Alex's Destiny (Racing To Love) (16 page)

Still whispering, he cringed. “Are you sure? I mean, I want to, but are you sure you guys are really okay with it? I wasn’t even thinking last night. I should have asked you first.”

Lowering herself onto the bed, she sat by his leg. He understood the sad smile. He got that no one wanted Alex to hurt, and he saw the pain her parents were trying to wade through every day. He felt the same way.

“Carter and I talked about it for a long time last night. Let me ask you something, and please be honest, if not with me, then with yourself. Do you love her?”

His smile came genuinely, “Yes, very much.”

“I know you always have, but I mean, more. Not just the close friendship you two have always had, is there more? Here’s the difference between what Carter dealt with, and what you’re going through. He had already made it clear how he felt, before my attack. You need to make sure you’re not drawn to her because you feel guilty.”

“I don’t, Aunt Mol.” He closed his eyes, remembering Alex sitting in his old apartment surrounded by photos of their relationship. “I knew a few years ago. I just didn’t think anyone would understand, or that it would be alright. It felt wrong in a way. I was so lost because I knew she was the woman I loved, but it felt wrong, I didn’t know how to go about it. She is so much younger, plus everything else. To answer your question, no I‘m not here because I feel like I owe her. I love her and always have. And,” he took a deep breath and swallowed hard, “not in a
just friends
way,” he said to her mother. As embarrassing and difficult as it was to talk to her about it, he needed to say it. They needed to know his intentions. “I would love to get an apartment with her, and talk to Grandpa about building here somewhere, but she’s nowhere near ready for that, I know, but, to be honest, I am never leaving her.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear. You’re right though, she’s not ready. But we are fine—both, Carter and I—we’re fine with you staying here.”

He couldn’t help but feel like he was imposing on their space, and he was sleeping in their house with their daughter. In the old days it was fairly commonplace for young married couples to live with one set of their parents or the other, but he and Alex weren’t married. Hell, they weren’t even engaged…yet. But for now, it was the only answer to one of the problems he felt he could actually fix for Alex. So he forced his mouth to turn up. “Thank you, both.”

“No, Dallas. Thank you. She needed you, and you were right there to help pick up the pieces. I remember being in that spot. Even though my family means the world to me, there was just a different sort of peace I felt when Carter was near. I can’t explain it, and I know it has to do with soulmate type of love versus the love you feel for your family. Like I said, I get it, and Carter gets it. You’re a soft landing place for her, and have been for years and years. You know her in ways even we don’t. As long as you loved her before any of this happened, then there won’t be any resentment later.”

“No, this is forever. I can feel it.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear.”

Molly patted his leg again and started to stand, but he stopped her. Pulling in a breath, he fumbled with his words. “Wait, Aunt Mol. Um. Since, well, Alex is going to be here for the time being, and…eh, me too. I just wanted to run something past you I’ve been working on. I just heard back this morning from a friend of mine, but now I need to ask you if this is okay.”

Winking, Molly sat back down, and with her voice still lowered she teased him. “You look half giddy, half nervous. Spill it.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

She stretched and several places in her body popped and creaked.
Dallas was still snoozing by her side, his arms wrapped around her, holding her to his chest. The poor man’s skin was ice cold to the touch, and she reached for the blanket. Grabbing it, she realized it was from the spare room, and one of her parents must have brought it in for him, but it had been kicked off long ago.

Her head was pounding, but even that couldn’t stop the slight excitement she got from realizing it was early morning. She had made it through the night. With a deep breath she snuggled back into
Dallas’s side.

“Morning, baby,” he said softly.

“Did I wake you?”

Rubbing her arm, he grinned, “Nope.”

“What time is it?”

Yawning, he shifted to glance at her bedside table, “About ten till eight.”

She caught his contagious yawn and followed suit, “I guess that means I made it through the night, huh?”

“Well…sort of.” He shifted again, this time propping himself on his elbow. Her head slid to the pillow below it, and he brushed the hair from her forehead, “Lex…it’s Tuesday morning.”

Blinking, she took in the proud smile slowly creeping across his face. His eyes weren’t as tired as they had been, and he looked almost like he was relieved. Surely he was joking. She hadn’t slept in God knows how long, but there was no way her nightmares had left her alone…not for, she did some quick math in her head, almost forty hours? No one sleeps an entire day away.

“I thought I heard voices in here.”

“Jack. What day is it?”

Plopping down on her side of the bed, he grinned. “Friday.”

“No, be serious. What day is it really? Dallas said it’s Tuesday, but I didn’t sleep that long.”

“I’m afraid you did, honey.”

Looking at her doorway Alex stuttered, “Mom, Dad. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake up the whole house.”

Making their way in, her father patted her leg once they reached the foot of the bed. “Sweetheart, we’re just glad to see you talking. We’ve been so worried about you.”

“Talking?”

