Broken (21 page)

“That’s not what I said.” I frowned. “You don’t like how I see you, do you?”

His gaze snapped back to mine. “What? No, I do.”

“Me too,” Aspen and Teak agreed.

“I don’t like that
you
don’t see your role here with us, in all of this,” Cypress clarified as he crawled onto the bench seat with me, straddling my lap.

“Sometimes perspective is harder when you’re in the middle of it.” I shrugged, hating I upset them.

“But that’s your answer,” Aspen chuckled, kissing my neck again.

“Wait—huh?” I turned my head to look at him and he kissed me deeply. I moaned against his lips and reached up to hold his head to mine, but he pulled away. “I don’t get it.”

“You’re the glue, Cara. You’re the binding that holds the puzzle of us all together. Without you, we’re just men who love each other and want to be together. With you, we’re a family who can’t survive without each other. You’re the head of our family and our protector, our leader. I may be the planner, but we revolve around you. That’s why you felt something change. There’s something we want from you and we want it more than anything and we don’t know how to ask it of you.”

“I’m not the glue,” I murmured, looking to Teak.

He smiled and shook his head. “It’s not me. I’m just how we got here. We were looking for you to bind us together and make us a family. It’s you, Cara. That’s your role. Aspen’s right. We’ve known this for a while. We thought you knew.”

“I’m the glue,” I whispered, not sure how I felt about that. Cypress smiled widely and nodded. “Huh, okay, I’m—”

“Gonna need a few days with that,” they said as one.

“Brats,” I grumbled, shoving Cypress off me. He laughed as he fell to the deck, and I elbowed Aspen hard in the ribs as I pulled away. “Fine, what was it you wanted to ask me for?” They glanced amongst each other, and then next thing I knew, they were doing
Rock, Paper, Scissors
which was their typical way of figuring out who was going to break news to me or ask me something when they weren’t sure how I was going to react.

Maybe I really was the leader or glue after all now that I thought about it.

“Two out of three?” Cypress asked when he lost, but Teak and Aspen shook their heads, smiling widely. Cypress turned and offered me his hand, which I took, raising an eyebrow. Then he led me into our bedroom and kissed me before his hands started pushing up my shirt.

“No, don’t do that,” I growled, shoving him away. “Don’t act like you have to butter me up with
sex
to fucking ask me something. Just ask me. I’m not some monster you have to—”

“
I’m
nervous,” he interrupted, scrubbing his hands over his head. “I was trying to relax. You make me feel safe and loved. I don’t know how to ask this and it’s important to us. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to act like the only way you say
yes
to things is if I go down on you. That’s crass and not true. It relaxes
me
to please you. I’m just trying to take the pressure off—”

“Come here,” I sighed, realizing if he kept rambling he was going to pass out from hyperventilating. I held out my hands to him and jumped up on the bed. He crawled up there with me, and I moved so he was lying behind me, pressed tightly against me. “There, now you’re not looking at me. Just whisper it in my ear, Cypress. I can’t think there’s much I have said
no
to you guys, so just tell me, and I might ask some questions, but if it’s something you really want, we’ll discuss it at least. I promise you that.”

Whatever it was, he was hard as rock just thinking about it.

He nodded, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Then he pressed his lips to my ear. “We want to take you all at once; anal, oral, and vaginal. All of us joined inside our one Cara, the one woman we love more than any woman in the world and we will spend the rest of our lives loving forever, our glue that holds our family together. We want to have a joint consummation ceremony and pledge ourselves to you always.”

“Oh,” I breathed, never having seen that was what they wanted in a million years. And no idea what to say to him about it.

Shockingly enough—at least to me—I agreed to it. That was how I ended up sitting, or squirming really, out on the deck four days later while the three of them bickered in the kitchen…
Again
. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked back into the house and just started smacking them, every inch I could reach with only two hands and three of them even if they were right by each other.

“Forget it!” I snapped when Aspen grabbed my hand, realizing I wasn’t going to stop after a few minutes of my rampage. “This is
not
what I expected when you guys asked me to do this.”

“What did you think it would be?” He frowned, dropping my hand, sadness filling his eyes.

I hadn’t thought he’d actually ask me that, which was stupid, so I shrugged. “Rose petals and maybe a fountain or bath, I don’t know, more Lord of the Rings
pretty
elves stuff.” I gestured to the white silk robe I was wearing. “Like this.”

“Well that’s part of it,” Teak reminded me.

Wrong thing to say, buddy.
I narrowed my eyes at him and stabbed my finger in his chest. “Yes, and that’s the
only
pretty thing about this. I’ve had one of these things in my ass stretching me out for days which is
not
fun at all, and I sit on my ass for a living and type. And no one mentioned I couldn’t
eat
anything and only could have water to purify before this ceremony.”

“You wanted water or a bath,” Cypress tried softly.

I spun at him and shoved him against the fridge, getting in his face. “That means no
coffee
, Cypress. And Aspen took away my smokes. You idiots took away my only two
vices
for twenty-four hours at
once
. Are you out of your mother
fucking minds
? And all you bitches are doing in here is fighting about who shoves your cock where! Yeah, I
totally
want any of you
near
me. You guys really care about the important stuff like who gets the better place
riding me
!”

My chest was heaving so badly, and I was so close to losing my temper I was shaking. My hands long since in fists.

“Please give her a cigarette,” Cypress whispered as sweat formed on his forehead. “Elves don’t smoke, Aspen. I’m sure it doesn’t say anywhere that she can’t smoke.”

