Beyond Possession (Beyond #5.5) (17 page)

Lili didn't even have a word for it.

A couple was kissing just inside the door, the man's hand poorly hidden beneath the woman's sheer skirt. Lili jerked her gaze away and scanned the edge of the wall, desperately looking for a safe corner.

There were so many men. More than there were women, so many more. Some of them tried to catch her gaze, but Lili stubbornly refused, even knowing she'd have to give in to one of them soon. A woman on her own in the sectors didn't last, and Dallas O'Kane hadn't been able to hide his disappointment at learning how little she knew about the inner workings of Sector Five. His tolerance would wear thin soon enough, and if she didn't have a man willing to claim her...

She'd trained to be a wife, but Sector Four didn't seem to have those. She didn't know
what
they had—mistresses was the nicest word she could come up with, and it was better than the alternative. At least a mistress might have
some
duties outside of the bedroom.

But if she had to be a whore, she'd do that, too. She'd do whatever it took.

A flash of white in the shadows drew her gaze, and Lili's heart shot into her throat.

Amazing how homesick a well-tailored dress shirt could leave her. She didn't miss much about her life in Sector Five, but it had been a place where she understood the rules. The man on the couch was perfect in a way that felt familiar. Not just well dressed, but refined. His crisp white shirt and perfectly fitted slacks stood out among the leather and denim popular with the O'Kanes, but he didn't appear to care.

In that, she envied him.

She didn't make the decision to drift toward him, not on a conscious level. It just happened, like it was inevitable. Like he was a magnet, and she was steel instead of ice, tugged toward the only person in the room who was like her.

It was an illusion. It had to be, if he was here at an O'Kane party. Putting on a nice shirt didn't make a man safe and boring any more than putting on a leather skirt had made her wild. But she still stopped next to the couch and did her best to smile. "May I sit?"

He looked up at her, his gaze lingering for only a moment on her breasts. "Please."

The drugs weren't working. They couldn't be, because her cheeks warmed as she did her best to sit without flashing the room. With her knees together and her ankles crossed, the skirt barely covered her underwear. She was showing more skin than she was hiding, but she hadn't really felt exposed until he looked at her.

He shifted his glass—whiskey, from the looks of it—and held out his hand. "I'm Jared."

He didn't give a family name, so maybe she didn't have to, either. It wasn't as if she had one she was eager to claim. "I'm Lili," she said instead, slipping her hand into his. So intimate, his skin brushing hers, his fingers wrapping around her hand. These people touched all the time, and Lili wasn't sure she'd ever grow used to it.

"I know who you are."

She studied his expression, searching for signs of disapproval or distaste, but his mask was even better than her own. "Is that a problem? Who I am?"

In response, he flashed her his naked wrists, clearly visible beneath the rolled-up sleeves of his shirt. "It doesn't matter what I think."

So he wasn't an O'Kane, either. Just a man secure enough in his place with them that he made no effort to fade into the background. Not a man to cross. "It matters to me."

Jared shrugged. "I never knew your father—or your husband. Except by reputation."

If he was lying, he was flawless. His lack of concern was as perfect as his face—and oh, how perfect that was. So many of the men here were roughhewn, ragged and worn. Jared was a sculpture carved by a master, all strong lines and beauty.

Maybe that was why he didn't intimidate her in the same way as the O'Kanes. He didn't seem entirely real. "I wish I'd only known them by reputation."

A sympathetic smile tilted his lips. "Of that, I'm sure."

She gestured to his wrist. "Why are you here? Are you thinking of joining Dallas's men?"

That made his smile widen. "Me? I'm here for the view."

He looked to the side, and her gaze followed his before she could stop herself. And then the warmth wasn't just in her cheeks, but creeping down her throat and bubbling up from inside her.

She knew Rachel. The blonde bartender had been friendly from the beginning, making overtures to Lili even after her inability to reciprocate had driven away some of the other women. There was something comforting about her, especially when she was dressed in overalls and smudged with engine grease. She wasn't familiar, but her differences were tantalizing, a hint that women might have more choices than cooking and sewing. Rachel fixed cars and brewed beer. She wore whatever she wanted.

She wasn't wearing anything at all right now. Naked and apparently unconcerned with the fact, she knelt in front of the two men sprawled on a couch, pleasuring one with her mouth and the other with her hand.

Lili groped for the safety of chilly numbness, but those two sad little tablets hadn't been strong enough for this. And if it had only been fear—
that
she could manage. Fear was vital, the basis for survival. But the sick, confusing way her body heated, the way it prickled and ached, like a limb waking up...

She averted her gaze and tried to unfocus her eyes again, but there was no safe place to look. Not even Jared, because when she turned back to him, the perfection of his face didn't evoke polite appreciation.

He made her tingle and ache, too.

"This must be odd for you." His voice was lazy and low, casual as he lit a cigarette. "Even after a few months. It isn't much like Sector Five, is it?"

"I don't know," she admitted, flinching when her voice wavered. "I didn't see much of Sector Five. But no. It's not like my life was."

"And you doubt it all." It wasn't a question.

To doubt it, she'd have to have a point of reference. Something she could comprehend to begin with. "I don't understand it."

"Fair enough." He drained his whiskey. "Out of curiosity, what do you see?"

He
was
asking now, so she forced herself to look at Rachel again. The taller man—Cruz—had his hand in her hair, trapping her so that she had no choice but to let him take whatever pleasure he wanted from her mouth. But she was still working at the other man, too, as if having the responsibility for one man's satisfaction wasn't enough.

Lili closed her eyes, but that accomplished nothing because of the
sounds
. The trio was close enough for her to hear the men's groans of pleasure, and Rachel's moans of—

Satisfaction? It should have been impossible, but she was as loud as the men, and so sincere it rattled Lili's confidence. "I don't know," she told Jared without opening her eyes. "I told you, I don't understand."

The leather cushions creaked. When Jared spoke, his voice was only inches from her ear. "She has them both begging," he rumbled. "Completely at her mercy. That's what
I
see."

The tingling in Lili's body intensified. Goosebumps rose on her skin, and she rubbed her hands over her arms. This was the danger of all those years of numbness—being raw, vulnerable to feelings she'd never experienced, much less learned to manage.

And Rachel was still moaning. "What I'm seeing isn't the confusing part," Lili whispered. "She sounds..."

"Like she's getting off on it?"

The words were incoherent, obviously slang for something else her life in Five hadn't prepared her to understand. "Does that mean she's enjoying it?"

Jared huffed out a soft laugh. "You enjoy a fine drink, good company, or a particularly beautiful desert sunset, Lili. Something like that? It tears you apart, then puts you back together again. It's pleasure, love. Real pleasure. It's not something you merely
enjoy
."

The ice protecting her nerves was melting. The ice beneath her feet was cracking. One more whisper and it would shatter, plunging Lili into the depths of sin.

And she wanted it.

The story continues with Jared & Lili in
Beyond Innocence

Kit Rocha is the pseudonym for co-writing team Donna Herren and Bree Bridges. After penning dozens of paranormal novels, novellas and stories as
Moira Rogers
, they branched out into gritty, sexy dystopian romance. The
Beyond
series has appeared on the New York Times and USA Today bestseller lists, and was honored with a 2013 RT Reviewer's Choice award. Get updates about their new books by
subscribing to their announcement list
, or visit their website at
kitrocha.com

Beyond Possession

Copyright © 2014 by Kit Rocha

This novella is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author except in the case of brief quotation embodied in critical articles and reviews.