Anna (Book 2, The Redemption Series) (11 page)

“
Why don’t you take a look around? I need to go speak with Malcolm’s butler, Giles, and let him know we’re here. Are you hungry?”

“
I could use something to eat,” I admit, even though satiating such a small necessity forms a knot of guilt in the pit of my stomach. I’m certain Malcolm isn’t being offered water much less food. My kiss has probably worn off by now too. I pray his body had time to heal the majority of the damage done to his back by Levi’s whip before he woke up.

“
I won’t be gone long,” Jered tells me as he heads for the door in the room and strolls out.

As
I walk around Malcolm’s study, I run the tips of my fingers against the leather bound volumes lining his bookshelves. I feel as though I’m getting to know him a little better even though he isn’t physically with me. It’s apparent books are very important to him since he keeps so many nearby. There isn’t a single place in the room where I can’t imagine Malcolm being.

I
can easily visualize him standing by any of these bookcases thumbing through the pages of a book. I can imagine him sitting behind his desk writing a correspondence or turned around in his chair peering thoughtfully out at the city outside his window. I notice two wing back chairs sitting across from a matching sofa in front of the unlit fireplace and recognize something very familiar, a chessboard. It’s the same type of holographic board he had in his Lakewood home. I sit down in one of the chairs and run my hand over it, instantly conjuring up the holograms representing the black and white pieces.

I hear two sets of footfalls approaching the room and run my hand over the board again to turn it off. I stand from the chair just as Jered enters with Malcolm’s butler
coming in right behind him.

When Jered said he was going to talk to Giles the butler, for some reason I envisioned an elderly man with white hair and a stiff demeanor. The man walking by Jered’s side exhibits neither of those traits.
He’s handsome and looks to be in his late twenties or early thirties. Giles has a serious look about him but not one that is off putting. His short hair and intense eyes are both brown. The mustache and goatee on his face are neatly trimmed, and he’s wearing casual clothing consisting of a dark blue cable knit sweater, blue jeans and black rubber boots that reach up to his knees.

“
Giles,” Jered says as they come to stand in front of me, “I would like to introduce you to Empress Anna.”

Giles bows at the waist to me.
“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Empress.”

I hold my hand out to Giles. He looks surprised
by the gesture but doesn’t make a big deal out of it.

As he shakes my hand I say,
“It’s nice to meet you, Giles. Though, I have to admit when Jered said you were Malcolm's butler I was expecting someone much older.”

Giles grins like this is something he’s heard others say before.

“My family has served Malcolm for a very long time, your majesty. I simply inherited the job from my father like he did from his father and so on.”

“
Please, Giles, just call me Anna. I have a feeling you and I will be around each other a lot in the coming years. It's good to know Malcolm has had people who have taken such good care of him for that long.”

“
We’ve tried our best, Anna,” Giles replies with a smile. I think he feels privileged that I'm allowing him to be so informal with me. “Jered said you would like something to eat. Are you hungry for anything in particular?”

“
Just something light. I don’t have much of an appetite, but my stomach feels like it might rebel against the rest of my body if I don’t feed it soon. Something quick and easy will do. So, please, don’t put yourself out on my account.”

Giles bows to me again.
“I’ll be right back. Something quick and easy coming up.”

Giles walks out of the room
, and I look over at Jered.

“
Why was he wearing those boots? He looked like he was about to go wading in a river or something.”

“
He was in the stables cleaning out the horse stalls when I found him,” Jered says as his eyes look down at the chessboard. “Do you play?”

“
I can play well enough to lose all the time,” I say with a sigh of disappointment in myself. Then, I have a brilliant idea. “Do you happen to be any good at it?”

“
Yes,” Jered says with a small smile. “Anyone who spends much time around Malcolm picks up a thing or two about the game.”

“
Do you think you could teach me some strategy so I can be better?” I ask eagerly. “I want to be able to play with Malcolm without losing within a few short minutes. I think it disappoints him to not have an opponent who provides a challenge.”

