Baby Experts 02 (9 page)

Vince stood immediately, Tessa close beside him. He was grateful she’d gotten him through this three-and-a-half-hour waiting time by talking about Sean, pulling stories from Vince about his stint in the Air Force, relating how she and Francesca and Emily had met and lived in a house together. She’d kept conversation rolling to keep him from thinking.

Now, with her elbow brushing his arm, he felt Sean had two champions no matter what happened.

The surgeon strode to Vince and nodded. “The nerve reconstruction surgery went well. I also removed scar tissue that had been blocking nerve signals. I believe Sean will be one of the fortunate ones, if you’re willing to be patient.”

“I can be patient,” Vince assured the doctor with rough emotion in his voice.

“What
will
be the recuperation time?” Tessa asked.

“His arm will be in a soft sling for about three weeks. Then he can start physical therapy. But we won’t see results for four to six months and it could be years until he has full use of his arm.”

“Can we see him?” Vince asked, needing to know his son was really okay.

“You’ll be able to see him in recovery in about a half hour. After he’s alert and his vitals are good, we’ll settle him in a room.”

A short time later they were standing by Sean’s crib. Tessa crouched down on one side and murmured to the little boy. Sean responded with a smile and a babble.

“What did you tell him?” Vince asked.

“That he’s the best little boy in the whole world.”

Vince crouched down at his son’s other side and Sean turned his face to his dad. “We’re just going to treat this like a great adventure. You won’t be alone from now on, cowboy. I’m staying here with you tonight. We’ll be together until you come home.”

Vince couldn’t tell if Sean understood or not, but his son reached for Vince’s hand.

Tessa stood gazing at both of them. “I’m glad you’re staying tonight. Sean will feel safe and protected…and loved.”

“I hope so. Sometimes it’s easier to know the right thing to do than at other times.”

Tessa’s and Vince’s gazes locked.

The beeping of the automatic blood pressure monitor interrupted the sweep of memories that always seemed to suck them in.

The sound gave Tessa the opportunity to turn away and check her watch. “I’d better go. If I start office hours on time, I might finish at a decent time. When I get finished, would you like me to bring you takeout?”

“That would be great. I probably won’t want to leave him.”

“I can imagine what you’re feeling, Vince, but when Sean naps, take a break. You need to take care of yourself, too.”

He was staring at her over his son’s crib, thinking about the two of them together…the two of them taking care of Sean together. Was that too crazy to hope for?

“Do you care if I take care of myself, Tessa? Do you care about Sean’s outcome as more than his doctor?”

They were in a corner of the recovery room with medical personnel stationed at the other end.

“Vince, this isn’t the place—”

“Isn’t it?”

Her eyes were wide with a vulnerability she rarely showed him.

“I care about you
and
Sean. Maybe too much.”

Tessa believed those were the words he needed to hear right now. Her denial had ended because they
were
true. Maybe after this crisis, they could figure out how involved they were going to be in each other’s lives.

She entered the baby’s room now and spotted the recliner that had been rolled in so Vince could stay the night. He was unaware of her presence until she tapped him on the shoulder.

He went still for a moment, then rose from the chair. “I’m losing my instincts,” he said gruffly. “I should have sensed you coming.”

“All of your attention is on Sean. I can understand why you didn’t.”

He shook his head. “That’s no excuse.” He inhaled deeply and smiled at the bags in her hand. “Is that food?”

She grinned back. “I don’t know what’s going to happen if you eat enchiladas this time of night, but I know they’re your favorite. At least they used to be. You haven’t sworn off of them, have you?”

He laughed. “No.”

Handing Vince the bags, she went to the crib and looked down at the baby. “Has he been awake?”

“On and off. He fell back to sleep a little while ago. He’s been through a lot. I’m just grateful Rafferty thinks the surgery was successful.”

“Remember, the improvement will happen slowly.”

“I know. I’ll be patient about it. I have no choice.”

Tessa was close to Vince and she liked the sensation of her shoulder bumping his. Vince had always made her feel safe and protected and cared for. Until—

Until he’d been silent and uncommunicative when he’d visited her in the hospital. Until he hadn’t objected to her going home with her father.

She couldn’t help but lean over Sean and whisper in his little ear, “I hope you’re having sweet dreams, baby. You deserve good dreams from here on out.”

Tessa could feel Vince’s gaze on her and she swallowed hard. Turning toward him, she said, “I’m sorry I’m so late. I had an emergency and then patients got backed up.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Tessa. You don’t even have to be here.” He raked his hand through his hair. “Sorry, that didn’t come out the way it should have. I just mean…I cornered you in the recovery room today. I’m surprised you came back.”

She admitted she cared about him, but she wasn’t going to tell him she couldn’t keep away. “Come on, let’s eat. There’s a taco salad there for me.”