“I would agree completely now.” He cleared his throat and suddenly one appeared out of the corner of my eye with a lighter. “Sorry, honey. We should—”

“Fuck off,” I snapped and took both from him, seeing where he’d hid the pack and snatched that up before he could stop me. “Go back to fighting over who goes were.
You
guys get to eat.” I stormed back out onto the deck and slammed the door so hard I heard something snap and probably break. Then I went down the back stairs, up the hill around to the front of the house, and into my author cave. I pulled out my hammock that was put away for the winter already and started putting it back together.

“What are you doing, Cara?” Aspen whispered, kneeling next to me.

“Fucking, elves, I never hear you coming,” I grumbled as I twisted the nut with one hand and took a drag with the other. “Go away. Leave me alone. You’ve been ignoring me all fucking day. Go back to that.”

He sighed and stood, my hammock put together with the sling when I blinked. I moved it by the shelf that had the ashtray, put my pack of smokes and lighter there, and crawled in, staring out into the small woods we had at the front of the house as I made it swing.

“Please talk to us, honey,” Teak tried as he touched the sling like he was going to sit in it with me. I smacked his hand and he let go. “Why didn’t you tell us you were upset?”

“You were all so busy preparing me like some suckling pig for the slaughter,” I mumbled, not looking at them. “This is supposed to be like my wedding day, and while I get not seeing the groom, or grooms with us, it’s normally all about the bride. I don’t get
any
of this and all you’ve told me is rules. Do this, don’t do this, I can’t do this, get myself ready this way. Wow, lots of fun. And no one’s asked me what
I
want. At least at a wedding the bride has her family and friends to get ready with and hang with. I’ve had no one.

“And my
grooms
aren’t talking about being excited to spend the rest of their lives with me, oh no. It’s all about mounting their new mare or some shit. I’ve never felt so cheap and like three holes to be used in my
life
. Yeah, let’s totally do this and start our lives together. I knew I’d never be a bridezilla, but there were a few things I wanted at least, I always pictured.”

“I thought you and I were going to have a human wedding for your family and legalities soon,” Cypress hedged as he moved in front of me.

“That’s how you ask me?” I whispered in horror as fat tears rolled down my cheeks. “Wow, every girl’s dream proposal. You’re just a stud to my mare here, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know what she’s saying anymore,” Teak sighed. “I don’t know anything about human weddings.”

“We saw that movie,” Aspen mumbled. “They tried on dresses and shit in the street after they got sick.”

I groaned, letting my head fall back. “
Bridesmaids
? That is
not
a real reference, Aspen. There are real places to look to find out about weddings. That’s a comedy. We don’t watch chick flicks because I don’t like many of them and I rarely like stupid humor. We all like action movies.”

“Okay, so we screwed up,” Teak sighed, sitting down next to me going the other direction so he was facing me, ignoring me when I smacked him away. “We assumed you knew when we asked you to consummate our love in
our
way, we would do it the human way too. Cypress was the boyfriend to your parents
and
he officially asked for all of us so he would be the one in public. Then we would do something small here with you and me and then you and Aspen, however you wanted it.”

“You want to have a real wedding with me?” I asked Cypress. “The church, the dress, everything?”

“Of course I do, my Cara,” he whispered as he leaned over and rested his head on my lap. “I love you. If that is your custom, then yes, I will gladly be your husband to the world. I would be
honored
. We simply all know that the three of us are in reality.”

“I didn’t know I got that too with today,” I muttered, taking another drag. I was starting to worry they were going to make me stop smoking now that I was calming down, and I still needed it. Hell, it might
be
the reason I was calming down. “You guys keep acting like nothing matters besides how you mount me and who’s where that I thought that was it. After we do this, then we’re done.”

“We’re nervous, honey,” Aspen sighed, leaning over and kissing my forehead and playing with my hair. “We’re nervous
for
you. We’ll be happy no matter who is where. We’re arguing what will be more comfortable for
you
. That’s what we’ve been bickering about.”

“Idiots. You should have asked.” I rolled my eyes as I stared up at him. “You’re in front. Teak, you’re bottom. Cypress, behind. That way no one gets overly excited or overly intense and accidently tears the uncharted territory when we’ve got so much going on at once and I’m
gagged
.”

“Told you both we should have asked her,” Teak practically sang as he pumped his fist in the air.

“What else would you have wanted for our special day?” Aspen asked, still playing with my hair. I nibbled my lower lip. “We won’t laugh. Please tell us.”

“The cake. Wedding cake is the best. I always told my mom I would never care about much more than my dress, the flowers, and the cake. I hate gaudy dresses, I’m allergic to so many flowers that I
have
to be picky, and nothing’s worse than bad wedding cake. Once you know more about weddings you’ll see I’m truly easy if that’s all I’ll be a brat about.”

“Maybe your men didn’t want to show you certain things until after when you weren’t supposed to eat beforehand,” Cypress hinted as his hand moved under my robe. I shivered and he smiled. “I still can’t believe you feel that. One day I’d like to know why.”

“I asked the elder,” Aspen muttered. “He said some humans who are severely susceptible to stress are equally receptive to its removal. Plus, it can just be that she’s in tune with us and more open than most humans.”

“I kinda like both answers,” Teak chuckled.

I waved them both off and focused on Cypress. “Did you really get me a cake?”

“Depends if you’ll really marry us,” he whispered, his eyes full of hope. “I can’t wonder the rest of our lives if you married us for the cake.”

“Are you marrying me because you want to get in my ass?” I countered as he helped me off the hammock.