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Authors: Barbara Justice

Anything But Mine (6 page)

BOOK: Anything But Mine
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“He’s got a ton on his plate right now. He’s probably so overwhelmed with running his father’s business, and helping his mom take care of everything at home. Maybe you should just fly out there again and surprise him.”

 

“But what if he really
doesn’t
want to see me?”

 

“It’s a chance you have to take, Jen,” Catherine replied. “If he wants to see you, he’ll be happy. And if he doesn’t want to see you, then at least you’ll know where you stand, and you can get on with your life with a clear head.”

 

Jen pondered Catherine’s advice while aimlessly pushing the food around on her plate with her fork. “You’re probably right, it’s better to know one way or the other. I just don’t know if I can take it if he rejects me. I feel like I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster the last few months.”

 

“Then make it seem really casual, like you have to be out there anyway for some sort of business reason. I heard the Organic Beauty people are looking for a new “face”. Maybe you can have Mike arrange a meeting with them. They’re based in San Francisco, aren’t they?”

 

Catherine’s suggestion gave Jen a glimmer of hope. “Yes, they are. That’s a good idea, Cath. I’ll talk to Mike about it tomorrow.”

The following week, Jen stretched her legs as she settled into her first class window seat for her flight to San Francisco, thinking back to when she called Drew to tell him she would be in California on business.

 

At first, his reaction was frosty, but as they spoke, he seemed to warm to the idea. “I miss you so much, Jen,” he said. “I’m trying to remain strong for my family, but it hasn’t been easy. I just hope that I can spend some time away from the office to show you around the city a little bit, but I can’t make any promises.”

 

After her flight landed, Jen caught a cab and checked into her hotel.
A hotel room will give us some privacy,
she thought.
I just want some time alone with him, so I can try to convince him to give us a chance.

 

Later that evening, Jen slipped into a silky caramel-
colored
wrap dress that showed just a hint of cleavage. As she tied the bow that held her dress in place, her pulse quickened as she remembered the last time she and Drew were together.
I hope that Drew is the one who unties this bow tonight,
she thought, as she checked herself one more time in the mirror before leaving her room.

 

Jen’s heart began to race and her stomach did flip flops as she exited the elevator when it reached the hotel lobby, where she found Drew waiting for her. Impulsively, she ran towards him, and he scooped her up into a tight embrace, smoothing her hair and kissing her on top of her head, before tilting her head up and kissing her lightly on the lips.

 

“I’ve missed you so much,” Drew said. “It’s so hard to believe that it’s been over a month since…” his voice trailed off.

 

Jen put her fingers over his lips to silence him, and then removed them in order to kiss him again. “Let’s catch up over dinner.”

 

Once they were seated in the restaurant and had placed their orders, Jen took a long look at Drew.
I’ve never seen him with such dark circles under his eyes. He looks so drawn, so tired.
“How is your dad doing?”

 

Drew shook his head, while replying, “His recuperation is taking longer than expected.”

 

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Drew. Please give him a hug for me.” She paused, before asking, “And how are you doing? I’m worried about you.”

 

He replied, “I’m exhausted. I’ve been working twelve hour days nearly every day, trying to hold everything together both at my dad’s firm, and at home. This is the first evening I’ve left the office before 8:00. It’s been rough, because I’m trying to develop some new areas of the business that can support both my parents, and me, in the future.

 

Jen felt her stomach churn and she began unconsciously wringing her hands. “What do you mean?”

 

“Well, the business has supported my father and my family for many years, but if it is going to support me and pay me a decent salary, I have to find ways to grow it.”

 

Drew began telling Jen about his podcasts and the radio show he was developing in the hopes of getting an opportunity to work again as a sports reporter, but Jen heard very little of what he had to say once it became clear that Drew was planning for a long-
term
future in California and not in New York. She snapped back to attention when she heard Drew ask, “so, Jen, what do you think?”

