All Tomorrow's Parties (8 page)

“Laine, I know it’s all my fault - to be honest I’ve been willing this to happen since we first met, hoping beyond hope that you would ditch Danny and be with me. At least one part of my wish has come true – the rest is down to you Lainey.” Tony reached out and placed a delicate kiss onto her hand. She knew he was right, she had to decide what she wanted to do - the rest was up to her. They had flirted, they had danced to the song of suggestion for over a year, and now here was the moment it had been leading to.

“God damn it girl you are just too damn sexy.” He lifted Laine up and pushed her gently until she was sitting on the table top, instinctively she drew her legs up around him, again he was surprised at how powerful his need to make love to this woman was. He felt out of control, desperate to seize the moment as if each time may be the last. He hated being out of control, yet for this moment and with this woman it seemed to be the most comfortable thing in the world. His hunger for her was increasing with each hour; that much he had recognised. But could he now do what he knew he must to keep her?

6

Laine was late for work again. Tony had dropped her at the station at 6am. She had needed to get the train home, change and get back to work for the start of the day at 10am. As she sat on the 08.40 back into London she smiled to herself. All of the suburbanites in their suits and black shiny shoes - to them it’s just another day, she thought. I wonder if their lives are as crazy as mine at the moment?

She eyed the woman sitting opposite, who appeared to have just been freshly starched. She was sorely tempted to ask her if she had ever had sex on a bathroom floor, but thought better of it and continued reading her Oxford book of Byron poems. Byron had, since Laine left school, become a blanket of warmth to her, along with her music. When she needed to immerse herself away from her own world it was Byron to whom she turned. She felt a connection to his poems. Each one spoke to her, as if the fingerprints of his life were somehow scattered throughout hers. She “got” him, she felt that even though he wrote more than a lifetime ago the human condition had not changed much. If anything it was hurtling backwards at tremendous speed.

It was now 10.15am and she had just walked through the door of Vestal. She knew Adam would be in the HODS meeting (Heads of Departments) so that left Ambra and Reggie to deal with.

“So what’s this half day?” Ella smiled as Laine climbed the stairs.

“You free for lunch Ella? I really need some advice”, Laine whispered as she reached the top.

“Sure hon, just got to deliver this lot to TV centre”, said Ella, pointing to the box of singles under her arm.

“I’ll come a knocking about 1ish?”

“Cool, see you then, we’ll go to Tropics and get a jacket potato and a bottle of wine or something.”

Lucky for Laine both Ambra and Reggie were engrossed in phone conversations, so she could sneak to her desk no problem. A post-it note had been stuck to her phone in Ambra’s slanty writing.
Please ring lover boy at Trash ASAP. X
  Adam had obviously told them what had happened last night. She couldn’t face Tony yet; she needed advice from Ella. Danny was due back tonight; everything was moving way too fast for her and it was all her own fault.

Adam returned from his meeting and smiled that “I think I know what you did last night but I’m still not 100% sure” kind of smile of his. Laine knew that her antics with Tony had to be so hush-hush that she had to give the performance of a lifetime.

“Don’t look at me like that Adam, I know how your mind works but you’re wrong OK? Wrong wrong wrong. I helped him out just as agreed and went home stinking of beer on the train for my trouble. I’m sure people thought I was drunk”, she lied.

“OK Laine if you say so. I must admit I do kinda believe you, after all you are wearing clean clothes and they’re yours, plus that would have been one hell of an excuse you’d have had to make to Danny if you didn’t get home - but I still don’t get the kiss? Why kiss the lech? After all you know how much he’s into you - why lead him on?” he smirked.

“What’s this about your clothes and a kiss?”’ Ambra had caught the end of the conversation.

“Just Adam looking for gossip that doesn’t exist. He thinks I went home with Tony last night”, she said as nonchalantly as she could.

“Oh Adam, grow up”, snapped Ambra, “you should know Laine better by now. If anything were gonna happen with him it would have happened yonks ago”, she said, leaping to Laine’s defence.

“Yeah but Ambra you didn’t see the kiss she planted on him - or the way she delivered it”, added Adam, half protesting but not really ready for a full-on battle.

“I was playing the part Adam. You know that as well as everyone; Christ even Karenna knew that by the end of the evening!”

“Oh yes I heard about that crazy chick, that was all a bit freaky – You OK hun?” said Ambra, touching Laine’s shoulder.

“Yeah fine, just wanna move forward, won’t be playing that role again anytime soon though.” God you little liar – her conscience was knocking the inside of her head out.

With that her phone rang. With an internal sigh of relief Laine answered and passed it though to Adam. It was a journalist from Smash Hits wanting an interview with Mahler.

Lunchtime could not come soon enough. Thankfully Tony had not tried to call her again. At 1:15pm Ella popped her head around the door and they set off for Tropics, the local wine bar on Kensington Park Road. A cross between a Caribbean themed restaurant and a local pub, Tropics was Laine and Ella’s favourite lunchtime escape; just off Portobello Road, it was never very busy and compared to other establishments in the area it was cheap.

After ordering their usual jacket potatoes and the house white it was all Laine could do to wait until the waiter was out of ear shot, but Ella got there first –

“Do you realise Laine that our holiday is only a week away? I am so excited”, said Ella, completely unaware of the previous night’s antics.

“It has definitely come at the right time for me Ella, in fact I wish it were today”, sighed Laine. And with that she preceded to tell Ella everything that had happened the previous night.

Ella stared thoughtfully at Laine as if she were working out an incredibly complex maths equation.

