Believed (My Misery Muse) (20 page)

Chapter 36

Jules

I had been home a week, and I missed Sam. I was
worried about him.  The daily texts from Seth had done little to relieve that
worry.  I knew Seth was leaving things out trying to protect me, but what he
had told me made me want to go back to him and slap him.  He was spiraling
downward quickly. I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it, but I still
wanted to try.

Instead of focusing on what I couldn’t fix, I
threw myself into working at the tattoo parlor.  My eyes were beginning to
cross from staring at the same numbers hoping they would change but they never
did.  Cris was going to be pissed; there was a lot of merchandise missing.

I took my glasses off and rubbed my eyes. I’d only
been gone a few weeks and the shops records and calendar was a mess.  It was
going to take me a month to repair what they broke in weeks.  There was also a
lost shipment of ink that no one remembers signing for, or where they put it. 
Though I had a signed invoice with Cris’s name on the bottom.  Haven was
missing equipment that I ordered, signed for, and put in her room before I
left.  I didn’t have a clue what was going on, and I really didn’t want to tell
Cris.

“Here, eat,” Devi said dropping a bag in front of
me.

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

“When did you start wearing glasses?” Devi asked
sitting down beside me.

I pulled a sandwich out of the bag and nearly
moaned.  I’d forgotten to eat breakfast this morning, and I don’t think I ate
dinner the night before either.  I unwrapped the sandwich and bit into it
closing my eyes.

“What?” I finally asked after eating half the
sandwich.

Devi shook her head at me. “Glasses?”

“Oh,” I said wiping my mouth with a napkin. “I
wear them when I’m on the computer.  I was getting headaches.”

“Huh, I didn’t know that.”

I shrugged. “Had them for a while now.”

She flicked her finger towards the computer
screen. “Find anything?”

“We’re missing merchandise, and some other items.”

“Fuck,” she groaned, “we don’t need this.”

“I was about to find Cris.”

Devi cringed. “I think I’ll head home.”

“Wuss.”

“I consider it self-preservation.”

“Better scamper.”

Devi stood up. “You coming over tonight?”

“No, I’m going to go home; I want to paint the
kitchen tonight.”

“Max still staying with you?”

“I think he has a date with Emory tonight.”

“I like that girl.”

I smiled. “I do too. She’s good for him.”

“If Max isn’t going to be there, who is?”

“Ash is coming over to help paint.”

Devi nodded. “Good, I don’t like you being alone.”

“I’ve been back for a week and haven’t seen him.”

“I know,” she sighed, “but I still don’t like it.”

“I’m being careful.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

She nodded. “Enjoy your meeting with Cris.”

“Bitch,” I muttered.

She laughed and walked out the door.  I finished
lunch then went to find Cris. It was better to get this over with.  When he was
done yelling, I could head home.

Sam

After three days of meetings with label execs, we
were through with our contract with them.  Which was a relief, I was ready to
start working on our next album.  We did sign contracts with them for
distribution with our new label.  They wanted a more active role, but neither
Seth or I wanted to be under their thumb any longer.  At lunch today things
were finally hashed out and finalized; the press release was going to correspond
with our last tour date.

The best thing about the deal we struck is that we
are leaving with the rights to all the songs we’d written under their banner. 
We can’t re-record any of them for five years, but they’re ours.  I was ready
to go home; this tour couldn’t end soon enough.  My father was rapidly
declining in health, and I was needed at home.  I could feel the pressure
building inside me, between all the meetings, my family, and the tour I felt
like I was being pulled apart.

And I missed Jules, god, did I miss Jules.  When I
slept, I dreamt of purple eyes and soft laughs.  I kept picking up the phone
and calling her just so I could hear her voice.  Only I stopped myself every
time, I didn’t know what to say to her.  I didn’t know how to fix the rift that
was between us, or if I wanted to.

I walked into our house in L.A. with the freshly
minted contracts in hand.  We had our third and final show in L.A., a meeting
with a P.R. firm we are going to use with the new label, and then a meeting
with our lawyers.  After that we were leaving L.A., I had been reminded why I
hated this place.  Everything was fake; I didn’t know how we lived here for
three years without losing ourselves completely.

I followed the voices into the game room and found
X, Eli, and Seth in there playing pool.  I dropped the sheaf of papers down on
the table.

“It’s done, just needs signatures,” I told them.

“What’s it costing us?” X asked picking up the
papers.

“A distribution contract with the new label.”

“How the hell did you work that out?” Seth asked.

I stretched my neck. “We got all the rights to our
songs, only we can’t re-record them for five years.  We can though continue to
play them without any issue.”

“How?” X asked.

“Drake did it,” I said. “Not sure how, but when I
went to lunch they had this drawn up.”

