Christmas at Harmony Hill (10 page)

She could believe Heather was that. God’s plan. But what of Brother Kenton? He was a covenanted Believer. She was a covenanted Believer. Sometimes she paused in her sewing when such thoughts assaulted her and stared at the fire, but she found no answer in the flames.

H
eather was glad of the hand sewing to keep her busy as she sat in front of the fire with Aunt Sophrena. That’s how she thought of her, even though when she spoke her name aloud she said Sister Sophrena. In her mind she was aunt. Family. Heather needed family.

Sometimes an hour would go by without a word passing between them, but it was a comfortable silence. A necessary silence. The Shakers valued silence. While at first such silence had felt odd to Heather, as the days passed she began to be glad of the silent time that allowed her the privacy of thought. Sophrena didn’t push Heather for words simply for the sake of dispelling the silence. Nor did she offer her own words. Often as she sat beside Heather and worked her needle through the cloth of whatever garment she held in her lap, she looked to be occupied with thoughts that were troubling, but she never spoke them aloud. Heather had no idea what could be burdening her aunt’s heart, but she knew very well why her own heart was weighted down.

News of happenings out in the world did find its way to the Shaker village. Not particular news of Gideon, but general news of
the war. General Sherman was marching on through the Southern states of Georgia and South Carolina toward the sea, but instead of pursuing him, the Confederate General Hood was moving his army to the northwest to challenge the Union forces in Nashville. Even though there was no news of fighting as yet, a battle was clearly in the offing.

The Shaker doctor carried that report to her. He was not like the other Shaker men who often hurried past the cabin with their eyes averted, as though worried they might catch a glimpse of her through a window or open door. The doctor, on the other hand, had a ready smile and no reluctance to take measure of the growth of the baby within her.

Brother Kenton, as he told her to call him, came by the cabin every day. Sometimes he came alone, which seemed to cause Sophrena great unease as if it was wrong for him to be there. After all, the Shakers did take great care to keep the men and women apart.

Sophrena had explained that was the reason for the two stairways in the Trustees’ House. “As there are in every house where both brothers and sisters might have need to climb to an upper story.”

Heather remembered Sister Muriel’s quick removal of Heather’s hand from the railing in that house. “But what could it hurt for the men and women to use the same stairs? Wouldn’t that be simpler?” Sophrena had told her of the Shakers’ desire for a simple life.

“Oh, nay, the simpler way is to keep away temptations of the flesh,” Sophrena said. “The Ministry has determined such temptations can best be avoided by keeping the brothers and sisters from sharing the same space where there might be the chance of touching.”

“But don’t you dance?”

“Yea, we do indeed.” Sophrena smiled over at Heather before looking back at her sewing. “But not as you must be imagining. Not as people of the world dance. Our dances are labors of love for the Lord above. We march in lines and circles and at times shake and whirl as the spirit falls upon us.”

“But not together?” Heather was trying to picture such a dance.

“Yea, together in unity of movement and spirit.” She looked over at Heather again. “But not by clinging to one another and inviting wrong thoughts into our minds instead of worshipful ones. If you want, you can come to meeting and see for yourself.”

“That might be good,” Heather said.

“Yea, you will see.” Sophrena paused her needle and stared toward the fire before she added, “It is a good way.”

Heather wasn’t sure which of them she was trying most to convince—Heather or herself. Heather could not imagine ever being convinced of the need for such separation. Hadn’t she lived among whole divisions of soldiers? She’d touched them many times when they brought their uniforms to her or when she helped care for the wounded after a battle without ever once feeling the temptation of the flesh that she felt simply looking into Gideon’s eyes. That was the way the Lord intended. One man, one woman, two hearts promised to one another forever. And children to bless the union.