Jen bided her time while taking a sip of water. “It sounds like you’re really settling in here. You know that I want only the best for you,” she said, trying to force a smile, before continuing, “and I wish you all the luck in the world.”

 

“You didn’t answer the question, though. What do you think?”

 

“I think you know what I’m thinking.”

 

“You’re right. And, Jen, trust me, I wish I was going back to New York to be with you. But the situation here isn’t going to resolve itself anytime soon, and it looks like, for the foreseeable future, I’m going to be here, and you’re going to be there. It doesn’t make sense for you to wait around for me.”

 

“What are you saying?”

 

He took a deep breath, and searched for words. “Jen, you have no idea what I’m going through, how torn I am between my family and everything here, and you and everything back in New York. It’s literally making me sick.”

 

“Oh, Drew,” Jen said, reaching across the table to place her hand on top of his.

 

They silently held hands for a moment, before Drew cleared his throat and withdrew his hand from hers. “Jen, I will always have a deep emotional attachment to you. Hell, the truth is that I love you. You’re my best friend, and there’s no one I’d rather be with or spend my life with. But it isn’t fair to you, or to me, to keep hanging on to the hope of our developing a real relationship when we live on opposite coasts.”

 

Jen was stung by Drew’s words, and she hung her head, staring at her lap while nervously twisting her napkin. After composing herself, she half-
whispered
, “We had a real relationship, Drew. At least it was, and still is, to me.”

 

Drew’s face fell. “Aww, Jen, I’m sorry, that wasn’t the best choice of words. But I don’t want you to be hurt, and I don’t want to be hurt either. It’s more important to me to make sure we’re able to remain friends, and maybe one day we can rekindle our relationship, when we’re not living 3,000 miles away from each other. But we’ve tried, and it’s been impossible to see each other. Ultimately, one of us will end up hurting the other, and that will be the end of our friendship. And I couldn’t live with myself if that happened.”

 

“But we’re together now,” Jen said, her stomach churning.

 

Drew looked down at his lap and shook his head, before meeting Jen’s eyes. “And when will we see each other next?” When she just stared at him blankly, he continued, “You can’t answer that question any better than I can. I’m stuck here for the foreseeable future. That’s why I think we each need to move on, even if it means moving on with other people.”

 

The conversation momentarily stopped while their food was served. Despite being hungry when she ordered, Jen had lost her appetite and, instead of eating, she just played with the food on her plate.

Silence had awkwardly descended on their table, until Drew asked, “How are Catherine and Luke’s wedding plans coming along?”

 

“It looks like they’re all set for the first Saturday in May.” Jen filled him in on what she knew, desperate to try to salvage the evening.

 

After they finished eating, Drew paid the bill, and escorted Jen to the door of her room. As she slipped the key card into the slot, she asked, “Would you like to come inside?”

 

Drew exhaled, and shook his head, replying, “I don’t think I should.”

 

“But I don’t want to say goodbye to you in a hotel hallway,” she half-
whispered
, while looking down at her feet.

 

Finally, Drew relented, and followed Jen into her room, trying to keep his distance as she placed her handbag on top of the dresser. He caught her reflection in the mirror, and thought,
I love you, Jen. How can I leave you? I’ll never love anyone the way I love you.

 

Unable to resist the magnetic pull of her body, he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her on top of her head as he pulled her close, breathing in her sweet vanilla-
sugar
scent.

 

Jen gasped as she looked at their reflection in the mirror, and locked eyes with Drew. She felt him take a deep breath before pulling her in even closer, so close that she could feel his arousal through his suit pants. As Drew ran his hands over her body, massaging Jen’s breasts, she purred with pleasure.

 

Overwhelmed with desire, Jen whispered, “Oh, Drew,” as she turned around and pressed her lips into his, their tongues exploring each other’s mouths.

 

As their kisses grew more passionate, Drew’s hands hungrily roamed Jen’s body, his passion for her growing more desperate with each passing moment. “My God, Jen, it’s been so long, and I’ve missed you so much,” he said. Electricity shot through his veins and, as the last of his self-
control
was stripped away, he guided her towards the bed and climbed on top of her.

