Beautifully Awake (9 page)

“One more truth.”

“What?”

“How long has it been? And please don’t lie to me.”

My cheeks flamed.

“Um, about thirty minutes, give or take a minute,” I retorted with my feeble attempt at dodging the question.

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

Yeah, I knew. But why did it matter
now
?

“Why does it matter now? I think we’ve established I’m a sure thing at this point.”
Please don’t push this.

“Because I don’t want to hurt you. Baby, you are so incredibly tight and you’re already swollen. Tell me.” His concern rocked me.

“Um. Three years.”

“Fuck, Blue, you should have said something. I could have hurt you.” He oozed sincerity.

“You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine.” Better than fine. My groin throbbed for more than one reason. A dose of Motrin would deal with that later. I tensed my thighs around his hard length, hoping to urge him on and end this conversation.

“Baby, I want nothing more than to drive into you again, but I don’t trust myself ... you have no idea what you just did to me, watching you come in my mouth, screaming my name. I’d tear you in half. Not an option.”
Damn
. “Besides, I need this,” he cupped between my legs, “in good health to reach my goal.” This man was going to be the death of me.

“Goal … care to share?”

“How high can you count?”

My eyes widened. “So tell me, in your professional opinion, what’s my, um, projected recovery time?”

“Hard to tell. Don’t worry. I’ll be keeping a
very, very
close personal eye on the situation.” He flashed a mischievous grin and gave me a quick, gentle kiss. I could definitely get used to this.

He rolled on his back and pulled me tight against his chest, planting the sweetest kiss on my head. “Time to sleep, Blue. Speeds the healing process. Doctor’s orders.”

Mmm. Sleep. Physically spent and beyond sated, sleep sounded blissful. Especially wrapped in the warmth of this man’s strong arms. Two weeks of five AM wake ups, extra long runs and sleepless nights—I was exhausted. Tonight I did something I’d never done, I lived in the moment, succumbing to desire and giving in to my anger. I was still not okay with the cold shoulder he gave me all week with no explanation, but I realized I hoped in time he would trust
me
enough to explain why he walked away. I felt something tonight and realized I missed
feeling.
I greedily wanted more. I suddenly wanted to take a chance on anything and everything this man had to offer. Yes, he was confusing as all hell, but now I’d seen a side of him that I never expected. He was intense and dominant, but he was also playful and gentle. He physically took me to places I had begun to doubt existed outside a hot romance novel. More than anything, he made me feel sexy and desired. Part of me wanted to fight to stay awake and never let this night end. What if I woke up tomorrow and this was just a dream? What if either one of us woke up second guessing what we had done, tainting the memory?

As if he read my mind and wanted to put my doubts to sleep as well, he said in a low whisper, “I hope you didn’t have any plans this weekend. After tonight, I have no intention on sharing you. If ever.”

“Mmm. Sounds good and you’re in luck. It just so happens, I’m free until Sunday night.”

“Really. And what’s Sunday?”

If I wasn’t mistaken, I thought I heard a hint of jealousy.

“Oh, I go to bed early. My boss can be a bit of a hard ass. I have to be at work at an ungodly hour.” I chuckled, snuggling in tighter, taking in all of his scent. Crisp soap mixed with musk, mixed with sex. Delicious.

“Sounds like a real prick. Should I have a word with him?” He smiled against my temple.

“Nah ... turns out he’s not that bad ... just doesn’t enjoy sleeping in like the rest of the world.”

“Maybe his bed has been too empty.”

Yeah. He definitely knew the right things to say.

He held me closer. “Sleep, beautiful.”

I closed my eyes and contentment washed over me. A quick vision popped in my head. Tired and now a little giddy, I couldn’t resist. “You really fell off the stage?”

“
Flat on my ass
.”

“You have to tell me what song you were doing, so I don’t accidentally play it in the OR. I wouldn’t want you to have an embarrassing flashback while operating,” I teased.

“Baby,
you
can play any music you want. I usually like it silent, but I let you pick because I love the way you look when you’re singing along in your head, nodding along, thinking no one’s looking.” He lifted my chin and kissed my lips one last time. “Now sleep, gorgeous. Sleep.”

