Being True (24 page)

She took the phone from my hand and placed it back on the receiver.

“Why’d you do that? I’m trying to call Javi.”

She nodded to the door behind me. Javi stood in the living room. He ran his fingers through his dark hair and smiled. “Hey, Tru.”

Tears blurred my vision as I ran straight into his arms.

J
AVI
AND
I sat on the couch, our arms wrapped around each other, while Claudia beamed at us from the floor. “God, you two make me ill,” she said.

“I guess we don’t have to tell you about us now, huh?” Javi asked after he kissed my forehead.

She shrugged. “Nobody has to tell me shit. I usually figure stuff out on my own, and I’d pretty much had this pegged for a while now.” She held her chin high in praise of her deductive skills. “The two of you aren’t as sneaky as you think you are.”

“No shit,” Javi replied. He gazed down at me and said, “I’m sorry for leaving you standing there with Rance and for not waiting for you after school. I needed time to get my head on straight, and I couldn’t do that around you. Being with you makes my world spin. But in a good way.”

Claudia pretended to gag while I craned my head up to taste his lips. “I understand. I feel the same way.”

“If the two of you are going to continue this mushy crap, please let me know so I can slit my throat now.”

“Will you stop that?” I asked Claudia. “We’re trying to have a moment here.”

“And I’m trying to keep my lunch down here.”

“All right, you two,” Javi said. “I’ve already reached my quota for breaking up fights today.”

Both Claudia and I gave him raspberries.

“So what are you two going to do?” she asked. She was right. The time for being silly was over. We needed a plan. “The whole school is wondering about the nature of your relationship.”

“It’s none of their business,” Javi said.

She agreed. “But that’s not going to stop the rumors, Javi. As long as you and Tru are doing whatever it is you’re doing, people are gonna talk.”

“Well, let them,” he said. Anger once again brewed in his tone. “I don’t give a flying fuck what people think. Or what Oscar Meyer-I-Have-A-Small-Weiner says I have to do. He doesn’t own me. I own me.”

“You’re right again,” she said. “But that doesn’t exactly address the issue at hand.”

“What issue is that, Claudia? Whether or not I’m a fag?”

If she had been a cat, she would have hissed. More than anyone else, she hated that word.

“That’s not quite what she means,” I said. “We have to decide whether we’re ready to out ourselves as a couple. To tell people you and I are dating and let the chips fall where they may. Because if we’re not, then we’ve got to figure out a way to throw people off our scent. Like, I don’t know… get girlfriends or something.”

“Don’t look at me,” she said. “I’m nobody’s beard.”

I smirked at her. “That’s okay. I picture myself with someone with hairier legs.”

“Hey, I’ve got hairy legs,” Javi said with a big smile.

“Then you’re perfect,” I replied with a kiss.

“Well, that goes without saying,” Javi added with an eyebrow wiggle.

“Can we please deal with the crisis at hand?” she asked in complete exasperation.

“You’re right,” I told her. “So, what do you want to do?”

Javi switched his gaze between Claudia and me. “Why are you both looking at me?”

“Because it’s your decision, dumbass,” Claudia said. “You’ve got the most to lose here.”

When Javi rested his eyes on mine, I nodded. “She’s right, and you know it.”

“That’s a lot of pressure,” Javi said before gazing deep into my eyes. The conflict that raged within tore through him like a hurricane ravaged the coastline. The previously still waters of his life churned vigorously and threatened to capsize him. Javi held on to my hands as if he were drowning and looking for the life preserver my words could throw his way. “What do you want to do?”

“I can’t make the decision for you, Javi,” I replied. “I’ll just follow your lead.”

“I understand that,” he said. “But if it was your decision, what would you do?”

I tore my gaze from his and glanced over at Claudia, who nodded. She had guessed what my answer would be, and her silent approval told me it was okay to speak my mind. “I’ve always just been me,” I said. “I really don’t know how else to be.”

“So just be true to who I am and who we are together?” he asked. “Is it really that easy?”

“Don’t fool yourself,” she advised. “This is going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. People are not going to like it. And they’ll react pretty crappy to it. Being true to yourself is never easy. It’s always easier to pretend and cover up who we really are to avoid people rejecting us. But if this is what you want to do, you’ll have my full support. I’ll be there for both of you no matter what you decide.”

He exhaled. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths to calm his ragged breathing. When he opened them again, he stared first at Claudia and then at me. “Let’s do it. Let’s be true.”

I almost fell over. Could this really be happening? Was Javi about to fling the door to his closet wide open and declare he was gay and dating the new kid? “Are you sure this is what you want? Because I’d completely understand if it wasn’t.”

“Tru’s right,” Claudia added. “There’s no take-backs once you do it.”

“I know,” he said with a firm nod. “But like my dad says, a real man isn’t forced into doing anything he doesn’t want to do. And a real man doesn’t lie to himself or to anyone else.”

How could I argue with that?

He took my hand in his and turned to face me. “But if we’re gonna do this, there’s something we need to clear up.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m not going to walk through hell with you as only someone I care about. Going through something like this together means more than just making out. It means we’re boyfriends, so what do you say, Tru? Will you be my boyfriend?”

“Of course,” I leaped into his arms and onto his lips.

“Then, it’s settled,” Claudia said as she grinned at us. “But before you come out to the school, I think you need to first come out to your parents.”

Holy shit! I’d completely forgotten about the Castillos, and my mother had no clue Javi and I were dating. When I turned to him, his wide-eyed panic told me he hadn’t thought about any of that either.

Chapter 10

“I
STILL
can’t believe you called me out of work for this,” my mother said through gritted teeth as we walked over to Javi’s house for dinner.

