Catching Preeya (Paradise South Book 3) (34 page)

And if they couldn’t agree on this…then what of everything else?
So the tie goes to me.
When it comes to this child, the tie goes to
me.

Because, again, the mother knows, she’s most connected—she has the spiritually fused bond. The mom’s instinct trumps all.

How the hell would you know that, Preeya?

Her heart fell to the floor.

She wouldn’t know.

Shit, she wouldn’t have a clue about the connection between a mother and a child.

What does your heart say, Pree? Follow
that.

Follow her heart? Her heart told her that…
Ben is wonderful
. A wonderful man, friend, partner. He’d be a wonderful father.

He was everything she’d ever wanted, without even knowing it. And thank God she had his love. It made her happy, whole, better, purposed, sated. His love—their love—was different than any she’d experienced before, with any person before. Ben had jumped in with two feet, ecstatic about getting married, growing their love, sharing their lives together—

Sharing
their lives together…

*

Oh, no.

She ran up the stairs and down the hallway—and stubbed her toe on the doorjamb upon entering the bedroom.

The empty bedroom.

Winded, she sat on the edge of the bed.

She heard the shower running.

She swallowed hard and went to the bathroom door. She moved her hand up to knock but stopped herself. In a whisper, “Ben.” Tears welled but dried up before one could hit her cheek. “I understand.”

Her head shook side to side with relentless fury. She backed away from the door and when the backs of her knees hit the bed frame, she surrendered to the mattress, letting her body fall back, sprawl out—exhausted. She reached for her pillow and stuffed it underneath her head. “I do understand, Ben,” she whispered. “I get
us
.”

She stared at the door, listened to the spray of the shower and the clinking of the pipes from the hot water heater’s effort. She’d wait for him to come out of the bathroom. She’d tell him. Her heart still pounded in her ears and now in her temples, too. Yeah, she needed to clear the air. Her thoughts revolved around and around, anxious for the chance to make things right with Ben. And as her mind whirled, her eyelids sank under her heart’s weight. So heavy. And though she fought it, sleep overtook her.

CHAPTER 52

T
he doorbell rang
in
rapid-fire
succession, as if it were a final attempt.

She sat up and searched for the time through her
sleep-laden
eyes.
Noon.
Her eyes went wide.

“Ben?”

Of course he wasn’t there—he would’ve answered the front door if he were home. And his car keys weren’t on the dresser. He’d let her sleep? So no crib buying today? But he’d gone without a word. She grabbed her phone from the nightstand and looked at the screen. No text, either.

The doorbell’s chime filled her ears again. So, not the final attempt then?

She lumbered down the stairs while straightening her ponytail. “Coming!”

She peered through the peephole—Gigi. She flipped the lock then reached for the door handle and drew it open a crack while hiding from the sunlight which threatened a slap to her deserving, unmade face.

“I mean, really!” Gigi rolled her eyes then kissed Preeya’s cheek and slid, or rather maneuvered, past Preeya, their two round, pregnant bellies bumping each other.

Preeya closed the door and followed Gigi to the couch. “How are you feeling, Geej?”

“Feeling? Panicked, thank you very much.” Gigi threw herself onto the sofa like she’d run a marathon. “You didn’t answer my calls or texts. God, Pree, like I need déjà vu from the
Josh
night. I’m pregnant, too, you know. And it’s not like I have only
you
to worry about now.” Gigi motioned at Preeya’s midsection. Then her own. “And the doorbell, even your
next-door
neighbors heard the darn thing.” Gigi glared at Preeya for a moment, expecting something—a reaction, for her to catch on. “Pree—crib shopping? Three hours ago? You were supposed to pick me up. But if not, maybe a
heads-up
?”

Right, crib shopping…
with Gigi.
“Sorry, Geej! I was…sleeping.”
True, in summary.
“Dozed off, didn’t even hear Ben leave.” She flicked her eyes toward her phone. “Speaking of Ben, did you try his phone?”

“Yeah—no. Just short of calling my dad to check the scanners for any car accidents, though. Anyway, I took some deep breaths and decided to drive here instead.”

“Geej, really, I’m sorry. This time…I kind of, well…Ben and I…” She didn’t want to discuss their
not-quite
-
a-fight
fight
, especially not with Gigi—the subject of the thing—not until Preeya smoothed things over with Ben. “We needed extra sleep, I guess. I think he got an early phone call that woke him, and I don’t really sleep well when he’s not lying next—”
Shit.
Preeya grinned and lowered her eyes to the right. Single Gigi—nearly married Preeya.
Constant tiptoeing all
around.

