Blood of the Pure (Gaea) (7 page)

If I was going crazy, well, there wasn’t much I could do about it. But on the other hand, if he was real, what should I do? The question echoed inside me without a proper answer and panic began taking over again.

I told myself I had to be able to think straight. I made myself recall everything that had happened the day before. The strange store, the old woman, the book. Nothing special about any of it. Sure, the old book had a strange title, but still, it was only a book.

I’d picked it up thinking about putting it away and, instead, had opened it.

I bit my lower lip.

Why in hell had I opened that thing when I’d practically swore to never read it?

But the real problem was in what I’d idiotically decided to do next. I’d allowed myself to believe in this childish idea that all my problems could be solved with a simple Magical Spell. I’d allowed my pain due to Michael’s indifference to speak louder than my better judgment.

I dropped my head on my arms, feeling too tired, and sighed deeply. In flashes I recalled parts of that ritual — The Circle, The Nine Angels and those strange words.

My heart jumped. Those words! Now that I thought about it, I remembered that the spell hadn’t even been finished. There had been a few more lines left to read. And, according to what was written on the chapter about Protection Circles, once a ritual was over, the Circle had to be undone. I’d never even arrived to that part. The windstorm had interrupted me and destroyed everything. With a strange irony, I couldn’t help thinking that the symbols I’d written with salt hadn’t done much in terms of protecting me.

I remembered the nothingness that had become something, and then ... him!

Had he said something about me being able to break a Seal? Could he have been speaking about the Seal that had kept him away? And if so, did it mean I was the one who had set that ... thing free?

If I had set him free, maybe there would be a way to send him away again, or lock him away, or whatever. All I had to do was rebuild that Seal. Maybe I could look up for an answer in the library or on the internet. Maybe I’d find something that could help me, I told myself, too aware that I was simply trying to keep my wits about me and trying to avoid despair.

And then? He had decided to kill me. And I remembered thinking I would certainly die. For a moment I recalled his expression of surprise as he held his hand protectively. Change of plans, he’d told me. I couldn’t understand why, but decided to leave it at that, since I already had too much to think about. He’d also told me something about a Contract. He’d fulfill my wish and I ... I ...

I stood up with a jump and the chair fell backwards with a loud bang. I couldn’t breathe and suddenly sensed a wave of anger I didn’t know I could feel burn my stomach.

What the hell was that?! Who did he think he was to decide on something like that?

“Miss Mariane! Is there something wrong?”

I raised my head, remembering where I was, and the anger that heated the blood in my veins went icy cold just as fast. My cheeks blushed, since I’d become the center of attention, and I tried as hard as I could, but still couldn’t find something smart to say. To my relief the sound of the bell filled the air and everyone started dragging chairs as the teacher shouted his last instructions about a homework assignment.

With a sigh I gathered my things. Maybe if I could simply ignore him, I wondered, although I had little faith that this last plan would work. He didn’t look like something that would eventually get tired and go away if I pretended not to see him. Quite the opposite. He looked more like he would probably do something terrible if I were to anger him.

I found Steph near Joanne and we went together to our next class.

I tried as hard as I could to listen to what was being taught. I didn’t want to be questioned about what was being said and find myself unable to answer. Something like that would make my friends worry and, regardless of my problem having a solution or not, this was still my problem. I’d been the one to create it and I’d have to be the one to deal with it.

When the bell rang again, I’d started to feel like myself once more, with a certain measure of courage burning inside my chest, for which I felt particularly proud. What was the worst that could happen anyway? Well, he could probably decide he wanted my Soul after all.

We went down to the cafeteria, talking about our plans for the weekend. Steph had been invited to go to the cinema by some guy from the arts department, but she still hadn’t given him an answer. Joanne was trying to convince her to go. We were almost at the cafeteria’s door when I made my decision. Steph also stopped, noticing I wasn’t following them anymore, and turned back the few steps keeping us apart.

“Mari? What’s wrong?” she asked, again with that worried tone, watching me closely. I faced her greenish eyes which seemed to surprise her.

“There’s something I have to do.”

“Something? But ... right now?” she insisted and I nodded. She stood quiet for a moment, as if studying me or trying to guess what was making me act so strangely, and a smile lit her face as her eyes grew bigger. “Are you going to talk with him?” she asked in a soft murmur, even though it was obvious she was excited by the idea. I stared blankly at her for a moment, trying to make sense of what she’d just asked. Right then my mind was so set on what I’d decided that it was hard to think of anything else.

“Oh,” I whispered as I understood who the
him
was and a sharp pain drove into my chest. Yes, it had been all because of him, all because I’d been stupid and weak, and tried to cheat. But, even so, all I had to do was call forth his image in my mind and a warm feeling washed over me, making me feel foolishly happy. “Yes,” I answered, aware I was deceiving her but at least not lying.

“Oh, but that’s great!” she exclaimed, jumping up and down. I couldn’t help smile at her happiness. “But you should eat something first, you know?” she added, always trying to take care of me, which gave me a warm feeling.

“Don’t worry. I’ll eat afterwards, while you’re in class. Right now I simply wouldn’t be able to,” I confessed and she placed a friendly hand on my shoulder.

“OK then. See you at four?” I nodded and she kissed me on the cheek. “Good luck,” she whispered and turned to go back to the others. “You’ll have to tell me everything afterwards!” she added over the noise coming from the cafeteria and went back to where Joanne kept her place in line.

I watched them for moment as they talked together, easily belonging to a world where I had to try so hard to fit in, and then turned away and ran in the opposite direction, avoiding the groups of students walking towards the cafeteria. I’d made a decision and postponing it further would only make things harder. I ran up the stairs and down the corridor and stopped when I opened a door to an empty classroom. I was certain that thinking too much about it would shatter my weak courage, and so I closed the door behind me and took a deep breath.

