Behind His Lens (8 page)

After a calming breath, I stand and straighten my sweater. The world spins slightly from the quick change in position, but I reach out to grab the back of my chair before anyone notices.

“Ready?” I ask with a friendly smile.

“Here. I’ll get this round.” Jude pulls out his wallet even though Tom protests.

Jude doesn’t pay attention to him; he pulls out cash and looks directly at me. “I insist.”

Something
about him uttering that phrase while his eyes are locked on mine makes my insides tingle with need. I don’t know how long I stand there like that, staring down at him with soft focus, but eventually Tom clears his throat and I laugh. I laugh because there’s nothing else to do. This situation is completely out of my comfort zone and I need more alcohol. Stat.

“How sweet of you, Jude,” I say slowly, reaching for the cash. I know it wasn’t necessary to say his name, but I wanted to know what it felt like. And as I turn on my heel
to head for the bar, I know I made the right decision. The lust that washed over his blue eyes confessed exactly how erotic it was to hear his name on my lips.

…

Jude

I reach down and adjust myself beneath my pants. That freaking woman will be the death of me. Just when I had her figured out, she showed up tipsy and completely threw me off. I watch her walking away and I’m reminded of how drop-dead gorgeous she is. She has that sexy, fuck-me hair that tumbles down her back in loose, natural waves. And her top. That hint of skin is a complete tease, making it so I can’t help but want to rip off the rest of the material.

She knew what she was doing when she said my name like that and just as she intended, my dick hardened as if her sweet, little hand was wrapped around it.

“What’s up, man?” I hear Josh say behind me as his hand pats my shoulder. My body immediately stiffens as though he could feel how worked up I am. He and two other guys from our soccer team slide around the table and fill in the remaining seats.

“Hey guys.” I tip my beer bottle toward them in greeting before taking a swig. A hint of Charley’s lip gloss stuck to the rim and I can’t help but want to lick it off.
Vanilla
. My new favorite flavor.

“Is Tom here already?” Josh asks, forcing my focus back to the present.

“Yeah, he and Charley went to grab a drink.”

“Smart man,” he chuckles
before glancing over at Naomi and Bennett. They’ve had their heads tucked together since she and Charley arrived. I’ve never seen Bennett like this with any girl. Hell, a couple of nights ago we were in the club picking up women and now look at him. The boy’s in love and it looks like I might be losing my wingman.

“Are you excited about that photo shoot in Hawaii you’ve got coming up?” Josh asks, leaning back in his chair and getting comfortable.

I nod. “It’ll be work, but the days should wrap up pretty early and then I’ll have time to explore the island.”

“That sounds awesome, man. Too bad you don’t date models or that’d be the best weekend ever.”

Too bad.

I shrug off his statement and take another swig of beer.
In the past, my rule was in place to keep my professional integrity intact. I don’t want to walk onto a set and have to worry about the model being pissy about the fact that I never bothered to call her back. Don’t fucking shit where you eat. It’s always been simple… until now.

A familiar giggle fills my ears and I tilt my head slightly to watch Charley break through the crowd. Tom has his hand on the small of her back, leading her to the table
, and I have to physically push past the urge to break his fingers. I try to remind myself, for the last time, that I don’t give a fuck as I take a gulp of my domestic.

I don’t know what they’ve done in the past five minutes
, but she somehow looks even more tipsy and neither one of them has a drink their hands.

“Hi everyone!”
she sings as her gaze falls over Josh and the guys. They all sit up a little straighter as she nears and mutter awkward hellos. For a moment, their schoolboy reactions make me think that maybe I don’t even feel anything for her; maybe this is the effect she has on every man. I let that thought settle in for a minute, and although the idea of going back to my old life sounds compelling, I know I’m wrong. She’s gorgeous, yes, but there’s something about her — her softness, her hidden complexities, her humble nature— that has woven its way around my mind, threatening to undo me. I want to know everything about her. I want to know what she’s hiding behind those captivating, blue eyes.

Fuck.

I watch her slide into the chair next to me less gracefully than she had a few minutes ago, and I can almost taste the tequila in the air.

“Did you guys take shots at the bar?” I ask, annoyed at the edge in my voice.

She looks up at me with her innocent, doe eyes.

“She made me, Jude!” Tom laughs behind me. I want to kill him.

Charley giggles with him and gently sways in her chair. I can’t imagine how a girl her size could force anyone to do anything. Not to mention, he should have noticed how drunk she was already.

“I’m curious. How did she force you?” I’m asking Tom, but my gaze never leaves Charley.

She bites her lip and angles her eyes at me accusingly, “I can be
very
persuasive.”

The rest of the guys laugh off her comment and start talking about some football game scheduled for
the next day, but I can’t turn away from her. She’s bewitched me and there’s no hope of breaking the spell.

Her eyes fleet quickly around the table and by the time they flash back to me I can see the concern written across them. She leans in closely and folds her hands over her stomach.

“I don’t feel so good.”

Of course you don’t, I want to say, but I bite my tongue.

“Did you eat dinner?” I ask softly, surprised at how quickly my anger turned to concern.

She mashes her lips
together and shakes her head.

“Charley, you can’t drink like this and not eat dinner before,” I chide, but the moment I get the words out I instantly regret them. A
ll of a sudden she looks so young and innocent. I want to make her feel better. I don’t care if she is naive, she doesn’t deserve to be sick.

I wrap my arm around the back of her chair and lean in. “Do you want to go home?” I ask, watching her eyes grow wide in shock, and I can’t help but chuckle.

