American Indian Trickster Tales (Myths and Legends) (27 page)

“No,” said the man, “it doesn’t hurt at all.”

“Why is your wife doing this?” Veeho asked.

“Watch me,” said the man. He threw the scrapings from his back into a kettle of boiling water and, instantly, the scrapings turned into fat buffalo-hump meat. The man and his wife had a feast.

They shared their meal with Veeho. He told the man: “Elder brother, I wish I could do this. Then I could feed my family.”

“You can have your wife scrape your back, and the pieces of skin will turn into buffalo-hump meat. But you must do it no more than four times.”

The man was known to be very wise. Therefore Veeho trusted him. He went back to his tipi and told his wife to take a flesher and scrape his back.

“Won’t it hurt terribly?” his wife asked.

“Woman, do as I say,” answered Veeho. The wife scraped his back. It did not hurt. The pieces of skin from Veeho’s back looked like scraps from a buffalo hide. “Boil water in your pot,” Veeho told his wife. She did as told. Veeho threw the skin shavings into the boiling water. At once they turned into chunks of succulent hump meat. Veeho, his wife, and his children had a feast.

The next day Veeho again asked his wife to take her flesher and scrape his back. And, as on the preceding day, the scrapings turned into good, fat meat and again they filled their bellies. “Ah, this is the first time I am doing this,” Veeho told himself. “Now I can do it three more times.” He had forgotten that he had already had his back scraped once before. Veeho has a bad memory. He had his wife scrape his back two more times on the following days. He had now done this four times, but he thought it had been only three. Veeho told his wife: “Woman, this is the last time we can do this. Take your flesher and scrape my back real hard, as hard as you can. I am hungry. I want a great heap of fat buffalo-hump meat.” He thought it was the fourth time, but it was really the fifth. The wife scraped hard. Veeho howled with pain. He was bleeding. Strips of flesh were dangling from his back.

Veeho went to the wise man. He said: “Elder brother, look what you have done to me. You told me this would not happen.”

“Younger brother,” the man answered, “I told you not to have your back scraped more than four times, but you did this more often than that.”

“Really?” said Veeho. “I must have miscounted. I do not have a head for numbers.”

“That’s for sure,” said the man.

Veeho sat down by the man’s side before the tipi. The man said to his wife: “Take off your dress.” The wife did so. The man took a sharp knife and cut his wife’s dress into little pieces. He threw them into a pot of boiling water. Instantly the pieces were changed into delicious buffalo tongues, livers, and kidneys. The man and his wife ate these and invited Veeho to share their feast. When they had eaten all this good food, the man pulled his wife’s dress out of the pot. It was no longer cut up into pieces. It was whole. It was as good as new.

“Elder brother,” said Veeho, “I wish I could do that.”

“And so you can,” said the wise man, “but you must not do it more than four times.”

“I won‘t,” Veeho said, and went home.

As soon as Veeho arrived back at his lodge, he called his wife. “Quick, woman, hand me your dress!” His wife took off her fine white buckskin dress decorated with quillwork and the eyeteeth of many elk. With a knife Veeho chopped the dress into pieces.

“Fool, what are you doing?” cried the wife.

“Be quiet and watch,” said Veeho. He threw the chopped-up pieces of the dress into a kettle of boiling water and, in a flash, the pieces were transformed into good-tasting buffalo tongues, livers, and kidneys. Veeho, his wife, and his children feasted. They stuffed themselves until they were unable to swallow even the tiniest morsel. The snippets of buckskin formed themselves up into a dress again. It was like new when Veeho pulled it out of the kettle.

For four days in a row Veeho got rich food by cutting up and boiling his wife’s dress. Again he miscounted. He thought he had done it only three times. “Well, wife, this is the last time we can do this,” he said. “Take off your dress!” This time he did not chop up the dress but threw it whole, in one piece, into the pot. This time the dress did not turn itself into food but instantly shrank to the size of a tiny doll’s dress.

Veeho took it and brought it to the wise man. “Elder brother,” he said, “look what happened to my wife’s fine dress. It would not even fit a mouse. You taught me the wrong way.” He was not aware that he had done the dress magic five times.

“Little brother,” said the man, “you have miscounted again. You are hopeless. You will never get it right. I will not teach you any more. My wisdom is wasted upon you.”

“I guess you are right,” said Veeho. Sadly he went home to his own lodge.

{
Cheyenne
}

Veeho was walking idly, as he always does. Then he saw a man, a very powerful man. This fellow was rooting up big trees, he was that strong.

Veeho went up to this man, saying: “My friend, why are you uprooting these big trees?”

“I need them for arrow shafts, cousin,” this man answered.

“Friend, this is foolish,” said Veeho, who always likes giving unasked-for advice. “It will take a long time and much labor to carve arrow shafts out of such big trees. You should take sticks of the right length for this.”

“Cousin,” said the strong man, “I do not mean to carve these trees up. I use the whole trunk for a shaft. All other, smaller kinds of shafts are too light for my taste.”