That too was something the Shakers did not sanction. No marriages. As a result, no babies. So she wasn’t sure if it was Brother Kenton being in the cabin that caused Sophrena such uneasiness or if it was merely Heather’s condition that his presence brought more to mind. Whichever, her aunt stayed apart whenever he was there, perhaps to be sure to avoid that forbidden touch of his hand or arm. Sometimes one of the eldresses, either Corinne, the one Heather had met on that first day, or a long-faced younger woman named Lilith, came with the doctor.

When they came, Sophrena would slip on her cloak and be gone from the cabin to fetch this or that need. Brother Kenton paid Sophrena’s hasty departures no mind, nor did Eldress Corinne. But the other eldress would watch Sophrena go out the door with a frown sprouting between her eyebrows. The frown did not go away when the woman turned back to stand like a sentry over Brother Kenton while he asked Heather about pains and other signs of imminent birth.

Such talk made Eldress Lilith’s frown darken and she often encouraged Brother Kenton to hurry his visit in order to see to his other patients. Heather had no difficulty divining the woman’s underlying message that those patients would be proper Believers with more acceptable ailments.

Brother Kenton didn’t let her words rush him, although he did seem to be more careful in what he said when the eldresses were with him than when he was alone with Heather and the silent Sophrena. With only the three of them in the cabin, he spent time trying to ease Heather’s worries about the birthing process.

“Don’t be concerned, Sister,” he said on one of those mornings as he patted Heather’s hand. “Babies generally come into the world with no difficulty at all. When I was still doctoring in the world, many were the times the babe would be wrapped in a blanket in his mother’s arms before I reached the house. Birthing is a natural process. Not one without discomfort, I regret to say, but one with such rewards that most mothers dismiss the pains straightway for the joys of motherhood.”

“I’m not afraid to give birth. I helped my mother when she had my little brothers,” Heather said. “I will be glad when the time comes.”

“Yea, as will I.” He patted her hand again. “A birth is not something a Shaker doctor will often get the chance to attend, but seeing a new child of God take a first breath is one part of doctoring in the world I admit to missing. The miracle of birth.” Then as though suddenly remembering Sophrena, who was busily wiping off the shelves she’d just cleaned earlier that morning, he glanced over at her. “Is that something you’ve ever shared, Sister Sophrena? Did you have children in the world?”

She paused in her dusting and stared down at the cloth in her hand before she said, “Nay.”

Although he had to be aware that Sophrena was not comfortable with the talk of births, he went on. “Then you must attend your relative of the world when the time comes for her confinement. It
will give you a whole new way of thinking of the Christ’s birth in a stable and be a Christmas gift to you.”

“A Believer has no need of gifts at Christmas,” Sophrena said. “Our Mother Ann instead says we should give of our plenty to the poor at this time of the year.”

“Yea, that is good.” Brother Kenton put his hands on his knees and leaned forward in his chair toward Sophrena. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t rejoice in the unexpected gifts the good Lord showers down on us. This, our young sister’s baby, will be one of those gifts. Not something we sought, but something we were given. A good thing.”

“Not sinful?” Sophrena lifted her eyes to look directly at Brother Kenton. Then a flush crawled up into her cheeks as she glanced over at Heather beside him and added, “Forgive me, Sister Heather, I don’t mean to be unkind, but in our Society, marriage is forbidden and thus the results of such unions as well.”

“My baby is not sinful,” Heather said, but without any resentment at her aunt’s words. She could understand her unease with the thought of the marital union after so many years among the Shakers. “I am not one of your Society, Sister Sophrena. I will never be a Shaker if it means giving up the joy of family.”

“We have family here,” Sophrena said but with little enthusiasm in her voice.

Brother Kenton laughed. “That we do. Many brothers and sisters, but no daughters or sons. I did not mean to push wrong thinking toward you, Sister Sophrena. I am new to the Society while you have been a covenanted Believer many years. Even though I too have signed the covenant to follow the Believer’s way, I cannot look upon the birth of a new child as sinful. You will see.” He stood from his chair. “We will all see. And if I take too much joy into this step back into a more worldly kind of doctoring, I will confess such to Brother Ernest. He often tells me that I lack proper understanding of the Believers’ rules.”

