Back to You (9 page)

“Here?”

He smiled, “Why not?”

Hesitant, she slowly lifted the bottom of her t-shirt. He crouched low and leaned in to take a closer look. He could see a slight indentation on her skin – a faint mark, barely noticeable.

He wanted to touch it – and there was no stopping him.

His fingers touched her skin gently for barely a second.

“Uh... John,” she whispered, backing away. “What are you doing?” she asked, tilting her head over towards the group in front of them.

He couldn’t answer her question.

He didn’t know.

The ride back was quiet. Everyone seemed exhausted – even Paige wasn’t saying too much.

Sophie was lost in her thoughts – so many wayward thoughts.

She couldn’t take the sexual tension between her and John anymore. It was so palpable – she could feel it in every pore of her body. It was ridiculous… why couldn’t they just do something about it and get it over with – enough of these games they were playing. And she knew he wasn’t fairing any better than she was. She had told herself so many times to stay away from him, but it was clear to her now that that would be impossible – the pull was just too darn strong.

When he had touched her stomach the way he had, she thought she was going to explode. He always seduced her in the most unexpected, inappropriate places – almost like he couldn’t trust himself to do it in an actual suitable place, where it might be just the two of them, and there might be a tangible possibility of taking things further.

She looked back at Jesse and Paige sitting quietly in the back, and she second-guessed herself again. As much as she wanted John on a physical level, she did have others to think about. She just couldn’t indulge in her every whim.

“So Mom,” Jesse said suddenly. “Paige wanted to know if we can come over for a swim tomorrow.”

Sophie was speechless. As beautiful as the ocean was, she didn’t really have any desire to swim in that frigid water. But she knew Jesse would love it.

“That sounds like a great idea,” John chimed in.

“Uh… I guess,” she hesitated. “You guys will have fun.”

“And you too,” John pressed, a devilish smile on his face.

Oh my…
Sophie thought.

What had she gotten herself into?

***

The sky was inviting, and the day was perfect for swimming. But John was pretty sure Sophie had no intention on swimming in the chilly ocean – ever. She hadn’t even put on her suit. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t have a little fun with her, he thought, walking on the pebbles along the edge on the water. He always walked barefoot on the pebbly beach; he was used to it and he liked the feel of the rocks under his feet. He peeked at Sophie’s shoes – orange flip-flops with daisies. She was so put-together, but always so whimsical – polka-dots, flowers. It always brought a smile to his face.

She was carrying enough beach towels for an army. The sight of her was almost laugh-out-loud funny. He would have liked to help her out, but he had his hands full with all the stuff Sophie had insisted on bringing: parasols, beach toys, sunblock, hats and a beach blanket.

Jesse and Paige were digging for treasures along the water’s edge – or rather Paige was. A country girl and an expert explorer, she was showing Jesse all the riches which could be discovered: sea glass, sand dollars, sea shells.

John and Sophie set their stuff on the sandiest spot they could find on the pebbly beach. He watched her as he struggled to dig in the parasol, which was no easy feat on a rocky beach. The light wind blew her hair as she laid out the blanket. She looked so beautiful, he thought.

Sophie sat down on her haunches, staring out into the vast blue sky, fiddling with the rocks on the ground with a small stick. She jumped up when a small spider made its way out, quickly scurrying away.

“Don’t you remember what lurks under there,” John teased.

She laughed. “Oh… I remember,” she told him. “Maybe I like to live dangerously.”

“You? Live dangerously?” he said with a grin, “Never.”

Jesse and Paige ran over, pulling off their t-shirts and flinging them over in Sophie’s direction.

“Oh thank you,” Sophie smiled, grabbing the shirts. “I guess we’re going swimming.”

“You come here,” John asked Paige, pulling her gently by the wrist. “We should put some sunblock on you,” he told her, grabbing the bottle. Paige rolled her eyes and he knew he was annoying her – in that way doting fathers usually annoyed their daughters.

“I don’t want her getting burned again,” he explained to Sophie who was smiling at him.

“Who knew you were so diligent,” she said quietly.

He looked at her and smiled. Her gaze drifted away quickly, but her smile didn’t fade. He knew his smile always initiated that response in her – and he loved it.

“I’ve put mine on already,” Jesse told his mother as he ran towards the water. John laughed at the sight of him, dipping his feet hesitantly as if the ocean were full of lethal creatures and daggers.

“Go on, go for it!” Sophie cheered.

“Oh… you’re one to talk,” John chimed in. “You don’t even have your suit on.” And how he wished she did.

She laughed. “Oh... there’s no way I’m going in there. It’s freezing.”

“C’mon,” he teased with that smile he knew she responded to. “It’s a little shocking at first,” he went on. “But after a few seconds, your body adjusts.”

“I don’t want my body to
adjust
. My body is just fine sitting right here,” she insisted.

And he laughed at her again – he couldn’t help it.

Paige joined Jesse in the water, and she didn’t hesitate to grab his hand and pull him in with all her might. He struggled, but finally he sank with a big splash and a scream.

Sophie laughed. “Pretty crazy, your daughter,” she said. “Like father, like daughter.”

“Yeah… I was just thinking of doing the same to you,” he threatened, leaning in towards her.

“Oh no, you wouldn’t,” she gulped, a terrified look on her face.

“Oh… I would.”

“But I have clothes on,” she protested, looking down at her cut-off shorts.

He didn’t care – he just wanted to have a little fun with her.

He leaned down and scooped her up, as easily as if she were a feather, and hoisted her over his shoulder.

