Close to Hugh (7 page)

But Burton is in the nook by the fireplace, glass in hand, talking animatedly, in an intimate undertone, to a blond boy. Orion.

Orion’s mother, Mona, was one of the questioning parents at the meeting. The father has never been in the picture. Mona is a drifty-scarved, half-starved sessional in the dance department at the university. Religious about furthering Orion’s artistic education. Dance, of course, modern, tap, ballroom. All those art classes. Orion: clever, odd, likeable, a sharp-edged, fragile/tough boy whose work is always interesting. No visual talent, but himself visually pleasing; a serious actor. Newell might do him some real good.

Burton leans closer, close enough to speak into Orion’s ear under the eccentric stab of golden hair. Where does he get that haircut? Not here. Mona must take him into the city.

Hugh’s eye is still on them when Orion reacts to whatever Burton is saying—a quick jerk of the head, eyes staring up in one short glance, and then down again, a brief flush of colour. Tendons tighten in Orion’s neck and he bends his head away like a bird’s, the whole line of head and spine curling away, the soul sent into hiding.

Hugh looks around, checking.

Newell is at his side and, yes, has seen this interaction too.

Burton lays a well-groomed hand on Orion’s sleeve, and Orion looks up, smiling carefully. He says, as if he’s guessed the riddle, “That’s Blanche, right? From
Streetcar
.”

Burton gives himself up to a wild guffaw, shouting, “A scholar! Newell! We have a scholar of the drama here!” He turns back to Orion. “And to finish the quote:
Run away now, quickly
—
I’ve got to be good and keep my hands off children
.”

What, what will Newell do?

Nothing. His flat-lidded eyes flick from Orion to Burton, then back. His mouth moves, tightening downward, but he says nothing.

Okay. Okay, what would Hugh do? This is not a court of law. Who knows what Burton said. Or what Orion is reacting to. Maybe Burton asked if he contributed to the Conservative Party. If he did make a pass at him, what’s Newell supposed to do about that? Orion’s eighteen, for one thing.

Newell grins at Hugh, holds his empty glass up, and turns to the bar table.

Hugh slides back farther into the alcove and occupies his mind with a familiar substitution: if Newell had an older, awful wife, and that awful wife was whispering to boys, would it be any of Hugh’s business how Newell dealt with Burtina? No, it would not. He finds the image of Burtina restful.

Gay and straight, he thinks: like listening to a speech in French when you don’t speak the language well, when you’re still hearing the French words, translating them, then receiving the meaning.

Tiring.

(DELLA)

promised not to be late—

stupid to wait and wait for a call / a text                                    
nothing

in the door at full gallop

                                                                                               Elle, Elly

there in the back corner          fine she’s fine     back to back with Jason

Hugh and Newell and a woman watching them

Mrs. Lovett: drunk, slightly sexy, superior, like what’s her name

who played the Queen Mum she’s all lit up

      what’s so interesting?

booze in the punch

Jerry Pink runs close to the     edge

sweet Savaya also runs close   right on the edge

Pink: pasty smugface plaid      a cartoon of himself

                                                                                            we hate him

     where did Hugh go?

shadowy in the alcove by the sunporch           watching unlovely Burton

lovely Newell                       our hearts go out to him;   the little brother

he looks so sad                                    why does sadness make us love?

true sadness

not the slump of depression     that makes us hate the person

                                                                              like Ken hates me

                                                                                            and I him

Pink surging up to speak          ditching Savaya

ought to talk to her mother     that will be a rough conversation

      Hi, April, your daughter is slutting around with the principal.…

and what it would betray          Elle’s confidence

things overheard and seen          impossible

Elle, Elly, are you all right, with everything that’s been going on?

11. PUNCH HUGH

More punch will get you through this. “The list of those teachers who’ve gone above and beyond is really long this year.” Every syllable out of Pink’s mouth sounds smeared. “Lead us in the quest for excellence, we’re here tonight to celebrate enthusiasm, commitment, the achievements of this great school. Vision revisioned, following twelve months of review and consensus—” Pink does not even bother to finish the sentences.

