An Inconvenient Obsession (11 page)

“You couldn’t be even if you wanted to,” she snapped. “You don’t know the first thing about it.”

He encompassed the studio behind them with a dismissive flick of his thumb. “Whereas all the pantywaists behind us do?”

“At least they know how to treat a woman with respect.”

“I have no doubt of that,” he teased, leaning forward to breathe his question against her ear. “So tell me, Cate. How’s that working out for you?”

An intoxicating rush of desire rose in her veins, and she lurched back a step, whacking her heel against the wall and nearly stumbling.

Ethan smiled as she regained her balance. “Badly, I take it?”

She scowled. “It was working just fine until you showed up.”

One of his square hands moved to stroke the side of her neck, brushing the skin beneath her ear with a feathery touch. “Liar.”

She shrugged off his touch. “I’m going back to the party now.”

“So soon?” he asked. He stepped closer, crowding her even farther into the corner, his breath stirring the air at her forehead. “But it’s so much more fun to spar with me than with that striped windbag out there, don’t you think?”

She tensed while a torrent of longing winnowed through her. “Why are you doing this?” she breathed while his free fingers threaded beneath the frothy capped sleeve of her costume.

His expression sobered. “Because I don’t like how we ended things.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s over. We’re over.”

Other than the light, glancing touch of his fingers against her upper arm, he didn’t move. “No, Catydid. We’re not.”

“I thought I made myself clear.” She twisted her arm from his touch, forcing firmness into her tone. “We’re finished. You had your one night, and that’s all I’m willing to give you. You hate me, and I’m okay with that. Maybe I even deserve it. But don’t ask me to spend more time with you when I know how you feel about me.”

He remained immobile, refusing to grant her the escape she so desperately wanted. Instead, he dipped his chin and studied her resolute expression. “Give me five minutes.”

Tendrils of longing curled through her limbs, tempting her to listen to him. But she shook her head and met his eyes with an implacable stare. “What would be the point?”

Leaning close enough for his breath to kiss her forehead, he whispered, “It would give me the chance to convince you that we aren’t finished yet.”

Denial warred with desire as she arched away from his nearness. “But we are.”

“We don’t have to be.”

A choked laugh rent her throat. “Yes, we do.”

“Why?”

“Why?” She held up a gloved hand, disbelief pitching her voice high. “Don’t be obtuse, Ethan. You and I both know there’s too much baggage, too many hurt feelings and too many awful things that can’t be unsaid.”

He moved until her raised hand pressed against his warm chest. “Then we start over.” He inhaled, his eyes dipping to her mouth and then returning. “We forget about the past and move forward.”

Her pulse beat erratically within her ears, urging her to give him another chance, to throw caution to the wind and indulge in the passionate affair he offered, for however long it lasted. “No,” she said, pulling her hand back to her waist. “The past won’t disappear just because you want it to.”

He nodded soberly. “You’re right. But it doesn’t have to sabotage our future, either.”

“What future?”

“A future without regrets.”

“I’ve lived with too many regrets already. And I’d be a fool if I allowed you to seduce me into more.”

“What if you don’t regret it?”

“How could I not? You haven’t forgiven me, and until you do, you’ll continue to react with distance, insincere gratitude and cruelty, no matter how many times we sleep together. You can’t ask me to open myself up to that.”

“Even if you owe it to me?”

“I owe it to you?”

Ethan answered her with silence.

“I’m sorry. But I can’t accept this … this being with you without being with you.” She blinked while her stomach twisted beneath her ribs. “It’s too hard.”

He studied her face without blinking. “I can make it easy.”

“How?”

His head tipped toward hers. “Invite me to your bed, and I’ll show you.”

“Invite you …?” She gaped at him, her thoughts reeling. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am,” he promised in a soft voice. “I plan to dismantle every one of your defenses. I won’t quit until I succeed.”

Her pulse fluttered with heated awareness. But she forced herself to remain outwardly unaffected by his outrageous words. “You’re wasting your time.”

He leaned close enough that his scent filled her nostrils, and quietly warned, “Maybe. Maybe not. I want you, and I always get what I want. Right now, I want you in my bed. Naked beneath me. Watching.”

