Cailín (Lass) (Anam Céile Chronicles) (7 page)

I
twisted away from that place all at once feeling dim, yet unclouded; foolish,
yet released; lost, yet found. 

Or so I
did believe.

The
rest of me way home I did stagger.  Me father caught me where the wild lands
meet our pasture, seizing me firmly by the wrist, unsettling all of me sensibly
placed emotions, which then muddled collectively in their chaotic mass of
turmoil within me.

“Where
hath you been,
Cailín
?” he demanded, dragging me along at too quick a
pace so that I thought I would be dragged.

Before
I had any chance to answer, he snapped, “The whole of this day from here you
hath been absent doing God knows what!  Might you ever put a thought toward yer
family, yer duties?!”

Heaven
knows, I have not the need of this confrontation at present.  I be feeling
forlorn and foolish enough on me own without another of his scoldings.

Lowering
his voice as we came nearer to the barn, “The
tréidlia
is here, called
upon urgently to tend to this ailing sheep of yers.  Hindered him presently you
have with yer ceaseless narcissism.  We are in need of you to restrain yer
animal, so that he may perform his inspection.”

And as
we came around the corner into the dwelling, scarcely could I consider the
credibility of that which then be revealed before me eyes!  Convinced me mind be
merely mocking the oath I had resolutely made with meself scarcely moments
before, I nearly refused to believe.

Fer there
at the far end of me father’s barn, stood the actual living, breathing
embodiment of me vision, and still more divine than all the countless whiles I
had reminisced!  And not more than a few metres from me he be!  All at once, I
felt swept away by a dream-like hallucination, surreal it all be.  Me head so
light, as though it would suddenly swirl right off me body and drift away upon
the breeze.  In me chest me breath stalled, very nearly eluding me completely.

All of
a sudden, me father’s sharp tone disturbed the air, threatening to wrench me
out of this state of intoxication.  Yet, even he could not reach me at this
elevation I now soared.

“
Aislinn
! 
What be yer hindrance
cailín
?” he grumbled.  “Quit standing there gaping
as an
Eejit
, and secure yer ewe straightaway!”

Me
father’s belittlement of me in witness of
him
brought me half the way a
return to reality.  Immediately, I felt me skin inflame with heat, as all eyes
fell upon me.  ‘Twas in this disastrous moment I comprehended authentic it all
be,
he
be real, and this not be
at all
the manner in which I had
envisioned our first acquaintance.

“Quick
with you now, lass!” me father incited me impatiently.

I
ambled over to them, carefully deliberating on each step that brought me ever
nearer to
him. 
Dare to meet his eyes, I did not, still too humiliated I
be.  That, at least I did have some control over, and delay I would fer the
moment to be more idyllic. 

How peculiar,
that our first happenstance should take place such as this.  Not at all as I
had expected!

After
the most unsettling march of me life thus far, I reached them.  Then, the
thought occurred,
What if all this be fer naught?  Perhaps it not be him,
after all?  I’ll have to raise me eyes to look up at him, to be undeniably sure
. 

Me
breath ever fleeting, I inhaled deeply as I collected the necessary courage to
stare directly upon his face, now with scarcely a half metre between us, as I
held me ewe in place fer him and the
tréidlia
to examine.

And as I
raised me eyes to meet his, in that very instant, me world realised its
metamorphosis.  His presence rapidly encompassing every fibre of me being instigated
me heart to leap out of itself. 

‘Twas
not to be mistaken— he indeed be one and the same as the lad in me vision, there
right before me in the flesh!  Identical striking form, alluring slightly
curled hair, that dazzling face, enveloped in a blue radiance that again be reflected
in his tender eyes; the same sweet, shy smile . . .  Then, the realization of
him returning me gaze struck me, and he smiled back at me, me knees folding
upon themselves.

“O'er,
what be the riddle with you,
cailín
?  Pulling shenanigans are you?  Have
you been supping from the whisky flask?” me father disgraced unendingly, upon
notice of me stumble.  Grudgingly, I tugged me eyes away from
him
, and
me resolve be recovered by the quick interjection of Dr. O’Connor.  

“Aislinn,
be acquainted with Donovan.  He is the new apprentice I have of late taken on. 
Quite a promising young lad he be, possessing a great heart as well as a gentle
hand with the animals.” 

Donovan.
 

I
beamed at once at the fresh knowledge of his name, hearing it spoken fer the
first.

Donovan
. 

I
replicated the sound of it over and over again in me mind.  And I found meself
pondering the multitude of ways I might assess the gentleness of those hands.

“And
Donovan, this is Aislinn, the young MacAuliffe lass.”  His welcoming smile
directed at me once more, instantly sent me back to reeling.    

Striving
to not appear inebriated as me father had insinuated, I grinned in response, and
then became immediately alert of the ludicrous amplification it must hold. 
Dreading seeming infantile, compelled to break the awkward silence that gripped
me, I blurted out unthinkingly.  “How old you be?”

His
lips turning up at the corners, graciously he answered, “Seventeen I be, since
April.”  Relieved I be that he sounded faintly bemused.  “What of you,
Aislinn?”

The
marvel at me name resounding from his lips cast me into the illusions of me
girlish fantasy once more.  His voice, with its low and smooth quality, was
intimately comforting to me soul.  I found it rather bizarre that so familiar
to me it seemed; at once it felt as if I had listened to it all me life. 
Thankful I be fer his tactful handling of me abrupt gawky probing.  Realizing
he must wonder why I shillyshallied so, I collected me wits and endeavoured a
reply. 

