Adventure According to Humphrey (3 page)

Potter’s Pond. Picnic. Prizes. Treasure! My heart pounded at the possibilities, and my classmates’ cheers were almost deafening.

“What are the prizes?” Heidi asked.

“Raise-Your-Hand-Heidi,” Mrs. Brisbane answered. “The prizes will be a surprise.”

My friends groaned again, and I let out a bit of a squeak myself.

By afternoon, Mrs. Brisbane had written the rules for the sailboat contest on the chalkboard.

1. Each student will work with a partner.

2. The boat must be powered by the wind; no batteries or remote controls can be used.

3. All students will be given the same materials for their boats, but they will be allowed to add one item of their choosing (except batteries).

4. Materials will include wood, cardboard, cloth, paint, glue, markers and other art supplies.

5. The first boat to make it from the starting point to the opposite shore of Potter’s Pond will win the grand prize for Most Seaworthy.

6. There will be a prize for Most Beautiful Boat.

 

At the end of the day, my friends were still chattering away about sailboats as they rushed out of class.

Once the coast was clear, I shouted to my neighbor. “Og? Did you hear all that? She said
all students
. I wonder if . . .” I didn’t dare finish that thought. Most of the time, I did everything my friends in Room 26 did, like taking tests and learning new things. Sometimes we even had games or parties, and I was right there with the rest of them.

But sometimes, I was left out. Recess. Lunch. PE. Field trips. Still, I could hope.

I was so busy hoping, I didn’t realize that it was nighttime until the door flew open. The lights came on and a familiar voice said, “Give a cheer, ’cause Aldo’s here!”

“Greetings, Aldo!” I answered as he wheeled in his cleaning cart. “Did you hear about our wonderful contest?” As usual, all that came out was SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK.

I’m not sure if he understood me, but as he cleaned the room, he noticed the vocabulary words on one chalkboard and the rules for the contest on the other.

“So that’s what you’re worked up about, Humphrey!” he said with a hearty laugh. “I’d like to be part of that!”

“Me too!” I answered, and Og splashed wildly.

“That gives me a great idea!” Aldo announced.

I waited breathlessly for him to say more. Instead, he started sweeping up the aisles of the classroom. Occasionally, I’d hear him chuckle, but I had no idea what he was thinking.

“Squeak up!” I finally insisted.

“You’ll see,” Aldo answered. “All in good time.”

“What was that all about?” I asked Og after Aldo was gone.

“BOING-BOING!” Og replied. Then he leaped into the water side of his tank. While he was splishing and splashing, I daydreamed about life on the open sea, riding the waves, going up and down and up and down. (I stopped thinking about that when my tummy got a little queasy.) If I had a boat, I could sail the seven seas! I could sail anywhere in the world. I could even sail to far-off Brazil, where Ms. Mac lived.

Ms. Mac! She was my first human friend, and what a friend she was. She was full of life with her bouncy black curls, her big happy smile, her large dark eyes. She was also adventurous. She even took me on a bike ride once, and at night, she liked to play bongo drums. Life with Ms. Mac was THE BEST.

Then she broke my heart when Mrs. Brisbane came back to Room 26 and Ms. Mac left for Brazil. A broken heart hurts a lot. Sure, she sent us letters and pictures, but it wasn’t like seeing her every day. At first, I didn’t think I’d ever squeak to her again. But by now, my heart wasn’t exactly broken. It was just sprained. And I’d be GLAD-GLAD-GLAD if I could see her again.

I don’t think Ms. Mac meant to break my heart.

I do think Ms. Mac would be glad to see me again, too.

Funny how a book about pirates gets you thinking about all kinds of crazy things.

Even love.

B
OATS-BOATS-BOATS! Just about all we talked about in Room 26 had to do with boats. There was a math problem about a boat race and a history lesson about the Vikings, who were great sailors and wore impressive hats with horns on them. There were also those lovely vocabulary words.

And there was the story. Every day, Mrs. Brisbane read another exciting chapter from the book. Uncle Jolly Roger, who did seem unusually jolly for a pirate, taught Vic and Vi (that’s what he called Victor and Violet) all kinds of wonderful things about sailing. They even had a run-in with a huge whale!

That part of the story gave I-Heard-That-Kirk the chance to tell this joke:

“What do you call a baby whale? A little squirt!” We all chuckled at that.

So, in just a few short days, I went from never thinking about boats to thinking about them all the time. There were so many kinds of wonderful boats, from rowboats you move with oars and muscles to sailboats and tall ships powered by the wind. Then there were motorboats, yachts, tugboats and ferries, which all have engines. And there were the great ships powered by steam. Mrs. Brisbane brought in more books about boats and put up huge posters on the wall.

It would be hard to choose a favorite, but the Chinese junk did catch my eye. That boat isn’t junk at all, but a beautiful craft with colorful sails. I could almost feel the sea breeze tickle my whiskers whenever I looked at the picture.

In the evenings, I tried to talk to Og about boats and pirates and treasure, but as soon as I’d bring up the subject, he’d dive into his tank and swim around. Maybe he was trying to tell me that he didn’t need a boat to make his way through the water.

I was a little jealous, although I still wouldn’t want to be a frog. As nice as Og is, he has googly eyes, green skin and no nice soft fur at all!

I occupied my spare time by drawing pictures of boats in my little notebook. I must admit, my drawing of the SS
Golden Hamster,
complete with a hamster flag, was quite impressive.

On Friday, it was time to find out which of my friends would take me home for the weekend. “Do you have the permission slip, Gail?” Mrs. Brisbane asked.

Gail pulled a slightly crumpled paper out of her pocket. “Here it is!” she said with a giggle.

