Beyond Control (7 page)

“This sandwich was great,” Brandy replied, grabbing a twenty out of her wallet.

“So were my éclairs. Both of them,” I said chuckling as I dug in my purse for my wallet as we wandered up to the counter to pay our bill.

“I still hope he asks you out,” Brandy said, turning around to tease me and bring the lightness back into our afternoon. “Who knows what the afternoon holds.”

“I’m spoiling you with my famous linguine. You better be home by seven sharp.” Brandy poked her head into my office and flashed me her innocent grin as she stepped fully inside. She knew I wouldn’t be late for a home-cooked meal, especially anything pasta related. Between the éclairs and the pasta, I was going to have to work out doubly hard tomorrow...Although, I think I might have promised myself that yesterday about today too.

“You’ve got my word,” I said, smiling. “Promise.”

“Okay. See ya in a bit.” She tapped the doorframe and spun around, exiting my office.

I pressed my fingertips into my neck, hoping I could massage away the tension that had built up since my brother reappeared. Attempting to distract myself from him and the problems he brought, I scanned the daily sales figures again from yesterday. We had a great week last week, but this week looked like a slow start. Actually, it wasn’t slow… It was dismal. Not all outlets had been reported, but it showed a steep decline in the dairy category. We needed to reverse this before the week ended, or we’d have an overall decline for the week. I couldn’t let that happen, not that I actually had much say in the matter but still.

We were one of the main suppliers of organic dairy products, so it was often easy to be in the lead, but that kind of complacency also lets the little guys muscle their way to the top. I had to figure out what ate up our business. Glancing at the charts, my eyes landed on a colorful pie chart. Relief began spreading as I analyzed the numbers that had been pulled. It wasn’t our performance. Our analyst had included the wrong products by bundling too many of our competitors’ non-dairy sales into their results. Of course that would shift our performance. Feeling immensely better, I placed the report on my desk and turned off my laptop. In the morning, I’d go over what should and should not be included in our sales figures with the team… just a gentle nudge at the importance of accurate data collection. We had several new hires so it was bound to happen at some point.

Leaning back in my chair, I looked up at the ceiling and stared at the crown molding. Was this really what I wanted to do for the next forty years? Stare at market share and figure out ways to sell fancy cheese? Fighting the shudder that wanted to creep up my spine, I shook my head. It would bring me a nice, stable life. Or at least it was supposed to provide that, and I had decided that’s what I had wanted. Right?

A few days ago, everything had been exactly how I wanted it—how I planned it. I graduated with a major in business and was working at a leading gourmet food corporation. Granted, my father owned it, but it still counted. I had a great life and didn’t want for anything. I had everything under control—my control—and now I was starting to feel a slight shift in my universe and wasn’t sure I liked the unsettled feelings that kept popping up. Like why couldn’t I get Jason out of my head? I had never let a guy invade my thoughts like that, especially one with a probable girlfriend and who was ‘content’ with his dating life. God, why did I have to open my big fat mouth?

I let out a sigh and pushed myself away from the desk. Somehow merely thinking about him brought a smile to my lips. Well, hopefully on Saturday, some of his really non-redeeming qualities would shine, and I could drop him from my mind.

Turning off my tiny desk lamp, I got up from my seat and pushed in my chair. I grabbed my purse and closed the door. Making my way to the elevator, I passed by Ashley, one of the new analysts. She was really nice, and I hoped it wasn’t her who’d made the mistake. Confrontation, no matter how miniscule, wasn’t my favorite part of any day, but it made it easier when I at least didn’t like the person.

“Hey, Ashley.” I waved. “Don’t stay too late.”

“Just finishing up,” she replied, smiling. “My husband’s coming to pick me up on the way to the Sounders game, so it gave me time to get a jumpstart on tomorrow. Thanks for those tickets.”

“That’s right. I totally forgot. I guess the neon green you’re wearing should’ve tipped me off. Hope you guys have a blast,” I told her as I stepped into the elevator. She had won Sounders tickets for an incentive last week. They were club seats and included dinner and drinks. One of the many perks of corporate life.

I took the elevator down to the parking garage and walked over to my Jeep Rubicon. That was my splurge. I unlatched the T-top over the driver’s side and popped off the roof and did the same on the passenger’s side. Stuffing both lids in a bag, I put them on the backseat and hopped in the Jeep. I didn’t get all that many opportunities in Washington to drive around with the T-top removed, so I was going to take advantage whenever I could. Pulling out of the garage, I made a right turn onto the busy city street. With the Sounder’s game in only a couple hours, the city sidewalks were plastered in neon green people in every direction. It was a very festive sight, with blue and green scarves dangling from everyone’s necks…never mind that it was in the eighties.

I turned on my radio and switched it to my iTunes selection. Landing on Sub Focus’s
Tidal Wave
, I let the electronica wash over me as the wind blew through my overly pinned and secured hair. The warm air felt wonderful as it crawled along my skin. I saw Puget Sound glistening off in the distance with the commuter ferries chugging back and forth to the islands. I had always loved the islands.

Maybe I could do what my brother did and take off. Be free from everyone and everything. I glanced at all the tourists at Pike Place Market out enjoying the sunny evening.
That place was packed!
The flower vendors had huge bouquets of dahlias, delphiniums, stocks, and daisies stuffed into paper. The arrangements were always so pretty.

My Jeep crawled along in the intersection, and the beat of the music did what it always did for me. It took my cares away. I glanced at myself in the mirror and the prominent French knot that my hair was twisted in. It really was far too tidy for my liking. I did a quick release of my barrette and felt my hair cascade down my shoulders as I continued digging out the pins in my hair. It’d probably be completely tangled by the time I arrived at our condo but oh well. That’s what conditioner was for. My finger tapped on the steering wheel to the beat as the next song came through the speakers, and my mind drifted off.