Gigi sighed and rolled her eyes. “It’s cool, Pree. Stop filtering for me—the singlehood stuff. I’m, you know, doing okay with it.” She squeezed Preeya’s wrist. “Hey, I have all the autonomy here—I can make all the calls for this little one. No compromising or negotiating or settling. Yeah, I’m starting to see the silver lining, for sure.”

“That’s awesome, Geej.”
Compromise.
Her own deeper lesson for the day. And while she liked that Gigi had found the positive in her situation, Preeya wouldn’t trade Ben—and all the required compromise and negotiation—for anything in the world.

Gigi reached over and slapped her hand. “Another perk? Shaving my legs…
so
out the window. I’ve got no man to say a damn thing about it.” Gigi laughed.

“Too cold to waste the fur, anyway.” Preeya winked then tilted her head with a knowing smile. Gigi was trying so hard. “And also, you don’t have to worry about keeping anyone awake…with all the tossing and turning through the night!”

Gigi winked back then nodded. “Exactly.” Gigi sighed into a genuine yet stoic smile. “Hey, and I’ve got you, the best support system a girl could hope for…except when you stand my
wide-ass
up.” Gigi pursed her lips. “Still better than some useless swinging dick.”

Preeya smirked. “Totally.” Then she sank into the couch. Her
swinging dick
, her Ben—angry, hurt…and always so good to her. Staying up late every night massaging her aches, tending her tensions—
God, did he tend her tensions
. And playing the human pillow so she slept through the night. Her heart splayed thin across her chest.

She wanted to vent to Gigi. But no,
not happening
. Despite Gigi’s attempt at a positive outlook, Preeya couldn’t. She’d cried to her last week in the car about her fears and worries and blathered on about the marriage license and—no more. Gigi didn’t need to hear any more of any of it, no matter what her friend said about “filtering.”

“Geej, I’m here for you, no doubt.” She took Gigi’s hand. “Hey, how have you been sleeping?”

“Haven’t been, but I’ve kept myself busy. I even found a project.”

Preeya’s phone pinged—a text. Maybe Ben? “Let me get this, Geej. Your project, I want to hear more about it in just a second, okay?”

Gigi nodded and grinned. “Second place takes some getting used to, is all,” Gigi teased in an unconvincing tone.

Preeya lifted a brow then waddled around the sofa toward the corner armchair for some privacy. “Hey, I got your favorite cookies yesterday,” she said over her shoulder. “The ones with the mint filling. In the pantry.”

*

Sylvia, not Ben.
Checking in, sweetie.

She sighed. This wasn’t like Ben. To leave, vanish. Without a word.

Damn it.
Her heart rebounded under her ribs, fast and fierce. Could he be more insensitive? Her chest tightened. Like it used to when alone, even with Gigi in the very next room.

Breathe and just call
him.

She hit his speed dial, but hung up the next second. If she tried to speak, she’d burst out sobbing. She’d never told him the entire story about that day, the day her mother left, but he knew the gist.
He knew the goddamn gist.
Fury filled her airway, and she coughed to clear the knot of rage.

“You okay? Need some water, Pree?” Gigi called from the kitchen.

“No, I’m good, thanks.” She swallowed and inhaled through her nose then cleared her throat again.
Text.
Send a text and defer the conversation while Gigi’s here. She couldn’t let Gigi in, not on this one. Not on this one.

Where are
you?

She hit Send and waited, thumb
tap-tapping
the screen.

Five beats passed until,
Ping.

At the office. Didn’t want to wake
you.

She grimaced and heaved a breath.
No note? And when will you be
back?

Left note on the coffee maker. Will be home for dinner. Let’s talk then ;-)

She let air infiltrate her lungs. Her shoulders eased down as her next breath seeped out. They’ll talk and all will be fine.

*

Preeya returned to the sofa after snagging the note from the kitchen. With the box of chocolate mint cookies ripped open on the coffee table, Gigi beamed from the couch with remnant crumbs at the corner of her upturned mouth. “Cleopatra” had a cookie in one hand while reaching for another. Preeya smiled and winked at her. She was glad her best friend was there with her.

“Good cookies?”

“The best. You’re the best,” Gigi said through a second mouthful, then laughed, crumbs spewing onto Gigi’s lap.

Preeya cracked up, too, then Gigi’s phone bleeped.

Gigi glance at her screen. “Oh my goodness!”

“What? What is it?”

“My dad. He got me a stroller—the super deluxe you told me about. He texted a picture. Look!” Gigi rocked her body to upright but couldn’t bring herself to stand, and since Preeya had already surrendered back into the cushions…. They laughed and Gigi just held the tiny phone screen up in the air to show Preeya from afar.