“I know the rules well,” Sophrena said softly as she went back
to dusting the shelf that could not have had time to gather an iota of dirt.

“I am learning them,” Brother Kenton said with steady cheer. “The same as I’m learning the dances, but I sometimes make a misstep there as I may have done so here in talking too much. Another of my sins Brother Ernest points out that I must shake from me.”

“Worry not, Brother. We each have our own sins to confess and our Lord is quick to forgive them. We hold naught against you, do we, Sister Heather?”

“Of course not.” Heather did not add how she was glad to hear that doubt lived in the minds of some of the Shakers as to their beliefs. Doubt she was beginning to note in her aunt in spite of Sophrena’s determined words defending the Shaker way.

“That is good to hear,” the doctor said. “Be sure to send for me if anything changes, young sister. I do have to warn you that most babies tend to come into the world in the middle of the night as did the Christ child.”

“And angels sang in the night sky to the shepherds,” Heather said.

“Yea, so they did,” Brother Kenton said. “And you will be singing to your wee little one before Christmas Day if my eyes do not deceive me.”

After the doctor left, Heather looked at Sophrena. “You don’t really believe my baby is sinful, do you, Aunt Sophrena?” She realized after she spoke that she had forgotten to say “sister,” but she didn’t change her words.

Sophrena didn’t seem to notice. She was still staring toward the door that had closed behind Brother Kenton. “Nay. Nay, I do not.”

“Will you have to confess that to the eldress?” Heather knew Sophrena continued to visit the Centre House to make such confessions to Eldress Lilith.

“Perhaps,” Sophrena said. Then the bell was sounding from the center of the village to signal the midday meal. Sophrena shook
herself a bit before she carefully folded her dusting cloth and tucked it away. “It is time to go get our food.”

As the days passed, Shaker sisters brought gifts to Sophrena and Heather. Shawls to keep them warm since the cabin wasn’t as well built as the houses. Squares of flannel for when the baby came. A few of these women showed the same mixture of uneasiness and eagerness in regard to Heather’s condition as Sophrena. Some were mothers. Others, like Sophrena, had never borne children.

Even if their children were still among the Shakers, such relationships were ignored. The children lived in a children’s house and the mothers were now sisters to their sons and daughters. That was something Heather would never understand no matter how many ways it was explained to her.

Sophrena gave Heather a book about the Shakers’ Mother Ann and let her read for herself how the woman determined through prayers and visions that the deaths of her four infants were a sign to her she should not have married. She believed the Lord was leading her into a better way of life where she could live as those in heaven lived. Without acrimony. Without the stress of individual family life. Without wars and conflicts. With simple peace. One way to obtain that peace was to allow the spirit to overtake one’s body and shake away all sin, but true worship was best expressed in working with one’s hands and giving one’s heart to God.

Heather tried not to condemn their ways simply because they seemed so strange to her, but at times, she did want to ask what of Mary, the mother of Jesus, who had pondered in her heart the amazing child she’d borne? Was she not blessed with other children given to her in the natural way? And what of Hannah who had begged the Lord for a child with such ardor the priest had thought she was drunk on wine? Had not the Lord blessed her prayer and given her the desires of her heart? Children were gifts from God. Her baby the same as Hannah’s in the Bible so long ago.

If Sophrena noted Heather’s frowns when she was explaining something about the Shaker way, she didn’t comment on it. In
fact, there were times while she spoke of their beliefs that her own forehead would pucker with the lines of a frown. Whether that was due to the words she was saying or the dim light for her sewing, Heather could not be sure.

It wasn’t due to any argument Heather voiced. She bit her lip and kept quiet. These people were giving her shelter without asking anything in return except that she consider their ways. Not that she would ever have the first thought of becoming a Shaker. She was only pausing here until Gideon returned. And that only because her father had turned her away from his door.