“
I can definitely try my best to teach you what I know,” Jered says, sitting in the chair he’s standing by while I retake my previous seat.

Jered and I play for a while until Giles brings some food for us to eat. The meal is a basic one of beef stew with carrots and potatoes
. He also brings up a plate of biscuits with some sweet tea to wash it all down with. I surprise myself by eating everything Giles brought up for me. I realize I must have been hungrier than I thought.

“
You should probably get some rest,” Jered tells me after we eat. “We have a few hours yet before we have to meet Levi for the trade, and I have a few details I need to work out before we meet with him anyway.”

“
Do you think you're plan will work?” I ask, already knowing what Jered and the others were planning to do to ensure we got everyone back safely.

“
I have no reason to believe it won't,” he replies. “Come on. You look dead on your feet. You need to get some sleep before the trade.”

Jered escorts me
to a bedroom a few doors down from the study. As soon as I step into it, I know it’s Malcolm’s personal bedroom.

“
I thought you might like to stay in his room,” Jered tells me. “I know Malcolm would want you to.”

“
Thank you,” I say as I walk further into the space, feeling Malcolm’s presence surround me like a warm blanket.

“
I’ll come and wake you if you aren’t already up when it’s time to meet Levi,” Jered promises me.

“
All right. Thank you, Jered.”

Jered closes the door
, and I’m left alone in Malcolm’s bedroom.

It’s a large room
, but it has to be to accommodate the massive four poster bed sitting against the left wall. The bed looks fit for a king with its hand carved wood frame and canopy. Heavy gold and maroon drapes are bunched at all four corners but look like they could be easily drawn together if the occupant lying inside wanted some privacy. I see that Giles has been in the room already because there is a roaring fire in the fireplace providing the space a warmth that is soothing. He must have thought I would want to change into something more comfortable to sleep in also. What I have to assume is one of Malcolm’s shirts is lying on the turned down bed covers.

I walk over and pick the
blue button down shirt up, bringing it to my nose and inhaling its just laundered freshness. I quickly shed my clothes and put it on. It’s too big for me, of course, but it almost makes me feel like Malcolm is holding me. After I slip underneath the covers, I wrap my arms around one of the big, fluffy pillows there and pretend that I’m holding Malcolm instead. I don’t find sleep right away. As I look around the room, I notice something white peeking out from underneath a book on the nightstand beside the bed. I reach out a hand and pull on the sheet of paper.

It’s a hand written letter
, and I notice Malcolm’s signature scrawled at the bottom of it. Just as I’m about to return it to its rightful place, not wanting to intrude into his privacy, I happen to glance up to the top of the letter and see that it’s addressed to me. I immediately sit straight up in the bed and begin to read it.

Dear
Anna,

We
met for the first time tonight and the experience has left me shattered. I’m sitting here in my bed wondering what you’re doing, wondering if you’re thoughts are centered on me as mine are on you, and wondering if I should return to you because not being by your side is tearing me apart. My mind is racing with the implications of our connection and sleep alludes me. I find it almost impossible to believe that someone I’ve refused to even look at all these years is actually my soul mate. How could I have been such a fool for so long? Yet, perhaps our meeting was destined to be put off until now.

I can’t help but think y
ou deserve a man better than me to give your love to, and I don’t understand why my father would have you settle for someone with such a checkered past.

I’ve done some terrible things in my time, Anna. I’ve tortured
those who didn’t deserve it. I’ve killed for sport and menaced the innocent just to see them cower in fear of me. There are literally thousands of sins that I’ve committed over the years that I had to earn forgiveness for. But, no matter how much good I do, it never seems like enough to make up for the horrors I’ve perpetrated in my past.