So I was going home with Gail. Since Gail loved to laugh so much, I was bound to have a fun weekend. Yippee! I was happy to see that she was also taking home a stack of books about boats.

Gail’s mom, Mrs. Morgenstern, came to pick us up. She was a colorful human who wore blue jeans, an orange sweater with red flowers on it, a yellow cap and high red boots. Her hair was in a long braid halfway down her back.

“You know what, Humphrey? I think I’m going to paint you this weekend,” she said.

Oh, dear! Mrs. Morgenstern seemed like a nice person, but the thought of being all covered in wet and messy paint didn’t sound fun to me.

“It won’t be easy,” Gail warned her. “He won’t stand still.”

Mrs. Morgenstern just smiled. “I’ll find a way.”

As she carried me out of the classroom, I squeaked to Og, “Wish me luck, Oggy boy! I don’t know what color I’ll be when I come back! Maybe green, like you!”

“BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og sounded a little upset. Maybe he liked being the only green creature in Room 26.

When we got to the house, instead of painting me, Gail’s mom gave me some carrots and gently set my cage on the nightstand in Gail’s room.

When we were alone, Gail curled up on her bed with her stack of books.

Suddenly, there was a thundering sound, like a herd of wild horses, coming into the room.

“Humphrey!”

It was Gail’s brother, Simon. I’d met him once before when I’d stayed at the house. He was just about as tall as Gail, but she still called him her little brother.

“How’s it going, Humphrey? What’s new? What’s happening? Look at your wheel! Can I feed you? Want out of your cage?”

That was how Simon talked. Fast.

“Simon! Humphrey’s
my
class hamster. I’ll feed him and take care of him,” Gail scolded him.

“Aw, I just wanted to say hi. Hiya, Humphrey!” Then Simon made a funny face, sticking his teeth out and holding his hands up in front of him. “See, I’m a hamster, too.”

“You’re an idiot,” said Gail. “Go away.”

“Okay,” said Simon. “But I’ll be back!”

As he hurried out of the room, Gail let out a big sigh. “My
brother,
” she groaned.

She made a brother sound like a very bad thing. And yet, to a hamster who lives alone in a cage with a frog for a neighbor who doesn’t even squeak, having a brother seemed like a very nice thing.

I decided to cheer Gail up with a new trick I’d taught myself. Instead of getting on my wheel and spinning it, I lay down on my back underneath it, then reached my paws up and made the wheel spin with my feet.

You’d better believe Stop-Giggling-Gail couldn’t stop giggling at that until there was a knock at the door and Gail’s mom peeked into the room. “May I come in?”

Mrs. Morgenstern entered, carrying a stack of boxes, with a lot of colorful bags hanging from her arms.

“Guess who went shopping today?” she asked.

I guessed Gail’s mom did . . . and I was right. She dumped the boxes and bags on Gail’s bed.

“Wait till you see,” she said, excitedly opening the boxes. “I got you the cutest outfits! Look at this darling skirt!”

She held up a skirt with blue, pink, yellow and green stripes on it. “It will look great on you.”

Gail wrinkled her nose. “But Mom, I like pants for school. I mean, at recess . . .”

“Well, these tights go underneath.” Mrs. Morgenstern held up a bright pink pair. She rummaged around in a bag. “I bought three skirts. One with stripes, one with stars and one with flowers.”

“But Mom . . . I don’t like skirts,” Gail repeated.

“Try something new, dear.” Mrs. Morgenstern pulled out a fuzzy-looking sweater. “Like this!”

Personally, I like fuzzy things, like hamsters, but Gail ran her hand over the sweater and said it looked itchy.

“Just try it.” Gail’s mom then reached over and opened a box. “I had another
brilliant
idea today,” she announced. “We’re going to redo your room!”

Gail blinked hard. “Again?”

“In with the new, out with the old,” her mom said with a smile.

“But we just painted it last year,” Gail reminded her. “And I like the blue and white stripes.”

“
Two
years ago,” said her mom. “It’s something we can do together. It will be fun! We’ll give it a whole new look. You and I could paint a mural. We could make the whole room like the universe with all the planets. Or the whole room could look like the ocean.
Or
. . .”

Gail sighed. “I just got used to my room the way it is.”

Mrs. Morgenstern reached out and patted Gail’s face. “Honey, try and open up to new things. Change is good!”

Gail didn’t answer. She just stared down at her blue bedspread.

Her mom frowned. “Tell you what. I’ll leave these samples here and you look at them. And think about a mural, okay? Just think about it.”

“Sure, Mom,” Gail replied.

Gail didn’t seem very excited about painting her room. But I thought it was a much better idea than painting
me.

After Mrs. Morgenstern left, Gail stared at her striped walls for a while. She pushed the paint samples aside and picked up one of her books. She turned a lot of pages, then suddenly held up her book to my cage.

“Look at this ship, Humphrey,” she said.

It was a picture of a lovely sailboat with a billowing white sail.

“I like it!” I squeaked. I know that all Gail heard was SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK, but she seemed to understand.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she asked.

“YES-YES-YES!” I agreed.

Gail sighed again. “Sometimes, I’d like to sail away on a ship and go far, far away,” she said.

“To Brazil!” I said with a squeak. Maybe it was more like a shriek.

“You could come with me,” said Gail. Then she went back to her bed and her stack of books.

 

Really, Gail’s family couldn’t have been nicer to me. Great snacks, a great cage clean, no jokes about my poo. Still, I was nervous about being painted.

You see, I’m a Golden Hamster, which means I have very beautiful, glossy golden fur. I never really wanted to be another color. Not red. Not blue. Not green. (I’m not sure there are
any
hamsters in those colors.)

“Humphrey, you didn’t eat your carrots,” Mrs. Morgenstern said later that night.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that every time I saw the carrots, I thought about being painted orange.