Hugh’s heart is full of hate these days; head pounding too.

“Today we honour those who asked those questions and committed themselves to finding the answers. Worked late into the evening and early in the morning, winners who wouldn’t take
No
for an answer. Support and encouragement of family and friends. Through the years, enlightenment and inspiration. Sponsors, encouragement, support … start every day with Quaker Oats.” Had to get product placement in there. Pink gives a rich, corporate laugh. “Finally, I would like you to take as your motto the words of Pearl S. Buick, who said,
All things are possible until they are proved impossible and even the impossible may only be so as of now
.”

What the hell did that sentence even mean? And did he really say …?

It seems so. Hugh looks up—Della is far away, staring at Elle. But Ivy Sage, by the stairs, catches his eye. Pearl
Buick?
Her own eyes wide, registering, laughing with him—then sliding down, her face ironed out to decorum.

The awards go fast, eight of them given out splat-splat-splat. Best this, best that, none of Hugh’s pals in the art department recognized, including Della in her part-time class—par for the course, part of the core beliefs. Burton drifts over and maintains a snide commentary during the outflow of plaques and certificates: “The Argylle Gallery’s finest work,” he says, in vile congratulation.

Hugh edges delicately out of his earshot, again and again, but Burton
tags right along, until they’re out of the drawing room and into the wide hallway.

“You’re looking hearty, healthy, hale, these days, Hugh,” he says. “Looking after Mimi hasn’t got you down, I hope?” As if they could have a real conversation.

“Glad to do it,” Hugh answers, pointedly watching the current award recipient.

“Oh yes, I
know
. I myself …” Burton begins, eyes going wet. Dank pools of sentiment that Hugh honestly can’t stand to look into, rude as avoidance might be. “It is the last honour, to be the handmaid of the beloved.”

Hugh downs his punch to drown Burton’s words, but chokes—can’t stop himself: “Don’t compare some casual boyfriend with—” He chokes again, coughing, dismayed by the venom in his own voice, the contempt contained in
boyfriend
.

With poisonous deliberation, Burton turns away and begins remarking on the crowd, the bad perms, the fashion sense, the relative slackness and fatness of the teachers. “You’d better watch out too,” he says, patting Hugh’s belly. “There are getting to be two of Hugh.”

Possibly having heard some of Burton’s epithets, Newell slides through the crowd and puts a hand on his arm, not so much comradely as controlling.

The last award: long service, for Ms. Blaikie from the library. A generously girthed, kind person, she crosses the carpet to Pink, who is holding out the last framed certificate. Burton seems to loathe Ms. Blaikie most of all. “Look at the waggle on that ungirdled rear—feminism has a lot to answer for …”

Hugh taps his teeth together, but can’t wipe dislike away, though he knows it will only egg Burton on.

It does: “But she’s
somebody’s mother
, men, as the corporal would say. My own mother, ungirdled as all get out, God rest her, God rot her, gave me love and cigarettes and booze, and a fantastic succession of stepfathers, back when a father’s step really meant something!”

Hugh makes an involuntary noise, and Burton turns to look full at him. “Don’t like a slur on the mothers, do you, Hugh? Humorous,
Hugh
-morous to think it—when your own is such a piece of work.”

Newell’s lids lift to stare down at Burton.

Who shakes his head and elevates his chin. “No, no, we mustn’t speak ill of the ill, the semi-deceased, the decently near-ceased her exit so long anticipated—” Newell’s grip tightens, but Burton rattles on, “Fragile Mimi! That hideous strength, even in affliction, oh, Oedipus was never so pussy-whipped as you, Hugh.”

Hugh finds himself again making a noise in his throat. Like a growl.

“Burton, quit,” Newell says. “Hugh’s taken care of his mother for years.”

