 
I sent my spirit body back in time and saw it happen.”

I leaned back in my seat.
 
“OK.”

“I’m getting the distinct impression you don’t believe me.”

“Spirit body?
 
Give me a reason.”

“I was in the army.
 
Career military.”

“And that means you’re honest to a fault?”

“I don’t talk about this with most people,” Walter said and looked around.
 
“It’s super secret, highly classified.”

“Right.
 
Well, you got a free drink out of the deal.
 
Shall I take you home?”

He slapped his palm on the table hard enough to make the napkin holder with the condiments bounce.
 
People turned to look at us.
 
Walter didn’t care.

“I’m telling you the truth.”

“Super secret, highly classified?” I said.
 
“Come on, Walter.”

“It was back then.”

“I’ll pay the tab and take you home now.”

“You ever hear of Project
Stargate
?”

“The remote viewing thing?”

“Yeah.
 
We did some amazing things.”

“From what I recall, that program had about fifteen percent accuracy.
 
You could do better than that by guessing at things.”

“That’s what they told the media.
 
Those of us who could actually do it were nearly a hundred percent accurate.
 
But if the media knew there were real-life psychic spies able to astral project through time and space, I don’t know how well the public would take that news.”

“So you’re going to tell me that ancient aliens hunted down our dinosaurs and Elvis slept with Bigfoot to give birth to Barack Obama?”

“I see how you are,” he said.
 
“You have no problem with seeing people get raised from the dead, but you don’t believe I can release my spirit into the ether to see things.”

“Look, Walter, I’ve seen some pretty weird shit in my day, but very little of the New Age crap turns out to be anything other than charlatans trying to con people out of their life savings.
 
I tend to be skeptical in that department.
 
I mean, come on.
 
Pyramid Power?
 
Crystals and psychic readings and all that?
 
In my view, the Project
Stargate
program was just a way to get paid for doing nothing.
 
You just had to wave your hands and say, ‘We have to keep up with the Russians!’ and the money would flow for some of the stupidest shit ever.”

“Are you done?”

I wasn’t but I took hold of myself and gave him a nod.

He nodded back.
 
“I guess I’ll just have to prove it to you.”

“You aren’t going to go into a trance here are you?”

“I’m not going to do anything here, Mr. Shade.
 
I prefer peace and quiet to focus and slip into the ether.
 
You have to understand that there are bad things out there and while I could just slip out of my body right now, that would be a bad idea.”

“Why?”

“They could be waiting for me.”

“They?”

“I call them demons.
 
I don’t know what they are really, but they seem like demons to me.
 
They tend to hang out in crowded areas, so I try not to leave my body undefended.”

If I believed him, I might be
creeped
out, but I knew better.
 
I can see ghosts, so if there were spirits around crowds and such, I’d be able to see them.
 
This clown was as full of shit as a Christmas turkey.

Walter looked around, caught the waitress’s eye, and pointed at his empty martini glass.

She gave him a nod and glanced at me.
 
I took a sip of my beer and shook my head.

“It’s best to have privacy and protection when you project.
 
What I’ll have you do is choose a place for me to go and have a look.”

“The Underworld?” I said.

“Ha!
 
Don’t tell me where you want me to go.
 
That defeats the purpose.”

The waitress returned carrying another martini with extra olives.
 
“Here you go, sir.”

He nodded to her.
 
She picked up his empty glass and gave me another glance and a smile.

When she walked away, Walter said, “You should ask for her number.”

I shrugged.

He sipped his martini.
 
“I think I’ll have one more of these before we go.”

“Drunken spirits.
 
Fun times.”

“My spirit doesn’t get drunk, just my body.
 
It eases the strain of leaving it.”

“Doesn’t protect it, though.”

“There is that.
 
Of course, that’s where the club comes in.”

“The club?”

“My remote viewing club.
 
I’ll call the guys and have them meet us at my place.”

Wonderful.
 
A whole remote viewing
club
.
 
Just what I needed.
 
Whackjobs
unite.

#

Thirty minutes later, back at Walter’s, the crew arrived.

The first guy to walk through the door was a middle-aged man with long, graying hair and eyes that darted this way and that as if he expected to get attacked at any second.
 
Too many video games?

He stuck his hand out.
 
“I’m Fred
Twitty
.
 
You’re the PI?”

“Safe bet,” I said and shook his hand.

He looked at his palm when he released me, shrugged, and gave Walter a nod.
 
“Walt, Cynthia’s trying to park.
 
She’ll be a minute.”

I glanced at Walter, and he winked at me.
 
“Cynthia just bought an SUV.
 
She’s been driving a little Subaru for years.
 
She’s worried she’ll run something over because the truck is too big for her.”

Cynthia entered the house.
 
She stood four foot nine in high heels.
 
I guessed her age at fifty-five.
 
She wore Coke-bottle glasses, and when she waved to me, the skin flaps under her arms jiggled like two kittens in a gunny sack.

“It’s past my bedtime,” she said, “so this better be good.”

“Thanks for coming,” Walter said.

She waved him off.
 
“I need a drink.”
 
She headed for the kitchen.

The fourth and final member of the Remote Viewing Club arrived a few minutes later.
 
Walter introduced him as Lou, and he looked like he’d been old back in Esther’s day.
 
That said, he walked with confidence and seemed to be in better shape than all of them.
 
He wore a wrinkled bowling team shirt and black slacks that exposed far too much of his mismatched socks, one white and one gray with a checkered pattern.

He had a firm handshake.
 
“I want to be home in time to watch Leno,” he said.
 
“Betty White is supposed to be on tonight.
 
Va-va-voom
!”

All of the members lived in the neighborhood except for Cynthia, who owned a house several miles to the west.

“Jonathan here doesn’t believe in remote viewing,” Walter said.
 
“Shall we prove ourselves to him?”

“I’d rather prove it to James Randi and collect a million smackers,” Fred said.

“What would you do with a million bucks?” Lou asked.

Fred looked this way and that then grinned.
 
“I’d travel the world and see all the mystical places from the pyramids to Easter Island.”