Consumed (Keeping her in the Dark) (13 page)

Tiffany and I stood at the pond
breaking bread for the ducks. It was good to see her, but I wasn’t sure what
she wanted from me.

“So how did the party go? You know the Williamson’s
Anniversary party?” It was an odd question.

“It was great. Went off without a hitch.”

“I should have had you plan my wedding.” We both laughed.
“Remember Wendy Darling from high school?” I nodded. “Remember how cute she was
and everyone envied her little petite body and beautiful blonde hair?”

“Yes.” I added, “Do you remember how she could wear it curly
or straight and it looked fantastic no matter what?”

“I do,” she laughed. “Well guess what?” She paused for
affect. “She’s fat!”

“Get outta here!”

“No really. I saw her 2 days ago at the grocery store and she
has to be over 200 lbs now!”

“Wow. That is good news.” We both laughed again. We talked
for another hour then she suggested we go out and I agreed. We walked through
the house laughing and using big hand gestures, waving our arms around, like
old times. Liam came out of his office and stood in the hallway watching us.

“I’m going to show Tiffany around London, we’ll be back in a
few hours,” I shouted as we ran past him. He nodded and kept watching us. John
was shocked but jumped to his feet when he saw me walk outside.

“Would you like me to take you somewhere, Miss Chandler?” I
hadn’t realized how much I had missed him. I walked straight to him and threw
my arms around his neck. He was always so stiff and military like, but he
hugged me back without a problem.

“I’m glad to see that you are ok, Norah,” he whispered in my
ear as I pulled away.

“I’m good. Thank you. We wanted to go take a walk around
London.” He nodded and opened the car door for us.

After 3 hours Liam called my phone. I didn’t want to answer
but I did. “Hello?”

“Hey, what are you girls up to? Maxing out my credit cards,
I presume?” He sounded happy for me to be out, but the sound of his voice sent
me back to the darkness.

“No. You know I wouldn’t do that. We had some lunch, bought
some shoes and now we’re going to see a movie. Is that okay?” I knew I sounded
unemotional.

“I know you wouldn’t, I was kidding with you Norah. Yes, a
movie is fine, sweetheart.”

“Please don’t call me that. We’ll be home later.” I pushed
end.

“Why are you so hard on him?” Tiffany asked. I looked down
as I put my phone in my purse. “He just wants you to be okay.”

“I am okay and I don’t want to talk about Liam. Let’s go see
a movie. I heard the new Superman is pretty hot.”

The next few days, Tiffany and I shopped and saw the sights
in London. I could see that Liam was happy but also hurt. When we ate our meals
Tiffany and I laughed and reminisced about high school and college. But
whenever Liam tried to join the conversation my face would change. I couldn’t
help it.

“You girls went to see the new Fast & Furious movie
today?” he smiled at me. “I didn’t know you had a thing for tall blonde men?”
his smile got bigger.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I snapped. Was he really
suggesting that I could have been attracted to Nick? His face dropped.

“That isn’t what I meant, Norah.” He lowered his eyes to me.
“Yeah, well what did you mean?” I snapped again. “Paul Walker! I was talking
about Paul Walker. He’s tall and blonde, dammit! I was trying to make
conversation.” He stood up and walked out. I could see the pain and hurt I was
causing him. He just wanted things back to normal and I did too. But I didn’t
know how that would happen. Eventually I would have to tell him about my time
with Nick and things would never be the same again.

Tiffany could only stay 2 more days before she had to be
back in Vegas. Jason was already suspicious because apparently she had flown
here to London while I was missing. He was beginning to worry that there was a
problem because she stayed for 3 days before and then came back a couple weeks
later for another 5 days. She covered by telling him Liam and I were having
problems, which was true, I guess.

I woke jazzed about our last 2 days together. I spent an
hour on the treadmill in the little gym in my room, then got dressed and went
to the guest room Tiffany was staying in but she wasn’t there. I walked slowly
down the hall running my hands on the wall. Then I heard their voices.

“Why can’t she talk like that with me? Why is everything so
hard? She looks at me like she hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you,” Tiffany said. They were in his room.
I could see her sitting on the edge of his bed and he was pacing in front of
her. He was dressed in black sweat pants, sneakers, and wasn’t wearing a shirt.
He had his shirt in his hands and kept wiping his face. He must have been
working out too.