With a vinyl chair pulled near the recliner, they ate in the dimly lit room, the hospital noises outside the door seeming far away. A nurse came in to check on Sean and then departed once more.

After Vince had downed the enchiladas and half of his soda, he said, “I’ll probably take Sean home late afternoon tomorrow. In the morning, the physical therapist is going to show me exercises for his wrist and thumb and fingers. It will be a few weeks before we can do anything with his shoulder.”

“Are you nervous about taking him home?”

“Not nervous. Just concerned he’ll need something and I won’t understand what it is.”

“Would you like me to come over tomorrow evening? I could just check and make sure everything’s okay.”

Vince studied her for a long time.

“What?”

“I’m going to owe you a few Texas T-bone dinners or a room full of flowers when this is all done.”

“You don’t owe me anything.”

Again he was silent for a few moments, then he asked, “Will you answer a question for me?”

“Maybe. It depends on the question.”

He shook his head and chuckled. “I should have known.” Then he sobered. “You said you care about me and Sean. Is that why you’re here?”

“Does it matter? I help friends, Vince, and they help me. That’s the way small towns work. You know that.”

“Maybe I’d forgotten, or maybe I just never experienced small-town life the way you have. When my dad was passed out on the living room floor, I don’t remember anybody helping.”

She imagined him as a young boy, in a situation much too complicated for him to figure out on his own. “Did you ever ask for help?”

“Hell no! It was a matter of pride for both me and Dad.”

“So why are you accepting
my
help now?”

His expression changed, going from serious to much lighter. “Because you have great taste in restaurants,” he joked, pointing to the crumpled bags on the floor beside his chair.

“Vince.”

With a sigh, he ran his hand through his already disheveled hair. “I knew you wouldn’t let that pass,” he grumbled. Finally he admitted, “I’m not sure. Probably because you care about Sean. You care about babies and you know what you’re doing. Since you’re a doctor, Sean needs you to watch out for him. I’ll never deprive him of that, pride or no pride. I guess I’m learning that by being a parent, I can’t let anything stand in the way of what’s best for him.”

She knew that was the right answer, but maybe she’d wanted a different answer. Maybe she’d wanted him to say that he still felt connected to her on some level. Maybe she’d wanted him to admit that whatever was between them so many years ago wasn’t yet finished. Heck, she’d just admitted that to herself after their last kiss. She hadn’t wanted to consider it before. Denial was a great wall that could keep worries and complications at bay. The problem was—it was a wall that always crumbled.

Right now she was tired, not just physically tired, but emotionally drained. She’d worried along with Vince this morning and she knew she was becoming entirely too invested in Sean’s welfare, not to mention Vince’s life. But that would soon end. Sean would be recuperating and then Vince would be leaving. So if she wanted to play Good Samaritan or friend, there was no harm in that.

She
wasn’t
involved with Vince.

Her salad only half-eaten, she settled the lid on it and stuffed it into the bag.

“That wasn’t much of a supper,” he scolded.

“It was enough. I’ve got to get going or Francesca and Emily will send out the search dogs.”

“They don’t know where you are?”

“Not exactly. I just told them I wouldn’t be home until late.”

After Vince pushed himself up from the recliner, he took his empty bag and dumped it in the trash can. “Are you taking that home to finish it?”

When she shook her head, he took the bag from her and tossed it into the can on top of his.

“If you had your choice, which would you pick? Flowers or the steak dinner?” he joked.

She rolled her eyes.

“Humor me.”

Would she choose the safety of flowers, or the complication of a dinner with Vince? That’s what he was really asking, wasn’t it?

“I like flowers,” she decided, taking the safe route.

“That’s good to know.” His gaze was trying to turn her inside out. Before it did, she moved toward the door.

She stopped before exiting the room. “You can call my office tomorrow and let me know when you’re home. I’ll be there until after five.”

“Will do.”

The light was too dim to read his expression.

As she murmured, “I’ll see you tomorrow,” and left the room, she heard him call, “Drive safely.”

She had taken safe roads up to this point in her life. Were safe roads really what she wanted?

That was a question better left unanswered for now. That was a question that was better left unanswered until after Vince left Sagebrush.

Tessa wasn’t sure if Mrs. Zappa was talking about Vince or Sean. In fact, she’d never been introduced to the housekeeper and wondered how Mrs. Zappa knew who she was. “I don’t think we’ve met,” she began.

“Oh, I know who you are. You’re Walter McGuire’s daughter and you were once married to Vince.” Conspiratorially, she leaned toward Tessa. “I’ve never told him I know, but I do.”

Tessa had to smile in spite of herself. “Do you think he’d be uncomfortable if he knew you knew?”