Seth grinned. “I knew we hired him for a reason.”

“Oh, and we got rid of Ian,” I mumbled.

“You got rid of Ian?” X asked perking up.

“Yeah, he’s not joining us for the rest of the
tour.”

“Sweet.”

I shook my head at X’s exuberance.  While I didn’t
like having someone spy on us, I was going to miss the added help.  Drake
though wanted to get to work; we’d just have to do it long distance.

“If you look it over and sign, we can get it
courier to bring it back.”

I left them with the paperwork and headed up to my
room.  I wanted to get out of the suit and into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. 
I tossed everything from my pockets onto the bed and shuffled through my newly
washed clothes.  One of the benefits of having a house on the west coast—a
laundry room.

Just as I was pulling on my T-shirt, my phone
began to ring.  I was looking forward to a day where I could go without it
being attached to my ear.

“Yeah,” I mumbled while I zipped up my jeans.

“Sam?”

“This is him.”

“Hey man, it’s Alex.”

“Was there a problem with your check?”

“No, got it on time like always.”

“Okay,” I said confused, other than his royalty
check from the albums we cut while he was still drummer I didn’t know why he’d
be calling me.

“I have a situation here.”

“Mmhmm.”

“One of my guys went out collecting the other day,
the guy said that his girl was paying his tab.  Only his girl ran away with
some rock band.”

“Uh huh.”

“I was a bit surprised when they guy said it was
My Misery Muse she ran off with. It’s not like you ever allowed groupies to go
on tour.  Thought I’d call and find out what was going on.”

I sighed. “So you’re dealing now?”

“Gotta pay the bills.”

“Who is the guy?”

“His name’s Beau; he’s a real asswipe.  He’s
always going on about how beautiful his girl is, then talks about tracking her
down and shaking her for cash.”

“Jules,” I groaned.

“Yeah, that’s the girl’s name.  Take it you know
her?”

“She’s family, Alex.”

“Fuck, Sam.”

“She works at Pin’s Ink, and is Cris’s foster
sister.”

“He owes a lot, Sam, and not just to me.”

“She’s family.”

“I’ll put that out there, make sure everyone knows
she’s off limits.”

“How much does he owe you?”

“Ten grand.”

I whistled. “Damn, she doesn’t have that kind of
money.  She’s also not his girl, hasn’t been for a while now. He follows her
around and assaults her when he needs funds.”

“Let me think a moment, some of the guys he owes
aren’t going to care that she’s family.”

“Alex,” I growled, “if anything happens to her so
help me.”

“Ah so it’s like that, she’s yours, huh?”

“No,” I said quickly.

“Yeah, she’s yours, and that really changes
things.  Listen you’ve been good to me over the years so I’m going to do
something I never do.”

“What’s that Alex?”

“I’m picking up the guys debts and letting
everyone know he’s on his own now.  He’ll only owe me, and I will collect one
way or another.”

“Thanks, Alex.”

“We’re good now, Sam?”

“Yeah, we’re good.”

“Alright, I need to get to work, I’ll talk to you
soon.”

“Bye Alex.”

“See ya around, man.”

When he hung up, my knees gave out and I landed on
the bed.  This was not good, that prick was out there buying drugs on credit
then using Jules name as the person paying.  I whipped my phone off the bed and
called Cris.  They had better be keeping an eye on her, if anything happened to
her…  I closed my eyes I couldn’t think about that.

Chapter 37

Jules

The meeting with Cris, going through the list of
employees who had access to everything missing, determined that the list
included everyone.  Then sifting through those we know wouldn’t steal the list
was down to seven people.  One of which I didn’t agree with but Cris wouldn’t
see reason.  I don’t care how much he insisted Haven be on that list I didn’t
consider her a suspect.  I’d gotten to know her and there was no way in hell
she would risk losing this job and having to go back home.  Devi agreed with
me, so we just bypassed her name on the list.

The other six were two new artists and the four
counter girls.  I was leaning towards one of the girls who worked the counter. 
I’d spent the last two days working insane hours so I could keep tabs on
everything.  Since I came back though nothing had gone missing, and Cris was
becoming more volatile.

“Have I told you that you’re my hero?” Haven
leaned against the counter where I was working.

“Why?” I asked absentmindedly; I was working on
rescheduling some appointments.

“You got rid of Cris without bloodshed.”

“Eh, he was acting like a prick. I wasn’t going to
have clients near him.”

I held up a finger. “Hi, is this Josh?”

I half listened to the guy on the line while
looking for available dates.

“This is Jules with Pin’s Ink. I’m calling to
reschedule your appointment with Crispin today.  Unfortunately he had to go
home sick. I have a few upcoming dates coming up that he’s available.  Or I can
schedule you with another artist today? It’s your choice.”

