Burned (Beautiful Mess) (6 page)

“Well, the history paper I told you about?” I said proudly. “I got an A on it.”

“Right,” he said. My Dad didn’t have much interest in history. I got that from my Mom. If I knew things would get tough, I would major in something more practical like Engineering or IT. I had been saving and secretly working at the student bookstore. So I could get my Dad on his birthday that hunting rifle he always wanted with my own money. He had suddenly gotten weaker and stopped hunting and fishing since he got diagnosed. I needed to be strong for him and get him back to the things he was passionate about.

“And I met this guy…” I tried to say something that would cheer him up. But darn, this was too early. I shouldn’t tell him about my dates yet.

“Really? Is he nice? Is he protective?” Excitement busted out of his voice. “Does he make you happy?”

“Dad, I said I met a guy.” Oh gosh, I am digging my own grave. “We are still getting to know each other.”

“Getting to know each other?” I heard my Dad chuckled. “When I first met your mother in high school, she dropped her food tray in the cafeteria. People were laughing at her and I went to help her. She looked at me and big watery tear dropped from her face. I thought to myself ‘she’s the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, and she will never cry again as long as I am around’. I didn’t need to know more than that.”

“Yeah, Dad, I have heard that story a thousand times now,” I pulled my hair. “I have yet to drop my food tray in the cafeteria.”

“You are my daughter,” he said proudly. “You have Daddy’s reflexes.” He laughed.

I laughed with him. It had been a while we laughed so heartily together. I needed that. We both needed that.

“So,” my Dad was still laughing. “If this guy is nice, bring him home. I want to make sure my little girl will be well taken care of.” I was his only child and I was born when my Dad was almost 40. He was always watching over me, like I was his most precious gift. 

“Dad, stop worrying about me. I can take care of myself,” I said. My Dad was old fashioned. But I could understand where he was coming from. He had taken good care of our family just like he believed how a man should.

“I will stop worrying after I talk to him,” my Dad babbled.

“Okay, Dad. I don’t have a ‘him’ yet. I will let you know okay?” I sighed gently.

“Okay, cookie jar,” he said.

I heard disappointment in his voice. It made my heart shrink.  I hated to make him disappointed. Especially the time I had with him was slipping away by the second. I just want him to stop worrying and smile. 

“I will let you go do your work,” my Dad said, filling the silence. The conversation was making me feel suffocated. So many words I wanted to say to him. So much feeling I needed to keep to myself. “Talk to you later, okay?” Dad’s voice was kind and caring like it always was.

“Okay,” I nodded against the phone. “I love you, Dad,” I said. Every time I said “I love you” to my Dad I feared it would be the last time.  My voice was shaking again.

“Love you, cookie jar.”

I hung up the phone quickly. I didn’t want to leak out any more shaky sound. I felt like a messy starching paper all twisted and racked into a tight ball.

Exhausted, I lay down on the bed and check my phone. No calls from Ethan still. The moments I spent with him drifted into my mind again. When I was with him, it was like I was in a different world. It was a world that everything went around him, like the planets went around the Sun. The colors around him were more vivid. It was like he brought the sunlight with his charming presence. I wanted to feel his warmth so badly when my thoughts of my Dad’s illness chilled me inside out.

Would Dad be happy to see someone like Ethan? I pictured taking Ethan with me to meet my parents. He would be the handsome gentleman he ever was, well spoken and dressed in style. He would introduce himself as an educated law school student, which Dad would be glad to hear since he always thought education was important. Gosh, I could already see a smile on my Dad’s face.

If only things could be this good. Right now, Ethan was still a stranger. If only we could spend more time together…

Then it hit me. Why should I wait for him to call me? I would just call him. Today I ruled the dating rules.

I checked the time. It was about 7:00 pm. It was not too late to call him.

I opened the refrigerator and pull myself a glass of lemon juice. I read an article written by professional singers that lemon juice could smooth your voice. I sat on my study chair and sipped on it. Hesitantly, I dialed Ethan’s number.