I took a deep breath and followed doctor’s orders.
Good night, Dr. Sweet.

T
he aroma of freshly brewed coffee permeated through my apartment. I opened my eyes. It was early. I slipped my tiny tortoise-shelled glasses on and jostled the edge of my sheer pewter drape to see a perfectly clear blue sky. The sunlight filtered through my room, creating tiny prism rainbows on my ceiling. Discovering the source, my heart skipped, a beautiful stainless steel watch sat so casually on my night table. A perfectly indented pillow nestled close to mine. Both subtle reminders that I wasn’t dreaming. The perma-grin etched across my cheeks and my sated, sore body was more evidence of my reality. Like a child on Christmas morning, I was giddy with excitement. I quietly slipped out of bed to look for my present, naked.
Mmm
. I put on the first thing I saw and peeked my head out of my tiny bedroom alcove. Thank goodness last night was definitely not a dream. Chase leaned against the tiny kitchen island, coffee in hand, thumbing through the morning paper. Shirtless and barefoot with last night’s slacks loosely hanging right below his hips, accentuating those insanely sexy V-cuts and his tattoo. His hard chest and biceps flexed each time he brought the mug to his lips. This was a sight I would never tire of.

His eyes lifted. “Did I wake you?” he asked in a deep and velvety morning voice.

I shook my head no. “Do you
ever
sleep in?” The clock on the wall read ten to seven.

“This is sleeping in.” He shrugged and opened his arms like an invitation. “Come here. I have an idea I think you’re going to love.”

I walked toward him in my tiny white tank and loose cotton shorts. Typical early morning weekend attire. He pulled me against his hard chest and buried his head in my neck, breathing me in.

“Baby, you smell so good, I just can’t get enough of you.”

“You got in my pants, Chase, you can stop with the flattery.” I grinned wryly and looked in his eyes.
I just can’t get enough of you.

“Never, you’re stuck with it ... in and out of your pants.”

I smacked his arm and he playfully tickled me, throwing me over his shoulder.

“Put me down,” I squealed, looking at a perfectly defined ass.

“I’ll put you down right where I want you.” He placed me on the cold bathroom tile and stripped me bare. Dazed by clothes being tossed about and still giggling from his tickling escapade, I was surprised at how quickly his jovial eyes turned purposeful. “Spread your legs a little, let me see.”

Oh no, he isn’t.
“See what?”

“I need to check on my piece.” He dropped to a crouch and lifted my leg over his shoulder. “Oh baby, you’re still a little red.” He gently opened me, peeking inside.

Good lord, is he freaking kidding me?
“All I need is for you to shine your pen light.” He arched his brow and grinned, like he was considering it. “Don’t you dare.” His grin got bigger, but his eyes softened.

“I know you’re sore, let me take care of you.” He placed a wet kiss on each of my inner thighs and stood, dropping his pants.
Holy Commando.
He turned on the shower, adjusted the water temperature and pulled me in. My back softened into his warm wet chest. His arms banded around my middle, snaking up to knead my breasts. My head fell back to rest on his shoulder. I moaned into the steamy stream of water. His hardening erection pushed into my butt, increasing my already heightened arousal. He licked drops of water from my neck, spending extra time to suck and nip his way up to my ear.
Mmm, Dr. Affectionate.

“Do you know how sexy you are, Blue?”

“Um. Do
you
know how sexy
you
are?”

His growl sent a shiver up my spine. He slid a slippery hand down my stomach and ended between my legs, circling the rim of my opening with exquisite gentleness.

“I want
this
so bad, but easy first, baby ... no way I’ll ever tire of hearing you moan my name.” He created a rhythm of constant pleasure. My hips pulsed to the beat until I arched my back into his miracle fingers.

I checked all my inhibitions at the door last night, breathlessly moaning, “Yes, oh Chase, don’t stop.” Then without warning, I exploded repeatedly, pivoting my hips. Panting, I pressed my palm against the shower wall for support while I returned from pure bliss
again
. He languidly dragged his hands up along my sides, stopping to push my damp hair over my shoulder. His soft wet lips kissed along the top of my collarbone before nuzzling into my neck.

