Anti-Stepbrother (8 page)

“She knows our parents are married.”

“Oh.” He sounded surprised now. “You told her about me.”

“She knew, but—” My mouth was suddenly dry, and my palms were sweaty. I rubbed them together. “Why wouldn’t I?”
What is going on here?
“Am I not supposed to tell people?”

“About you and me?” he asked.

I leaned forward. Did he mean…

He continued, pointing between us, “That we’re stepsiblings, right? Everyone has to know my goddamn business. I don’t really know why you’re talking about me at all.” His hands went back into his pockets. He rocked back on his heels. “Besides, we were more housemates, really. That was it.”

I knew this, but still felt slapped in the face. “Housemates.”

“Yeah. I mean, yeah.” He frowned, acting like he was so confused. “I didn’t even know you before our parents got married. And that one year we lived together, I was barely around, and you were always in your bedroom. We never got close. Then last year I was hardly home. Like, ever.”

Except for that one night
, I added silently.
When you went out to a graduation party with my friends and me. When you got drunk with me. When we went home and kissed, and did more than I want to think about right now. You were hardly home, except for that one night.

I looked down. “I see.”

He coughed again, his feet shuffling on the sidewalk. “And I really love Maggie. I really do, but you see, she’s with that Marcus guy for now, and Marcus comes from a big-name family around here. His dad is a legacy legend in the fraternity, and even though Marcus isn’t a member, his brother Caden is one of my brothers. It’s just sticky. If they ever find out what you really saw that night—”

I started laughing. Maybe I shouldn’t have. Maybe it was wrong, but it began to bubble up inside me, and I couldn’t stop. The joke was on me, but it was on him, too. He didn’t think people knew. Everyone knew!

“What?”

I shook my head, still laughing. My shoulders started to shake. “Nothing. It’s—” More laughter. “Nothing. I’m sorry.”

But I couldn’t stop, and he glared at me, anger evident in his eyes.

After a few more beats, I was able to calm myself. “Is this what you did in high school? Do you really think you’re not going to get caught? You don’t realize everyone already knows?”

“What do you mean?”

“You date a girl, then at the five-month mark, you get bored. You start looking around for a new girl. Then you date both girls, thinking the girlfriend won’t know, but she always does. It’s
always
a nasty break-up. Everyone knew about it at school—”

“They did?”

“Yeah. And I’m sure you thought you were in love with them too, just like Maggie now. But Kevin, are you serious? People know. You brought her to the restaurant.”

“I don’t have another girlfriend now. And this town is big enough. I didn’t think it’d matter if she came to dinner or not.”

“Whatever. But she’s got a boyfriend. He went to your frat house the other night, looking for her. He knew she would be with you. Your fraternity brothers and I are the only reasons you didn’t get caught. How much longer do you think this will last? I mean, be realistic.”

He scratched his head again and shrugged. “I don’t know. We’re going to be more careful.”

I thought I’d take a stab at this. “You’re going to be together in her room and not yours?”

I thought he’d laugh and give me a more detailed plan of action. I thought he’d say,
Oh, no
, and proceed from there. He didn’t.

There was silence instead, and I had a second realization for this evening. The stepbrother I had loved, or thought I’d loved, for so long was a moron. There was no other way to explain his stupidity.

“Are you serious?” I asked. “That’s your plan? Instead of hanging out in your room, where Marcus actually wouldn’t have a reason to drop by, you’re going to hang out in her room, where he does have a reason to go. Because, you know, it’s his
girlfriend’s
room.”

“No.” Kevin shook his head, taking another step backward. “I mean, of course that’s not our plan. But Caden’s at my place. He lives there too.”

I snored. “You think Caden’s going to hang out in your room?”

Kevin didn’t reply right away. He seemed to mull things over before he asked, “What do you mean by that?”

I wanted to smack myself in the forehead. “He covered for you that night. He didn’t let Marcus inside.”

“He didn’t know—”

I cut in. “He knew. Trust me, he knew.”

“What do you mean?”

“I—”

No. I wasn’t doing this. I wasn’t going to explain that Caden had caught me, or questioned me, or given me a ride home from Marcus’ party. That was none of Kevin’s business, and even though it stung to admit it, he and Maggie weren’t my business either—except for the fact that I had COVERED FOR HIM!
Okay. Breathe, Summer. Breathe. Calm down.

I counted down from ten to one, then tuned him out. If he said something during my calming time, it fell on deaf ears.

He was driving me nuts.

My feelings were still there, buried deep in my chest, but my God, I was learning how exasperating he could be at the same time. I couldn’t wait until those feelings were gone. I had a feeling I’d be looking at life in a new way.

Deep breath. Calming thoughts. Think Zen. Buddha. Boring-ass music. Yoga. Anything to lower your heart rate.

“You okay?”

“What?” I refocused and saw he was watching my hands. I looked down. I’d been fanning myself. “Oh. Yeah. I’m fine.”

He glanced behind him. “You know, it’s weird talking to you about this.”

“You don’t say.” No sarcasm there. Not one bit.

He nodded. “Listen, in case you run into Maggie or Marcus again, he’s not a bad guy. I don’t want you to think that, because he and his brother are popular on campus.” He lifted a shoulder. “Not that I’m not, but I’m not in their league. You don’t have to hate the guy or anything. I know you’re in my camp.”

I stifled a groan.

He continued as if he hadn’t heard me. “You know what I mean.” He peered at me, blinking a few times. “You’re going into sports medicine?”

My head moved back an inch. “You know my major?” Or my soon-to-be/I was hoping to declare major.

I lifted a hand to my chest. I’d talked to him about that graduation night. I hadn’t realized he’d actually been listening. He’d seemed focused on removing my shirt.