Preeya squinted. “Well, I remember it, anyway. Awesome, Geej. You can take the baby running around Green Lake.”

“Yes, yes, I can.” Gigi looked pleased, positive. Then her friend’s eyes sank a bit and she took another big bite of cookie. “I’ll have enough extra weight to run off, too.” More crumbs sifted off her mouth.

“Please. Our jobs now are to feed these babies!” Preeya wagged her finger then pointed to a cookie. “Throw me one.” She caught it midair, smiled, then bit. “So…” mouth full, “the project…tell me everything.”

“Oh, yeah!” Gigi sat up straighter on the couch, excited, prepping the buildup
Gigi-style
. But then she paused and tilted her head with narrowed eyes. “Ben’s still sleeping?”

“Uh, no. He…decided to get work done at the office when he found me so deep asleep.”

Gigi nodded, seemingly relieved. “Oh, okay…well, anyway,” she said, tucking a leg under her, “I started working on a family tree for my little…offspring here.” Gigi rubbed her belly and before Preeya could respond with anything more than a nod and a smile, “And I wanna do yours, too! For my godbaby!”

Preeya blinked and gave Gigi a
close-lipped
grin. Oh God, would Preeya break her heart when…
if
she recanted the godmother title. She couldn’t bear to think about it. “Sounds…terrific!”

“Yeah, it’s so fun, Pree, and a great distraction for me. But more importantly, it’ll be great for the kids to know their histories.” Gigi’s face froze with glee—for effect.

“Wow, Geej.” She was excited to see Gigi genuinely pumped about something. “That’s awesome. I love it.”

“I was going to surprise you, but, you know, there’s some information I need…so I can finish the online genealogy questionnaire.”

More
information.

Her
family.

Preeya licked her bottom lip then smacked both lips together. Her genealogical tree would be half a tree. Her father hated talking or thinking about her mother. And Preeya steered clear of
Jenny Patel
, too.

“We can do the questionnaire now, on your laptop if you want? Since there’s no crib shopping…”

“Geej.” She looked down at her hands and swallowed. Gigi meant well but, God, she just didn’t want to—

“I know what you’re thinking.” Gigi giggled and slapped her own thigh. “Not like clairvoyant
I-know
-
what-you
’
re-thinking
, of course…but I know…that your mother’s a bad topic. But, you know, confronting your fears…it can only heal, mend. And, Pree, knowing where you come from on
both
sides, and seeing, factually visualizing, that you are your own individual person…that’s truly cathartic.”

It made sense. But Preeya’s turning stomach disagreed. The logic didn’t matter. The thought, alone, felt bad. She burped and swallowed a flash of hot acid.

“More heartburn? You want some tea?”

“No, Geej. I, uh, I’m just not sure I want to think about my mom, with my mood affecting the baby so directly.” She knew Gigi would understand that—Gigi was the one who taught her those things.

“Right, of course. It’s just…buried deeper, Pree, are more negative memories and associations with your mom. They need to be addressed.”

“You’ve seen something, sensed something? Is something wrong, you know, with—”

“No! No, no. Not at all. It’s just”—Gigi rocked and shifted to her feet, then came over and sat next to Preeya—“I spoke to Ben. The other day when we had that bawling session in the car…and he mentioned…that you’d been having nightmares.”

“I haven’t. I haven’t at all.” She should be happy that her best friend and fiancé were connecting, talking, assumedly about her welfare, but…she wasn’t happy. She felt like an untrusted child.

“Not consciously…in your sleep. He said you scream and yell every night. About your mother.”

Preeya couldn’t catch a breath. She didn’t remember any of her dreams…or rather,
supposed
nightmares
. Why wouldn’t Ben tell her, wake her, mention it?

“I’ll be right back.” Preeya scurried through the kitchen to the powder bath. Unsure if she needed to vomit or cry or just splash
ice-cold
water on her heated cheeks, but she knew she needed to be alone.

*

Gigi had eaten half the box of chocolate mint rounds by the time Preeya returned from the powder room.

“I think it’s a good idea, Geej.”

“What? What is?”

“Let’s do the family tree. My mother’s side included. I know where she was born and I know her maiden name. That’s about all—I’d never met her parents. Can’t ask my dad because, well…doesn’t matter. Anyway”—she fell into the sofa next to Gigi and took her hand—“I was thinking…I want to dig a little deeper, and maybe with
your
dad’s help, we can locate her. Find her. I want to find my mom. My dad would hate the idea. But, Geej, I think—and feel—that you’re right. I have negativity buried and I want to be done with it. For the baby, and for me and for Ben, I want to be done with it, with
her
.”