“Are you here?” I called out, but even so my voice sounded weak and frail, scratching my suddenly dry throat. “You’re here, aren’t you?” I insisted, as my will waned away, but nothing happened.

The tension I’d unconsciously accumulated started leaving my body. Somewhere in my mind, the thought I was being foolish made me smile. I certainly sounded like a crazy person, talking to the empty chairs in an empty classroom.

The deep sound of his chuckle froze my bones, sending my thoughts over a dark precipice. My stomach turned upside down and I knew I’d done the right thing by not eating. I clenched my teeth hard to stop them from clattering since my whole body was trembling uncontrollably. And I knew that if I still wasn’t crazy, I was definitely half way there. For an instant the idea even sounded good. Everyone said that crazy people didn’t know they were crazy. And maybe I’d be able to face all these things fearlessly, free from the terror that threatened to swallow me whole.

“Hmm. This is rather interesting. In a second you’re so terrified you can hardly speak. And next you’re standing here, calling for me,” I heard his voice in that cold but amused tone and forced myself to take a deep breath.

Breathe ... stay calm ... think. The worst thing that can happen ... yes ... it’s he killing me. And not even that can be that bad. Nothing can be worse than this.

Once more I managed to free myself from the panic that swallowed my thoughts and turned my head towards him, to face him as strongly as I could. His intense presence filled the air all around us, in waves that promised to devour me, and I immediately fell back to my new self-control technique — slowly breathing.

Between rhythmic inspirations I noticed he stood on the other side of the room, leaning against the wall between two windows. Like all Human Beings, he had two legs, two arms and one head. His hair was completely black, falling straight and silky below his waist and over his forehead in rebellious strands. He kept his arms folded over his chest like if he was waiting for something, and the skin I could see, like his face, was so white it almost looked bluish. He looked young and his features were simply perfect, as if he were a statue carved from pure white marble. His lips were thin but colorless. The only color in his face came from the eyes that looked at me; violet eyes that appeared almost crystal liquid. I recalled seeing red reflections in his eyes earlier, but either that had been something I’d imagined due to my frightened state or it had simply disappeared.

“So?” he asked with that same velvet voice, and I couldn’t help staring in disbelief at the way his lips moved. Irrationally, I had almost come to believe they would never part as if they really belonged to some statue. Watching him speak had left me as perplexed as I would surely be should I’d seen Michelangelo’s
David
smile at me. “You called for me. Here I am.”

But he still hadn’t moved, I noted, and I was internally thankful for that. I was sure I’d be unable to keep my thoughts rational if he were to approach me. My ribs still hurt, reminding me of the overwhelming strength he used to push me against the wall, justifying my fear of his proximity.

“Are you really ... for real?” I asked, my voice no more than a whisper I was certain he wouldn’t be able to hear. That was the key question; the one that would definitely cut off all my possible escape routes. And I wished he really hadn’t heard it so I could keep that last ray of hope.

His purple eyes kept staring at me during those brief moments of silence when he went back to being that perfect statue. And then his lips distended into a terrifying smile, making me step back against the door, my hand flying for the knob as I readied myself to run as fast as my trembling legs would take me.

“You think I’m some kind of hallucination?” he asked me, slightly bending his head. “Want me to prove just how real I am?”

I shook my head vehemently, my hand squeezing the doorknob so tightly that my fingers hurt. I made myself breathe to regain some of my rationality and reminded myself that, hallucination or not, it was no use running away. Besides, calling him there had been own my choice.

“What are you?” I tried again and he laughed, startling me as usual.

“Stupid questions,” he spat in spite and turned his head towards the blackboard, as if it were much more interesting than me. “You don’t know? Or are you looking for a confirmation?”

I kept silent. In my mind I was amazed at myself for being able to just stand there, in his presence, and I wondered how much more I could take before completely falling apart. I’d already exceeded my own limits and, in flashes of madness, I started wishing he would simply kill me and put an end to that terrifying feeling of being hunted by deadly monster spawn from some unknown abyss.

“Aren’t you going to ... kill me?” I managed to ask, part of me wishing he would say yes, and he looked at me through the corner of his eye, as if to avoid unnecessary movements.

“Is that what you want?” he retorted. For an instant I dreaded to think he might have read my mind. I thought he might really do it and I wished to live! “If it is, I am really sorry. Sure, that was my initial idea. But, as I’ve told you, I changed plans.”

I felt heat spreading through my body, as the shadow of the anger I’d felt during class returned, and released the doorknob, clenching my fists to gain courage.

“This Contract, I won’t accept it!” I stated, raising my voice, and he looked surprised. “I ...” My voice cracked as the small courage I’d been able to gather slipped away like water between my fingers, and I forced myself to go on. “A Contract is invalid if not accepted by both parties ... and I ...”

The red glow that took over his eyes silenced what was left of my voice. Against everything my crazed mind thought possible, a light frown marked his forehead.

“Won’t accept!” His voice, in that ice-cold whisper, was pure anger and I thought my heart would stop. However, in the next second, his expression went back to one of a renaissance statue and a brief smile touched his lips. “This is something you can’t refuse,” he stated as if that was the conclusion he had reached in those brief seconds. “Your Soul is rightfully mine, which goes much beyond your insignificant life. You may not understand exactly what I’m saying within your limited human understanding. But everything about you belongs to me. In fact, accepting this Contract is the only way you have to save yourself. It’s the only way to limit my actions and make them bend to your will,” he informed me and I tried as hard as I could to understand what he meant. “As you can see, I’m even being nice,” he added with a sarcasm that made me tremble. “Besides, wasn’t it to see your pathetic wish fulfilled that you went through the ritual?”