You are
a chance at a new beginning for me, a new life. A war is raging inside me right now as I try to decide whether or not to simply accept the gift of you or to turn away from this opportunity and force you to find someone who is more worthy of your love. I feel as though I owe you the opportunity to find happiness with someone else because I’m not completely sure you will ever find it with me. I am not an easy man to get along with. Hell, most of the time I don’t even like myself. How could I expect you to love someone who can’t even do something as simple as that?

I have a feeling my father wants me to take a leap of faith with you. I’m simply not sure I’m strong enough to do that. I have a lot to work out first
, and you shouldn’t have to be a part of that. I feel sorry for you in a way. I feel sorry that you got stuck with someone like me for a soul mate. I can’t imagine you’ve done anything in your life to deserve such a miserable fate. I’m not even sure why I’m writing a letter that I have no intention of ever letting you see. I suppose I just needed to find some way to work through my conflicting emotions and sort out what I truly feel and think.

I never thought I could love anyone more than Lilly
.

But,
Anna, I think I could love you a thousand times more…

Malcolm

I read the letter over and over until my eyes simply can’t stay open any longer
. I fall into a blissful slumber, clutching Malcolm’s letter to my chest and drifting off to sleep with the promise of love from the strongest man I know.

Chapter 9

I wake with a start. As my eyes take in my environment, my mind readjusts to the fact that I’m in Malcolm’s bedroom and lying in his enormous four-poster bed. I still have the letter he wrote to me clutched firmly to my chest. I loosen my grasp on the missive and read the very last sentence again.

But,
Anna, I think I could love you a thousand times more…

My heart sings with the joy those words bring, and they make me more determined to get my man back.

I quickly put my clothes on, leaving Malcolm’s shirt lying on the bed. I hope by that night’s end we’ll be sharing a bed together. I don’t care where it is. All I know is that I want to feel Malcolm’s arms holding me close. I need him to tell me everything will be all right and that things will work out as they should.

I still have doubts about handing Levi back his brothers. The smart thing to do would be to kill them all
while we still have them, but the results of such an act could destroy me in more ways than one. The simple fact was that it would be murder to kill the other princes while they were still in stasis. In time, I might be able to forgive myself for committing those murders, but I doubted it. In truth, it was the second reason that prompted me to go through with the deal the most. I would never be able to live with myself if Levi killed Lucas, Millie, or my papa because of my duplicity. His torture of Malcolm and execution of Vala was bad enough. Even if I gathered the seals from the princes now and finished God's mission, I would have paid too high a price to get the job done.

No, this was the right thing to do. And Jered’s
back-up plan to guarantee we got back those we love should work.

As I strap the
sword onto my back, I turn to leave the room but notice something else lying on Malcolm’s nightstand where I found the note. It’s the silver pin in the shape of a lily he wore the night of the wedding celebration. I pick it up and stare at it for a moment. It makes me wonder what happened to make Malcolm finally give me his heart. Or had he completely let Lilly go? I wasn’t sure. I do know one thing though. I know I have his love. I have absolutely no doubt about that fact. I put the pin back where I found it and leave the room.

Malcolm’s home in New Orleans is as large as any palace. I pass room after room as I make my way down the hallway until I come to one that
catches my eye and makes me come to an abrupt halt. The door to this room is unlike any of the others because it’s been painted. I stare at the mural, trying to make out what I’m seeing within the gold, maroon, and dark blue hues. The longer I stare, the more images I’m able to make out buried within the painting itself by a skilled hand to make them appear as a cohesive whole, instead of simple portraits which stand out on their own. I see the faces of my Watcher protectors and reach out a hand when I find Malcolm’s visage at the center of them all. I look down the length of the door. Hidden away near the bottom, like the painter didn’t want anyone to notice it readily, was an image of Lucifer.

I
turn the knob to open the door and step into the room.

Even though the room is filled with furniture, a loneliness permeates the air like it hasn’t been lived in for a very long time.
I stand in the doorway unsure I want to venture further in until I see something on the nightstand by the wrought iron bed that interests me.