“Yes, she does. She hates me. She hates me more now than she
did when she first came here.”

Tiffany stood up. “No, she doesn’t. I don’t think she knows
how she feels. She’s still in shock….I think.”

“What do you mean, you think?” He stood in front of her and
pulled his shirt back on.

“She hasn’t said anything about it.” Liam let out a deep
breath and I could tell he rolled his eyes. “I haven’t asked her either! But if
you’ve noticed she doesn’t look stressed out around me. I just let her be
whatever she wants. I’m not handling her like she’s made of porcelain. Or like
she’s already broken.”

“You think, she thinks, I think she’s broken?” I couldn’t
listen anymore so I went downstairs.

That night when I went to my room for bed Liam was standing
there in boxer briefs and no shirt. I went to my side of my bed and started to
get in when I felt his hands around my waist. He kissed my neck and pulled me
closer to his body. “I miss you so much, baby.” My body tensed up, but that
didn’t stop him. He moved some hair off my shoulder and kissed down my neck. “I
can’t do this, Liam,” I whispered but I know he heard me. He grabbed my hand
and pressed it against him. “Yes you can, Norah. We need this. I need this.” He
ran his hands over my body and tried to pull my night gown up, but I held it
down. “Stop, please. I’m just not ready.” But he kept going. He pulled my
straps off my shoulders and grabbed my breasts. I couldn’t take it anymore.

I turned away from him and pushed him away. “I said no! Stop
this! I’m not ready!” I could see tears in his eyes. He ran his hands over his
face. “I just thought if we could push through it the first time, it would get
easier, ya know. Maybe if we went back to the way things were, acted
like….nothing happened…it would...”

“What? That everything would be okay?” I paused. “I can’t
act like nothing happened, Liam! Something did happened….and it happened to me!
It’s my problem! And I can’t deal with this shit right now!” I crossed my hands
against my chest. “Are you leaving or am I?”

***

“I saw you gave Tiffany one of your
suitcases,” Liam said as we sat in the back of the car on the way back home. We
had just dropped her off at the airport. It was hard to say goodbye. “She
needed it. I think she bought a whole new wardrobe.” I looked over at him. “I
hope you don’t mind. I can replace it.” He touched my hand and I pulled it
away. “Norah, I don’t care about the suitcase.” He recoiled his hand and put it
in his lap.

“I think I’m going to have lunch with Jane tomorrow.” I
didn’t look at him when I said it, but I could feel his eyes on me. “I need to
ask her for a favor.” He didn’t inquire as to what the favor was and I was glad
about that. I couldn’t believe what I was about to do, but I knew Liam had
needs and right now I couldn’t fill them.

“I’m going back to work tomorrow. I don’t want to leave you,
but you don’t want me around, so…” He didn’t finish.

***

I stood in the study near the fireplace
with my back to the door, but I heard him come in the room. I turned around and
looked at Candy and gave her a half smile. I fidgeted with my fingers waiting
for him to acknowledge us. He was standing in front of his desk with his back
to us, reading some papers in his hands. He turned to the side and I saw he was
wearing his glasses, so I knew whatever he was reading it must have been
important. After a few minutes, I was so nervous I thought I would vomit all
over the floor, so I cleared my throat to get his attention. He instantly
looked up.

“Norah, I didn’t even see you there, you’re so quiet.” He
started to walk toward me, then he saw Candy sitting on the couch and stopped.
“Oh, you have company. Who’s this?” he asked. I cleared my throat again and
stepped forward a little.

“This is Candy.” When I said her name, Candy stood up.
Liam’s eyes grew wider when he saw how short her skirt was. She had dressed
exactly as I had hoped. She was wearing a very short black skirt, that I’m sure
if she was wearing underwear, when she bent over we would be able to see it.
But I didn’t think she was wearing underwear. Her shirt, if you would call it
that, was a red halter top, loosely hung over her breasts, and barely covered
her back. There was a very thin strap holding it all together. Liam, trying to
be a gentlemen, held out his hand to greet her.

“Nice to meet you, Liam Hastings.” They shook hands and Liam
looked back at me for an explanation. When I didn’t say anything Liam prompted
me. “Norah? Why is Candy visiting with us this evening?” he smiled but I could
tell he was confused. I lowered my eyes and took a deep breath.