“You know men. They like to keep their life private. If he wants to do that, it’s fine with me. I’m not going to poke where I’m not wanted. He only let go of that boy to get a shower since he brought him home from the hospital, and now he’s holding him again. Vince needs to take care of himself, too. The casserole’s still in the oven. It’s going to be dry as toast if he doesn’t eat it soon.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Tessa assured her. “How is Sean?”

“From what I can tell, that little boy is doing fine. He ate
his
supper.”

Tessa laughed. “That
is
a good sign.”

Mrs. Zappa moved toward the door. “It was good to meet you, Dr. McGuire.”

“It was good to meet you, too, but please call me Tessa.”

“And you can call me Rhonda.” She gave a last wave and left.

Moments later, Tessa was standing outside Sean’s room. A small CD player on top of the chest played soothing music. Vince was sitting in the rocking chair with Sean asleep in his arms. He was looking down at his son as if he never wanted to look away.

“How’s he doing?” she asked softly.

Vince gently touched the sling on Sean’s arm. “As long as I talk to him and play with him, he’s not fussy. I guess it distracts him from any discomfort he’s having.”

“Rhonda says you need to eat your supper. Now would be a good time if Sean’s asleep, don’t you think?”

“Rhonda?”

“Mrs. Zappa. She told me I could call her Rhonda.”

He frowned. “Yeah, that was the name on her application. I’ve just never used it.” Standing with Sean in his arms, he carried him over to the crib and gently laid him down. “I hate to leave him. I don’t want him to wake up and be afraid, or think he’s still in the hospital.”

“You’ll hear him on the baby monitor if he cries. You’ve got to give yourself a breather, Vince. Have you even slept in the past two days?”

“I got a few hours’ sleep the night before surgery, and again last night.”

“In a recliner in Sean’s room.”

“It was comfortable.”

“Has anyone ever told you your stubborn determination can be frustrating?”

He smiled at her. “I’ve always considered it one of my better traits.”

When he smiled like that, she felt butterflies flutter in almost every part of her body. She was
only
here to help him with Sean. “I haven’t had supper, either. We can share Rhonda’s casserole.”

Tessa decided to serve their meal on the coffee table in the living room because Vince needed to relax. Maybe he would if the atmosphere was casual enough.

When he came into the living room and saw the two steaming plates, he admitted, “I think I
am
hungry. I had a sandwich from the cafeteria but that was a long time ago.”

“This looks great.”

Vince sat beside Tessa and dug his fork into the casserole.

They ate in silence for a few minutes until Tessa asked, “Are you going to work tomorrow?”

“I’m going in late. That way I can make sure everything’s okay with Sean and Mrs. Zappa—Rhonda—before I leave. I’ll stay late if I call home and everything’s okay.”

“You’re not going to call her every hour, are you?”

He gave Tessa a sideways glance. “How did you guess?” Then he smiled. “No, I’m not going to call every hour. I trust her. The doctor said the incision on Sean’s shoulder and the one on his leg looked good. I changed the dressings and Sean didn’t seem to mind too much.”

Tessa knew the surgeon had removed nerves from Sean’s leg to replace damaged nerves in his shoulder. “It doesn’t sound as if you really need my help.”

He shrugged. “It’s nice to have someone to eat with, but you don’t have to stay if you have things to do.”

“Nothing important.” She had medical journals waiting but she had to admit she’d much rather be here with Vince. That was dangerous. Whenever she reached toward the coffee table, her arm brushed his. His knee was terribly close to hers. She could breathe in the scent of fresh aftershave, and she noticed his jaw was clean-shaven.

“I stopped in to see Amy during rounds again today.”

Vince put his empty plate on the coffee table and set his fork on it. “I’ve been keeping updated on her, too. No change, right?”

“No change. Her parents and sister take turns talking to her, playing music, almost constantly. The doctors say that stimulation can’t hurt. No one knows for sure if coma patients can hear all of it on some level, or if it helps bring them back. Some neurologists believe it does.”

“If I were in their shoes, I’d try everything, too.”

“I know what you mean.”

Suddenly, they weren’t eating anymore. They weren’t staring straight ahead. They were gazing into each other’s eyes.

Vince shifted toward her, bringing them into closer proximity. She didn’t move away.

“Tell me something, Tessa, did you come here tonight simply because of Sean?”

Nothing about her situation with Vince was simple, not even her concern about his son. “I came…” She hesitated as she tried to be honest about her motive. “I came because I thought Sean might need me, and because you might need me.”

“Do you care if I need you?”

She wasn’t ready to go deeper, not ready to look at what might happen between the two of them if she let it. “What ways would you need me, Vince? That’s the thing.”

“There’s one very basic way.”