A wave of wanting flooded her limbs, warring with the
panic that coiled deep within her stomach. “I’m not sleeping with you again.”

The challenge flared behind his eyes, then disappeared behind an inscrutable blue. “You underestimate my powers of persuasion, sweet.” He leaned to brush his mouth against her ear. “Shall we test your resistance?”

Tendrils of longing curled through her limbs, tempting her to succumb yet again. But she turned her head from his, desperately grasping for equilibrium. For sanity. “No.”

Taking advantage of her exposed ear, he dipped to whisper, “How about I tell you all the ways I plan to convince you otherwise?”

Fear and arousal joined the battle as she inched another step backward. “No.”

“I’ll start by talking about your hair,” he murmured, his strong fingers and thumbs sliding along her neck toward her upswept hair. “And how I intend to drag its satiny ends over your bare skin.” He reached for a loose tendril that curled over her collarbone and the backs of his knuckles brushed the ridge of her jaw. “I plan to paint your breasts with this platinum silk until you arch beneath my hand and beg for the pull of my mouth.”

She wanted to refuse him, to push him away, but her limbs wouldn’t cooperate. Instead, she merely stood frozen while her pulse beat erratically within her ears, deep within her womb and against a rib cage that felt ten sizes too small.

“And then I’ll talk about the sweet wine of your mouth.” His thumb lifted to skim the curve of her lower lip, tugging it down to caress the sensitive inner flesh. “I’d tell of how I dream of your lips, of how I take your tongue into my mouth and taste you in my sleep.”

She swallowed thickly, her breath deteriorating into shallow, uneven pants.

“I want to consume you, Cate, to lick and taste and devour every glorious inch of you.”

Why do you think I’m so scared?

“I want your scent on my skin.” His nostrils flared and he leaned closer, his low voice lulling her into drugged compliance. “I want your mouth on me. I want to bury myself in your heat until I can think of nothing beyond the pleasure we share. I want to feel your pulse around me and know you’re mine.”

You’ve already given him your virginity
, a small voice wheedled.
As long as you don’t love him again, how much worse can it get?

It can, and you know it.

Every cell screamed at her brain to be quiet, to lose herself in the terrifying, intoxicating things he did to her body. She wanted the touch of his fingers, the silky rasp of his tongue within her mouth, on her flesh. Inside her.

But that would never be enough, and she knew it. The hunger to feel his bare skin, to explore the coves and hollows of his naked body, was more than a simple, containable physical need. It was more than mere lust, and she’d be lost if she allowed herself to forget that fact.

She forced her listing eyelids to remain open and locked her knees to keep from swaying toward him. “Stop it, Ethan.”

His breath heated her trembling lips, close but not touching. “I haven’t even done anything, sweet.”

Mustering her resolve, she forced herself to stiffen. To withdraw. “You’re talking,” she said, pushing against his chest until he straightened. “And I want you to stop.”

He stared at her for a long, quiet moment, her fractured breath beating the air between them. “I may not seduce you tonight, but I will take my pleasure with you, Cate. And you’re going to allow it because you want me as much as I want you. Our night together proved it.”

The memory of what he’d done to her, of what she’d allowed
him to do, fired her neck and face with unbearable heat. “It proved nothing beyond a mutual curiosity, ten years in the making,” she said.

Taking in her blush, his mouth quirked in amusement. “Right. And you’re not remotely curious to see how much better it can be between us, now that you’re no longer a virgin.”

“My curiosity has already been satisfied, thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome,” he quipped.

The flames of arousal licked lower, making the heavy velvet of her dress feel far too warm. “I liked you better when you weren’t so cocky,” she managed, hoping her flippant remark would distract him from the flushed readiness of her skin.

“With good reason,” he agreed without compunction. “You had much more control of me then.”

“Well, I’m not impressed with the new you,” she insisted. “I far prefer a bit of give and take with a man. You know, a man who takes what I want into consideration.”

“Then why are you alone?”

His blue eyes, bright in their intensity, demanded that she answer truthfully. But truth was the last thing she could afford. “Because I choose to be.”