“That’s four. I’ll surprise you for five, but number six, I’m back inside.” He groaned, spinning me around to devour my mouth. I leaned into his chest and hung on. I could spend my life kissing this man and never be satisfied. He swatted my ass and broke our kiss.

“Chase.” I bit my lower lip and ran my hands over his slippery chest.
Hmm … sexy and wet and the promise of later ... mmm.

“You’re addicting, baby. If I don’t stop kissing you we’ll never get anywhere. Come on, turn around and let me wash you.” He grabbed my poof and soaped my body. Touching, caressing, massaging every inch.

“Mmm, I’ve never been so clean.” I seductively batted my eyelashes and licked my lips.

“You’re teasing me and my self control is running out,” he joked.

Feeling possessed and more wanton, I whispered, “Um. Last time I checked, only my vagina was on the injured reserved list. My mouth-” He cut me off before I could finish what would have been the boldest sentence of my life. He tangled his hands in my wet hair, and his lust-filled eyes locked only inches from mine.

“Don’t even, that pretty little mouth is going to be my reward.”

“Reward?” I blushed.

“Double digits, baby.” He mischievously raised his brow and kissed the tip of my nose. “Damn. The thought of those lips around my cock. I was determined before ... now I’m a man on a mission.”

OMG.

“Are you really not going to let me, you know, until-” My flush deepened.

“Double digits. Then you get
whatever
you want. Trust me. Pretty sure this is a win-win.” His devilish grin was sexier than sin. How could I argue with a man on a mission?

“Now, I have a surprise and I really want to get us there ... so stop eying my junk, sweetness. Not gonna happen.”

It was hard to explain exactly what I felt when he looked at me like that. The only thing that came to mind was lucky. Like drawing the last
get out of jail free
card after passing go
and
collecting two hundred, only to find out I inherited boardwalk and park place
with
hotels. Insanely over-the-top lucky. I hoped to enjoy whatever
this
was between us, at least as long as one of those damn games lasted.

“Get us there? Ooo, tell me?”

“Nope, a surprise is a surprise.” He grabbed the shampoo and lathered my hair. All business. My scalp got the same heavenly pampering as my body. I wasn’t complaining, more like melting.

“Rinse, Lil.” He cupped my cheeks and kissed me affectionately.

“I want to wash
you.
”

“Next time, baby, time to pack.” He pushed me out of the door.

“Pack?” I questioned, while stepping out of the shower to grab a towel. Where was he taking me?

P
acked for
something,
I plopped down in the front seat of his sleek convertible. I sunk back and ogled his car. It was immaculate and almost as beautiful as him. Clean crisp lines, bronze infused leather, hard wood and stainless steel accents screamed all things
Chase
. I had a gut feeling this car was expensive. Like, really expensive. Maybe the change in medical reimbursement didn’t hit neurosurgeons yet. A hard-working man like Chase deserved his toy.

Smiling, I removed my sunglasses from my hair and covered my eyes. I admired the exquisite man next to me in his captivating car. This beautiful, cloudless summer day lent perfectly to a road trip with the top down. I must have been dreaming. I pinched my arm. Thank god it hurt.

“Ready?” He smiled.

“Ready, what about you? Don’t we need to go to your place and pack?” He had a clean shirt in his car, since last night’s found its way into my trash, but he was still wearing his dress pants. Commando, yet again.

“I’m good. I plan on being naked as much as possible.” He cockily grinned and rubbed his hand up my bare thigh, sending a jolt directly to my sex. He had a one-track mind. One that I was easily getting used to. “If we have to, we’ll shop a little.”

“Oh shit, I knew I forgot something. I’m supposed to meet Sierra later to go over baby shower stuff. It’s okay, I’m sure we can do it one night this week.” I fished through my bag looking for my phone.