I walk over and pick up a holo-projector.
It’s a simple gadget used to store captured images and video. I touch the screen of the handheld crystal device and an image from the last video played appears on the display. I feel the salty burn of tears as I look at the woman staring back at me. I had a feeling this was my mother’s room, and the smiling picture of her on the screen of the holo-projector has confirmed my suspicion.

I take in a deep breath and touch the image
so it will play.

Holo-projectors transform any space you’re in to play back videos like you’re experiencing them in person. The only thing you have to be careful about is moving around while one is playing. The physical objects in
the room don’t move. They're simply camouflaged by the projected video. I was always told to stand still while one was on unless I was confident I wouldn’t run into anything.

The scene I find myself in is of a sunny day
with a clear blue sky overhead. I’m standing in a forest but the trees are bare of leaves. The ground is covered by a light dusting of snow, and the sound of a woman’s laughter rings through the still air. I turn around to find my mother running towards me. She’s even more beautiful than the portrait I used to have of her in my chambers back in Cirrus. Her dark, wavy brown hair flows behind her like a silky mane as she runs. She reaches up to her dark blue knitted scarf tucked underneath the collar of her coat to pull it just below her chin.

“
There’s nowhere you can run where I wouldn’t be able to find you,” I hear a familiar male voice say behind her.

I lift my gaze and see Lucifer quickly catching up to my mother. She laughs even harder
when she looks over her shoulder at him. I watch as he grabs the back of her coat to stop her. My mother loses her footing and begins to tumble to the ground, but Lucifer phases in beneath her and cushions her fall. My mother giggles and looks down at him while he smiles up at her with such pure joy it completely transforms his face into someone I almost don’t recognize.

“
Thank you,” she tells him, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. “It probably wouldn’t have been a good thing for me to fall in my condition.”

Lucifer looks confused.

“Your condition?” He asks. “Are you ill? If you are, you shouldn’t be out in this weather. It’ll only make things worse.”

My mother shakes her head at him and smiles.
“No, I’m not sick.”

“
Then what’s wrong?” He asks, lifting a hand to tuck the left side of her hair behind her ear. “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

“
Just love me,” she replies.

“
That I will always be able to do. But, tell me what’s wrong so I can do more.”

“
You’ve done quite enough, husband,” my mother says as her smile turns shy. “In fact, you’re the reason I’m in the condition I find myself in.”

Lucifer still looks confused, but when my mother’s smile practically lights up her face, I can see realization dawn as his expression changes to one of disbelief.

“You’re pregnant?” He asks, as if needing her verbal confirmation of the fact.

My mother nods.
“Yes. We’re going to have a baby girl.”

Lucifer rolls his eyes.
“And of course our first child will have to be a girl. Your family is famous for them.”

My mother
pinches Lucifer playfully on the arm, but it seems to actually cause him a bit of pain because he flinches.

“
And if we didn’t, I might have never been born,” my mother reminds him.

Lucifer smiles and lifts his hands to cup
one side of my mother’s face.

“
The day you were brought into this world was the happiest day of my life. I just didn’t know it at the time. But when our daughter is born, we can share in that happiness together and be able to relive that memory for the rest of our lives.”

My mother lowers her head and kisses Lucifer. He kisses her back fervently
, and I look away because I feel as though I’m violating a moment that was meant to only be shared between the two of them.

“
I should get you back home and out of this cold,” I hear Lucifer say.

I return my gaze to my parents and see them rise from the snow covered ground.

“One second,” my mom says, walking over to one of the trees and bending down to retrieve the holo-projector I hold in my hands. She turns around and holds it up to show Lucifer. “I wanted to save the moment to show to our daughter one day. I hope you don’t mind.”

Lucifer holds out a hand to my mother which she readily
accepts.

“
Of course I don’t mind. I want her to know how happy you made me today.”

My mother throws her arms around Lucifer’s neck and kisses him soundly on the lips.