Putting the phone close to my ear, my heart was beating 15 times faster than the ringtones. I just realized that Ethan and I had never talked on the phone before. I was going to hear his voice without his piercing eyes looking at me. Weird! Darn, I was like an eighty-year-old grandma trying out technology the first time. What was Ethan doing to me?

“Hello…” That’s Ethan’s voice and it sent an electric wave all the way from my ear to my toes. If aliens were adducting humans this way, I was sure they would have a lot of willing victims.

I opened my mouth to say “hello”. Wait, that’s his voicemail.

“This is Ethan Lancaster. Sorry I’m unable to answer your phone right now. Please leave your name and phone number and I shall return your call promptly.”

Ah, he sounded so professional. He was only a first year law student and already sounded like a sophisticated lawyer-from the TV shows I watched anyway.

I was daydreaming Ethan with a suit and tie when the robotic female voice startled me.

“After the tone, please leave a message,” the robot said. Couldn’t she tell I was having a moment here?

Oh
my gosh, should I hang up or leave a message? My brain was a busy hamster running the endless wheel. If I hang up, he probably wouldn’t even notice I called. If I leave a message, I might sound bad and he would think I was clingy and totally unsexy. What should I do?

Too late.
The harsh “Beeeeeee” sound came from the phone like the gunshot that signaled a race on the Olympic battlefield. And my mind sprinted out of my skull.   

“Hi, Ethan, this is Dana…” I heard myself say. I was trying to use Vicky’s “Huntress” voice but I was not even half as good. The lemon juice seemed to have kicked in, I was not sounding as harsh as I were earlier. I was too nervous and I wasn’t going to hold on to this voice much longer before I start to shake. Oh, I needed to keep this short. “I am just wondering…if you want to hangout…sometime.” I took a deep breath. “Bye!” I said it too long and the word sounded like it came out of an air-leaking balloon. “See you soon!” I quickly added.

I hang out the phone hurriedly and banged my head to the desk.

This was unacceptable. I could give a history presentation in front of a hundred of my classmates without breaking a sweat. But I got shaken down to my core leaving a voicemail to just one guy. I shouldn’t have skipped those crazy dating experience I was supposed have for a girl in high school. I should have sneaked out of my house and went to those secret parties my Dad had forbidden me to go.  Now I had the dating EQ of a fifteen-year-old. This was just great!

The ringtone of my cellphone almost knocked me off balance. Ethan’s name showed up on the screen. What? It had only been two minutes since I called him and he was already calling me back.

I swallowed a large amount of lemon juice and answered the phone. “Hello,” I nearly choked on the lemon juice.

“Hey, Dana, I just got your call,” Ethan said. His voice sounded less professional than his voicemail message. It was more playful and energetic and causing the lemon juice dancing in my stomach.

“Ethan, how are you?” I said, breathing though my mouth so I didn’t sound like I was short of air.

“Good, I’m glad you called,” Ethan said. “I was in class when you called me. I told them I have an emergency so I can come outside to call you.”

“What?” I blinked. Oh no, I called him when he was in class. That must be annoying for him. “Oh, it’s hardly an emergency. I mean, it’s not an emergency at all. I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to distract you from class.” I shook my head rapidly. It was good that Ethan couldn’t see me right now or he would think I had Epilepsy.

“No problem,” Ethan chuckled. His voice lowered and he whispered deeply and smoothly, “trust me, Dana, you are a wonderful distraction.”

That went straight to my head. I felt electrocuted from head to toe, toe to head, and head to toe again. I had no words.

“So, what’s up?” Ethan said with a hint of proudness. Clearly he knew what he was doing. And I wouldn’t mind he did it again.

“The ceiling?”
That’s exactly what I was seeing now with my head leaning back to my chair. I cracked silly joke when I was incoherent. It was a habit.

