Believe (14 page)

Chapter Thirteen

Lita slid her feet to the floor. She wiggled her toes on the lush blue carpet of their room at home. Home. She smiled. They’d been home for a week. Remembering the bad times in her life, the attempted rape, the fear and loneliness, her failed relationships, the insecurity she felt about sex, especially when confronted with Lorenzo’s past, had almost made her want to close herself off, but their honeymoon, Lorenzo’s romantic gestures, his encompassing love, had opened her.

She was grateful for so much, even this room, where she and Lorenzo had made love every night, christening the bed, the sofa chairs, the shower in their new bathroom, the huge closet, and the spot in front of the fireplace, with their love. Yet, almost every night, Lorenzo was late from work, even though he’d said he wouldn’t be. He did like to work. Now they were home, he probably felt compelled to get back to his routines.

Except, every time Lorenzo was late, Lita recalled Lee’s words, about the designers and other women Lorenzo tried to hire. She’d thought so much about it…She’d searched the web and found year-old articles from the society section of the paper about Lorenzo and some of the women Lee must’ve been talking about. Beautiful blondes, accomplished in their professions, modern and sophisticated. Lita flopped back on the bed. Lorenzo loved her. Twisting her rings, she rose and walked to the bathroom.

***

That afternoon, Lita and Lorenzo said goodbye to Uncle Enzo. He was leaving early for Vincente and Gina’s wedding. Celeste was already there, helping Gina.

“We better get ready,” Lita said. “We don’t want to miss the wedding.”

Lorenzo followed Lita upstairs, grabbing her from behind as they reached the top. She shrieked but laughed as she broke away and ran into their room. She fell onto the bed and Lorenzo jumped on her, but not really because he never put his full weight on her. He chuckled when she smiled at him.

“Caught me again, you devil,” she said.

“You angels get bored and cold up there. Let me warm you up,” he said with an arch expression.

“Nope,” she said.

She quivered with anticipation. He raised an eyebrow and she laughed again. He went in for the mock attack, nipping her earlobes and poking her gently in her sides. His hands entered into the fray and she countered with a few moves of her own. They rolled around the bed, kissing and laughing, sometimes crying out when one found a favorite vulnerable spot. Lita boiled with excitement, popping with heat and the fun of the game. Lorenzo pinned her and she nipped his ear. In a moment, he stripped.

“Sexy man,” she whispered.

“Hmm,” he growled.

He raised her skirt and threw her panties aside. Caressing her thighs, he lifted them, pushing gently before he gave her what she wanted. Lita gripped the sheets as he thwacked into her. She flushed, hot from the little bit of rough he gave. She murmured her appreciation. Lorenzo grunted a satisfied expletive and released her. She sat up and hugged him. He always held her after. He kissed her.

“It’s late. We better go,” he said.

“Okay.” She liked him to hold her afterwards, just for a few minutes, especially when he pounded into her like that. But she didn’t ask. She didn’t want to sound needy.

She followed him into the bathroom. She studied him covertly after they cleaned up and began dressing. He wouldn’t look at her. She bit her lip as she smoothed her skirt. Maybe she’d done something wrong. Her mind played through the day. It had been a calm day, nothing out of the ordinary until now.

“Ready?” he said as he grabbed his wallet off the dresser.

She nodded and he took her arm as they walked downstairs. The empty walls along the stairwell made Lita hug her stomach. Uncle Enzo had cleared the space so they could fill it with pictures of their children, hers and Lorenzo’s.

“How many children do you want to have?”

Lorenzo stopped on the bottom step. Lita stayed on the one above him, so she could look at him on his level. “I don’t know. We’re waiting. There’ll be plenty of time to figure it out later. You said you didn’t want to be late.” He grasped her hand and turned away.

“I like to talk about it. When you don’t, I feel like you’re not really happy about it.”

He pushed out a breath. “We just got back from our honeymoon. I have dreams, Lita.”

“Then share them with me.” He had, when he’d been in high school and college. Told her about how he and Lee would start an architecture firm together, how he’d live in a house like this one, how he’d travel Europe and take road trips around California. Not once had he mentioned marriage or children.

“Do you want to be late for the wedding?”

“No.”

“Then we’ll talk another time.”

He said that and then they didn’t. She glanced at the grandfather clock. They did need to go. She followed him out.

***

Lita clasped Lorenzo’s arm as they made their way into the church. The vast space was almost empty, only the first few pews filled with family and friends. They walked down the aisle and sat next to Uncle Enzo. Lita inhaled. The lingering scent of incense and flowers tickled her nose. She crossed her legs.

Vincente fiddled with his tie as he waited for Gina to appear. Lita smiled briefly, happy for Vincente and Gina. Yet, she’d always imagined her own church wedding. Vincente and Gina had gotten special permission to marry without the usual waiting period. She bit the inside of her cheek. No more regrets. Not about her wedding. Nothing should taint her marriage to Lorenzo.

The music began and they all stood. Gina appeared, on her father’s arm. As usual, she epitomized classy-sexy, something Lita aspired to, but felt unable to attain. Gina’s off-white, sleeveless dress hugged all her curves, the cut, the fabric, the color enhancing her beauty. She carried a bouquet of red roses, and wore one in her hair, up loosely in beachy waves.

Lita looked at Lorenzo. He stared at Gina. Lita shifted her feet. Everyone was staring at Gina, as well they should. She was the bride, and a beautiful one, glowing with happiness. Lita focused on her breathing and said a silent prayer, forgiving herself for her envious thoughts and asking for help to get past her insecurity. She was herself, not Gina. And Lorenzo loved her the way she was.

