Constant Cravings (15 page)

“Thanks.” I pulled a blanket over myself and tucked my knees up underneath my chin, hugging my legs. “I don’t know what to make of it. If she’d been eaten, shouldn’t there be blood? Could the rain have washed it all away?” 86

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“To the untrained eye, yes. But I used a potion, magic dust that should have brought anything to light if it was there. I found lots of bodily fluids in the area, but blood was not among them.”

“Yuck.”

Liam continued to rub my back. Between his gentle touch and the warmth of the fire, I was getting really sleepy.

“About the ritual tomorrow,” he said. “You don’t have to summon Cernunnos if you don’t want to.”

“Do you think we should? Do you really believe he can help?”

“If I didn’t think it was a good idea, I would never suggest it. Cernunnos has helped me in the past, and he’s never been wrong. Of course, that doesn’t mean his answers are always easy to understand or his solutions easy to follow.” I turned to him and ran my fingers through the hair that trailed over his shoulder.

“Why can’t you summon him then, if you know each other?”

“Because I’m not the one with the question. Even though I would also like the answer, that doesn’t count. No matter how many times I ask, it is still your question.” Why did everything have to be so difficult? I just wanted to know what happened to my best friend! “Shit. What do I have to do?” He patted my shoulder. “I’ll explain everything tomorrow. Don’t worry. The only thing you absolutely have to do is consent to the ritual. I can’t give my consent because you aren’t mine to order. The one who asks the question must pay the price for the answer, so you have to be willing.”

“There’s a price?”

He shrugged. “Nothing is free.”

I know he said not to worry, but the more we talked about it, the more I did just that.

“What does he want?”

“It won’t be anything you can’t afford.”

The wind was cool and the morning was crisp and bright. Liam and I were on our way out of the city. We got up early and stopped at his place for supplies on our way. I hadn’t slept well with so much on my mind. I’m not ashamed to admit I was terrified at the thought of having to get naked and summon this Cernunnos person. From what I’d found online in a quick search he was what some believed to be a demigod, one of the few who remained. How do you even address someone like that? Do you refer to a deity as sir? And why the fuck did I have to be naked?

Needless to say, when Liam woke me and said we needed to get started, I was ready. I don’t like to dread things and I especially don’t like to be afraid. I believe the 87

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biggest part of fear is ignorance, so I’d attempted to educate myself on Cernunnos before going to bed the night before. I was wrong. Now I felt worse.

“Where are we going exactly?” I asked, trying to clear my head a little.

“To my aunt’s farm. It’s past the suburbs.” He laughed. “Actually, it’s a pumpkin farm in the middle of nowhere.”

“What kind of fairy is she?”

“She’s not a fairy. She’s my aunt on my father’s side.”

“Oh.” I got the impression that Liam was older than he looked and was surprised to hear his father’s sister was still alive. “Is she very old?” Liam smiled. “She’s thirty-five. I never did tell you my age, did I?”

“No.”

“And you’ve been too polite to ask. How sweet. I’m one hundred and sixty years old. Tara is actually a distant cousin, but I refer to her as my aunt.” I did a double-take. He looked about thirty and I already knew he had a longer-than-natural lifespan, but one hundred and sixty?!

“Wow. I feel stupid. I assumed you were talking about your father’s sister.” He reached over and patted my leg. “Don’t feel stupid. Normal people do
not
live this long. Each new generation of my father’s family sort of inherits me.” I took a moment and thought about how that would make me feel. I imagined it would be very strange to have generations of people die while I remained.

“That must be awkward for you.” I paused, wondering how to word my next question. “Were your parents ever really
together
, as a couple I mean?”

“Yes,” he said softly. “When I was born my mother left her kind and lived with my father until his death.”

I could hear the sadness in his voice when he mentioned his father. I wanted to offer him some comfort, but wasn’t sure what to do.

“One hundred and sixty years ago, the world was a different place. I can’t imagine what kind of life your father must have led. What tribe was he from?”