Ethan actually laughed. “I know you are smart. I didn’t know you are funny too.”

“There, you learned something about Dana Watson today,” I said, feeling the blood slowly returned to my brain. “I want to learn something about you, too.”

“Oh, really?”
Ethan sounded a little surprised. “Like what?” he said playfully. I could picture him winking at me and luring me with that delicious grin.

“Like if you can beat me at chess,” I said.

“Wow, you are daring me?” Ethan said. “You are not letting this go, aren’t you?”

“Should I?” For a second I worried that he was implying something else, such as I was chasing a guy who was clearly out of my league, but I kept my ground.

“No,” Ethan said reassuringly. “Okay, it’s on, Miss Proper. Wait…” He paused for a second like he was thinking something. “What do I get if I win?”

“That’s
if
you win, and for you to find out,” I said with a smirk. I might be inexperience with boys but I was a pro when it came to chess.

“Oh, the suspense!”
Ethan said. “I like that.”

I couldn’t help but giggle.

“How about meeting tomorrow after dinner?” Ethan asked. “I will text you where we can meet and bring my chess board.”

“Sounds good,” I said happily.

“Okay. Got to go back to class now,” Ethan said. “Don’t want to get in any more troubles.”

“Okay,” I said, a little confused by what he meant by “more” troubles. But Ethan had already hung up.

Chapter 10

I needed to make Ethan to be more specific about time. He said to meet “after dinner”. But did he realized not everyone eat dinner at the same time? To make it worst, he didn’t even say where we were going to meet.

With Vicky’s help, I had three different outfits ready for different possible locations Ethan might pick for us to play chess.

“Dating is work from both sides. Boys make effort to chase girls. Girls need to make efforts to be worth the chase as well,” Vicky said, scanning her designer wardrobe. Apparently I had become her new favorite doll. She was getting hectic putting her cloth on me. “Try this on,” she threw me a dress. “It’s perfect for spring.”

It was a green dress with white pattern on the edge. I took a closer look-it was Celtic, but one of the knots was not authentic. I did like the green color. It would match Ethan’s eyes. Oh just what the heck was I thinking? Everything was related to Ethan now.

I put the dress on and looked at the mirror. I didn’t know what kind of magic Vicky put on this dress-it made my waist looked so tiny and cute. The dress reached just above my knee-the perfect length to reveal my legs. The color went well with my brown hair and hazel eyes. Now I got a little taste of the beauty of fashion. My own dresses made me look like a grandma comparing to this.

“This dress is so for you, Dana,” Vicky grinned.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Vicky whispered and winked. “Medieval and virgin.”

“Shut up!” I turned to grab a pillow to throw at Vicky and that was where I realized the problem with this dress. Vicky was shaped to be a super model. I, however, did not have the upper body to power up the somewhat low-cut design of this dress. The space that was supposed to make out a nice curve was missing.

Vicky seemed to discover the problem as well. She was staring at my chest with a frown. “Hmm,” she crossed her arms and kept staring at it with her brows squeezed tightly together, like my breasts would get bigger if she stared long enough.

“Vicky,” I self-consciously covered my chest with my arms. “You have anything more virgin-
ish?” I tiled my head and made a funny face.

“I don’t…” Vicky’s frown deepened. “But I think I have a thing to fix it,” she smirked like she was about butcher a little lamb.

“What?” What did she mean by “fix it”? I knew Vicky was street smart but I was terrified by what backstreet method Vicky might use on me.

Vicky dug in her cabinet. “No, nope,” she put aside several strange items that I didn’t want to ask.
“Ah, there, new in the box!” She announced with the box in her hand. 

I saw a picture of a girl in her bra printing on the box. Walking closer, I saw the label
“breast enhancers”. “No way!” I took a step backward. “How do you even have something like this?” Vicky didn’t need to use this kind of stuff. Her curves were real. I was roommate long enough with her to know that, awkwardly.