How fitting!

Maroon 5’s
Love Somebody
came on next, and I started singing and laughing out loud, catching the attention of a family in the crosswalk. I waved and smiled as they chuckled at me, enjoying the crazy girl who could no doubt keep herself completely entertained in a Jeep. Turning my attention back to the lyrics, I let myself wonder… Maybe I did need to find someone but how cliché was that? I never grew up thinking I needed a man for anything—ever. So why would I start now? Maybe, what I really should do was get on that bike on Saturday and ride somewhere, anywhere.

I turned into the entrance of the parking garage and clicked the remote and watched as the gates opened. This commute had proven to be far too deep. I think I needed to make sure Brandy was with me for all future commutes so I didn’t suddenly move to Alaska. Apparently, it was best if I had very little time to myself at the moment because all sorts of crazy wanted to come flying out of me. If I was already daydreaming about escaping my brand new life, I had better start thinking twice what it was that I really wanted.

I pulled into my parking stall and grabbed the bags with the roof lids to take upstairs. I might as well keep them off the Jeep and enjoy the sunshine since it was supposed to be nice for the next week.

I hopped in the elevator and hit floor eleven, leaning against the sidewall. The elevator stopped at the lobby, and a woman carrying an iced coffee drink stepped in. She was dressed in a form fitting, blue suit and had a tight French knot. She was probably only in her early forties, but the expression on her face made her appear far older and stressed. Her lips could barely yield a smile as she looked at me. Pressing floor seven, she stepped back and sullenly stared at the doors. My hands began to get clammy and the elevator began feeling very stuffy. I looked down at the floor and refused to give in to the amount of anxiety that was somehow pressing its way into my veins. That woman was a prime example of who I didn’t want to turn into, but I was feeling like I was on the fast-track to skip right over life and get a tight French knot of my own. A shudder ran through me as I thought about my job. The job I needed to be happy about. I would be crazy to not understand just how fortunate I was.

Thankful when she got off on her floor, I pressed the door close button and impatiently waited to get home. I wasn’t even sure what in particular was dampening my mood by the second, but the one thing I did know was that I was looking forward to Brandy’s linguine.

The elevator dinged on floor eleven and the doors parted. There were only two condominiums on this floor. Ours overlooked Puget Sound and was the larger of the two. There were some perks to being my father’s daughter. Opening the door to the condo, I took in a deep breath and smelled the delicious lemony aroma in the air.

I dropped my purse on the floor and the bag for the Jeep and followed the scent to the kitchen.

“And here I was thinking of running away and never coming home. I don’t think I could ever do that. I’d miss your pasta night way too much,” I teased.

Brandy stood at the stove and turned around to look at me, giving me a bewildered expression.

“Did things turn south once I left the office?” she asked, with a spatula in hand.

“No. I was only kidding.” I realized I’d inadvertently opened a can of worms that I really didn’t feel like getting into. “I was only thinking about how fun it will be to get my bike on Saturday.”

“Yeah. I’m sure that was it.” She shook her head and turned back to the stove, stirring the sauce. “There’s a message from your dad over on the pad. He said he tried your cell and office.”

“I had the music blasting in the Jeep,” I said, grinning. “I’ll call him after dinner.”

“Well as you’re daydreaming about fleeing from your picture perfect life, I’m busy fielding calls from Shane.” She reached for the drainer and propped it in the sink, bringing the steaming pot of pasta over to drain. “He’s still calling. And he mentioned that Wyatt was wondering how you were.”

“I don’t know how much clearer I can be,” I said. “At least Wyatt didn’t call me on my cell phone.”

“That’s because you’ve changed it like three times, and he doesn’t have your new one,” she chided. “Chicken. At least I still talk to my ex.”

“Is that a good thing?” I laughed.

She shrugged and slurped in a noodle.

“Whatever. I’ve told him everything I had to say. I’m just not that into him.”

“Might I add that you’re never that into anyone,” she said, now tossing the linguine and lemon sauce in a bright red bowl. The oven chimed and she snatched another potholder and grabbed the bread out of the oven.

I raised my shoulders in an innocent plea to drop it, and yanked the bread from her, placing it on the cutting board, and began slicing away.

“You know it’s true.”

“It’s not like you’re with someone right now,” I reminded her.

“Unlike you, I’m not adverse to the idea. I went out with a guy last week. We didn’t happen to click. The difference is that I’m willing to keep trying. You seem to have given up on the idea, and you’ve barely begun the search. You’re too young to give up.”

“My. God. When you put it that way, you make it sound like it’s a talent competition.”

“In some ways…”

I rolled my eyes and followed her out to the patio where she already had the place settings arranged.

“Besides,” I said, putting the bread down and touching the beautiful flowers she’d placed in the center of the table, “why would I ever want to leave this treatment?”

“Because we don’t want to be two old maids, wondering what the hell happened to us as we push ourselves around with a walker,” she laughed as she sat down.

I couldn’t help but laugh as I eased into the chair. “You’ve got a point.”

“I know I do and on that note, we are going out tomorrow after work.”

My internal groan slipped out and Brandy beamed at me.

“What? You know you’ve become kind of…” her voice trailed off.

“I’ve become what?” I asked, raising a brow.

“Complacent or...I don’t know. It seems like we’ve barely gotten out of college, and you’ve closed off that person completely and recreated yourself into someone who’s forgotten how to throw back a few and relax.”

“I almost had a panic attack in our elevator tonight because this really miserable-looking woman stepped in the elevator, and I wondered if that was going to be what I turned into,” I admitted.