“You sure, Blue? As much as I’m not in the mood to share, I’d rather your best friend not hate me. We didn’t exactly start out on the right foot last night.” He started the engine and hit the button for the top to come down. I silently jumped up and down in my seat.

“That’s sweet, Chase, but she’ll be fine.” After a play by play. I shot Sierra a quick text and folded my leg under my bottom. Chase rested his hand back on my bare thigh. “So I really have to wait, huh? Not even a little hint?”

“Sorry, baby.”

I slumped back into the leather and fake pouted. I had nothing to pout about. I gazed out the window thinking how quickly twelve hours could alter your life. My emotions were on a rollercoaster now, cruising somewhere along could-my-life get-any-freaking-better track. A course I was never privy to. I mentally beamed. Heck, it was my time to enjoy the ride. I weaved my fingers through his. He glanced in my direction and gave me a soft smile.

I playfully tickled his arm. “What do you want to listen to, Dr. Rock-n-Roll?”

“I’m good with whatever,” he deadpanned.
Why’d he do that?

“You sure?” I flipped through the channels and landed on the Swedish House Mafia hit, “Don’t You Worry, Child.” I hummed for a moment. I loved that song. His hand abruptly left my thigh and gripped the steering wheel. His jaw tightened and his knuckles whitened as the volume of the lead singer’s voice escalated. The lump in my throat kept me from swallowing, and a swarm of bees took over my stomach. Dr. Intensity was back. “I liked the peaceful silence.” I turned it off. The trigger of his tension was obvious. I attempted to diffuse the looming intensity by lightly massaging his neck. Chase and music just didn’t mix. It didn’t make sense; he was in a band growing up. “You okay?”

He slightly relaxed with my touch as I watched the pulse in his neck bound continuously.

“You want to talk about it?” I headbanded my glasses and studied him closer. His eyes never wavered from the road. “Was it the music?” I continued to stroke down his rigid arms.

“I’m fine, Lil, I’m fine.”

“Truth, Chase.”

“Not now.” He released his grip on the wheel, making himself comfortable between my legs. Losing focus almost immediately to his miracle fingers, my body fell to command. His rhythmic touch had my mind spinning and my body ablaze. This man was going to kill me.

T
wo windblown hours later, the city skyline stole my breath.

“Oh Chase, I’m so excited! I’ve always wanted to come to New York.”

He leaned over the center console and ran his fingers through my hair.

“Come here, Blue.” He coaxed me closer, awarding my lips with a sweet, soft kiss. I smiled under his touch as the butterflies quietly fluttered. That kiss made something deep within me warm all over.

“Mmm.” I brushed my fingertips along his stubble. His morning shadow covered his cheeks and chin. His hair was windblown and he wore dark rimmed aviator glasses, making him look sexily disheveled. My sex tightened and my heart quickened. Two responses I was beginning to crave.

“Sooo, what’s on the agenda in the city that never sleeps?”

“
Definitely
not sleep.” He winked at me under his shades and restarted his assault on my inner thigh. After losing my thong an hour and thirty minutes back and increasing my tally by one
(my surprise number five),
it seemed as rapidly as Dr. Intensity flashed his ugly head Dr. Sexy reawakened. Our playful banter and lots of touching was distraction enough for now.

I sat up in my seat and enjoyed the hustle and bustle of New York City. I was like a kid in a candy store on senses overload. My head bounced from one window to the next, trying to capture every moment.

“Good Afternoon, Dr. Colton. How was your ride?” Distracted by the stop and go of the city traffic, I hadn’t realized we reached our destination. An older white-gloved man, dressed in dark grey and a matching hat opened his car door.

“I’m good, Charles, how’ve you been?”

“Well. Thank you.”

Chase’s large frame smoothly exited his low riding car to tower over the older gentleman. I unclicked my seatbelt and began to stir, taming my wild hair and righting my pale yellow sundress. Shit. My torn thong was in his pocket. Even I knew pale yellow and bright summer sun was not a combination that worked with no underwear.

“How long are you staying, Sir?”

“Just until tomorrow, Charles, probably late afternoon. Can you have the car waiting?”

“Of course, Sir, and I’ll have your bags brought right up.”

