Black (Clashing Colors Book 1) (18 page)

CHAPTER 15

Lake Union

Cia

Our first night in Gabriel’s apartment I spent on the couch. In my twenty-one years of living, I had only shared a bed with one other person: Gabriel. And now that I was back to being alone, I missed his warmth and closeness.

Gabriel was out with friends while I was lying alone in the apartment, looking out on the idyllic view of Lake Union with the pretty lights from the restaurants and houseboats.

My thoughts where occupied with the people I knew and how they would react to my being Cia, compared to Black. I gave a small snicker at the thought that they might not even recognize me without my piercings and black armor. I could suit up and go find them since I had my black outfit in a bag, but surprising them with my new look might be more fun. I was pretty sure that Daniel, at least, would be shocked to see me like this.

Daniel and I used to date… or date is maybe not the right word for two people like us, but Daniel was the first to break down my wall and become my friend. He was also the first guy to ever kiss me and hold my hand.

He’s older than me by fifteen years and I met him when he stayed at The Inn for a few months four years ago. Back then, I was a junior in high school and he had just retired from the army, but he was determined to get to know me and volunteered to keep an eye out for the cops when I did my street art. The thing I love about Daniel is that he’s got a great sense of humor and he takes me for who I am.

The problem with Daniel is that he’s got a temper and suffers from severe PTSD. He’s been kicked out of four apartments in the time I’ve known him because he gets in trouble with neighbors all the time. Still, he’s a good guy, and I would call Daniel right now, if I had a phone.

A quick gaze at the microwave in the kitchen told me it was already a quarter past eleven. If I wanted to find Daniel, I would have to go search his usual hangouts, which weren’t the nicest parts of the city. Good thing I wasn’t a scaredy-cat.

⦓∞
⦔

The realization that things were different creeped up on me slowly, and by the time I reached the Pike Place Market area I really missed my black armor.

When I dressed as a Goth, most people wouldn’t give me much attention. Some would even cross the street. Now, wearing my white outfit and blond hair I received too much unwanted attention. Creepy guys would whistle and catcall at me. One even sniffed at me and called me his flower.

These were
my
streets, god damn it. I knew this area like my own back pocket – the best places to attract customers, escape routes if the police showed. As Black, I had walked here fearlessly. As Cia, I was constantly on alert.

Daniel wasn’t in any of the three first places I searched and when I finally found him, he was down by the pier hanging out with a bunch of people that were for most parts as troubled as us.

I leaned up against a lamppost and waited for him to spot me. Several of the people in the group shot me quick looks and frowns and even Daniel glanced over a few times. None of them recognized me as their friend.

I stepped closer and stood only a few feet from them when they all turned their heads.

“Hey, lady, something we can help you with?” one of them said with a bit of hostility.

“Don’t give me that tone, Boots. I’m here to see Daniel.”

Boots narrowed his eyes and Daniel pushed up from the bench he’d been sitting on. “What the fuck?”

I stood still as he stepped closer to me. “Black?” he asked and took me in with an incredulous stare.

I grinned. “Hey, D… did you miss me?”

Normally Daniel would have hugged me. He was one of the few I allowed to touch me, but he looked uncertain about how to greet me. “What happened to you? Did you join a cult or something?”  

My grin widened. “You could say that. I got busted for a visit to Bartell’s and got taken by the cops.”

He nodded. “I figured it was something like that. So is this a disguise to hide from the police?” He pointed up and down my body.

“Nahh… I’ve got my first court hearing in ten days, and since I stole meds the judge and my lawyer advised me to go into rehab before the hearing.”

“Ohh… so that’s why you look like an angel all dressed in white. Did they make you meditate for a few weeks to find your inner peace and shit like that?” he said with sympathy.

“Not exactly, but I’ve got good news.”

Daniel and I took a walk and I told him about Gabriel and the camp. Several times he was bending over laughing so hard that he cried.

“I don’t think you appreciate how traumatic it was to hear a woman dressed as a child ask me if I wanted to go play in the woods with her daddy.”

Daniel had tears rolling down his face and was fighting to stop laughing enough so that he could speak. “I’m sorry, Black, but that’s hysterical. Why didn’t you just kick her ass or something?”

I wrinkled my nose. “I didn’t want anything to do with her, or her ass.”

“Tell me about the crazy therapist again – did he seriously make you wear a diaper?”

“I shouldn’t have told you that…”

“Oh, come on, Black, it’s me, your best friend. We tell each other everything.” He was still laughing.

“Yeah, but if you tell anyone about my humiliation, I’ll knock out your front teeth.”

“Hey, that’s just mean.”

“I saw my mom,” I said and that finally made him stop laughing.

He grabbed my arm and made me come to an abrupt stop. “You saw her at the camp?”

“Uh-huh. She came for a session.”

“And?”

“She apologized for being a bad mom and I got to tell her how I feel about her.”

“Shit… that had to be unpleasant. Did it help?”

I walked on and turned left to cut through Denny Park. “Yes, it helped. At least I’m no longer scared of her. I used to be afraid she would find me. Scared that she would suddenly confront me on the street. But now that I’ve seen her, I know she can’t hurt me anymore and more importantly, I know she doesn’t want to hurt me.”

“That’s awesome, right?”

“Yeah… I used to obsess about her, but now that threat is gone.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll find new things to obsess about; that’s how our minds work.”

