Book of the Hidden (11 page)

     
"Why?"

     
"You want to be human."

     
Seth turned his body around to face her leaning his back against the door. “Just because I want to be human, it doesn’t mean I can’t come around, does it?”

“It does. You will be human, therefore you will have to live among them. You can’t have any contact with us. Especially me.” She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, and the second she blinked they fell fast down her cheeks. She bowed her head to hide them, but with his thumb, Seth wiped the tears aside.

     
He leaned forward, his lips brushing against her ear. Very softly he whispered, “then maybe I don’t want to be human. Maybe I don't ever want to go back."

     
“Yes you do.” She squeezed her eyes tight trying not to let anymore tears fall. Now she was the vulnerable one.

     
“No, I don’t. I can stay here with you. I want to stay.”

     
Vivian’s heart jumped at his words, but then quickly fell. She couldn’t allow him to stay. If he could have the chance to go back to his family he should take it.
 
“No…. We’re going to find the book, and you’re going to be human again, and you will go.” Vivian said.

     
“I heard what Jean said, that nobody is supposed to be changed. Don’t you go by the book?” Seth responded.

     
“Yes… But I know how much being human means to you.” She pursed her lips.

     
“Vivian, I don’t have a family to go back to. All I have is my brother, and I will not scare him with what I am. I will find a good family for him. For the past three weeks I’ve lived with the other creatures, and I love it. I’m not some kind of beast that I thought I was before. And most of all, I want you. If being human means losing you, it’s not worth it.”

     
Her lips parted to say something, but she didn’t know what. Now her mouth was gaped open in surprise. This was not what she expected him to say. She wanted him so badly to stay, to be apart of them, but now she knew he had a little brother, she knew that even if she kept him he would leave in the end anyway. There is no such thing as fairy tales.

     
He shook his head sadly. “No, please, Vivian, I want to stay.”

     
“No!” She practically screamed. “Don’t do this Seth. It’s the right thing to do….”

     
“I was made this way for a reason, and I believe it was to be with you.”

     
She looked away back at the orange colors that painted the nightly sky. “I know why you were made this way…. It was so I could change you back. You could be the first human to know us, and not hate us. The first human to know us, and love us.”

     
Seth’s voice cracked. “You don’t believe that.”

     
Vivian pushed down the lump in her throat that was trying to force tears, and shaking. “Yes I do. This isn’t a romance. It isn’t anything.”

     
She closed her eyes, the tears shining on her lashes. A door slammed beside her, and it broke her heart again, but not because he did it, but because she did. She broke her own heart.

     
Opening her eyes she looked over, watching him retreat back. It was a beautiful picture, his back and the orange black sky, the stars above almost as bright as the sun. She leaned her head on the wheel, and tears fell down the crinkle of her eyes, and down the leather of the steering wheel.

     
Vivian started the ignition, and drove away from the Underground, but not even the driving helped her heart. Vivian did not know where she was going. Not at first. She wasn’t sure if she should get the book. Maybe Seth was right about him changing, that it was meant to be so they could be together. But it couldn’t be that. Vivian was fine, she didn’t need a silly boyfriend, some stupid romance to fit into her weird life. She was fine…..

The drive was not long, though Vivian felt a million miles away from their family, they only lived a block away from the field where the Underground lays. She had never driven this way before. It was always the other direction towards her parent’s house.

During the journey, she had stopped frequently to pound her fists on the steering wheel, making the drive much longer than it should have been.

It was all due to the fact that she was breaking a promise to herself to never set foot near her family again, and the thought of facing them was agonizing, like a large stone that resided at the bottom of her stomach. The thought of Jean doing it was a relief until she remembered when Jean would say, “you should do it, you haven’t seen them since it happened. Go on!” She pounded the wheel a few more times.

     
When Vivian had finally made it, she took notice that the baby blue color house had not changed at all. A strip of different colored flowers lined the cobblestone walkway to the white double doors. It was an old Victorian house, but a classy old, it was in no way falling apart.

     
Vivian unstuck her hands from the wheel she had been clutching. Memories flooded out the anger for a moment. She recaptured images that made her heart plummet, and wonder very deep down if her choice to not change was a mistake.

     
She was lost in the memories, so much that she did not pay attention to where her steps lead her, or where her fingertips trailed. A huge tree she could not wrap her arms fully around was in front of her. A far away small voice - Jean’s voice - came floating back. Don’t fall, she said, and with that, almost like a jinx, Vivian had fallen hard on her right arm causing a sharp snap of pain as the bone broke.