 

“I’ve missed you too. Please, I need you,” she said, as she quickly unbuttoned his shirt, before reaching for the waist of his pants. Just as she began to loosen his belt buckle, Drew’s cell phone rang.

 

“I’ve got to take this call,” he said, before answering the phone. “Hey, mom, what’s going on?” A moment later, he abruptly sat up and said, “Calm down. I’ll meet you at the hospital.” Turning to Jen, he said, “I’ve got to go. My father is having trouble breathing, and he’s being rushed back to the hospital.” Jumping to his feet, he quickly rearranged his clothing. “I can’t believe this is happening again.”

 

“I’ll go with you.”

 

“Okay,” he said, grabbing Jen’s hand. “Let’s go.”

 

Later that night, Drew walked Jen to the hospital entrance, and put her in a cab. “I’ll stay with you if you want me to,” Jen said. “I want to be here for you.”

 

“But you have an important meeting tomorrow, and you need your sleep. It’s 2:00 in the morning, New York time. I’ll try to call you tomorrow.”

 

“I hate saying goodbye this way,” Jen said, searching Drew’s eyes.

 

“Me too.” He was silent for a moment, shaking his head while running a hand through his hair. “Now you can see what I’m up against, and why I keep telling you that our being together right now isn’t going to work. I love you so much, but I have to take care of my family. So…as much as I love you, you have to get on with your life without me. And we have to say goodbye.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

T
he following afternoon, Jen waited to board a flight back to New York, a day earlier than planned.
I can’t see any reason to stick around San Francisco,
she thought, after Drew made it clear to her that, although he loved her, they would only ever be friends as long as his family obligations kept him in California.
At least the trip wasn’t a total loss,
she thought, reflecting on her meeting with the Organic Beauty people earlier that morning, certain she would be offered a lucrative contract.

 

Just as the flight began boarding, Jen’s cell phone rang, and her heart skipped a beat.
I hope it’s Drew calling to say he changed his mind and wants me to stay.
She looked at the display on her phone, and her hopes were dashed when she saw it was Mike, her agent.

 

“I have good news,” he said. “The Organic Beauty people liked you, and want you to be their new ‘face’”.

 

“Okay, good.”

“You don’t sound too enthusiastic. What’s wrong?”

 

“It didn’t go well with Drew. He told me to get on with my life,” she replied.

 

“Oh, no. I’m sorry to hear that.”

 

“Me too. Listen, I’ve got to go,” Jen said, trying to choke back tears.

 

“Wait, Jen, before you hang up, I have a question. You haven’t made any plans for Thursday night, have you?”

 

“Not yet,” Jen replied. “Why?”

 

“Good, because you’re going out to dinner with Vince Moscolo,” Mike replied.

 

When Jen didn’t answer him, Mike asked, “Jen? Jen? Are you there?”

 

“Yes, sorry, they’re starting to board my flight. Text or e-
mail
me the details, and I’ll be there,” she promised.

 

After ending the call with Mike, Jen walked down the jet way and boarded the plane. Settling into her window seat, she removed her current knitting project, an amethyst-
colored
merino wool and silk lace shawl, from her tote bag, and placed it on the console between her seat and the aisle seat, before snapping her seatbelt in place.

 

As the plane taxied down the runway and took off, Jen stared out the window, wondering when she would see Drew again.
I love him so much,
she thought.
And I know he loves me too.

Jen sighed as she watched San Francisco disappear in the distance. Remembering the way Drew’s strong hands explored her body the previous night, she felt simultaneously turned on and frustrated.
I know he has a lot on his plate, but I don’t understand how he can simply give up on us being together,
she thought, as she recalled the passionate kisses they shared less than 24 hours earlier.
But, then again, I can’t fault him for being loyal to his family. He’s such a good man, and a good son. I’d like to think I’d do the same thing for my family, if I was in his position.