Chase handed him the car keys.

“Oh Miss, let me.” Charles flew around the hood to open my door.

I was not all that anxious to get out. My eyes widened as they locked on Chase’s hungry stare. He smirked and slightly shook his head, making his way around the car.

“I got her, Charles, thank you though.” Several neatly folded bills exchanged hands and he proceeded to open my door.

“Have a good evening, Sir, Miss.” Charles nodded in our direction and slipped away.

“Chase, I can’t get out,” I hissed.

“Come here, baby, no one will notice.” He smirked again and pulled me from the car.

“Where are we, anyway?” I swung my bag over my shoulder, bouncing it from front to back trying to decide which area was less offensive. Even more desperately trying not to wonder why this Charles character knew Chase so well. How many other pantiless women had he brought here before? Ugh.

“My apartment building.” The enormous square structure looked like something out of the Victorian Renaissance era. The brick and sandstone walls decorated with ornate steel balconies and elaborate moldings were stunning. It was a little on the darker side. But the sight of its classic tall beauty took my breath away. Much like the man beside me. “Let’s go inside.” He pinned me close to his side, wrapping his arm low on my waist.

“You covering me up?” I looked up into his eyes peering down at me from under his shades.

“I told you. I don’t share.”

My smile widened and the flush hit my cheeks.

“Good Afternoon, Dr. Colton, Miss.” We were greeted by a second white-gloved gentleman. First a doorman, second a concierge. A couple episodes of the Housewives were worth keeping in the loop to be refreshed on these unfamiliar high society ways. I put my giant bag in front of me and silently prayed my ass was covered enough by Chase’s arm. I cursed the designer who thought pale yellow, short dress and sun should ever be in the same sentence.

The elevator ride to the tenth floor was quiet. We nodded politely as other tenants entered and exited, Chase’s eyes only leaving mine for brief cordial sentiments. His stare was heated. The elevator opened to a wide gothic passage leading directly to a massive arched mahogany door. He gently led me forward. My jaw, not so subtly, dropped. Not even two steps through the door and the expansive view of Central Park was spectacular. The unobstructed light shining through the eight enormous windows lining the living room was awe-inspiring.

“Oh Chase, your view, your apartment, it’s ... beautiful.” I smiled coyly.

“Glad you like it.” He draped his arm over my shoulders and kissed my cheek. “Go take a look around, gotta make a quick call to check in at the hospital.”

The towering ceilings and intricate dark wood moldings carried through every room. One as beautiful as the next. The dining room and kitchen looked out on the gabled roofs of the interior courtyard. A gorgeous fountain was surrounded by symmetric circular gardens spanning across intricately placed stone walkways. The detail was fascinating.

I wandered into his bedroom. The steel grey walls framed a massive antiqued black four-poster bed, blanketed with stark white linens. Overall the room was dark and simply decorated. No personal effects, no frames or photos or family mementos. Nothing revealed the mystery behind the man. But his appreciation for light and color was conspicuous, bringing warmth and coziness. The floor-to-ceiling French doors, defined by deep turquoise silk draperies, led to a terrace full of clean-edged planters overflowing with unique tropical flowers. Aired on two sides, almost every room brought in the outdoor landscape.

“I promise you we will spend quality time in here.” His voice startled me. “I wanna see how you look on my bed.” He sat on the edge of the massive bed and pulled me between his legs. “Did I mention I really like you pantiless?” He gripped my ass and brought me closer, burying his head between my breasts. “And braless,” he mumbled into my cleavage.

“Mmm.” My head tilted back, as the first of my thin spaghetti straps fell from my shoulder. The ridge of his erection pushed into my thigh, I swallowed. My nipples tightened as he drew my breast up into his very experienced mouth.

“Oh, oh,” I gasped. I squeezed my legs together to help relieve the deep ache already forming, or that never really left.

“You love that, huh, baby? I love to make you squirm.”