     
“Vivie!”

     
Before she had the chance to look around, a small blonde haired girl clung tightly to her leg.

     
“Joan,” Vivian whispered. She knelt down wiping the tears away from the girl’s cheeks.

     
“Vivie, where have you been?”

     
She smiled thinking of telling her baby cousin the truth that she was living with all types of creatures. She laughed quietly at her own thoughts. “I’ve just been away.”

     
“Are you here to stay? Where’s Jean?” Joan questioned.

     
Behind Joan stood a woman with curly very light brown hair, almost blonde. Anger came back forcefully into Vivian. It was Aunt Karen, mother to Joan, and a thorn in Vivian's side. Vivian gently pushed Joan’s fingers away from the clawing at the fabric of her jeans. Standing up, she shook her head causing Joan to cry again. It was not much comfort, but she stroked her hair.

     
“She’s away, and I’m sorry baby cousin, I’m not wanted here, neither of us are.” vivian didn’t take her eyes off of Aunt Karen.

     
“Joan, inside,” Aunt Karen’s voice was scratchy, like wet fingers running over a balloon.

     
Flaxen curls covered Joan’s face as she tried to hide her tears. She didn’t take any steps to obey her mother, but stood there still.

     
“Joan, I’m telling you to go inside the house now.” With no response, Aunt Karen said in a firm voice that she thought was tough, “Joan Marie, inside right now.”

     
Joan looked up at her cousin. “Are you ever coming back?”

     
Vivian tore her eyes away from her aunt. She wanted so badly to say yes, and see the smile that use to be present on Joan. But she couldn’t lie to her, because it would only hurt her more in the end. “No…. I won’t.”

     
“Why?”

     
“Joan!,” Aunt Karen said threateningly.

     
Vivian knelt down slightly to her eye level. “It will be okay. You’ll see me sometime. Maybe not soon, but sometime.”

     
This didn’t seem to comfort Joan, and she turned and walked back inside the house slamming the door. In a large window of the house, Joan stood watching. Maybe it was too far for Vivian to see, but she could have sworn Joan was crying.

     
"Excuse me?"

     
The wet balloon voice caught her attention back to Aunt Karen standing there with her hands on her hips. With Joan out of ear-shot, Vivian had no reason to hold her tongue any longer. “I’m surprised.”

     
Aunt Karen pulled her green bathrobe tighter around hersel retying the shawl coming very close to Vivian. “Why’s that?”

     
“You haven’t told her I’m dead,” Vivians hand itched to hit her.

     
“We assumed you would come to your senses. Have you? Or are you here because you heard the news about June. I don’t know if you get normal news where you’re at.”

     
She let out a staggering breath. “No. I’m here for the book.”

     
“You’re not even worried about your Aunt?” Aunt Karen questioned.

     
“No.” Vivian replied.

     
“That’s hateful – “

     
“About as hateful as all of you have treated my sister and I.”

     
“You were not who we thought we knew,” Aunt Karen suddenly yelled.

     
“You all were not who I thought you were either,” Vivian yelled back, sucking a deep breath through her nose. “Where’s the book?”

     
“What book are you talking about?”

     
“The book you stole!”

     
“I didn’t steal anything!”

     
Okay, now Vivian’s temper raised. Her lip twitched, and glass shattered from the red Corvettes windows.

     
“That’s my car!” Aunt Karen screamed.

     
“Where’s the book Aunt Karen?”

     
“I told you, I don’t have it!”

     
Calm, stay calm Vivian….. Exhale….. Inhale…. Stay calm.

     
“Look, Jean was here, and the book went missing out of her car. You took it.”

     
“No, I didn’t.” Small blue veins appeared upon Aunt Karen’s neck. “I want so bad for you to come back into the family as one of us, but I’m not so desperate to take something from you. Just say you will change back.”

     
“No! This is who I am, why can’t you accept that?”

     
“This isn’t the girl I knew!”

     
“But this is who that girl turned into. Why can’t you love me for who I am?”

     
“I do!”

     
“No you don’t! I read your stinking letters, and all of them are about changing, and I will not change. Accept me for who I am!”

     
Aunt Karen bowed her head, sucking in a deep breath. Minutes passed and she said nothing. "I miss my niece. She was so normal, so wonderful."

     
"I miss my family. They were so accepting, and loving. I wonder what happened."

     
"Part of their family turned into a psycho!"