Talking? First they tell her she’s missed an entire day, now they were telling her she was just a lump on a couch? Nothing was making any sense. She needed some coffee. In a very bad way. And if it truly was Tuesday, she could use a shower. Trying to put the pieces of the last few days in place was depressing. Alex knew she was in a bad place, but hearing that statement alerted her to just how far she was slipping away. It was confirmation of something she had tried not to admit. The weight that had been missing a few moments ago, lowered back down upon her.

Dallas laid his lips against her forehead, “No, Lex, come back.”

He could read her, and there was no hiding the despair. The way Jack sat down heavy on her bed, teasing her, brought back a flash of her past. A glimpse into what she was like before…but now? Talking. She knew what her dad meant, knew what
Dallas meant when he begged her to “come back”. It was the dark place, the one that didn’t allow smiles, teasing or laughter. The place she resided now, the place she couldn’t escape. She tried. Dallas was trying to break her free of the hold it had on her, she felt that from him. The shackles tightened and always pulled her back anyway, away from him, away from her family and away from happiness. She was beginning to think she’d never be the girl again who used to live in this room filled with sunshine first thing in the morning, the one who lived on the track all day, and the one who loved training children.

The one place in the world that used to bring her such joy and security, was now the one place she felt the most vulnerable—her home. In her mind, the dark clouds had descended over the property and vines crawled up out of the ground, controlling her and everything around her.

He
was still out there…somewhere. Waiting. Just waiting.

Tears sprung to her eyes without warning, and the man she depended on for her next breath scooped her to his side, whispering soothing hushes. Her eyes were screwed shut, but she didn’t have to look to know the pain she laid upon her family, and Dallas.

Jack’s hand squeezed her shoulder. “I promise, Alex, it won’t be always be this hard. You’ve just got to believe in us, because we won’t give up on you.”

In the distance she heard more voices. Concentrating, she could tell it was her grandparents, then her dad’s footsteps as he quickly made his way out of her room to meet them. From the bottom of the stairs she heard her dad tell them to come on up, that they were all awake.

The shoes on the wooden floor stopped at her bedroom door. “Well, we know it’s early, but that’s not new for any of you. Dallas’s surprise arrived last night, and well, you know how good Grandpa is with surprises. He’s worse than a kid.” Her grandma teased lightly, probably sensing the tension in the room.

“
Dallas, you want to take over here, Son?” James asked.

Wiping her tears, Alex sat up so
Dallas could remove his arm. Still in only his jeans, he climbed from her bed and walked out into the hall where her grandfather stood. Peering around her father, she watched him closely as he turned back toward her with a leash in his hand. At his side as he walked toward her was the biggest dog she’d ever seen. When Dallas stopped at the side of the bed, the dog looked to him as if waiting on a command.

With a slight jerk of
Dallas’s head, the dog was up on top of her blankets and inching toward her.

“Lex, I’d like you to meet someone. This is Ruby.” Petting the dog roughly behind her ear,
Dallas smiled then spoke directly to the dog. “Ruby, this is
your
girl, Alex.” As if the dog understood what he meant, she lowered her nose and nuzzled against Alex’s blanket-covered leg.

Her Uncle Jesse and Aunt Emery had three dogs, and she’d always loved being around them, but growing up, Alex and Jack had been on the road a lot with racing. It wasn’t something she really missed out on, but seeing the German Shepard made her heart race at the thought of keeping this gentle animal. It only took seconds, to read her soul and giant heart. Bending down, she placed a kiss on her head and rubbed her cheek against Ruby’s soft fur.

“Sweetie, Ruby is special,” Dallas said scooting back in the bed beside her and her new four-legged friend to lean against the headboard. Holding his hand out, Ruby started to lick his fingers before she laid her head down with a heavy thud on Alex’s thigh. “German Shepard’s are known to be working dogs, but this girl, she’s a retired K-9 police dog. A lot of times, the officer gets so attached when it comes time for the unit to get a younger animal, they keep the retired one as a pet. Sometimes they even help the younger dog in training. Well, a buddy of mine is on the force, and I had him ask around. Ruby is known for being very possessive, and for being a hard worker. Her job is to protect you at all times. It will keep her busy, more so than being in a quiet house all day like she had been. I hope she gives you the comfort of knowing she isn’t going to let anything happen to you, and I mean nothing.

“She has been trained around cars, fire trucks and guns, so she can handle the noise of the bikes on the track. Ruby can go to the track with you, when you’re ready that is. She’ll stay where you tell her to, so you don’t have to worry about her running out on the track and causing a wreck, or her getting hurt.”

“You found Ruby? Especially for me?”

Dallas
leaned in, kissing her softly on the cheek. “Just for you.”

“She’s so sweet though. What do you mean by possessive?”

