As Tears Go By (31 page)

The
idea of confronting Miranda sounded strong in theory, but the truth was it
reeked of self-doubt—
her
self-doubt,
not the other woman’s. “I guess it’ll just take time for me to get over my
trust issues. I just hope it doesn’t take too long. Braydon was right, he
doesn’t deserve to pay for Kevin’s mistakes.”

Nikki’s
hand rubbed over hers. “You’ll get there. I have faith in you.”

* * * *

The
following morning Becca developed a few new nervous tics. Her palms were
sweating profusely and her heart hadn’t stopped racing. A little before lunch
she took a cab over to Braydon’s office. She made it as far as the reception
area before her feet froze and she wasn’t sure what to do next.

A crowd
of executives in suits emerged from a room down the hall and she recognized
Miranda’s voice. One of the suits passing mentioned Braydon’s name and she
wondered if he’d been in that meeting.

Miranda’s
laugh trickled down the hall with enough force to galvanize Becca. She crept to
the door and glanced inside. Her heart plummeted the moment she saw Miranda’s
hand touch Braydon’s arm.

Braydon
stepped back. “Miranda, stop.”

At the
sound of his protest, Becca stepped back. What was she doing there? Sure, she
could say she was just visiting, but the transparent truth was she was spying.
This was a mistake. He’d be hurt to know she needed to see proof in order to
believe him and in that moment she wanted to turn back and run, disgusted with
her insecure self.

Quickly
pivoting, she rushed down the hall toward the elevator she’d arrived on.

“Becca?”

Crap.
Shoulders tense, she slowly turned. “Hi, Miranda. I…uh…was looking for
Braydon.”

The
woman smiled. “He’s right in there.” She turned. “Bray? You have a visitor.”
Surprisingly, her tone was polite, almost pleased. She turned back to her. “I
bet you’re relieved to be finishing up with Apricot. I think the entire deal
went wonderfully for all parties involved.”

Of all
the things Becca expected, speaking to this woman as a peer hadn’t been one of
them. “Y—yes. I’m glad they chose your firm.”

Braydon
immerged from the office, his pace slowing as he spotted her speaking to
Miranda. “Hey.”

Miranda
smiled. “I’ll leave you two alone. Good job today, McCullough.”

He
nodded, but didn’t take his eyes off of Becca. “What are you doing here,
Becca?”

Scrunching
her face, disappointed in herself on so many levels, she rushed out, “Being
stupid.”

“What?”
He laughed.

Huffing
out a deep breath, she confessed, “I was checking up on you.
Or
marking my territory.
Or…I don’t know.” Glancing up at him with pleading
eyes, she admitted, “I have issues. I’m sorry I blamed you for them.”

His
mouth curled into a half smile, gifting her with an endearing shot of his
dimple. “Did I ever tell you how adorable you are?”

Her
neck extended. “Adorable? Did you hear anything I just said?”

Reaching
out, he pinched her chin. “I heard everything, even the stuff you didn’t say,
angel.” He shrugged. “It’s sort of flattering to know you’re territorial about
me.”

“But…you
don’t deserve my suspicions.”

“No,
but I don’t mind. If coming here somehow helped you find a little peace of
mind, then it’s fine. I told you, I have nothing to hide. I’m an open book.”

It did
give her peace of mind and a little bit of a reality check. That he somehow
realized that and didn’t seem to mind that she was pretty much crazy—and a
child—made her fall more in love with him. Swallowing her shame, she lifted her
gaze to his. “I’m sorry.”

He
looked at her for a long moment, his gaze scrutinizing. Slowly, he took her
hand. “Come with me.”

Lacing
her fingers with his, she followed him as they ducked into a conference room
and he shut the door. He quickly spun her until her back met the wall and his
lips crashed over hers. Drawing in a deep breath, he kissed her deeply,
pressing his hips to hers. “Thank you.”

He was
thanking
her
? “For what?”

His
face pressed to her neck as he sighed into her hair. “For coming here, for
caring enough to look for the truth rather than gambling what we have on
ungrounded suspicions. I’m not sure anyone’s ever cared that much, Becca. It
feels…good. Reassuring.”

Impossible.
Didn’t he realize what a catch he was? Didn’t the rest of the women out there
see him? She wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him. “I promise I won’t
always be this crazy.”

“Mmm…”
he hummed contently. “A little crazy can be fun.”

But she
knew she could be better. She had to conquer her trust issues. Otherwise, she
might lose this incredible man and she was pretty sure there wasn’t another man
out there as wonderful as him.

* * * *

That
evening, after Hunter was in bed, Becca decided to address their future. Her
life was subtly shifting in ways that led to dramatic change. Rather than
continue to make harmful assumptions, she was learning honesty worked better
for everyone.

The
first person she needed to be honest with was herself. Braydon was immensely
important to her and if she wanted all of him, she needed to get some answers.
“Did you ever think of opening your own company?”

Shifting
on the bed, he hesitated and then said, “I’ve been thinking about it a lot
lately.”

Though
he’d hinted at the idea before, the way he tacked on the word
lately
gave her pause. “You have?”

He
nodded. “I never wanted to work for a big company. I always assumed I’d
eventually work from home, maybe have a small satellite office downtown for
meetings.”

She
could imagine him doing that, but how soon did he expect to put these changes
into effect? She should know these things, because if
home
was back in Center County, that would change a lot.

There
was no doubt in her mind that Braydon would be successful no matter who he
worked for, himself or a corporation. He definitely had a gift when it came to
design. The Apricot deal had been an overwhelming success, thanks to his
creativity. Combine that with his personality and his capability in matters,
his endless abilities became almost intimidating.