“Don’t you dare, John Moretti,” she screamed as he ran towards the water.

“Do it… do it,” Jesse cheered on. “She’s going down,”

“No, I’m not,” Sophie cried. “He wouldn’t.”

John edged her down close to the water. “Should I?”

“No,” she screamed. He could hear the fear in her voice. She really thought he was going to do it.

“Do it!” Jesse and Paige pushed.

“My arms are getting pretty tired,” John warned her, lowering her closer to the edge of the water… stopping just in time, her rear sitting barely an inch from the water.

He smiled at her. He didn’t know if he wanted to dunk her or kiss her. But he knew either would be ill-advised.

He finally scooped her back up on his shoulder, and walked her to the beach. His arms were killing him.

He threw himself on the beach next to her.

“Count yourself lucky you didn’t throw me in,” she told him, sucking in a deep breath.

“Why? What would you have done to me if I had?” he asked, curious.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But I would have thought of something,” she told him with a playful smile.

They sat quietly for the longest time, looking at their children enjoying themselves in the water.

“He’s so happy,” Sophie said softly. John could see the tears forming in her eyes and he knew this was a meaningful moment for her. And he didn’t have the words to interrupt such a moment. He thought it would be best if he said nothing.

“I’m so glad he’s finally happy,” she confided in John. “After his father died…” she trailed off, “a child should never lose his father.”

It occurred to John that what she was going through was history repeating itself. Sophie had lost her own father abruptly as well. And she had never properly mourned him, she had never shed a tear – instead she had spent the initial weeks after her father’s death consoling her best friend…

The service had been quiet, despite the many friends and family who had made an appearance. People are usually at a loss for words at funerals, awkward silences filling the air. But it was even more so, when death had arrived so abruptly, at the hands of a young, irresponsible young man who had decided to drive drunk after a party, and killed an innocent father of two.

The funeral home had been filled with flowers – the smell so pungent, it was one of the few memories John had of that day.

Later in the night, John and Sophie were hiding out in Sophie’s room, on her patchwork quilted bed. John rested his head on Sophie’s legs. He couldn’t hold in his emotions any longer. He had done a good job at the service, but in Sophie’s room, he couldn’t do it anymore.

Her father had been like his own – the father he had never had. John hadn’t realized what Sophie’s father had done for him at the time – taking a fatherless boy under his wing; teaching how to build a deck, how to play chess, how to plant bulbs, how to replace the fan belt in his truck, bringing him a lemonade on hot summers days while he himself, had a cold beer.

“He’s never coming back, ever,” John cried into Sophie’s black silky dress, “all because of some stupid jerk.”

“I know John… life isn’t fair,” she soothed him, stroking his dirty blond locks. “Life doesn’t make sense.”

“What’s the point of life,” he cried, “if the people you love are just snatched away?”

“That’s what life is,” she told him. “Loving people,” she went on in the most quietest of voices, “…and losing people.”

John wondered how she could be so darn logical, and without emotion. “Aren’t you upset, Snow?” he asked. “He was
your
dad.”

“I am. I’m just as upset as you,” she told him. “You have no idea. But I have my own ways of dealing.”

“How is that?” he asked, tears filling his eyes.

“Well, I’ve been gathering photos and mementos,” she told him. “And I’m thinking of making a scrapbook.”

“Would you like me to help me?” she asked. “We could make one for you too.” 

And that’s what they had done that fall, during the weeks following her father’s death.

He still had the book. He still treasured it. He loved it – and he loved her. He had loved her since.

He looked at her, sitting next to him on the beach, and he knew he still loved her – had always loved her.

She smiled at him, completely oblivious. “Are you going in?” she asked.

He pondered her question for a second or two. “I was thinking about it.”

“You should,” she said. “Just because I’m a wimp, doesn’t mean you have to be.”

The water did look refreshing, and John thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take a cool dip.

He tore off his t-shirt, and slathered on some sunblock. He noticed her watching him with subtle glances. Smiling, he handed her the bottle, “Do you mind?” he asked. “I can’t quite reach my back.”

The look on her face told him she didn’t mind at all.

“Uh… sure,” she stammered, trying to act coy.

The feel of her hands on his back was amazing. She slathered the sunblock meticulously over his shoulders, down his middle back, and down his lower back. He had already covered that part but there was no sense telling her that.

She reached around, and her fingertips edged on his lower stomach. And he felt himself getting aroused. He didn’t want her to stop – but she absolutely had to.

“Uh… I…I think I’m good, Snow,” he said, quickly standing to his feet.

“Are you sure?” she asked with a sly smile.

Now he
definitely
needed a nice cold dip.

Sophie would have liked to rub her hands all over him – he was just so darn gorgeous with his shirt off. She had enjoyed the feel of his skin and tight muscles on her hands, and as a result, her hands had strayed a little too far, but he had reined her in – no funny business with John – he didn’t seem to want to let that ever happen.

He waved at her before he dove in.

There had been a complete role reversal. When they had been teenagers, he had wanted her. And now, she was the one who desperately wanted him.

But a huge part of her was thankful John had been a perfect gentleman – as much as she wanted him, she didn’t want the consequences of them being together; the eventual separation, the heartbreak, the loss. She had sworn off love – and even someone as wonderful as John would not change her mind.

***

John and Paige settled down to dinner – nothing fancy – John had made beef tacos. Paige was quite animated about the day, chattering away. John tried to focus on the conversation, but his thoughts kept drifting to Sophie.