“See how she senses out of all of us it’s you she needs to protect.” Alex rubbed a gentle finger up the dog’s nose between her eyes, watching the dog fall asleep beside her. It all came back to her just how worried they were about her. Then Dallas’s finger came up under her chin, not letting her avoid his pain. “She needs you as much as you need her. You’re a team now. She’s a cop, Lex. She knows that. And she always will be. She was becoming depressed watching her partner leave with his uniform on and not take her. Ruby knows she’s supposed to be working, she’s supposed to be protecting him. She needs you as much as you need her. Let her protect you now.”

The dog’s head never moved, but her eyes opened, and looked between her and Dallas, her bushy eyebrows raising and lowering as her big brown eyes moved. Almost like she was trying to decide if Alex was going to believe what
Dallas was saying. Scooting back down into the bed Alex put her arm around Ruby’s neck. “I need you too, Ruby. I need you, too. Thank you so much, Dallas,” she said softly as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Ruby raised her head, licking it before it reached her chin.

Dallas mimicked her, scooting back down into the warm bed. The bed shook as he scratched Ruby’s ears. “That’s it, girl, you take care of her. That’s your job now. You gotta help me, okay? Help me love her? Yeah…you do, don’t ya? You already love her. You’re a good girl, Ruby. You’ll take care of Lex for us, won’t ya?”

Alex heard a swipe of a large tongue across his face before he chuckled. She didn’t have a chance to open her eyes before a furry head covered her own face for a nap, like a heavy, hot, breathing stuffed toy. Alex loved on the massive dog with her eyes closed, the room darkened because of the fur covering her eyes.
Dallas laced his fingers in hers as she heard footsteps quietly leaving them to their nap.

~~~

“That dog is something else,
Dallas.” Levi grinned.

Ruby walked beside Alex as if she was permanently glued to her, and it warmed
Dallas’s heart. It was working. Ruby was coaxing smiles from her, even a laugh once as she caught Alex off-guard with a wet sloppy tongue upside the face. “Thanks, man. I’m so glad. It was a Hail Mary pass, but I’ll be damned if it didn’t work.”

Since yesterday morning, when Ruby arrived on the scene, she hadn’t left Alex unattended. They’d made it as far as the tree line as Ruby scouted the area in front of them. Turning, she ran back to them, her tail wagging with the all clear. Later on in the week,
Dallas was going to see if he could get the two of them loaded up in the Jeep and run to the pet store in town. It was a long shot, but Alex seemed noticeably more relaxed this evening. Especially after watching Ruby inspect everyone who came to the door for dinner. What he was most excited about, was the sandwich that Alex ate almost half of for lunch. He reminded himself it was a big deal, and it was the baby steps to be watching for, not unrealistic leaps and bounds.

So far, she’d gone outside with him and Ruby, ate a little, and was out of her bedroom for the impromptu family dinner. Funny how his idea of a miracle would have been drastically different just two weeks ago. Now he looked for the silver linings in everything she did. Even now, as she struggled with the waist band of her pants, trying to keep them up as she stood by the island in the kitchen with her mom. At least she was dressed. She wasn’t locked away upstairs like she had been. The weight would come back eventually.

“So. I was…damn, this is so awkward.” Levi ran his hand over hair and shoved his ball cap back on. “I wanted to let you know your brother Marc got my number from one of the guys. Tasia, she…eh called me. We’ve actually talked a couple of times now.”

Dallas
leaned forward with his forearms on his thighs, processing the information. He kept telling himself not to get hung-up on their age difference, that it would be hypocritical of him. Especially since his girl who was headed back to sit on the couch with him, Ruby in tow, was younger by the same amount of years. What was harder to swallow was Tasia and Levi’s age difference was highlighted by the fact that although Levi was twenty-five, Tasia was eighteen.

“Hey, Alex.” Levi winked at the girl settling in beside him.

Dallas no longer felt any jealousy toward him or the friendship they had. One thing he was grateful for was Alex didn’t know Levi had seen her like he had that night. It was something Levi wanted kept a secret because he was afraid it would hurt their friendship. Dallas was happy to keep his secret, because he knew that level of embarrassment was something Alex wouldn’t be able to shake.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as she smiled back at Levi. Ruby was lying at their feet.
Dallas had honestly forgotten all about the look he saw on both Levi and Tasia’s faces that day, but he knew his instincts had been right. There had been something going on in the kitchen at his parent‘s house between Levi and his sister.

“Have you two, you know…been on a date yet?”

“No. Not yet. I wanted to talk to you first. Given the circumstances, I’d feel better about it if I spoke to your parents also. Call me a little old-fashioned, but my grandmother would have my hide if I didn’t.”

Well, that was something at least. He had to give the guy credit.
Dallas knew how stubborn Tasia was when she wanted something. The fact she’d tracked Levi down scared the hell out of him. The fact Levi was older than her scared Dallas even more. What absolutely terrified him was the fire burning just below the surface in his sister’s personality. Their dad would have a conniption fit when he heard about her chasing down an older man , but the more Dallas got to know Levi he decided maybe it was a good thing. All the structured routine a professional athlete has to maintain can be draining. Maybe Levi could keep her going, but grounded at the same time.