“My mom told me.”

“Oh.”

There was that then.

“Marcus is sports medicine too. You’re probably going to see him.”

That clicked.

He smiled for the first time tonight. “I don’t want to make things awkward for you.”

Awkward. For me. “How thoughtful of you.”

His smile grew, and he finally crossed to where I sat on the steps.

“Come on.” He motioned for me to stand. “Let’s hug it out.”

He held me to his chest, murmuring in my ear, “You know, it is nice to have you here.”

My throat burned again. He said that like it had
just
occurred to him.

“Thank you.”

He gave me one more squeeze before he stepped back, offering a crooked grin as he raked a hand through his hair. “I’m glad we had this talk. We should meet up for dinner every now and then. That might be fun.”

Dinner. Every now and then. That
might
be fun.

I’d come to college thinking I’d be with him, and turned out his plan was that we “should meet up for dinner every now and then.”

This entire talk felt like one giant punch to my face.

“I owe you an apology. Again.”

I heard this as two feet stopped next to me. A large textbook and notebook dropped onto the grass with a muted thud, and I glanced up in time to see a pair of bare legs bend.

I was attempting to study on the east quad’s lawn between two of my classes. It had been a week since school started, and everything was going great. Well, almost everything. My classes were easy so far, but I hadn’t really clicked with anyone I’d met yet. A few of my floormates had ordered pizza and binge-watched
Dirty Dancing
,
The Breakfast Club
, and
Pitch Perfect
the other night. I went. I’d enjoyed a slice of cheese pizza, and I’d been humming “Cups” nonstop ever since, but mostly it had all been…dull.

I was dull.

I didn’t know what my problem with that was. Clarissa and I had been dull in high school. May hadn’t been, but we were, and we were okay with it. But now… The girls on my floor were nice. They were steady, tame. Okay, they were boring. And I should’ve loved hanging out with them.
I should’ve
←the two operative words.

Instead I almost loathed it.

I’d been leaving during the Barden Bellas’ grand finale when I’d heard laughter coming from the bathroom. Avery had come out, and she wasn’t alone. Shell, Claudia, and two others whose names I still didn’t remember had trailed behind. They all saw me. Avery had waved, giving me a friendly smile, and Shell and one of the other girls did as well. Claudia didn’t. She hadn’t flipped me off or anything; she just didn’t care. Her face had been a mask, and I’d stared a bit longer at her than necessary. Avery noticed, and she’d looked between us as they all headed out. I recognized the backpacks and pre-loaded water bottles, and I guessed they were going to another party. Maybe even another one Caden’s brother was throwing.

They’d left, and I’d turned to go to my room. I’d been planning on going to bed, but I couldn’t deny the feeling inside of me.

I’d wanted to go with them.

I didn’t want to watch
The Breakfast Club
or
Sixteen Candles
on my weekends like my floormates and a lot of my freshman classmates seemed to. I didn’t want to order pizza—at least not on a Friday or Saturday night. Maybe during Satur
day
, when I was hungover after I’d been living it up. That’s what I wanted, but Claudia had stopped me from reaching out.

I couldn’t say anything, I couldn’t do anything because of her. Bitch. I’d be stupid to try to enter her world of friends again, not when I was a lowly freshman. So I’d watched them go.

Avery settled in next to me in the grass now, her books ignored at her side. She had a determined look in her eye.

“Claudia,” she said.

“What about her?”

“She has this disorder.”

“Really?”

“It’s called Bitchitis.” Avery’s shoulder lifted up and down in a breath. “She was a bitch to you after we went out that time, wasn’t she?”

She didn’t wait for my response.

“I saw how you looked at her in the hallway this weekend, and I cornered her later. I made her tell me what happened. She didn’t explain everything. I’m sure of that, but it was enough. I can read between the lines. I’m really sorry, Summer.”

“Oh.” I had no clue what to say now.

“I’m not making excuses for her, and she
will
apologize to you too, but some of her attitude was to protect Shell. She thinks if you’re around, Kevin will be around. She doesn’t want that.”

I sat back. “Well, after that ringing endorsement…” I laughed, looking away. The sound was hollow. “I mean, wow.”

“You should know something else, but you can’t tell because the other girls don’t know.”

I regarded her again. “What?”

“She dated your stepbrother. She was two girls before Maggie.”

“Wait. Shell dated him too, right?”

She nodded. “She doesn’t know about Claudia. And Claudia didn’t know about Shell until the summer. She felt horrible when she found out. I’m the only one who knows, and now you too. Please don’t say anything. Kevin dated a ton of girls last year, and he had everyone keep quiet, saying some bullshit line about how he’s private about things.”

I grunted, tugging on the bottom of my shirt. “Yeah. People are idiots sometimes.”

“That’s why you haven’t come with us the other times I’ve invited you, isn’t it? Because of Claudia.”

I nodded.

I could feel another invitation coming my way, and I wasn’t sure what to do. I shifted, wrapping my arms around my knees, and I held tight to my jeans.

“You don’t have to, but the girls and I are part of this program called Community Core Services, and a couple other groups on campus teamed up with us for this big flamingo fundraiser. I was just going to one of the meetings. We’ll all be driving around, handing out flyers.” She bit her lip. “You want to come?”

There it was.

I didn’t know what a flamingo fundraiser was, and I had no intention of finding out, but at that moment, two freshman girls from our floor passed us on the sidewalk. They waved, their bags slung over their backs, and I recognized the look in their eyes. Fear.

They were feeling the freshman fear—fear of getting to class, fear about finding friends, fear of being rejected, being alone, having no one else.

I changed my mind.

“I’m in,” I told Avery.

I wouldn’t be afraid. I
was
going to have friends. I wasn’t going to be alone.