“Apache. His name was Nantan Lupan
.
It means Gray Wolf. He was what my mother referred to as an old soul. Even when he was a young man he had a presence about him that suggested wisdom. He was a good man and a great shaman.” His smile was bittersweet and for a moment I wished I could have known his father.

“Do you feel as if you belong with one side of the family more than the other?”

“Yes. Believe it or not, I prefer my father’s family.” That surprised me. “Really?”

Liam seemed to be considering his reply carefully. I looked away, not wanting him to feel pressured to explain. After a minute Liam tapped my arm, bringing my attention back to him. “Have you ever read anything about English royalty during the Victorian era?”

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“Sure.”

“Fairy court is not much different. Endless drama and bullshit by the pound.” I burst out laughing. Then his words started to sink in. “Are you fae royalty? I know you mentioned Oberon being ‘sort of’ an uncle to you, but did you mean literally?”

For a minute Liam watched the road and didn’t respond. “Well, it
is
a long drive. I suppose it’s about time I explained everything. You want something to eat first?

Because I think that place right there is our last chance.” Liam got me a breakfast burrito and juice, and himself some coffee with lots of sugar. He pulled back onto the road and took a few sips of coffee before saying, “Go ahead and assume that everything Shakespeare said is true. It’s not far off. That should give you some idea of how ridiculous things can get.” He paused again as if unsure how to proceed. Then he blurted out, “My mother was Oberon’s favorite mistress. The fae have always had trouble conceiving. When Oberon learned she was pregnant he was thrilled. Not so much when he found out about my father.” Oh my God. He wasn’t kidding about the drama.

“What happened then?”

“Well, he was furious of course. He considered sending Cernunnos to hunt him down. However, the power of love and/or a beautiful woman should never be underestimated. Oberon loved my mother enough that when she asked he agreed not to harm my father. But by the time he found out I wasn’t his, the king had already announced he was to have a child. He was humiliated. In order to convince people that I was not his son, and to discourage those who might try to use me to overthrow him, he declared me unseelie. That basically means I can never be seen at court unless invited, I can never gain the throne and I don’t get recorded in ‘good little fairy’ history.

Believe me when I say none of this hurts my feelings.” He took another sip of coffee. “Having said that, Oberon has always been kind to me. He’s never treated me as an outcast and wouldn’t allow anyone to ridicule my mother for her involvement with a human.”

I didn’t understand how a fairy king’s mistress was supposed to act or what was expected of her, so I asked, “Was your mother supposed to be his exclusively?”

“See, that’s the thing, there is no law saying that a mistress of the king must be his alone. He didn’t own her, she had free will. Oberon told me once that when he saw my face whatever anger he had faded. There are many who were never convinced that I’m
not
his son. I told you he was my uncle because I wasn’t sure what to say when the subject came up.”

I watched him while he spoke and sensed a subtle change I couldn’t name. He was blocking me,
hard
. This was more than hesitation, he was deliberately leaving something out. I knew I had bitten off more than I could chew. That much was obvious to me a few days ago. However, that didn’t mean I planned to give up.

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“Look,” I said softly, “I know I’m in over my head, but I’m not stupid. Actually, I have a high I.Q.” I smiled, trying to lighten the mood. “My point is, if you’re going to tell me your story, then tell me all of it. I know I ask a lot of questions, but can you blame me? Until a few days ago all this kind of stuff was just fairy tales to me. I think I’ve handled it well, considering. Believe me, if it wasn’t for what I’ve seen with my own eyes, I wouldn’t be so accepting.”

I paused before deciding to tell him all that I felt. After all, I was asking for
his
complete honesty. “I know we’ve only known each other for a few days, but I care for you. I want to know about you, and I want to know what’s going on. Or at least as much as you know about it. I’m not some crazy woman with a head full of fluff. I can take it. That doesn’t mean I want to take on a werewolf barehanded, but you give me some silver bullets and I’ll give it my best shot.” I took a deep breath. “I know I’m rambling. What I’m getting at is you can trust me. Whatever it is you’re holding back, I can handle it.”

We were a good way into the countryside by now and Liam pulled the car onto the side of the road. His smirk was playful as he said, “I never meant to imply your head was full of fluff.”

