BUCKED Box Set: A Bull Rider Western Romance (39 page)

If anyone, I was sure that Stacy would
understand.

So, after complaining about one another’s
summer, I said to her, “Hey, I have a question for you. I need some advice.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she answered
in a disarming fashion. “Focusing on someone else’s problems is so much
preferred to my own.” She laughed slightly before admitting flat out, “I feel
like I’m drowning in them…My own, I mean. I just can’t get away from them. Both
my parents keep pushing me out of their house, so that they can spend time with
their real families and even when they aren’t making me feel terrible for
existing, they are trying to get dirt on the other one.” She sighed in a
frazzled manner. “And they’re supposed to be the adults?” She stopped short
before she added, “God, I’m sorry. It’s just all been boiling up inside of me.”

“No, I get it,” I answered. “And I’m
sorry. That sucks.”

“Majorly…” She groaned again before she
answered, “But…enough about me. What is going on with your crazy family, my
friend?”

“Well,” I explained, not really wanting to
admit that this was an entirely family affair, “my family is…Basically just
like I thought they would be. They are crazy and not in the good way, but I
think my stepmom tries…” I shrugged, for my own benefit, before I added, “It
doesn’t work, but I guess that’s better than washing her hands of me.”

“Trust me,” Stacy chimed in, “any attempt
is better than nothing. I’m lucky if my stepmother even looks at me without
turning up her nose like I am something the cat dragged in...Or cats…if you
want to get technical.” She chuckled humorlessly before she paused to let me
speak.

“I’m sorry,” I answered, not sure what
else to say.

“Everyone has problems, what are you gonna
do?” she answered and I could tell from knowing her for as long as I did that
she was now shrugging too.

I smiled sympathetically, once again
realizing that there was really no way for her to know what I was doing.
Although, it made me feel better.

“So, what is going on with you?” she asked
after a pause. In that timeframe, I wondered whether or not I really wanted to
tell her what was going on; after all, it was a little strange. Still, since I
had purposefully called her for advice, I figured it would be best to continue
on with my explanation.

“Well,” I said carefully, “I met a guy.” I
was purposefully trying to keep that part as vague as possible. “And I really
like him, but I don’t want to at all.”

“Why?” she asked. I knew that she was
trying to understand the situation, but when she added, “It’s not weird, like
he’s your stepbrother or anything right?” I wanted to throw up.

The only thing that saved us from the
awkward silence and my house of cards falling to the ground, before the
foundation was even partially complete, was Stacy’s shrill laugh.

By the time the noise stopped, I was able
to accurately assure, “No. It’s some new beach guy that I met while trying to
get away from my family. He’s hot and he can be funny. Very manly…” I sighed,
hoping that the worst was over and I could be honest now.

“Okay…” she began, “So, I’m not getting a
reason why you can’t be with him…You kind of broke up with your boyfriend here
already.”

I nodded and chose my words carefully.
“Yeah…I know, but he’s a little…abrasive?”

“Did he hit you?” she demanded with alarm.

“No!” I exclaimed, trying my best to keep
the story straight. “He didn’t do anything like that, but he’s controlling and
I just…I shouldn’t be with him.”

“So, then there’s your answer,” she
responded quickly. “That isn’t something that is going to change.”

“No…” I admitted, but then felt slightly
silly for what I said next. “Although…I kind of…like it? I can’t help being
attracted to him and even though I want to kill him more often than I want to
do anything else, when we are together and he is not being a total asshole, it
is like nothing I have ever felt before.”
Plus,
you know, he is my stepbrother…
I thought to myself, but physically shook
the thought out of my head. I knew that there was no way I should be thinking
about that part of this problem, since I had no intention of revealing it
anyway.

“Is it just a summer fling?” she asked
after carefully considering what I had said, “or do you want it to be more?”

“I don’t want it to be anything!” I
answered adamantly, even though I wasn’t completely sure that this was true.

“Well, then don’t,” she answered quickly.
“Look, if there is something about him that makes you not want to be with him,
then it is probably for good reason. You can’t just pretend that everything is
okay. You have to make everything okay.”

“But, what if I’m too weak to resist? He
is a master of manipulation and for as much as he can be an ass, he is also
really sweet.”

“When he wants something, right?”

I didn’t say anything, which was basically
like agreeing with her, at least in Stacy’s mind.

“Remember, everyone has the capabilities
to be nice, until you tell him no,” she said. “You need to find a man who is
good for you, no matter what. You need to break whatever hold this guy has over
you and make sure that it stays broken. I don’t know much about the situation,
but I think that you really need to do what is right for you. I don’t think
that you should be going around doing everything for him, especially if you
don’t feel fulfilled in the relationship, whatever that might be.
You
need to take control of your life. You can’t allow anyone, but especially not a
man, to live it for you.”

I thought about this and realized that she
was completely right. I knew that he was controlling my life, but I needed to
figure out how to make it stop. “How do I get him to leave me alone?” I asked
her, realizing that she was inspiring about what she had said so far.

“You just have to push him away. He needs
to know that you don’t want him dictating your life.”

I laughed, thinking of how amused Tyler
would be to hear her say that to him before I answered, “It isn’t like he is
the most understanding person…”

“Then you make him understand!” She had a
shrill fire in her voice that I had not heard in a long time. I suddenly had
the feeling that this conversation wasn’t just helping. “You have to show him
who’s boss. If you really think that something isn’t right between the two of
you, then you need to figure out how to tell him in a way that he cannot help
but understand.” She paused for a moment before she answered, “It is the only
way, Ashley. It might not feel so good to hurt his feelings, or do whatever it
is that you know you have to do, but in the end, you both will be better for
it.”