“How
about you?” he asked.

She
turned, lost in her thoughts. “What about me?”

“Do you
see yourself working for Nikki forever?”

She’d
never given it much thought. It was a good job and she was comfortable in
Pittsburgh. Nikki understood her homelife and understood family emergencies
always took precedence over any work crisis. “Unless I have a reason to leave,
I think I could stay there and be happy.”

He was
quiet for several minutes. “I built a house.”

As
though a ton of bricks landed on her chest, her heart stuttered. Her skin went
cold with shock. “What?”

“I
built a house.” His expression gave nothing away. “In Center County.”

Her
throat constricted to a pinhole as she tried to swallow. He’d built a house?
When? What did this mean? He was moving? “A
house
?”

He
nodded, but didn’t smile, which did nothing to slow her panic. “On the
mountain.”

Her
lips parted as everything became clear. He was moving out of the city. “You
built
your
house.” How much time did
they have left? How had he managed something so grand without uttering a word
to her? This was so unexpected. She’d known he’d missed home, but she assumed
they had more time. At no point did he lead her to believe his eminent
departure would be this soon.

“
Our
house.”

Snapping
her head up, she frowned at him. “Our house?”

“Yeah.
I wanted it to be finished before I took you to see it. It’s almost done.”

He
built a
house
—in
Center County
—for
them
.
Where was she when all this was decided? Shaking her head in confusion, she
said, “But I live here.” Her life was here. She couldn’t just pick up and go!

“We
don’t have to. We could live together—there.”

Sixty
seconds ago she was lying on her bed pondering the future. No one told her the
future was going to start a minute later. She wasn’t prepared for this. “What
are you talking about? Braydon, we haven’t even discussed moving in with each
other.”

“I’m at
your house nearly every night. The only time we’re apart is when we’re working
or I’m traveling. Maybe it’s time we had the discussion.”

She
blew out a puff of air. Her heart was pounding like a jackhammer. They were
dating
. Granted, she didn’t have much
experience with dating, but wasn’t moving in together a big deal that should be
discussed way before a place was selected? Didn’t her opinion count for
anything? She’d told him she liked when he decided
in bed
, but this was totally different! “This is a conversation we
should’ve had before you invested in the first nail. I can’t move, Braydon.
Living together’s one thing, but moving far away is totally different. Hunter’s
school’s here.”

Calmly,
he took her hand and squeezed.
 
“I want
to live with you, Becca. You and Hunter.” How was he so calm?

“This
is a
big
deal, Braydon. You act like
you’re stating you want ice cream.”

“I know
what I want.”

She
shook her head. For as level headed as he was, she was that much more scattered
and paranoid. “But I have a house.”

“Do you
love it? Tell me you love your home, and I’ll back off.”

He had
an answer for everything. “Nobody loves their home one hundred percent, but
it’s ours. It’s Hunter’s home. He’s used to it. He’s lived here his entire
life. I can’t just uproot him. He has school. I have a job. And I have to
consider Kevin in all of this.”

“Kevin
could still see Hunter.”

“How,
Braydon? He lives in the city. Center County’s hours away. It’s an impossible
commute.”

“Nothing’s
impossible.”

She
shook her head, baffled by his optimism. He held such a positive outlook on
everything. It seemed to amplify her pessimism, which made her cynical thinking
all the more unflattering. “You aren’t being realistic. People don’t just stop
everything and start over at this age.”

Her
mind was reeling. He built a house. A house. Not a fort or a shed. A
house!
As
amazing as that was, it made her incredibly sad. He’d be moving there with or
without her—the investment was made. She couldn’t just leave her home and run
off to Center County. She had Hunter to consider, bills to pay, a job to
maintain. He hadn’t even given her the chance to invite him to move in with
them. That would be more realistic.

 
“Plenty of people start over, angel. You gotta
be brave. Think about your life. How many memories of your home were fractured
by your divorce? Your house is nice, but this bed we sleep in…you picked it out
with your ex-husband. Every bit of furniture came before me. I’m trying to get
you to take the next step. I want to take it with you, but I want you to—”

“Braydon.
This isn’t just about a house. Our home is in Pittsburgh.”

“Why,
though? It doesn’t have to be. You can make a home anywhere you choose. I know
you loved being at the mountain. I love it too. My family’s there, but since
falling in love with you I’ve been caught in a divide. I want it all, you, them,
a
home,
I wanna make
our
home,
our
life, a place where we can grow
together—you, me, and Hunter—as one. Family, Becca, isn’t that what you want?”

She
turned her face away as a tear escaped her lashes. “I can’t.”

“Why?
I’m not asking for more than you can give, just a chance for the three of us to
be whole. Give me every challenge and I’ll conquer them.”

“You’re
not considering the life we already have. Hunter’s school—”

He
stood and went to his bag. Returning to her with a sheaf of papers he said,
“Sammy got this information for me.”

“Sammy?”
Everything was moving way too fast.

“Yeah,
remember I told you she works for the school. It’s information on the programs.
There’s a music enrichment program and a young engineers’ club. Colin’s working
on a grant that would get the school a better resource room and he wants you to
help him when it gets approved so that it’s designed with every beneficial
detail you can imagine. I’ve already given an estimate to do the work as an
independent contractor. Our family’s donating the lumber and Mallory’s writing
the grant proposal. Hunter would be in a smaller setting, but that may benefit
him.”

Scooting
into a seated position, she took the papers with a trembling hand. She hadn’t
expected him to consider her circumstances so thoroughly. “You looked into all
this?”