 

Jen’s daydreams about Drew were interrupted when the flight attendant offered her a beverage, and she ordered a glass of pinot grigio. After taking a deep sip of the wine, she slipped her headphones over her ears and selected some soothing spa music, trying to relax and put Drew out of her mind.

 

Picking up her knitting, she began loop the yarn around the needles, and decided to shift her focus from Drew to the date she had with Vince Moscolo in two days.
I wonder where we’ll go,
she thought, making a mental note to do some research on him before Thursday night.

The next morning, Jen woke up with a headache and a dry mouth.
I shouldn’t have had all that wine on the flight,
she thought, as she stumbled into her kitchen and switched on the coffee pot, thankful she had the foresight to set it up the night before.

 

While the coffee was brewing, Jen opened her laptop, finding that Drew had e-
mailed
her during the night to ask how her meeting had gone, and to say he hoped she had a good flight home. She also had an e-
mail
from Mike, informing her that she was to meet Vince Moscolo on Thursday night at 7:30 at Peter Luger’s, the top steakhouse in the city. She poured herself a cup of coffee, and savored the first few sips before replying to Mike that she was all confirmed for Thursday night.

 

Jen carried her coffee and her laptop into the living room, and snuggled up under a cozy cream-
colored
afghan that she finished knitting the previous week. She looked out the window at the snow flurries falling from the gray sky and shivered, glad that she didn’t have any plans for the day.

 

Turning back to her laptop, she typed a short reply to Drew explaining that both her meeting and her flight had gone well. Keeping the tone of her email light and casual, she also asked about his father’s condition, without making any reference to what had gone on in her hotel room after their dinner, and without any mention of her upcoming dinner date with Vince Moscolo.

 

Next, Jen entered Vince Moscolo’s name into a search engine, and began to research him.
It’s been nearly two months since I first met him,
she thought as she scrolled through images of him, refreshing her memory.
He looks like any normal, reasonably attractive, middle-
aged
man I might pass on the street,
she thought. Vince had dark brown hair, which he combed straight back, and in some of the photos he wore wire-
rimmed
glasses. He was not alone in some of the photos, reminding Jen that he had previously dated many famous women, including Daphne Warfield and many other fellow models.

 

Clicking on the link to his Wikipedia page, Jen read that Vince was 41 years old, had never been married, and that, as chairman and chief executive officer of Penn Worldwide Investments, he was among the 25 wealthiest men in the world.

I don’t get it,
she thought.
He’s rich, powerful, and nearly old enough to be my father. What on earth does he want with me, and what will we talk about?
As she continued to read, Jen learned that he was born in Brooklyn to Italian immigrant parents, and that he had earned both his undergraduate degree and his M.B.A. from the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.
I guess we have enough in common to get a conversation started, since we both went to school in Philadelphia, and we’re both from Brooklyn and of Italian descent,
Jen thought, as she took a deep breath and began to relax.

Calm down
, Jen told herself as she fidgeted nervously in the cab during the short ride to Peter Luger’s on Thursday evening.
It’s just a blind date. Just get it over with, and you’ll never have to see him again.
She concentrated on her breathing, trying to relax and ease her anxiety.

 

As she exited the cab, Jen ran her hands over her black suede pants, and checked her black wrap v-
neck
cashmere sweater to make sure she wasn’t showing too much cleavage. She took another deep breath and smiled at the doorman who greeted her as she entered the restaurant. Walking through the bar area, Jen felt the eyes of the men gathered there upon her, making her uncomfortable, but she didn’t see anyone who looked like Vince.

 

When she reached the desk and identified herself, the maitre d’ immediately said, “Of course, Miss LaBella. Mr. Moscolo is waiting for you at the table.” Jen was escorted to the room to her right, her favorite of the three possible seating areas in the restaurant, and to a table in the front corner near the window.

 

Vince rose to greet her with a smile. “Jennifer, it’s good to see you. I’m so glad we’re finally able to get together.” He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, then pulled out a chair for her. “Please, sit.”