“Please be seated,” Father Grihalva said.

Lita sat and leaned into Lorenzo. She was with her husband, in their church, watching their friends get married. Their lives were as beautiful and radiant as Gina.

***

A couple of hours later, they walked outside to join the others at Grandpop’s for the reception. The sun shone low in the sky, giving the bay a shimmering sheen. People already sat at the round tables grouped under an open tent on the wide expanse of lawn while the food loaded two long rectangular tables. Lanterns illuminated the tables, making the red rose centerpieces, china, silverware, and crystal sparkle. They greeted most of the guests and were introduced to the few they hadn’t met. Most were already filling their plates with food, so Lorenzo led her to the line.

Lorenzo picked up a plate and placed some grilled chicken, green salad, soft breadsticks, and fruit on it.
Lorenzo waited, his plate full. Lita quickly grabbed a plate and tossed some food on it. She didn’t care what she ate. She wanted to talk to Lorenzo.

Lita followed Lorenzo to the table where Sophia and Carlo, Joey, Pete, and Gianni sat. Lita had already seen them at dinner the night before, but she settled in, always enjoying their company. Lita sat between Lorenzo and Gianni. Lorenzo, Joey, and Pete soon talked sports—baseball from the little Lita heard—while Sophia and Carlo spoke about their vacation plans.

Lita wondered why she wasn’t talking—usually she rambled on when in the company of her family and friends. She tried to concentrate on her meal, which was delicious. Much as she loved her family, she wanted to finish hers and Lorenzo’s discussion from earlier.

A murmuring breeze sent a shiver over Lita as she went toward the house after dessert. Everyone sprawled out on blankets or settled on chairs and benches, some with their feet up on ottomans with throws for warmth against the chilly snap in the air. Others danced to low music on the small dance floor that had been constructed over the lawn for the night. Listening to the pleasant buzz of laughter and conversation below her, she gazed out at the bay shimmering with the lights of the city and the rising moon.

When she came back out to the terrace, Gianni leaned against the baluster. He stood when he saw her. She smiled and joined him.

“You okay, Lita? You were quiet at dinner.”

Lita laughed. “Do I usually talk so much?”

“You’re cute when you talk. You get that sweet little smile.” Gianni winked. “But, really, something wrong?” Gianni touched her arm.

Lita stared at the distant sunset. “How are things with you?”

“You didn’t answer my question.” He studied her.

“Sure, I’m fine. Thanks.” She hugged him.

“Gianni,” Lorenzo said as he walked up.

Gianni broke their hug and nodded in greeting to Lorenzo. “Guess I’ll leave you two newlyweds.”

“Hey, what’s going on with your building?” Lorenzo asked. He and Lee had put in a bid on some renovations for a new club Gianni was going to open.

Gianni glanced at Lita. She frowned. Why did they have to talk about this now?

Lorenzo continued. “I had a meeting with Tamara, and she has some great ideas for your project.”

Her stomach clenched. That blond bitch who’d approached Lorenzo on the night she’d come home? Lee’s words ran through her mind: “Him meeting with interior designers and consultants he used to have sex with isn’t in the past.” One more thing to talk to Lorenzo about. One more thing he wouldn’t want to talk about. One more complication.

She wanted her marriage to be happy, not troubled. She wanted love to be simple. She wanted to believe in Lorenzo.

“Let’s talk Monday at your office,” Gianni said. “You free at ten?”

Lorenzo nodded. Lita smiled at Gianni and turned to Lorenzo.

“Gina’s getting ready to throw her bouquet,” he said. “You wanted to say goodbye, right?”

“I want to talk to you.”

“I know. Later, kitten.” He took her elbow and led her downstairs to the lawn.

She couldn’t argue with him when he called her “kitten,” and he knew it. Or she believed he knew it. Warmth at his nearness, his touch, his wanting her tangled with her chill over his distance, his not wanting to talk.

They stood with the other married couples while the bachelors gathered first. Gianni, Pete, Nico, Joey, his uncles Max and James and cousin Jim, Marco, Paolo, Michael, and a few other guys stood, trying to look like they didn’t care, except Paolo, who edged forward with Marco. Grandpop strode behind them, as if he was in charge of the ragged group. Gianni whistled as Vincente slid his hand up Gina’s thigh and eased off the blue garter. Grandpop stepped up and squeezed Gianni’s shoulder. He winced.

“Okay, okay, sorry,” Gianni said.

“Here goes, gentlemen,” Vincente said. “And I only mean two of you.”

Chuckles rippled through the crowd. Vincente tossed the garter right to Marco, who caught it and kissed Paolo. Lita cheered and everyone, especially the other guys, clapped. None of them was ready to get married, Lita guessed. Pete especially, who’d just broken up with his fiancée. They all melted into the crowd and they waited for the ladies to step out. Sophia forced Janetta forward.

“Paolo, come on,” Janetta said.

“We got ours.” He laughed.

Lita did too, at Janetta’s scowl. She spotted her friend Becca, who taught second grade. She and Lita had met when Lita started volunteering at the school where Becca worked. “Go on, Becca,” Lita said as Becca tried to sneak past.

Janetta saw her too, ran over, and pulled her out on the floor with her. A couple of other women joined them.

She leaned into Lorenzo as Vincente kissed Gina. With a turn, Gina tossed the bouquet, which Becca caught. Everyone cheered. Sophia eyed Joey; she’d been trying to set those two up.

“Shouldn’t force people to do this stuff,” Lorenzo whispered.

Her brow creased. “It’s tradition. Look, Becca’s smiling.”