The image fades, and I find myself standing in my mother’s room again.

I lay the holo-projector back down on the nightstand and leave the room. I’m curious to know what else is on there, but for some reason, I feel like it would be a violation of my mother’s memories. I know she wanted me to see that one video and that’s enough for me right now. I
t was strange to see Lucifer so happy. It’s a side of his personality I never would have thought existed if I hadn’t seen it with my own two eyes. Millie told me once that when Lucifer was with my mother he was a completely different person. What I just witnessed seemed to support her opinion. If he could be that man once, perhaps he could be the man I just saw again one day. Surely even the devil wanted to feel joy in his life instead of anger and hate.

I walk out of the room and firmly close the door behind me.

“I see you found Amalie’s room,” I hear Jered say.

I look up the hallway and see him walking from the direction of Malcolm’s bedroom. I assume he probably went there
first to find me which can only mean one thing.

“
Is it almost time to meet Levi?” I ask.

Jered nods.
“Yes, almost. I was just coming to wake you. Would you like to get something to eat before we go?”

I shake my head.
“No, I’m not hungry. Even if I were, I don’t think I could eat. My stomach is all tied up in knots as it is.”

“
Don’t worry,” Jered says, but I can detect a note of that emotion in his own voice. “We’ll get them back.”

“
Alive, I hope.”

“
Everything will work out,” Jered says with a reassuring smile.

“
Even if we get Lucas, Malcolm, and Millie back, there’s no guarantee he’ll ever release my papa.”

“
Levi won’t kill Andre,” Jered says with more confidence. “He knows your father’s safety is the only thing keeping him alive. Levi might act brave, but deep down underneath that snarky, all knowing attitude of his he's essentially a coward.”

“
I know that. And he’s the one prince I have no intention of giving a chance to live, Jered. He’s done too much for me to allow him to stay alive.”

“
I won’t stop you when the time comes,” Jered tells me. “Unfortunately, that time isn’t today.”

“
He’s not going to like what we’re planning to do,” I tell Jered, worried that we might be making a mistake.

“
Well, we’re not exactly giving him a choice. We know we’ll keep our end of the bargain, but Levi doesn’t live by any sort of moral code. He’ll do what he wants. This way we can keep him on a short leash and force him to do what he promised.”

“
I just hope it doesn’t backfire,” I say, worried now about what Jered wants to do.

“
If he hurts any of them, he gets nothing,” Jered says. “I don’t think he’ll be that stupid.”

“
I hope you’re right.”

Jered looks at the door to my mother’s room.
“Did you find anything interesting in there?”

“
A holo-projector,” I admit.

“
Amalie liked to watch videos while she was bedridden during the pregnancy.”

“
I saw the one where she told Lucifer she was pregnant. They looked so happy together.”

“
I think it broke her heart when he stopped visiting her.”

“
Stopped visiting her?” I ask in surprise. “Why?”

“
He was mad, an emotion Lucifer has always had a hard time keeping under control. He wanted your mother to get rid of you so she wouldn’t die.”

“
He wanted her to abort me?”

Jered nods.
“He told her they didn’t need to have a child to be happy. He tried to convince her that all they needed was each other. But, Amalie was stubborn. I think she was the most stubborn out of all the descendants, at least that’s what Malcolm always said. She insisted that you had a special purpose and had to be born no matter what the cost.”

“
How did she know I would be the descendant all of you were waiting on to be born?”

“
I’m not sure what Amalie knew. She never said anything else about what she thought you were meant to do. All I know is that you were the most precious thing to her and no one else mattered as much to her as you did. I wish you had been given the chance to know her.”

“
Do you think she would be proud of me? Do you think she would approve of the way I turned out?”

“
Of that I have no doubt,” Jered says, an expression of pride on his face as he looks at me. “We’re all proud of you, Anna. You’ve exceeded any of our expectations.”

Jered’s face looks slightly troubled.
“It’s time.”