I hit the mute button and looked over at Haven.
“Some days I hate my job.” The guy continued to bitch about the inconvenience.

“I understand and I am sorry about this, but it
really couldn’t be helped.  My first open appointment for him is next week.”

I hit mute again. “You been busy today?”

Haven watched me. “No, not really.  How do you do
it?”

I unmuted the guy. “Yes, Josh I do understand that
you waited months for this appointment, but Cris went home with a stomach bug.
I really don’t think you want him tattooing you when he can’t keep the contents
of his stomach intact.”

I hit mute again. “Eh, you get used to it.”

I unmuted again. “Josh, I’ve put you down for next
Tuesday at three p.m. Can’t wait to see you.  Have a great day.”

I hung up the phone, entered the guys info. “Last
one.  I have some appointments for you coming up.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, they’re on your calendar.”

She blinked. “I have a calendar”

“Didn’t they show you how to access your
calendar?”

She shook her head, her white dreads trailing
behind her.

“Of course not,” I mumbled. “Let me see your
phone.”

She handed me her phone and I went to work putting
her schedule on the phone so she’d have access to it.  “I wanted to show you
something if you have time.”

“Yeah, just finished my last piercing for the
day.”

“You mean the nipple guy that was crying?”

“That would be him.”

“He said you tried to sexually assault him,” I
said giggling.

She rolled her eyes. “The ass tried copping a feel
when I was bent over him. I told him if he tried it again, I’d pierce more than
his nipple.”

I looked down at her boobs. “Can’t blame the guy,
I’m jealous.”

She snorted. “Please, you’re skinny.”

“And you have hips, an ass, and great tits, it’s
not fair.  Here, there’s your calendar, just click there and it will pull it
up.  So I’m working on a line of body jewelry, and I wanted your opinion.”

“This is so cool,” she murmured going through her
schedule. “My old shop wasn’t this put together.”

“It makes my life easier.”

“I’d love to look through what you have, have you
thought about selling them in the shop?”

“Yeah, if Cris will let me.”

“You done for the day?”

“I am now. Want to come over to my place so you
can look at them?  I need to make sure they’re safe.”

“I’ll follow you.”

I nodded and walked into the shop. “I’m gone, see
you tomorrow,” I called out to the artists who were working.

“I’ll be there in an hour or so,” Max called.

“I’ll order pizza or something.”

“Works for me,” he said going back to work.

“Let’s go,” I said grabbing my stuff and walking
out the door to my car.

I pulled into the driveway of my new house only to
find Beau sitting out on the porch.  I banged my forehead on the steering wheel
a few times before I opened the car door and climbed out.

“What do you want?”

“I need help, Jules.”

“Yeah, you do.” I stopped in front of him. “So go
get it.”

He shook his head. “I owe a guy a lot of money.”

“I’m broke.”

“You’ve got to have something,” he whined.

“Sorry, I had to take off work after you broke
into the apartment I was staying in.  No work means no paycheck which equals me
having no money.”

“So ask one of your friends, they have money.”

I snorted. “Not going to happen.”

He stood up. “They’ll give it to you.”

“No they won’t; they’ll want to know why I’m
asking to borrow money when I never have before.”

“So lie.”

“I can’t lie. Hell, you know that, they’ll see
right through it.  Plus, I’m not helping you anymore.”

“Jules,” he crooned.

“Not going to work, we’ve been done for a while. 
I never want to see you again, so leave and don’t come back.”

“Jules, who’s your friend?” Haven asked walking up
behind me.

“My ex.”

“Ah.”

“Jules,” Beau growled then he grabbed my arm and
squeezed, “I need that money.”

I pulled my arm, but he squeezed tighter. “I don’t
have any money.”

“Beau,” a male voice called and he looked over my
shoulder then dropped my arm taking a step back.

“Alex, man, what’s up.”

“I thought I warned you about coming near her
again?” The guy, Alex, said.

I looked over at him and nearly fell over. “I
remember you,” I murmured while rubbing my arms.

“Jules, right?”

“Yeah, I met you once.”

He nodded. “Beau won’t be bothering you again,” he
said and two guys walked up.  They grabbed him by the arms and dragged him
towards a car that was parked on the curb.

“Tell Sam I said hi.” I watched as Alex turned and
walked away.

“What the hell was that?” Haven asked looking
stunned.

“I don’t have a fucking clue,” I answered.

Sam

We were on stage in Seattle when one of my effects
pedals went on the fritz.  I stomped on it again and nothing happened. I kicked
it and watched as it sailed across the stage nearly hitting X in the leg.  Seth
and X turned and looked at me with a
what the fuck
look but I just kept
playing.   One of the techs quickly ran on stage and changed out the pedals
then ran back off stage.  I walked back over to my pedals and slammed my foot
down mid solo finally getting the sound I wanted.