“Because no one is good enough for Cate Carrington?”

She huffed out an exasperated breath. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Tell me why, then.”

“You’re only interested because I haven’t immediately fallen under your spell and then begged you to save me from my life of self-imposed solitude.”

An arched brow met the challenge of her words.

“Look, I know you won’t take me against my will, so all this posturing is getting you nowhere. I will never agree to
sleep with you of my own volition. You may as well accept it now.”

“Then you’d better grow accustomed to telling me no. Repeatedly.”

“Don’t think I won’t.”

“If you don’t send me away in the next five seconds,” he said, “I’ll interpret it as tacit permission to ravage you right where we stand.”

A crazy mix of emotions spiraled through her—amusement, arousal, irritation and stubborn rebellion. Ethan had never been arrogant before, but she found the intensity of his self-confidence both disturbing and attractive. If for nothing else, she hesitated the specified five seconds simply because she wanted to see just how far his bravado would carry him.

“Time’s up,” he breathed, moving close.

She opened her mouth to dismiss him, but he bent his head and caught her words with a kiss. He drugged her with its intensity, taking advantage of her surprise to delve deep, to suck and lick and nibble until her resistance melted like warm sap from her pliant limbs.

Only then did he draw back, his breath lifting the fine hairs at her temple. His long fingers moved to stroke the side of her neck, brushing the skin beneath her ear with a feathery touch. “Change your mind yet?”

Bemused by the teasing note in his voice, she lifted heavy lids to meet his gaze. His mouth, normally crooked in a sardonic curve, looked almost relaxed. But his eyes were anything but. She felt as if she were the prey to his predator, caught in a web of pleasure so intense, she craved capture. “You know I haven’t,” she finally whispered.

He dipped his head to kiss her again, until her breath hitched hard in her chest and her sense of propriety blurred. Again, he withdrew. Again, he looked at her as if he wanted
to consume her. “The proper response is, ‘Why yes, Ethan, I think I have.’” He waited while she blinked at him, bewildered and aroused and speechless. At her continued silence, he said, “I see I need to work harder to convince you.” His head lowered again, only this time, his hands trailed from her neck to her shoulders, down to her capped sleeves and the band of bare flesh above her gloves. His thumbs, those long, clever thumbs, strayed inward to brush tight, constricting spirals around her peaked nipples.

She reared back with an astonished squeak, gripping his wrists and pressing his hands away while flames heated her face and chest. Frantic, she peered over his shoulder to see if they’d been seen. “You can’t do that here!”

The blue in his eyes deepened to cobalt and his wrists slowly rotated within her weakening grip. “Then let’s go somewhere where we can.”

“Ethan!”

His hands broke free, then rose to grip the sides of her head while dizzy longing and trembling anticipation gathered in her veins. “Tell me you want me,” he repeated.

Realizing he’d suffer no compunction at all with seducing her in public, she admitted, “Wanting you is not the issue and you know it.”

“Say it anyway,” he ordered, tipping her head back until her throat was exposed to his unrelenting command. He pressed a hot kiss against the pulse point in her neck and she shivered. “Let me hear it, Cate.”

Too lost in the fire of arousal to resist, she repeated, “I want you.”

His mouth tracked a scorching trail along her collarbone, then rose to nip at her earlobe. “How much?”

“Too much.” Her hands fluttered up to his head. Dragged his mouth to hers.

He obliged her silent plea with a few more moments of
delicious ravaging that soon had her backed up tight within the corner and her breath coming in short, choppy gasps. She could feel the tensile length of his erection against her abdomen, could feel her own rising need to join with him. He nudged her up onto her toes, his hips grinding a slow, seductive circle against hers. “Let’s get out of here,” he whispered into her panting mouth.

Alarmed by her lack of control, she pushed against his chest, trying to create space between their fused bodies. Trying to reclaim her equilibrium.
What is he doing to me?
“I can’t,” she protested, even as her fingers splayed helplessly over the contours of his chest.

“You can.” He pressed against her fingers, until the tips of her breasts grazed the backs of her hands. “Come with me. Let me take you away from this place.”