“He’s taking care of her, all right,” Burton says. His eyes brim with joy. “Helped her right into the hospice.
I’d like to help you out, which way did you come in?
”

Only Newell could have told Burton that old joke. A vision of them laughing together about his mother makes Hugh dizzy. He reaches out blindly for Newell’s shoulder, to demand satisfaction, or something—but Newell has turned away, not wanting to take sides. Hugh’s head pounds.

Burton is still smirking, still scoring some point: “He’s cleaning her clocks. He’s cooking her goose. He’s saying,
Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry?
”

“You fucking—”

Hugh doesn’t bother saying anything more. He hits Burton with his fist, as hard as he can, straight in the face. Burton looks surprised and pleased as he falls.
My mother and your mother were hanging out clothes, My mother punched your mother, right in the nose
.

Burton lies splayed on the gleaming wide-plank heritage floor. Newell kneels at his head and checks for damage.

Reeling away from the two of them, Hugh falls backwards against the door behind him—a door that pops open and decants him down the cellar stairs. A short flight, four steps to the landing, and the stairs are carpeted—but his head hits the wall and Jesus, it hurts like heck.

Dizzy, Hugh staggers to his feet and struggles up the stairs, through the doorway, off balance, falling again.

Newell twists to grab for him, but Ivy Sage’s strong little hands are already there, easy on his elbows, bending herself to take his weight without fuss, as if they were doing a trust exercise.

“It’s you,” Hugh says, relieved. “I was looking for you.”

“Oh yes?”

“Well, I …” Nothing comes to his mouth.

She looks at him, not smiling but not at all sad. Even in his haze he is struck by her eyes, clean and young in the squashed face. Shining like aggie marbles, greenish, with a dark ring round the iris.

“I—you, I—wondered where they’ve put you, where you’re staying. Or—” Why be floundering? “You seem to be new to town, I thought I’d talk to you some more.”

The clean eyes assess him, sparkle at him. “And you are who?”

“Yes, yes, I am.” Dazzle, shards of light.

“Who?” she asks again. Then he hears it:
who
, not Hugh.

“Oh! Sorry! Hugh, I’m Hugh Argylle, the Argylle Gallery.” He has a card in his pocket, it’s a miracle. “Not hard to find. Beside FairGrounds coffee, if you drink coffee.”

Ivy laughs, her face folding into a pleased crumple that makes him happy.

“Ivy.” You name people to put them in the world, in your own world.

“Hugh,” she says. Putting him in hers. “Nice clean hit there.”

“If you’re not busy, dinner tomorrow? Seven thirty? There’s a nice—the Duck and Cover.”

Ivy nods, once.

And then Burton is up on his feet, shouting for revenge in a gleeful have-at-you tone, quite the commotion, so Hugh slips down the hall and out the side door Della is holding open, and is gone.

(DELLA)

blood is always so red! so much redder than we think

what is to be done? oh Newell

this boorish impossible bloodsucker you’re stuck with

you know how we all hate him                                      Hugh most of all

Mimi will die soon, Hugh will get better

or what if Hugh kills himself

what if he—

he doesn’t have a garage door, just the lean-to

the funeral was only this morning    we’d feel so

if he did

                                                                                                   if Ken

                                                                if Ken was so fraught, so sad,

                                                                       so unhappy to be leaving

                                                                                      to be unfaithful

not the car, the garage                                                        what a word

but a bridge                                                                           exhausting

or a baseball bat picked up in one swift movement

or a gun in our

what we imagine  if we stop if we stop for an instant

                                                                                                       Elle

                                                                                               if she did

12. HUGH BE THE JUDGE

Damp, velvety darkness confuses the streetlights, each pale head in a mist. The river flows turgid, slower than summer, settling iceward. Hugh walks along, thinking not about Burton or Mimi, but about the basement of the gallery. What else has to be shifted down there, in case the foundation crack widens over the winter, floods in the spring.