The desire in his eyes had nothing to do with his son, or even with their past. It was a hunger that was present, here and now, for her. If she were honest with herself and with him, she’d have to admit to the same hunger. It had increased in intensity since his visit to her office. She’d tried to push it down. She’d tried to turn it away. She’d tried to deny it existed. But whenever she was with Vince, it was there.

When he leaned even closer, she felt almost dizzy. He stopped about an inch from her mouth. It was as if he was waiting for her to pull away. She briefly thought about it, but by then his mouth had covered hers, his tongue was teasing her lips. Afterward, he nibbled at the corner, then made the kiss serious.

Vince’s sensual side had always swept her away and tonight was no exception. His lips and tongue explored her, delved deeper, fueled a response from her she’d forgotten she was capable of. As her fingers laced in his hair, his arm went around her. She felt enfolded in a fantasy, and her body came alive. Every sensation was exciting and new. She let go of the restraint she usually held on to tightly. She released the womanly need she barely recognized. She banished the past and the future and only thought about now. Vince always had that effect on her. He instilled in her a sense of passion, made her feel new and different, exciting and so alive.

It was the most natural thing in the world when his large hand slipped from her shoulder, passed over her collarbone and settled on her breast. His thumb trailed around the outline of her bra until he made smaller circles. Finally he targeted her nipple. She restlessly shifted her hands from his hair, down his back, until she could grab handfuls of his shirt. She pulled it up and out of his jeans, as eager as he was to feel more. He continued their kiss through their fumbling for buttons. Finally she had his shirt open and her hands were on his chest hair, sifting through it, dipping lower, reveling in his hot skin against her palm. His groan was deep and urged her to keep going. She unfastened the snap on his fly.

Vince had never taken her pleasure for granted, and now he didn’t just enjoy what she was doing to him, but made sure she was feeling the fire, too. He easily unhooked her bra and slid his fingers under the material, making her crazy with a teasing, tantalizing touch of fingertips. This man had always undone her. He had always shown her new roads to passion. He’d always—

Always?

There was no
always
with Vince. There was no forever. How could she have forgotten that for even a moment? She never wanted to experience the pain of his leaving as she’d experienced last time. She’d lost their baby and was grieving and he’d just left…left without looking back.

She pulled away from his lips, his hand, his body so close to hers and was shaking her head before he could even ask any questions. “I can’t do this. It’s a mistake. We can’t become intimate again.”

Vince settled his hands on his thighs, swivelled away from her and took a few moments to compose himself. Then he asked gruffly, “Tell me something, Tessa. Do you believe it was a mistake for us to have
ever
become intimate?”

She knew what he was asking. They’d been so different, their worlds so far apart. Yet they’d connected in a way she’d never connected with another person. “I think back then, we had a chance. But fate intervened and we didn’t handle it well. Now I make sure whatever fate dishes out, I control my own destiny.”

“That sounds real good, Tessa, but what does it mean?” There was an edge to his voice as he turned to look at her now.

“It means that because you left once, I can never believe that you won’t walk away again. That’s why I can’t get involved with you.”

She could see the startled realization on his face when he understood what she was saying.

His gray eyes were dark, filled with past memories. “I never meant to hurt you.” He paused and studied her stillflushed face. “I need to know something. Would you have given up becoming a doctor to be married to me? To live in a dump and be alone most of the time while I worked just to put food on the table?”

He was doubting her level of commitment back then and she couldn’t blame him. “I’m not idealistic enough to believe love conquers all, but when I was seventeen, I believed what we had was enough. You’re the one who left and jumped into another relationship. How could you have done that so soon? It sent me a clear message that I hadn’t meant as much to you as you’d meant to me!”

“
You
filed for divorce.”

Yes, she had. Because her father had told her that was best, because she’d felt alone, because she’d believed Vince had left her behind.

More upset than she wanted to be, much too close to tears, Tessa fastened her bra and buttoned her blouse. “Rehashing the past isn’t going to get us anywhere, Vince. I should have known better than to…to…”

“Care?” he filled in. “Have you walled yourself off completely from your needs? Have you blamed me for everything that happened in the past without looking at your part in it? Have you decided never to risk having a serious relationship again?”

“A serious relationship only works when both people are serious. It only works if they’re in the same place. It only works if they commit their lives to each other and
mean
it.” She rose to her feet. “I’d better go.”

But Vince stood, too, and caught her arm. “Don’t run from what’s happening between us, Tessa.”

“Are you going to
stay
in Sagebrush?” she asked.

“I don’t know yet what’s going to happen. A lot depends on my position as chief of police and Sean’s recovery.”

“My home is here. My practice is here. My dad is here.”

“And you won’t uproot your life for a chance at something better.” He made it a statement rather than a question.

“I’ve learned to cherish what I have, appreciate it and not expect too much.” Her voice shook as she finished and pulled away from him.

He didn’t try to convince her to stay. He let her go as he had so many years ago.