After talking everything over earlier, we’d decided getting our parents together for the big reveal had to happen tonight, before the shit hit the fan tomorrow. That meant calling my mom at work and getting her off the IHOP shift that wouldn’t end until midnight. The only way to do that was to convince her I needed her, and it couldn’t wait until the morning.

Naturally, when she’d zoomed home as fast as public transportation could carry her, she hadn’t been pleased to learn she’d lost out on a shift’s worth of tips to have dinner with the Castillos.

“You’ve been saying you wanted to meet Javi’s parents for the past few months,” I explained as I tried to keep up with her swift pace. It was more than just the cold of the final throes of south Texas winter that quickened her steps. When my mother was angry, she power walked.

“I know that, Tru, but we couldn’t afford to lose the money I would’ve made tonight. You know how in debt we are because of Bart. Your father’s social security benefits barely keep up with the monthly payments I have to make to pay off what that bastard still owes.”

“But you’re going to get that full-time job real soon,” I reminded her. One of the full-time employees at Dr. Torres’ office had just submitted her two-week notice, and Mom was a shoe-in as her replacement.

“Never count your unhatched chickens,” she said. That had been one of grandpa’s favorite sayings.

I nodded. “I realize that, but it’s important for you to meet them.”

She stopped before we stepped onto the sidewalk that would deposit us at the Castillo’s front door. “Why is it so important for me to meet them today?” she asked. Her hands were on her hips as she studied my face. She’d been too angry earlier to contemplate the reasoning behind the dinner. Either that anger had started to fade, or she’d just realized she had never received a good explanation.

“It’s just time,” I said. “Don’t you think so?”

“I’m not buying it, Tru,” she said. She continued to scan my face. “Something’s up. I can see that now. What is it?”

I started down the walk and gestured for her to follow me. “Come on, Mom. We’re gonna be late, and it’s cold.”

She shook her head as a chilly breeze whipped around her, sending her brown hair flying in front of her eyes. After brushing the strands away, she said, “I’m not moving one step more until you tell me what I’m walking into.”

I sighed as I traversed back up the walk toward her. I shoved my hands inside my new-to-me brown coat. “Please, Mom,” I said. “Let’s just go inside.”

“If you’re not going to tell me, then I’m going home.” She turned around and started back the way we’d come.

I trotted after her, my hands still safely tucked inside my coat as the biting wind nipped at my nose. “Mom, please stop.” She continued on as if I hadn’t spoken. “Will you please just trust me? This is important.” Still, she walked on. She was just like me, true to her word. If she said she was going to do something, she did it. “Fine. I’ll tell you.”

She proceeded a few more steps before stopping. When she turned around, she stood there in silence, waiting for me to speak.

“Javi’s gay,” I said. The news hadn’t surprised her. She waited for the rest. “And he and I have been dating for the past few months.”

Now this was news to her. Her eyes grew wide, and she opened her mouth to speak. Her voice, however, refused to cooperate.

“I’m sorry I haven’t told you,” I said as I walked up to her. “But it was so new, and Javi just realized how he felt about me. We figured, well, I figured if we talked about it before we knew what was going on, it might…. I don’t know. Jinx things or overcomplicate matters. So, yes, we kept it a secret, and yes, I hid it from you, but that’s kind of what tonight is going to be about. Telling our parents.”

“Do Javi’s parents not suspect their son is gay?” she asked as she switched her gaze from me to the Castillo house with its brown paint and white shutters.

“No,” I said with a shake of my head.

“So I guess I’m here for moral support, then? To tell them it’s okay to have a gay son and to love him no matter what?”

I couldn’t stop smiling. I had the best mom ever. “That’s right.” I took my hand out of my warm pocket and reached for hers.

She gripped it tightly. “I know you probably promised Javi not to tell me until you both made the announcement at dinner, but it’s better this way. Instead of being taken by surprise and reacting along with everyone else, I can be calm and rational. That’s what everyone’s going to need.”

She was right. Of course, I wasn’t exactly telling her the full truth, and she was still going to be taken aback. That couldn’t be helped. I had to wait until I was with Javi. My mom would likely not take the news of our going public well after everything I’d already gone through. Likely, neither would Javi’s parents, who’d get hit with a one-two punch tonight. To withstand a double-cannon parental-assault of concern and fear with a possible angry kickback, Javi and I had to stand together.

“So, your first boyfriend, huh?” she asked as we stepped onto the front porch. “How’s it feel?”

“Like flying,” I said before knocking on the front door.

M
RS
. C
ASTILLO
made us all sit down around the small kitchen table while she prepared the beef enchiladas, refried beans, and Spanish rice. The spicy scent that filled the kitchen usually made me ravenous, but I was so nervous that for the first time I
could
wait to dig in.

“I wish you’d let me help you, Maricela,” my mother said. She was not accustomed to being waited on.

“You sit,” Mrs. Castillo said while plating the food. Her thick accent had come to sound like home to me. “You serve people most every day of the week. Let someone bring the food to you for a change.”

“That’s very kind of you,” my mom said. “Thank you.”

Mrs. Castillo smiled at her from the stove before sweeping her gaze to where I sat next to Javi. Over the past few months, a strange look fell across her features whenever she stared at her son and me for an extended period of time. It was an odd combination of affection and fear. It reminded me of how my mother peered at me while she applied peroxide to a fresh cut from a new bully’s fist.

Had her mother’s intuition clued her in?

“It’s so good to finally meet you, Grace,” Mr. Castillo said. The permanent smile Javi’s dad wore had never faded, though. Whenever I came over, his lips broadened in welcome and he’d pat me on the back, asking me how things were going in my life. He was a good man, how I imagined my father would be if he were still alive.