Be Careful What You Wish For (2 page)

Her fingers walked up his legs, and then her hands smoothed and massaged, journeying upward, holding and caressing his balls. They twitched. He moaned. Encouraged, she explored the forest of dark hair and the erect penis reaching out towards her, encouraging her to take hold. Fingers wrapped around its body, familiarising themselves with the pulsing, the throbbing, rhythmic movements of pleasure. She knew now he too was excited. She began to move further up the body, but with an unexpected shyness, unwilling to meet his eyes, knowing she would give herself away.

But then, suddenly, he reached for her. And she was glad as easily he rolled on top and softly, smoothly, penetrated her achingly wet pussy, plunging into her depths, making her gasp with pleasure.

How easily came the feelings... they gave long audible gasps, thrusting together again and again, and then holding tight, urgently hanging on as a cascade of feelings welled up, washing over them like a waterfall. An orgasm caught each of them in turn and spilled over, exploding into tiny atoms of emotion, triggering electric impulses to run up and down their bodies.

She was laughing and crying at the same time, snuggling into his shoulder as together they rolled, reversing positions, so that she sat astride him, feeling another swell of emotion catch hold, rising from the deepest part of her being. God, this was good. No, more, much more; it was beautiful. Sheer heaven! Never had she felt like this. It was like being born again; she didn't want it to end, didn't want the reality of the real world to take over, to pull them apart, and to have the ordinariness of everyday things get in the way of such extraordinary ecstasy. All her life she had wished to be somewhere like this, to know what it was like to be loved in that way.

Then his arms opened wide and she fell into his loving embrace. He held her tight. She felt warm and snug and safe. They were strange feelings given the life she had led... stranger yet because of the kind of life she was entering. And yet it all seemed so natural, so right for her. Like coming home.

Finally they lay together, spent.

He watched the lids fall over her eyes, listened to her even breathing, and pulled the quilt up around her, snuggling her into his side. In his hands was the leash he had attached to cuffs around her wrists, holding her hands together, making her his even in sleep. Then he too slept, certain in the knowledge that finally he had found his Prize.

 

 

‘Hey, Abi...
wait
. You're always in such a hurry to get away these days.'

Abi slowed her pace reluctantly to wait for Nikki to come alongside.

‘I'm late for an appointment over the other side of town. What's up?' She resented this intrusion on her thoughts.

‘Well, your contract is almost done here. Have you got anything planned? Anywhere to move on to with regards work?'

Abi sighed. She didn't need this now. ‘I've been filling in application forms for weeks, but I don't have another job to go to yet.'

‘Well, you could do worse than staying on with us and moving into another position. You know Boss would be happy; there's always a place somewhere for you. That would save you having to find anywhere new at all.'

She knew what Boss wanted, only too well. And she deserved better. For three years he'd taken the credit for what she'd achieved, pushing his name forward instead of her own, using her ideas, her words, her plans. Now her contract was almost complete he needed her to turn her attentions in another direction, passing her on into a field that was flagging in the hope she would raise its profile, and his into the bargain.

Abi looked at her watch, quickening her pace. ‘I'm sorry, I've got to go. But... I'll keep you posted.' She pushed open the outer door leading to the car park, and was soon through the barrier, snug in her Nissan, away out of sight of the building with Nikki standing looking after her.

She knew Nikki would report to Boss. She also realised she'd be hounded, goaded, coaxed and cajoled until she could positively say she had somewhere else to go. Boss badly needed her services, which she wasn't prepared to give, not any more. Besides, it wasn't just her. Other staff were leaving. Moving on. Even those who'd worked there for years were having second thoughts. He wasn't a manager. Bickering and gossip were rife amongst staff. He only fuelled the fire by setting one person up against another. In failing to meet his targets his organisation was losing money hand over fist. Questions were being asked in high places. She didn't intend to put her own reputation on the line, to be a part of their downfall, or on the other hand, sign another contract while they all somehow struggled through another year with no guarantees at the end.

Abi spurred the Nissan through a network of roads, dropping in to speak to people in three local meeting places before heading home. All her working life had been about meeting the needs of different groups in various parts of the country. She was used to evenings and weekends taken up helping a young homeless person find a place to stay, coordinating exhibitions, promoting awareness of local issues and problems, creating newsletters, listening and supporting whenever and wherever needed.

Her whole life, it seemed, had been about service to others. She was well-liked, well-respected, relied upon by people in authority as well as those on the street. Was it
so
wrong to want for herself the same kind of service she had given others?

As she put the key in the lock to open the front door she was once more filled with the familiar sense of longing, loneliness, desire. She was proud of her home. She'd built it up out of almost nothing, decorated the interior and created a patio in the garden to enjoy her efforts outside. But without anyone to share it, where was the life and the love that would make it come alive, to give that warmth of knowing she really was
home
?

For moments she stood gazing out the window, watching the rosebuds raise their heads and open petals to the heat of the sun. Oh how much she could give to The One who might love and fulfil
her
need.

She remembered suddenly why she'd wanted so badly to return home. Pausing to flick the switch on the kettle she skipped up the stairs to the Den, and kicked the computer into life. While it was starting up she changed hastily out of work clothes and into jog trousers and baggy jumper, went back down to the kitchen to make a mug of coffee, and eagerly trod the stairs again, closing the door of the Den, to position herself in front of the screen.