“This is foolish talk,” said Veeho, who was getting angry. “You are lying to me. I am too smart to believe such stories.”

“Do you want me to show you how I use these trees for arrows?” said this strong fellow.

“All right, show me.”

“Well, cousin, step back. I shall aim at you.”

Veeho went back a little distance. “No,” said the man, “farther.” Veeho went farther backward. “No,” said the man again, “you are much too close for me.” Veeho went back a third time. “Still too close,” said the man.

“This fellow is trying to fool me,” thought Veeho. “He is sending me a long way off, then he will run away.” All the same he walked backward for a fourth time. He walked to the top of a hill. He stood there.

“This is far enough,” shouted the strong fellow. He took up a huge tree trunk, roots pointing forward, and hurled it toward Veeho. He did not use a bow. The tree trunk flew straight as an arrow. Veeho saw it coming. As it came hurtling through the air toward him, it made a loud, whirring noise like a whirlwind. Veeho got scared. He looked around. He saw a fox hole. Veeho was diving into it, trying to hide himself, but he could not get all the way in. His buttocks were sticking out. The trunk hit Veeho with full force. It took his buttocks right off, knocking one to one side and the other to the other side. It knocked Veeho’s buttocks pretty far.

The strong fellow walked over to see how he had done. He said: “Well, my arrow shaft flew straight.”

Veeho was crying. “Friend,” he wailed, “look what you have done! You have knocked my buttocks clean off. I need them. I need them for sitting upon.”

“Don’t make such a noise, cousin,” said the man. “I will put you together again.” He went looking for Veeho’s buttocks. He found one. He went and slammed it against Veeho’s backside. The buttock grew into its old place instantly. Then the man retrieved the second buttock and put it back where it belonged.

“I think you put my right buttock on my left side, and my left buttock on the right side,” complained Veeho.

“Well, they are where I put them,” said the strong fellow. “You must do with them as they are.”

“You sure are a good shot,” said Veeho.

Veeho went home, rubbing himself. It still hurt. In his lodge he sat down to eat. “Foolish one,” said his wife, “why are you sitting there with this pained expression on your face?”

{
Northern Cheyenne
}

Veeho was roaming, according to his nature. He came to a village full of women, but without any men. When the women saw Veeho, they were very excited to see a man. They had lived all their lives without male company. So they crowded around Veeho, fighting to get close to him, crying: “Take me, take me!”

Veeho looked them over, one after the other, saying over and over to each: “You are very pretty, but not quite pretty enough for me.” Finally he saw a dazzingly beautiful woman wearing a white, decorated buckskin robe. “You are the one!”

“Come to my lodge,” said the woman, taking Veeho by the hand.

Her lodge stood some distance apart from the village. It was a magnificent lodge made from sixteen large buffalo skins. The inner lining was covered with wonderfully quilled designs of many colors. Inside were two handsome backrests made of willow wands. Many painted parfleches were lying around, filled to bursting with pemmican and dried jerky meat. There was also a bed, large enough for two, covered with the softest, finest buffalo robes. The woman laid down on the bed. Veeho stretched out beside her. They made love. “Now you are my wife,” said Veeho. He was quite happy about the way things had turned out.

Some blissful months passed. One day Veeho went out hunting. At first he found nothing. After a long while he saw a deer. He followed it, but could not catch it. The deer lured him farther and farther away, a great distance away, in fact. Then it disappeared. Veeho saw that he had happened upon a camp of some other tribe. He went there. He found that this camp contained only men. “Cousins, where are your women?” Veeho asked.

“Women?” said the strangers. “We’ve never met a woman in all our lives, but we sure would like to meet some.”

“Then you are in luck,” said Veeho. “I come from a village full of pretty women.”

“Quick, quick, friend!” the strangers shouted. “Where’s your village?”

“I’ll lead you to it,” said Veeho. “Just give me a chance. Don’t stampede. Let me show you the way.”

The men paid no attention to Veeho. They were soon way ahead of him. They just followed his tracks back to the women’s village. In their eagerness to get to the women they were running as fast as antelopes. “Women,” they were shouting, “we’re coming, we’re coming!”

Veeho is a very slow runner. He arrived at the village hours after the strangers. He at once went to his tipi. He entered it. Inside his wife was copulating with one of the strangers. The two of them were panting and sighing. They were so busy making love they did not even notice Veeho’s presence. Veeho shook the man by the shoulder. “What do you think you’re doing? This is my wife. Get out!”

“She is my wife now,” said the man. “Get lost before I get angry.”

The man got up. He was exceedingly tall and muscular. His face was ferocious, his expression fierce. He had his weapons with him. “Better get yourself another wife,” said the man. “Get out of my lodge, or else!”

“I’m going,” said Veeho. He went into the village, looking for another wife, but they were already taken up by the strangers, every one of them. There was not a single woman left for Veeho.