 

“Thanks, Vince,” she replied, inhaling the faint, woodsy scent of his cologne. “It’s good to see you too.” A waiter approached the table, asking for her drink order and, noticing that Vince had a mug of beer in front of him, she answered, “A mug of Beck’s, please.”

 

Vince smiled when Jen ordered her beer, and said, “I hope you like the choice of restaurant. I checked with your agent, and he said it would be perfect but, frankly, I was a little surprised.”

 

“Why were you surprised?”

 

“Because none of the models I’ve ever dated before were big steak eaters.”

 

Jen laughed, “Well, I’ve been told that I’m not a typical model. Actually, this is one of my favorite restaurants.”

 

Vince raised his eyebrows in surprise. “No kidding! Then I think I’m going to have to issue you a challenge: order for us.”

 

“Challenge accepted,” Jen said, smiling. “I’m happy to do the honors.”

 

“Do you need a menu?”

 

“Absolutely not! I’ve never seen the menu here in my life!” Jen laughed, and realized she was flirting, just a little, with Vince.

 

When the waiter returned with Jen’s beer, he asked Vince for their order, but Vince gestured towards Jen and said, “My lovely date will be placing our order tonight.”

 

Without missing a beat, the waiter turned to Jen, who grinned and said, “We’re going to each have a shrimp cocktail, and we’ll also split an order of tomatoes and onions and an order of bacon to start.” She smiled and batted her eyelashes at Vince, then looked back at the waiter, and continued, “then we’ll have the porterhouse steak for two, medium-
rare
, an order of creamed spinach, and an order of hash browns.”

 

“Is that all?” the waiter asked.

 

“Until dessert,” Jen said, smiling at him. As the waiter left, Jen turned to Vince and asked, “So, how did I do?”

 

“That was perfect. You ordered all my favorites, including the bacon. I just want to know where you are going to put it all.”

 

Jen laughed and, patting her stomach, said, “Oh, trust me, I love to eat. I even plan on having the chocolate mousse pie with whipped cream for dessert, although it means I’ll be living on my treadmill for the next few days.”

 

Much to Jen’s surprise, the conversation flowed easily as they ate. Vince revealed that he had grown up in the working-
class
neighborhood of Bensonhurst, just as Jen remembered from reading his Wikipedia page. “My father was a janitor, and my mother was a seamstress, and to say that money was tight while I was growing up would be an understatement,” he said.

 

“Are you close to your family?”

Vince grimaced and closed his eyes for a moment. “I was close to my parents, but they’re both deceased. And I’m an only child.”

 

“Oh my gosh, Vince, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

 

“It’s okay, Jennifer. In a way, not having siblings or any money worked to my advantage. Instead of playing, I concentrated on my schoolwork instead. I was fortunate that one of my teachers took me under her wing, and made sure I applied to college. She helped me with my applications and, if it wasn’t for her, I never would have earned a full scholarship to the University of Pennsylvania. I owe her, and the Wharton School of Business, everything,” he said. “Once I finished at Penn, I managed to work my way up from an entry level job on Wall Street, and now I head up Penn Worldwide Investments, my own investment firm.”

 

Jen listened politely, nodding her head as he told her about his childhood and his business. As Vince spoke, she took her time assessing him.
He’s attractive, maybe even handsome, and he’s surprisingly charming
, she thought. “But, Vince, what about the old saying about all work and no play?” she asked with a smile.

 

“Until recently, I haven’t had much time to devote to life outside of work, because I’ve been so immersed in my business,” Vince related. “I’ve dated, and even lived with, many women over the years, but never got married. I just never met the right woman, I suppose.” He paused to take a sip of his beer, before adding, “But anyway, enough about me. What about you, Jennifer? You have a reputation as a hard worker, as well as being one of the smartest and nicest people in your industry.” Vince watched as Jen blushed, before continuing, “And you’re not exactly known as a party girl, are you?”

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