“What are you gonna do Laine? I mean you’ve said you and Danny are like a pair of old slippers, are you ready to chuck them out?” Laine laughed. She had made that comment a few months back, but Ella was right: that is what it would boil down to.

“I don’t know, I’ve never done anything like this in my life before. Danny is back tonight, I don’t even think I’ll be able to look him in the face Ella. I don’t want to lie to him but I’m not sure I can tell him the truth either. He adores me El, I’ll really hurt him. Last night everything seemed so clear cut and now, well…”

“Listen Laine, my advice is: don’t lie to Danny but don’t offer him the truth either. We’ll be going away next week and you’ll have ten whole days to sort out what you think you should do. As for Tony, just tell him you need some space to figure things out, tell him you’ll contact him when once you get back. For once Laine Marshall you need to do what you want, and that’s not necessarily what you believe is the right thing, got it?” Ella now stared sternly at Laine. She hated seeing her friend so confused.

Laine agreed this was a good plan, but how on earth she would be able to be with Danny without confessing she had no idea.

Back at the office an envelope sat prominently propped against her phone - she recognised the handwriting - it was Tony’s. She was always getting stuff delivered so there wouldn’t be any unwelcome questions. A tiny gold brooch with a Persian slipper and a postcard of the Eiffel tower were inside - on the back Tony had written “a golden slipper for my princess - 6.30pm The Castle Ledbury Road. Tx”. She would have to see him. She wondered if Danny was home yet.

He answered the phone. “Boots I have missed you so much, I’ve got loads to tell you, can you come home now?” His voice sounded genuinely pleased to hear her.

“Danny, it’s three o clock, of course I can’t…I’m going to be a little late, probably back around 8.30ish, shall I pick us something up?” Laine was trying her hardest to sound carefree, the two glasses of wine she and Ella had quaffed gave her the much needed Dutch courage. If he detected something was wrong he was hiding it well.

“Yeah that would be good, Chinese and a few hugs works for me.” His voice was light hearted and joyful.

“OK I’ll get the usual, see you later.” It was a good job he couldn’t see Laines face: she was visibly cringing. She had no idea how she was going to be able to face him. She was the world’s worst liar and he always knew when she was lying.

The rest of the afternoon had been filled with sending out a mail shot of Mahler 7 inches to all of the regional press, with a press release about their debut single. Mahler were only a few years older than Laine and were tres cool she thought. She had hit it off with Trent the bass player from the start, and now whenever they were in the building he would always make a point of coming to see her. Ambra had even taken Laine to their photo-shoot for the single sleeve which Laine had loved. They were lined up to support David Bowie at the Milton Keynes Bowl. It was the hottest ticket in town and Vestal had laid on a coach to take everyone. Of course it would be good to see Mahler, but it was Bowie who she really wanted to see.

Bowie’s Low album had summed up some of the darker times of her teenage years. It had somehow aligned itself to her insignificant world, encapsulating the angst she felt about her life.

Quiet Life by Japan was another of Laine’s favourite albums. Its melodies and the ethereal voice of David Sylvian allowed her to be taken to places away from her suburban environment.

Throughout her childhood she had never felt that she fitted the life path she was on. She was comfortable in her skin but not in her surroundings. There had seemed to be no common bonds with her family. Only music and the ballet classes she attended three times a week gave her a feeling of actually living. She missed the dance classes and had been good at them. When she got back from Italy she would try to find one.

Laine made it to The Castle with ten minutes to spare. She took a seat in the beer garden. May had finally ditched spring and was heading into summer. The garden was walled and a nice size for a suburban pub, the tables were well spaced and the vines growing across the walls and pergola were old, giving the garden an almost Mediterranean feel. Tony arrived dead on time; he was known for that. Laine had already finished a glass of house white, her drug of choice, by the time he got there. Despite the triple summersaults in her stomach she was relatively relaxed.

She could feel his stare as soon as he walked into the beer garden and turned and smiled.

Tony had gone through the day doubting his feelings for Laine. He had been distracted, at times downright rude to his staff, but now seeing her across the room doubt had turned and run for the hills. Tony believed it had been love at first sight with Laine. He had met her perchance at Vestal when he came to take the press crew out to lunch. It was almost unheard of for a journalist to take a press office out to lunch; it was usually the other way around. Vestal had such a good working relationship with T.C. that every now and again Tony liked to redress the balance a little and take Adam and his team to lunch. It was really no more than a token gesture, however it boded well for future relations. Once in a while paying the piper also meant you got to call the tune. It was also a sign of respect: Vestal were a hip young company, Trash a definitive guide to popular music. Both sat comfortably with one another and were masters of their craft. Adam and Tony knew they needed each other. More than that they needed to be seen needing each other.

Laine, being the junior, had always stayed back at the office and had never been invited to lunch no matter who was paying the piper! This had been the first time he had seen her, sitting at her desk stuffing press releases into envelopes. He was gone in a heartbeat. It had taken every ounce of effort to have a meaningful discussion around the lunch table as his mind kept drifting back to Laine sitting at her desk.

Later the same week he had watched her from across the room at a Mahler press launch as she and Ambra studied the guest list, checking and re-checking as more and more media arrived at the entrance. Tony was captivated by her total lack of awareness of her own beauty.

He was staring at a masterpiece for the first time, appreciating its uniqueness, its timeless beauty. From that point on he had to engineer another lunch with the Vestal crew, but this time he had to insist Laine be included. Adam, Ambra and Reggie were taken aback by Tony’s insistence at Laine’s inclusion, after all they were the press officers, they were the ones who did the schmoozing - Laine just did the admin and made the tea. Nevertheless they could not very well say no, as Tony was paying!