“I hope not.”

He laughed. “Take it from an expert.”

“How have you been?”

“Not good, but my social worker got me a new place.”

“You have an apartment?”

“I’m moving in next week… it’s going to be sweet being off the streets again.”

“Where have you been sleeping?”

“Damian’s floor mostly.”

“He still got that place by the Irish pub?”

“Yep, it’s a shithole, but it’s better than a park bench.”

“I’m happy you’re getting your own place, and this time you’ll keep out of trouble with the neighbors.”

“Of course.”

“No, I mean it. No loud music in the middle of the night, and no arguments with them.”

“I only play the music to drown out the voices in my head.”

“I know, but then use a headset or something. Or better yet, tell those damn voices to shut the fuck up.”

“Ha,” he scoffed. “As if I haven’t tried that already.”

“Well, try harder then. Man up, soldier, you can beat this.”

He saluted me, army style. “Yes, General.”

We walked on for five blocks until we could see Lake Union.

“Thank you for walking me back,” I said.

“I want to meet your uncle.”

“Why?”

He put his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his toes and heels. “Because he sounds incredible and I want to shake his hand and thank him for being good to my girl.”

“I’m not your girl, Daniel, I’m your friend.”

He smiled. “Whatever you say.”

“I’ll introduce you, but not tonight, okay?”

“When?”

“Soon.”

I rose up to hug Daniel.

“Sweet dreams,” he said and kissed me on my cheek.

“You too – and D…”

“Yeah?”

“You need to take a shower, you kind of stink.”

He grinned. “I took a shower this morning… it’s the clothes.”

“Then wash your clothes.”

“Will do.” He raised his hand and waved as he turned and walked back.

⦓∞
⦔

Gabriel

It was great being out and drinking beers with some of my good old friends. Still, three of the five guys are fathers now, so we didn’t tour the city like we used to when we were in college. A little after midnight they started looking at their cellphones, talking about babies and kids waking up early.

In my tipsy state, I called them a bunch of wussies.

It took me twenty minutes to walk from the bar on Capitol Hill to the apartment, and I tiptoed through the living room to avoid waking up Cia, but when I passed the couch I stopped and stared; it was empty.

A smile spread on my lips and I entered my bedroom, but Cia wasn’t in my bed either, and that’s when I started to worry.

⦓∞
⦔

Cia

“Where the hell have you been?”

Those were the first words that met me when I got back to the apartment.

Gabriel looked like a wild boar ready to attack, with his nostrils flaring and his eyes wide open and focused in on me.

“I went out,” I said and closed the door behind me. “What’s wrong, did something happen to you?”

“What happened to me was that I came home and you weren’t here.”

I frowned in confusion. “So?”

“So I worried, and it’s not like I can call you to know you’re all right. What if you were hurt somewhere? I’ve been worried shitless because of you.”

I walked closer, tilting my head and trying to understand why he would freak out like this. “It’s only one o’clock… I’m not used to anyone worrying about me.”

Taking a step forward, he pulled me into his arms. “Well, I’m not your mom, and I worry. You should have left a note at least.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, not liking his smell of beer and pushing at him to make him ease his tight grip around me.

“Where did you go?” he asked.

“To see Daniel.”

“Your friend?”

“Uh-huh. I figured he was worried about me, so I wanted to tell him I was fine. He wants to meet you.”

“Me? Why?”

I chuckled. “I asked him that too, and he says he wants to thank you for being good to his girl.”

Gabriel tensed. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Just that he appreciates everything that you’ve done for me.”

“No, I mean why does he calls you ‘his girl?’” Gabriel asked in a gruff voice. “Is he your boyfriend?”

I shrugged. “No, but we’ve been good friends for years.”

“How good?” Gabriel said in a tone I didn’t like.

I tried to pull back. “That’s none of your business.” I don’t know why I said that, except that his question felt like an attack and it made me defensive.

“Did you sleep with Daniel tonight?” Gabriel asked, and there was raw accusation in his tone.

“I don’t need your permission to go out and I certainly don’t need to tell you anything about my sex life,” I snapped back.

He released me and folded his arms in front of him. “So if I went out and fucked someone, or even brought her back here, you would be okay with that?”

My heart broke a little, but I managed to lie right to his face. “Of course. You’re my uncle, not my boyfriend.”

He stomped off and slammed the door to his bedroom. Whatever had just happened between us told me one thing. I needed to find a job and my own place. I couldn’t be here if he ever brought a woman home and had sex with her. I would die inside.

⦓∞
⦔

The next week was awkward. We shared small talk and pleasantries, but Gabriel was gone most days visiting friends and family.

Somehow it was easier that way.

I visited Darren, the gallery owner who wanted to exhibit my art, and he surprised me in so many ways. Not only was he as tall and wide as Gabriel, but he was also more feminine than any woman I’ve ever met, with the way he swung his hands around in an exaggerated way. When he spoke he had that peculiar articulation of the sibilants where his pronunciation of s and z sounded as if he was holding his tongue between his teeth. I suspected the man didn’t really lisp but was expressing being gay in a dramatic way that was in complete alignment with his flamboyant style of clothing.

Not many would be able to pull off wearing tight leather pants and cowboy boots, supplemented with a neatly ironed blue shirt, a vest with a white and green harlequin pattern, and a pink bowtie.