When the song ended, I reached down grabbed the
bottle of Jack from behind the stack of speakers and took a drink.  I was going
for numb, it was better when I couldn’t feel.  I staggered back to my spot on
the stage, then began playing the intro to Faith.  I knew I was fucking the
song up but I didn’t care.  I didn’t care about anything—it was safer that way.

The show finally ended and I grabbed my bottle
from where I had it hidden then took off out the back door.  I walked to the
bus and stumbled up the stairs.  I grabbed my Martin acoustic guitar and sat
down on one of the captain chairs.  I had a song that had been playing in my
head for a week, so I started at the beginning humming to myself as I played.

Xavier stomped up the stairs and glared at me.
“What the fuck was that?”

I reached down, nearly falling out of my chair,
and grabbed the lyrics I had written to go with the song.  I thrust the paper
towards Xavier.

“Sam!” X yelled.

“Listen,” I slurred.

 I started at the beginning again watching X read
through the words that had been circling my mind.  Once I was finished, he
nodded and I started it again.  This time X started singing along softly.

“I see an angel up above

Streaking the sky in her wake

The stars shine bright trying to
garner attention

Though she barely blinks in their wake

I watch her sail amongst the sea

Not realizing how she affects me”

I transitioned into the chorus when Seth and Eli
walked up behind X.

“I believe in a world of fairies and
lights

Until she’s gone from my sight

I believe in souls merging as one

Until she breaks the surface of the
sea

I believe in a world of untold lies

Until she says she loves me so

I once believed in everything

But that was before the mist”

“Seth,” X murmured handing over the lyrics.

Seth read them over while I continued to play
nodding his head along. “It needs a violin,” he said to himself, “and a piano.”

“It needs a full orchestra,” Eli said. “An intro
with just an acoustic guitar and Timpani drums.”

“Not a full orchestra, just strings, piano,
Timpani, and us.”

“Can you write it?” X asked.

Seth nodded. “It’ll take some time but yeah, I can
do it.  Maybe a harp?” He added scribbling something on a piece of paper.

“My dad died,” I blurted.

“Shit…”

“Fuck…”

“Damn…”

I laughed hollowly. “Pretty much sums it up.”  I
reached over and snagged my bottle of Jack taking a deep drawl. “Max called a
few hours ago.” I stared at the bottle in my hand. “He fell asleep and didn’t
wake back up.”

I took another drink from the bottle then threw it
against the side of the bus.  “He fucks up my life then just checks out without
having to take any responsibility.” I watched as the contents of the bottle
drained on to the sofa.  “And now I get to go home and fix the mess he
created,” I screamed.  Jumped to my feet and smashed the guitar I was holding
against the floor, over and over until it was matchsticks.  I threw what was
left hitting one of the flat screen TVs.  “He ruined everything,” I cried. “He fucked
me over.  And he gets to die peacefully in his sleep, what kind of cosmic joke
is that?  He dies while the woman he cheated on sat at his bedside taking care
of him.  Cleaning up his puke and drool, all the while he lied to her for
fucking years,” I bellowed.

“I couldn’t do that to her,” I whispered. “God,
how I love her.  Only I couldn’t hurt her that way, but what if I’m just like
him?  I can’t take that chance; I love her too fucking much to take that
chance.”  I turned and looked at the ashen faces of my brothers. “I love her so
much that I know it’s better that she moves on.  I don’t want to die knowing I
used the one person in my life that saw me, for me.  She doesn’t give a fuck
about me being in some band. She doesn’t care about my money—she cares about
me.  I can’t do what my father did to my mother to her.”

I snorted. “I have to call the whore and tell her
the man who she had a bastard son with died.  He died and left her nothing. Now
I’m supposed to take care of her.  I’m supposed to cover up his dirty little
secret.”  I glared at them. “I’m tired of taking care of everybody else.  I’m
fucking tired,” I moaned.

I spun around and punched the side of the bus.
God, that felt good. I reached back and hit it again.  I was about to do it
once more when arms wrapped around me and held me tightly.  I struggled against
the bonds, jerking my elbow back and hitting something.  I heard a groan but
the bonds strengthened, more hands grabbed me dragging me to the floor and
piling on top of me.

I started crying, “I’m so sorry.” I sobbed, “God,
I’m sorry.”

“Sam,” Seth yelled, “calm down, man.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“I know man. I know sometimes shit just piles up
until you can’t take it anymore.  You need to realize we’re here for you.”

“Seth, how do I fix it?”

“Sam, she’s there waiting for you,” he whispered
in my ear. “She’s waiting on you.”