My dress slid to the floor to pool around my heels as he sat back to feast on my body. The heated stare from the elevator returned and his eyes darkened to match his walls. I was hyper aware of my body and the broad daylight should have made me self-conscious. But it didn’t. Every part of me was taut with excitement and anticipation. I was in his room, his space, completely under his control. A control so different from what I remembered.

“Keep your shoes on,” he commanded. I felt sexy as hell.

Flashing back to the night we met, I teased, “Thought you hated
these
shoes.”

“Unless I can do this.” His hand slid up my thigh and brushed my sex. “Pure torture, baby.” He stopped and pressed a wet kiss below my navel. “You.” Kiss. “These shoes.” Kiss. “Longest. Fucking. Rounds. Ever.”

I bit my lip as my flesh trembled. He remembered.

Suddenly I was flushed, and the heat radiated from my sex through my body. I panted, “Mmm. Good, no more ballet flats.”

“You wear heels like this, just know ... I’m going to fuck you.
Wherever
,
whenever,
” he growled.

I whimpered under a stare so intense I wanted to wiggle. “Touch me, Chase, please.”

“Ride me, baby ... I want to watch you, watch your body on top of mine.”

Those words gave
me
control. I hesitated. I was nervous. I wanted him so bad, but this entered uncharted territory. Selfish fuck-face never let me take control—
why bother you don’t get off anyway
. Always under him, I stared into empty eyes as he greedily sucked pleasure from me. Shit. I didn’t want Chase to relinquish his power; it was all I knew. I wasn’t ready. Years of someone controlling every sexual encounter haunted me. I stood frozen, caught in a familiar place of torment.

“Blue?” His tone was concerned. “Look at me, Lili.” Raw and exposed, I looked back into his eyes. “I want
you,
baby, only you. Give me you.”

I wanted to do this. I needed to give him me. When he controlled I enjoyed the ride, aroused and wanton, but me controlling was foreign. A place I had never been willingly. My hands trembled. I undid his belt buckle and drew his zipper down, palming his thick length. He was so hard. He shimmied his pants down and flashed a devilish grin, a reminder. Obviously, he was intent on following through with his double-digit nonsense. My boldness from the night before cowered in the corner. I hesitantly rubbed his length and thickness.

“Chase...” I saw the need in his eyes, but the uncertainty of my actions was paralyzing.

“Baby, that feels so good.” He read the thoughts stewing in my mind. He wanted me to touch him. “Come up here, I need your mouth on mine.” He sensed my apprehension. At his request, I dragged my hands under his shirt along his rigid chest, relishing in the feel of his pebbled nipples to connect our mouths. My touch was his arousal.
Wow.

In one swift motion, his shirt broke our kiss and floated to the floor. I leaned down to press a kiss to his bare stomach. He moaned, deep and throaty. My trepidation slowly diminished. He grabbed a handful of my hair and slid me back up his body. I rubbed my wet and quivery sex along his smooth shaft.

“Oh baby, you’re soaked.” His lids lowered halfway down with erotic need. My sex throbbed unbearably. It was hard to fathom I did this to him.

He circled and rolled my nipples in a slow, sensual rhythm until the tiny pearls tightened to an almost painful level.

“I need you inside me,” I moaned.

“Top drawer, baby, a condom.” I grabbed the packet and went to hand it to him. “You do it, touch me.” My tremor returned. I ripped the foil and stroked his shaft, rolling it in place. “Sink into me.” We groaned in unison when I plunged down on top of him. His warm mouth wrapped around my breast and tugged my nipple. I clenched around his cock and sunk deeper until I felt
it
. The tip of his erection stroked my perfect spot. I rubbed him over and over that spot, slowly at first. My breath turned erratic, and I increased the pace. The overwhelmingly delicious sensation started in my toes, my thighs, my breasts, my pulsing sex, until it completely overtook my body.

“Give it to me, baby.” He tightened his hold on my hips and forcefully bucked, sending me into complete ecstasy. “That’s it. Ride me,” he growled louder.

“Oh god.” I came with a wild cry. My hips frantically pulsed and bucked. Before I came down from my high, he rolled on top of me. Goosebumps rose across my skin when his warm breath bathed my neck.