Badger the Mystical Mutt and the Barking Boogie (3 page)

The patrolling Pong Police stopped immediately at the wheelie bins and shouted for back-up. They loaded their deadly sprays and took aim.

Cheryl and Dodgy Dave cowered inside the wheelie bin, listening to the commotion outside. Dodgy Dave peered through a tiny hole and saw more and more of the Pong Police gathering around them, with their back packs and their sprays. They were surrounded, with nowhere to run.

Dodgy Dave winced, both at the scene outside and the smell inside as yet another slow, low
prffffft
sneaked out of Cheryl's bottom. He turned to her in horror.

“What on earth do you eat to make you smell so badly, Cheryl?”

“Just my usual hot Mexican fajitas. Why? What's wrong with them?”

“But they're really spicy, Cheryl! Far too spicy for dogs. Right, how are we going to get out of this one? The Pong Police are loading their sprays, ready to fire.”

“If only Badger the Mystical Mutt were here. He could help us with one of his special spells.”

Dodgy Dave rolled his eyes. “Badger the Mystical Mutt? What could he do?”

Meanwhile, back in Badger's garden, his neckerchief started to unravel from his neck. It swirled around and pointed towards the lane.

“Whoa, 'Chief!” said Badger, “We're not supposed to go anywhere near the lane. Didn't you see the notice from the Pong Police?”

'Chief nodded, but beckoned Badger and pointed upwards.

“It's a flying mission then?”

Badger stood up lazily, straightened his legs and shook his bottom until his tail whirred. Soon, he was hovering in the air above his garden. He followed 'Chief out into the lane and up towards the wheelie bins. There, he saw the Pong Police poised to start covering the bins with their toxic spray.

He heard a tiny cough and smelt an enormous pong, and knew straightaway that Cheryl was inside.

“Uh-oh!” he thought. “I need to create a diversion, and quickly.” He looked up at 'Chief, who was still hovering in the sky alongside him, and whispered:
“Show Koo Ray, Show Koo Ray, create some wind, and make them go away.”

'Chief swirled and swirled until a mini tornado swept down the lane. The Pong Police watched in confusion as leaves and dust spun and whirled around them. But it only made them more determined to fire their sprays.

“Well done, 'Chief, but it's not stopping them from firing. And if that poison is carried in the wind then we're all in danger. I'll try something else.” He scratched his head, pointed his ears towards the crew's backpacks, and said quickly:

“Treacle, trickle, gunge and goo,
Change their sprays to something new!”

As Badger circled above, out of sight from the Pong Police, he watched them fire their sprays over the wheelie bins. But instead of a fine mist of poisonous spray, thick treacle covered the bins.

The Pong Police jumped back and ran away, baffled by what was in their backpacks. Badger landed in the lane with a bump.

Dodgy Dave and Cheryl clambered out of the treacle-covered bin.

Dodgy Dave gave himself a shake, then fled. Cheryl shouted after him, and turned to Badger, a little bewildered.

“Come on, Cheryl. Back to mine!”

Back in his garden, Badger sat Cheryl down.

“Okay, I do think Dodgy Dave likes you, but I don't think your smelliness is the only reason he flees when he sees you. I think he's worried you'll tell the gang about his dancing.”

“But why would his dancing be a problem?” asked Cheryl

“Because he's the gang leader, so he has to be tough. I think the rest of the gang might think he's a bit namby-pamby for dancing. He's a hard nut, Cheryl. He's been on the run from the Dog Catcher for as long as I've known him.”

“But I have to have a dance partner for the
Hotpaws Barking Boogie
, and Dodgy Dave is my best chance.”

“Then talk to him about it. But don't do it in front of the gang. Now, let's see if we can work on my smell-removing spell, to help you in the meantime.”

Badger tried and failed again to remove Cheryl's smell. She shrugged her shoulders and thanked him for trying.

As she slipped through the crack in the fence, she came nose to nose with Dodgy Dave.

“Ah, Dodgy Dave, I've been looking for you,” said Cheryl, looking up at him, and smiling prettily.

Dodgy Dave grunted and turned to go, but Cheryl jumped up onto his head and put her tiny paws over his eyes.

“No, stop! Don't run away from me again. I know you love to dance. I love to dance too. And it's the
Hotpaws Barking Boogie
this weekend. Please, Dodgy Dave, will you be my dancing partner?”

Dodgy Dave shook himself, hoping to dislodge Cheryl from the top of his head, but she clung on tightly.

“Please, Dodgy Dave?”

“I don't know what you're talking about. All I know is that I have an annoying smell on top of my head.”

“But you love the merengue, the dig swivel, the jitterbug and jive.” Cheryl did a few dainty steps of each dance as she spoke. “Your timing is amazing. I've seen you cha-cha, rumba, samba … and you've got a sweet Lindy Hop. I've watched you in the moonlight.”

Before he could reply, four menacing shapes emerged from behind the old oak tree.

“Oi, Dodgy Dave!” teased Snif. “Why don't you show us your Paso Doble then?”

“Or maybe you could do a little pirouette for us, you wishy-washy dancer-doggie,” scoffed Pogo Paws

“Did you put the
dum
in the dumdiddydoodoo?” shouted Pickle.

“No, he put the
diddy
in the dumdiddydoodoo!” sneered Snif.

“Oh, can you do the Slosh?” asked Lennie hopefully, kicking out his right paw.

Dodgy Dave grinned in embarrassment and said, “She's clearly mad, gang. You know she's always chasing us. She's bonkers. I mean dancing? Me? Never! That's for girlies, not tough guys like me.”

Cheryl looked at Dave in disbelief.

“Badger said I should talk to you about dancing but now I wish I hadn't bothered,” said Cheryl scowling, before adding haughtily, “You've got about as much charm as a squashed satsuma anyway.”

“I might have known that Mystical Mutt was behind this. Wait until I get my paws on him!” shouted Dodgy Dave. “In fact, Pogo Paws, send a p-mail now to Badger. and tell him that our little pongy Cheryl here is unavoidably
stuck
in the lane.”