Her finger clicked the mouse, scrolling through pages to the one she sought. Frantic now she scanned the In Box, desperate for a positive response to her mail.

She'd found the site a few months ago, and researched the subject well. Now, armed with newfound knowledge, she was impatient to put theory into practice and test if it was right for her.

Before moving on to the replies she read once more the letter she'd posted, conscious it could be read by anyone in the world.

 

I am new to this, so please be patient with me.

I'm a newly-discovered sub. Not realising I am submissive actually made me a victim through a lifetime of destructive and controlling relationships where I was dominated, controlled and ruled by fear. It is therefore with some surprise that I am only just admitting to discovering within a deep aching need to be controlled and dominated and to be submissive... but with love, and within a safe, protective, trusting, understanding environment.

I thought I was asking the impossible, until I happened upon this site. It is with some trepidation therefore that I take this first tentative step towards understanding this hidden ‘dark side' of me, and just where it might lead.

To me this is not a game. I come with emotional baggage, fears and phobias resulting from a violent past. I have been trained to be obedient. I am used to being so open as to make myself vulnerable. My only fear is being hurt and having my trust betrayed over again.

I am not addicted to pain as some on this site seem to be, but only wish to give, to please, to be of service and to have someone else take control, with my best interests at heart. My character is one of submission. I wish only to be accepted just the way I am and to be allowed to be the person I am in safety.

I feel a growing need to be with someone who can learn alongside me, working with me, developing and growing and learning to fly beyond what is... to what could be, together.

I value your comments, suggestions and shared thoughts and feelings.

Pandora

 

She had thought long and hard about the right name to use. It seemed appropriate. She'd opened a new email box especially for any response.

Her stomach flipped at two replies awaiting her attention.

 

I am an old Master, 53 years young, seeking a new slave to train. I have 20 years' experience. I will gently and patiently train you from scratch to be SLAVE. Your teaching will progress gradually until you are a total slave for my use. Your age, size, shape and looks are not important. A willingness to learn and serve, along with a sense of humour, is!

Master David

 

I am a kind and caring experienced Domination Master. I am looking for a new sub for a long-term relationship. I am interested in the psychology of power and also the lighter aspects of punishment. You need to be genuinely submissive. I am intelligent and well-educated and expect you to be more than a doormat!

Tempest

 

Abi sat still in her chair, reading and re-reading the words, aware of the oddest feeling. Deep somewhere within raged a mix of emotions. In her groin was a growing tingling sensation, an ache, a need. She felt sticky, damp. And as the tingling reached up into her stomach and beyond, spasms made her breath come in short gasps, causing her to wriggle and squirm. What was it that touched her so deeply? These were just words... but what if they were to become real? How much more might she feel then? The thought entered her head, and with it a picture of submission to a Master. She was stirred into such a state of excitement she had to break off for a while and lie on her double bed, a buzzing vibrator held between her legs, returning to the screen much later.

She tried to focus on other things, to do the ordinary jobs that came with owning her own home. But she was drawn by curiosity. She could almost taste the arousal so much a part of her now. Inside she was on fire with a thirst, a passion to learn more, to become a part of this brave, intriguing new world she'd found almost by chance. She hardly dare pursue the question of this madness that had taken hold. She'd no-one to talk these things through with, except those who came online.

And so it began... this journey into the unknown.

For two weeks emails flew back and forth across the ether. She spent as much time as possible in front of the screen, drawn into this secret world of pain, pleasure and desire. She knew from everything she'd read on the subject that domination and submission was about everything from pain and pleasure to ultimate power exchange. What she was looking for was that each participant be an equal part of a committed and consensual relationship that offered mutual openness, respect, trust, and where she would be valued as the pleaser, the giver, the submissive she was, dominated and controlled... in love. It was a very special and very powerful kind of relationship.

And yet...

Something was missing. Something...

One evening she arrived home later than usual, and a new and very different message awaited her.

 

I bring you with reverent hands

The book of my numberless dreams,

White woman that passion has worn

As the tide wears the dove grey sands

And with a heart more old than the horn

That is brimmed from the pale fire of time.

White lady with the numberless dreams

I bring you my passionate rhyme.

White Lady with the Numberless Dreams... will you share your dreams with me?

Dream Catcher

 

A white heat seared suddenly through her body, making her gasp, catching her unawares. She throbbed in every fibre of her being. Driven by an unexplained passion never experienced before, her fingers pounded the keys.

 

It is a frightening thing to suddenly find this dark side exists within. People through the years have tried to change me into what they wanted me to be, telling me that acting as a victim is wrong.

‘You should be more assertive,' they say. ‘You need to take control. You're too soft, too open, too vulnerable for your own good. It's little wonder you get hurt!'

It's a relief to discover that being submissive is not wrong. That is probably why I have felt the victim without understanding the greater implications ruling my life, and this is the essence of my true self. I can be free to be the real me if only I can find the right environment and teacher who can give me the freedom to be Me, and accept and love me for who and what I am.

And more, for it is in acknowledging and learning to accept this ‘other' part of me that I find this ‘dark side' which has remained hidden for so long. Suddenly I am aching to break free and to embrace this new life. To share it with One who knows.