“She’s for you. She’s a present for you,” I whispered. I
wasn’t confident at all.

“Excuse me? A present? What does that mean?” he was still
trying to sound polite but I could tell he was annoyed.

“She’s for you.” I gestured to her and then to him.

“You said that already,” he was annoyed now. “Please say
something else, Norah.” He sounded more demanding now. Candy looked back at me
and I nodded at her. She went straight to her knees and positioned herself
right in front of him.

She lowered her head and put her hands on her thighs. Liam
watched her do this, and looked at me with eyes I hadn’t seen in a very long
time. He was angry. I kept my eyes on him even though I wanted to look away.

“She’s for you. You have needs and she will take care of
them, since I can’t right now.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Norah? Because right
now I hear the words coming out of your mouth and they don’t make sense! What
do you mean, my needs?” He was angry, but so was I or I was getting that way
fast. He was a smart man and I knew he knew exactly what I meant, I didn’t know
why he was making me say it.

“She’s for you, dammit! How many ways can I say it! I can’t
be with you right now, I just can’t! I know you have needs, you’re a very
sexual man, Liam! So here!” I gestured to Candy who was still kneeling on the
floor.

 “She is for you, a present for you! You can do with her
what you want, fuck her, have her suck you off every night! I don’t care, she’s
for you!” He looked like he was trying desperately to use some sort of heat
vision on me. Like if he could set me on fire he would do it right now.

“You don’t care?”

“That isn’t what I meant. I meant….”

“You don’t care if I fuck another woman!?” He leaned down
and grabbed Candy by the arm. “Get up! Get up, please!” She scrambled to her
feet. He looked at her. “Go outside and tell my driver to take you wherever it
is you live or need to go. I’m sorry for your trouble. My girlfriend has lost
her fucking mind.” His voice was even and very calm while he spoke to her. She
looked back at me. “Don’t worry, I will make sure you get paid whatever she
promised you,” he said without hesitation. Candy nodded and walked out. As soon
as the door shut he lit into me.

“Have you lost your fucking mind, Norah? Seriously, buying
me a fucking prostitute!”

“She isn’t a prostitute! She’s a Submissive, just the way
you like! She would do all the kinky things you like and much more than I’m
willing to do as well! You would have fun with her, I don’t know what the
fucking problem is!” I yelled back.

“You don’t know what the problem is, Norah! Are you fucking
joking?” He stepped closer to me and grabbed my arms on each side. “I’m in love
with you! That’s the problem, Norah! I love you and I don’t want anyone else!”
I pulled away from him.

“Liam I was trying to help you. I know it sounds crazy, but
I know how much sex means to you. If you can’t be with me, I would like to have
some say in who you fuck.” I walked to the fireplace and put my hands on the
mantel.

“You do have some say in who I fuck, Norah! You have all the
say….you’re it! It’s you!” I could feel him standing close behind me.

“I can’t….right now. I just can’t, you know that.” He
touched my back and I flinched.

“And I’m not pressuring you, Norah. I can wait. I will wait.
I made a mistake the other night. I’m sorry. What is this about really? You
can’t seriously want me to be with another woman?” I turned to face him and
wiped the tears from my eyes.

“I just want you to be happy….and I know that isn’t me right
now….I don’t know when it will be.” I looked up at him.

“Please talk to me, baby. Stop trying to push me away.” He
reached for me again, and again I flinched when he touched me. I could see the
pain in his eyes as he took his hands away.

“I’m not trying to push you away.” I sucked in a broken
breath.

“Well it feels that way,” he said as he backed away then
turned around to walk back to his desk.

“I don’t want to keep hurting you, Liam. I’m so sorry.” I
was full on sobbing now. He suddenly turned and walked back to me. He grabbed
my arms and held me tight even though I completely tensed up.

“My heart is breaking, sweetheart. I want to help you,
Norah. But I can’t do it like this. I can’t do it if you won’t talk to me, or
cringe whenever I get near you, baby. I am not your enemy, don’t you see that?”
He shook me like he was trying to make me understand. “Stop trying to push me
away from you! I’m not going anywhere, can’t you see that? No matter what you
do to me, I am not going anywhere. I’m right here. I love you. Let me help
you!” When he let me go, I ran to the door. I turned back and saw the hurt in
his eyes.