I thought about this for a long moment. I
even tried to argue. After all, I was trying to think of any way I possibly
could to warrant staying with him, but I couldn’t deny that her advice made
sense and it got me feeling more confidently about my situation.

“You cannot surround yourself with
negativity outside of your family,” Stacy went on. “There are enough problems
between you and your dad. You don’t need to complicate things by inviting
negativity into your social life as well. Just because you are back home for
the summer doesn’t mean that you are the same girl you were when you left for
college; you have got to understand that.”

“Yes,” I answered, feeling even more confident.
“I do understand that, Stacy…” Then, I heard a noise as if someone was making
their way toward my room. “Hey, listen, Stacy…Thanks for the advice, but I have
got to go.”

“Sure, any time,” she answered genuinely.

“Good luck with your situation,” I added
before we said our goodbyes.

I had always felt bad for Stacy. Even
though I had a similar issue with my father, at least I knew that my father
loved me. Some days, which after hearing the story, I couldn’t blame Stacy for,
she felt like neither of her parents even wanted her. It was such a shame too,
because Stacy was always such a nice person.

However, even though I felt bad that
things hadn’t changed for her, I felt rejuvenated, in a way. I might not be
completely sure what I was going to do about this new feeling that I had
coursing through my body, but I was fairly certain that whatever I wanted to do
with it, I was going to feel so much better once I did it.

Chapter
32

Tyler

What
the fuck is wrong with me?
I thought with ire as I watched the
blond woman saunter away from me. I could picture her perfectly toned body
lying across a hotel room bed, while I took in her sweet aroma and screwed her
blind, but I couldn’t believe what I had just done.

I had just let this delectable, available
and interested piece of ass waltz right out of my world.

After she turned the corner, I looked down
at my hands and clamped them into fists. I felt like punching something and so,
I made my way down to the area of the gym that had the proper equipment for me
to pummel something without being arrested.

When I made it down to where the punching
bags were hanging, along with a full boxing ring, I went off by myself and
began to beat the shit out of a punching bag. As I punched and kicked it
diligently, it kept just coming back for more and so, I gave it to the bag.

This was usually a good way to work out my
anger, but today, no matter how hard I came at the bag, it was still just
hanging there. It took no skill and my strength was just absorbed. I couldn’t
see the bruises and I couldn’t watch it weaken.

No matter what, I would eventually grow
tired and when I did, this stupid bag would win because I would be the one to
walk away from it.

I had never thought about it like that
before, but once I did, it only made me angrier.

Finally, I huffed a sigh and sagged
against the bag. I could feel the sweat dripping off of my body and splattering
onto the mat where my feet were, until a moment ago, constantly moving.

Then, as one more burst of fury ran
through my body like a shot of lightning, I screamed, “Fuck!” at the top of my
lungs, turned around and shot the bag with one large blow before I sagged
against it again.

“Looks like you’ve had a rough day,” I
heard a voice say over the sound of my own loud breaths.

Seeing the man, I panted quickly, “Mind
your own fucking business.”

He laughed and answered, “Why don’t you
fight a real man, instead of that pussy bag?”

At first I waved him off, knowing for
certain that I shouldn’t give in to such childish prompting. I wasn’t scared of
the man, but I did fear what I might do if I really was to fight him.

After all, my goal was to have knocked the
damn bag off of its fucking chains and not being able to do that had only made
me angrier. I knew that it wasn’t good to fight while angry, for there was
nothing to keep you in check. Rage did mix well with fist fighting; especially
when I wasn’t going into the fight with the intention to kill my opponent.

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be some
bigshot? A real tough guy?” The man asked, making his way closer to me.

“What’s it to you who the hell I am? Like
I said, it’s none of your business who I am or the day that I’ve had, so leave
me the fuck alone.”

Again, the man barked a laugh. He was one
of those short, quick son of a bitches that probably fought dirty. I wasn’t
scared of him at all. I just didn’t want to kill him. I had already gotten off
the hook for one murder, I didn’t want to have to worry about it again. And
with the day I was having, I knew that if I threw the first punch, I might not
be able to stop and that would only be because I had to show myself, as well as
everyone else that I was still a man who was in complete control.

“All right, pussy. If you’re scared to
fight me, then that’s fine,” he shrugged and moved to turn away, but my sharp
laugh caused him to turn back around.

“Yeah, I’m scared alright,” I answered,
“I’m fucking terrified that if I hit you, I’ll kill you before I get all of my
anger out. You look like a one punch kind of guy…even in the shape I’m in.”

The weaseled man’s eyes narrowed as his
thin lips coiled into a smile, as though he was accepting a challenge. “Prove
it, fuck-face.”

I shrugged and strutted my way to the
boxing ring, then waited to see if he wanted to get any of the safety
equipment. There was no one around, so we would be able to get away with not
using it. The only reason I wanted to use anything to soften the blows was so
that I wouldn’t kill him, but I certainly wasn’t going to run the risk of
looking like a little bitch in order to save his pasty ass.

So, I hopped up into the ring.

The man looked around, almost nervously
for a moment, as though he had ultimately expected me to walk away, before he
moved over to the ring and slithered inside.

Looking at him while he took his stance, I
almost felt bad for him. He was so scrawny. Speed was nothing if a well-placed
punch threw him to the ground within a moment.