“Fifteen
I be, since just the first of this month,” I humbly fibbed, fer fear of the
risk of seeming as a child to him.

However,
not a thought had I given to me father’s likely retort to me fib.  He leapt at
the chance to squelch me contrived maturity in witness of me pending suitor. 

“Do not
lie, lass!  She be only thirteen, a mere child!”  He scowled at me as I
shriveled again mortified.  I feared Donovan’s
rash disregard of me with
this knowledge, of never having the accurate prospect to fathom me fer that
which we were predestined.

I
braced meself to look back toward him, imagining his show of repugnance at me
childish antics.  Yet again to me astonishment, Donovan smiled softly, as if in
sympathy to me embarrassment.  Me adoration of him deepened in that moment,
even as moreover, I questioned whether he did think of me only as a daft child,
then.

“Appears
fifteen she does, though, does she not?” he queried warmly of the tréidlia
standing next to him.

“Indeed,
she does, Donovan,” Doctor O’Connor replied with a wink in me direction.  That
restored me to me original condition of elation, as once again me beaming from
within became visible upon me face.

 Surprisingly,
me father managed to hold his tongue through the rest of their visit, which be
over all too soon.  Long before I be ready, they were packing up their
equipment and bidding us farewell.

“Lovely
‘twas to make your acquaintance, Aislinn,” Donovan said honestly, offering me a
warm smile that melted me heart.

“Indeed
. . . ‘twas,” I stammered, fidgeting nervously.  Somehow, ‘twas all I could
think of to say, even as so many things I had dashing about in me head.

“Surely,
we’ll meet again in the near future,” he continued on with the chat to me
surprise.

“Aye.  Hopefully,
one of our sheep will require yer visit again.”  The words flew out of me mouth
afore I had a chance to come up with something witty to reply.

Sure
enough,
that
provoked me father to butt in.  “Aislinn!  Now, don’t you
go deliberately ailing our sheep in yer scheming to bring this young lad
scuttlin’ back here!” 

Never
did he miss a chance to demean me.

Still,
I did not allow his chastening to shake me glee.  Gratefully, Donovan responded
quickly, overlooking me father’s remark.   “Indeed, with a flock the size of
yours, there’ll surely be need fer a visit again soon, and look forward to it I
will.”  His sincere smile shot a beam of hope directly into me.

“Good
day, all!” called the tréidlia, trying to wrap things up so they may move
along.

Donovan
waved back in accordance and I fought meself rigidly the urge to dash up and
squeeze him. 

Instead,
somehow I managed to answer maturely, “Farewell, Dr. O’Connor, Donovan.  So
pleased I be to have met you,” surprising meself at me eloquent vernacular.

After
he left, later that day, the dreamlike happenings of that afternoon danced through
me mind over and over again.  Amazed I be at how, just when me faith be failing
me, he had come to light before me in all his beautiful radiance.  The warmth
from his smile that had penetrated me solid shell proved him to be very real. 

‘Twas
then I knew there would be no turning back; me existence had acquired a newly
dedicated significance.  I drifted to sleep reflecting upon his soothing voice,
as its echo resonated to the core of me being.

Now that
I have seen him, I cannot believe that I ever be satisfied with life as ‘twas,
to have considered the possibility of shunning the idea of love.  I cannot
fathom how I have lived this long deprived of his light in me life, fer all at
once it feels as though naught else matters!

O
ver the
subsequent years, nary a moment would go by that me thoughts were not inspired
by Donovan.  Me habitually dreaded domestic chores faded into the background as
me relentless daydreaming of him offered a pleasant diversion from the
tediousness they did affect upon me spirit.  Though still I begrudged the
constraints of those female tasks and handcrafts, at last I could tolerate them
as me musings of him dazzled me mind. 

One
day, whilst leisurely observing the sheep in the pasture— yet again immersed in
me thoughts of Donovan— me older brother, Riordan, approached to retrieve me. 
Our father be urgently in need of some goods fer the farm and we were being
sent to procure them directly. 

Welcomed
the prospect I did to escape from there fer a spell.  We harnessed up Morrissey
to our old cart and headed straightaway fer the nearby village of
Ballyvaughan.  Being we were in the midst of working when he bade us leave
immediately, no time had I to see to tidy meself properly.

Shortly
after we arrived in the village in our cart, we were walking toward the
mercantile just as Donovan be coming out.  The splendid sentiments flashing
through me at seeing him once again were virtually instantly displaced with
indignity at me bedraggled appearance.  The disgrace I felt seeped into the
abysmal pit of me belly, engulfing me in its queasiness.  I felt me smile fade
away as I sulked.

As of
yet, each time we have met, me appearance has been such the frightful manner
that surprised I be that he does not turn the other direction and bolt! 
Whatever must he think of me?  Here I be adorned in rags the colour of the rind
of a potatoe, me hair most unkempt, and grinning from beneath a dirtied face! 
More than likely he dismisses me as a mere
cailín feirme
, to whom
he is obligated to show politeness due to his association to us.

And still,
he be friendly and polite as ever.  Me brother he did address first. “Good day,
Riordan!  Too long a time ‘tis been not seein’ you!   How be you?”

What’
‘tis this?!  Me brother knows him?  I shall persuade him to tell me every
single detail he knows about him!