“Not with me… Do you want me to take you to your home and then I’ll go back to mine?” I clarify, but I’m not sure if I’m trying to convince her or myself. I won’t want to leave her if she’s sick.

“Um…”
she hums, glancing across the table toward Naomi. I follow her gaze to find her friend in the middle of a heated make out session with Bennett. He has Naomi practically pinned to the chair as she drags her hands through his once perfectly gelled hair. Jeez, that escalated quickly.

“I could probably just go home by myself,”
Charley says, nodding once and then twice as if she’s trying to convince herself that’s what she should do.

“I can’t let you do that
, Charley.”

I can’t add her life to my guilty conscious. There’s no more room.

“No, really, Jude. I don’t want to inconvenience you,” she adds, already standing and looking around at the group.

“I’m gonna head home,” she announces to the table. “I have to, uh, wake up early in the morning. Naomi, I’ll text you tomorrow,”
she offers with a weak smile. Tom begins to stand and I shoot him a death stare. He is not going to take her home. I should have stepped up this morning and told the guys she was off limits, but I’m not going to make the same mistake again.

Tom
stands frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do.

“I’ve got her.” My tone couldn’t be clearer. I’m not going to fight Tom about this. He needs to back down. “I’ll see you guys next week.”

By the time I’m moving after her, Charley’s already halfway through the bar and I have to jog to catch up. When I slide beside her, she glances up at me with a timid smile.

“How can you move so quickly?” I murmur, wrapping my hand around her waist. The touch is too intimate, but it makes me feel like I’ve got a real hold on her. I don’t want her to trip and fall in those boots. Surprisingly, she doesn’t move away. Instead, she pushes back into me, giving me her weight and press
ing her soft curves against me.

My arm practically engulfs her petite frame
and I exhale thinking of what could have happened if she’d left by herself. Does she usually walk around at night alone? Surely Naomi sticks with her most of the time.

I hear her hum into my chest and I glance down. “I’m glad you’re coming with me
,” she offers, and then looks down at the floor as if embarrassed that she’s told me the truth.

I gently lift her chin, just like I wanted to do at the photo shoot
. “Are you sure you don’t want Tom to take you home?” I ask because I’m genuinely curious of what her reaction will be. Jealousy is a new feeling for me and I’m beginning to realize just how possessive I feel of this angel.

She chews on her lip but doesn’t meet my eyes. Instead, her gentle gaze is focused on my stu
bble as she nods slowly.

“Say it
, Charley.”

Her lips part gently and she breathes in a slow inhale.

“I want you to take me.”

CHAPTER SIX

Jude

Charley’s last semblance of sobriety dissipated during the cab ride home. The shots she took at the bar sank in, adding to the alcohol already coursing through her system. I am not this guy. I don't sleep with drunk women; therefore I don’t take care of drunk women. Yet, here I sit, cradling Charley against me and praying she won’t be sick before we get to her apartment.

“How many shots did you and
Tom take?”

“Two.” She puckers her lips and drags out the “ew” sound.

“But I took a few shots before leaving home,” she clarifies, rolling her head toward the window. I’ve got a good hold on her, but I’m pretty sure if I let her go she’d slide right on down to the floor of the taxi.

“Do you normally drink that much?” I ask gently. I won’t judge her for it, but it concerns me that she didn’t think to eat more before she started.

“Never,” she whispers, and it’s impossible to ignore the sadness suddenly clouding her blue eyes. She looks hopelessly lost in that moment.

I squeeze her shoulder reassuringly, uncertain of where her mind is starting to wander. She’s watching the New York landsc
ape flash by through the window. It’s a few minutes later when she finally murmurs, “My mom drank a lot.”

Her confession catches me off guard. She looks too polished to come from a rotten past. The taxi pulls up to a stop sign and Charley watches a family taking their dog on a late night walk. What was her family like?

“I’d come home from school and usually she’d already have started on her second bottle of wine for the night. I know because she used to let me play with the corks,” she laughs sadly.

Her words are hazy as though they’re
spilling from her mind like a daydream. Does she know she’s speaking out loud? She doesn’t look at me as she talks, and I don’t interrupt her. I want to know why there’s so much sadness in those eyes.

“She wasn’t like an alcoholic-alcoholic,” she laughs, but it doesn’t sound carefree. It sounds pained and hollow
, so I pull her closer to me, trying to shield the sad memories.

“She functioned perfectly fine and had
everybody in her social group fooled. She was poised and polished around them, but around me she turned into a nasty drunk. She’d say the meanest things to me while I was growing up. Drunk minds speak sober thoughts, right?” She pauses for a beat. “God, I hate her.”

The city lights illuminate the sudden paleness of her features as a tear slides down her delicate cheek. I reach out to swipe it away, for once not caring about the consequences of my actions. Tomorrow I’ll go back to being the old Jude, but right now I just want to be there for her.

“I’m sorry, Charley,” I whisper in her ear, watching the goose bumps bloom down her neck.

My words break through her daydream though, and she suddenly tries to scoot
away. “Why am I telling you this?” She shakes away her thoughts and then leans her head back against the seat. The moment is gone and I can already feel her reserve building against the world once again.

She
isn’t opening up to me; she is letting drunken memories slip out to blend with the hazy night air.

“Jude, I feel sick,” she
groans, squinting her eyes closed in pain.

“I know,” I soothe. “We’ll be home soon.” I keep running my fingers through the silky strands
of her hair as silence fills the confined space of the taxi.