“You didn’t. I just want to know…” My words trailed off. I wasn’t sure what else to say.

“You’re right. I have been holding some things back. Under the circumstances I suppose that’s not fair. You
have
handled everything well, and I
do
trust you. Your eyes hide nothing.”

He turned to face me and when he reached to touch my face I tilted my head against his palm. He felt warm and safe. Something certain in a world of doubts.

“What I’m about to tell you no one else knows besides Oberon and my mother, not even Nym. Oberon isn’t my adopted uncle and my banishment to the unseelie isn’t permanent. It is reversed upon his death, or his decision to abdicate his throne.” My heart fluttered and I suddenly felt shaky. “Are you saying what I think you are?”

“If either of those things should occur, I will be granted Oberon’s power as well as immortality. And no matter what he’s declared publicly, his throne as well.” No wonder he’d kept this secret. “Why would he do that?” He sighed. “Because Oberon has no heirs…and he’s my godfather.”

“Holy shit. This is more twisted than a soap opera.” He smiled. “That it is. I told you, drama and bullshit. I’m sure you understand why I’ve kept this secret. It’s also the reason I’ve never had a serious relationship.” What did he just say? For a minute all I could do was blink at him. “Never? In one hundred and sixty years?” I looked once more at his handsome face, long white hair and utterly hypnotic eyes. “I find that hard to believe.” 90

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“That’s kind of you, but think about it. Oberon doesn’t want our kind involved with humans, and how could I trust another fairy? You never know what they might be plotting.”

“Are they all so petty?”

“Not all. However, immortality leads many to boredom and all they have left are their stupid political games. I didn’t want to be caught up in that mess.”

“So if I’m going to trust a fairy, the younger the better.” He laughed. “That’s a safe bet.”

“Still, you could have just held that one part back from whomever you were with.

There’s no reason to isolate yourself entirely.” To his credit, Liam looked me in the eye when he spoke of his past. “I’ve been with many women, but I’ve never been in love. There is a part of myself I’ve always held back. I felt as if I couldn’t trust someone who didn’t really know me, and allowing them so close was too risky.”

“So why risk it now by telling me?”

Liam leaned forward and kissed me softly. “Because I trust you.”

“You’ve gone against Oberon’s wishes though. Not only am I human, but I’m psychic.”

He rested his forehead against mine. “I can’t think of anyone I’d rather break the king’s laws with.”

“It’s a
law
?”

He shrugged. “Fairy laws are more like strong suggestions for royalty.”

“Do you consider yourself royalty?”

“Whether I do or not, it looks as if I’m stuck with being the king’s secret godchild.” I pulled back from him and shook my head, laughing. “This is all too much.” He pulled back onto the road. “Hey, you asked for the whole truth.” 91

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Chapter Twelve

While he drove, Liam continued to fill me in on all the reasons his relationship to Oberon could put him in danger.

“You remember that first night when I introduced you to Nym?”

“Sure. You said you were already on your way to meet him when I called.”

“Remember that rumor we discussed, about someone wanting to steal my magic?” I nodded.

“The reason that is so dangerous has more to do with the entire fae kingdom than with preserving my life. If someone steals my soul and my magic they also steal my link to the king. That means they magically inherit my place as his successor in the event of his death.”

I gasped. “But would they be strong enough to kill a fairy king?”

“With my power, it’s possible. That all depends on who is doing the stealing.” From there it didn’t take long to reach the farm and I spent the rest of the ride contemplating what he’d said and trying not to be nervous.

We turned onto a small private drive and my breath caught as I took in the scenery.

Even though the weather was colder than normal, everything wasn’t dead. I decided then to get out of the city more. Shades of crimson, gold, and green decorated the woods surrounding the farm. I smiled as I looked at what had to be hundreds of bright orange pumpkins.

Before I could comment on the scenery Liam tapped my arm.

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

“It’s amazing. I didn’t know there was a place like this close by. They’re gorgeous,” I said as we passed two trailers rounded over with pumpkins.