Crazy For You (12 page)

She thought she might get some salvation when he
went back out on the road. Finally, she’d get some peace of mind.
When he came back, everything would be fine. Just like before.

But Frank had other plans. Plans that included
taking her with him because he didn’t trust her enough to leave her
at home alone. Hell, look what happened the last time he’d done
that. He had to look out for her. Something she couldn’t do for
herself.

Since Glenna brought this on in the first place, she
could foot the bill for Roxanne to go with him. If Glenna didn’t
want to do that—then Glen could leave the band.

But Glen didn’t leave the band. Instead, Glenna was
instructed to send an extra five hundred dollars a week.

After a few weeks on the road, things got worse
instead of better. Frank couldn’t bring himself to forgive Roxanne
for what she’d done. He treated her in a cold and calculating
manner, acting like she was one of his possessions. One that had
lost its appeal, but he was still stuck with, and he turned on her
every time she tried to be anything more.

Every time Frank touched Roxanne, he couldn’t stop
the thoughts crowding his mind of all the other men who’d paid to
do the same thing. It made him furious. The notion that he was the
reason she’d chosen to sell her body in the first place—well, that
turned out to be a weight Frank was unable to carry.

As a couple, they were unable to get past it. Day by
day, Frank grew more and more angry over what Roxanne had done,
mostly because of his own guilt. And he didn’t like having to carry
that burden. Eventually it got the better of him and he wanted to
punish her, just like he was punishing himself.

After a while, his accusing and vigilant eyes turned
into disregarding and apathetic eyes. Now, instead of watching
every move she made he chose to ignore her. Every day, he’d get up
around one or two in the afternoon and go to the bar for
rehearsals. He wouldn’t return to the hotel room until around
sun-up the next morning. Frank did this every day without fail.

Frank always had the keys to Roxanne’s van too,
preventing her from leaving. Letting her go would be too easy. He
wanted her to suffer, just like him.

Along with July came the sweltering summer heat,
marking the six-month anniversary of Frank’s coming home and
putting an end to Roxanne’s short career as a prostitute. And, a
little more than two years had passed since they’d first met at The
Other Place.

It was becoming painfully clear, to Roxanne anyway,
that he was never going to forgive her. She realized it right
around the time she allowed herself to acknowledge that she hadn’t
had a period in three months.

Deep down, she knew what she had to do. She had to
leave. She couldn’t stay with him now. He would probably accuse her
of trying to trap him anyway. She had news for him—she didn’t want
him trapped or otherwise. She didn’t want anything more to do with
him. Ever again. She just wanted to be free. But before that could
happen, she had to figure out a way to get her keys without letting
Frank know about it.

Wait a minute
. The answer descended upon
Roxanne like a quick flash of lightning. That van belonged to her.
Finally it hit Roxanne. All she had to do was call a locksmith and
tell him she’d lost her keys. Once he made her a new set and opened
the door, she could prove she owned the vehicle with the
registration.

For the last six months, Frank had tried to impede
the fierce battle inside him between love and hate. He knew he
loved Roxanne. He never tried to deny that. He also knew he hated
what she’d done, and he hated that she’d done it because of him.
Here lately, the battle had intensified, and finally Frank realized
why. His love for her was gaining ground, conquering his
hatred.

Maybe she’d suffered long enough. Maybe the time had
come to put this whole thing behind them. He knew she never meant
to hurt him. If he’d just come out and told her about Glenna, and
let her know exactly how he felt about it, then Roxanne wouldn’t
have done it.

He couldn’t do this anymore. He had to go to her,
tell her he was sorry and beg forgiveness.

At seven in the evening, Frank drove back to the
motel. He planned to take her out to dinner, where he would beg her
forgiveness and convince her that everything was going to be okay.
So long as they loved each other, everything would be fine. He felt
certain that Roxanne would accept him with open arms.

In good spirits, Frank walked into the motel room
and closed the door behind him. “Roxie...” He called her name
softly.

Looking around the room, he got the feeling that
something wasn’t quite right. Quickly realizing the room seemed
void of her belongings, he searched the dresser and then the
closet, and all her things were gone. He sought desperately to find
something—anything—to prove she’d been there. But there was
nothing. She was gone.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he buried his
face in his hands and told himself this wasn’t what it looked like.
He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to figure out what to
do next. Then he saw it, there on the floor. A sheet of paper with
Roxanne’s handwriting on it. Frank leaned over and scooped up the
note.

Dear Frank:

I’m very sorry it has to be this way. Please don’t
try to find me. And believe me when I tell you that we’re better
off apart. For whatever it’s worth, I’m truly sorry for all the
pain and hurt I’ve caused you. But I know in my heart that you can
never forgive me. So it’s best for everyone concerned if I just go
away.

I cannot stay any longer. I don’t love you anymore.
I’m confident that in time you’ll find another Roxanne. One you can
mold into what you think I should have been. But I’m not the one.
So please, just leave me alone.

I wish you the very best with your music. One day
you’ll wake up and find the words are just aching to come pouring
out.

Roxanne

Frank fought hard to keep his emotions intact,
although a solitary tear did manage to escape. Clenching the
letter, he ripped it apart and tossed the pieces in the air.

He ran his fingers through his hair and drew a tight
fist. “Roxaannneeee…!” his powerful voice bellowed out in
desperation.

Quickly, he jumped up and ran to the door,
determined to go get her and make her come back. He stopped just
outside the door. He didn’t have the time right now. He had a show
tonight.

But there was always tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow he’d go
find her. He knew where she’d gone. Tomorrow he would go to Tampa
and make her come back.

***

Chapter 11

Q
uietly, Roxanne snuck into
the condo. At two in the morning, she knew Candy was either in bed
or she was out somewhere. Roxanne hadn’t been there half an hour
when the phone rang, startling her. At this time of morning it
couldn’t be anybody but Frank. She made no move to answer it.
Instead, she lay there staring at the telephone, knowing Candy
would answer it sooner or later.

Groggily, Candy came out of her dreams. She fumbled
in the dark, finally finding the phone. “Hello…”

“Candy. Put Roxanne on the phone,” Frank said
abruptly.

“She’s with you, Frank. Remember?”

“She left last night. I figured she’d go straight
home.”

“What happened?” Candy was more alert now. “What’d
you do to her?”

“I didn’t do anything to her.” His tone had a
certain bite to it. “She just packed up and left.” For an awkward
moment there was silence between. “Candy, would you please tell
her…” he stopped, his voice breaking.

Candy couldn’t be sure, but she thought he might be
crying.

“Tell her that I love her,” he finally said. “I’ll
do anything she wants, if she’ll just come back.”

“I will,” Candy said. “Just as soon as she gets
here.”

She hung up the phone, got out of bed and headed
upstairs. Finding Roxanne in her bed didn’t come as much of a
surprise. Candy leaned against the doorway and crossed her
arms.

“That was Frankie...?” Roxanne asked.

“Yes. What happened?”

“I had to leave, that’s all.”

“He sounded pretty broken up,” Candy said. “I think
he was even crying.” She was looking for some compassion from
Roxanne.

But Roxanne didn’t have any compassion to spare.
“You don’t understand,” she said. “I had to leave. And I can’t go
back. Ever.”

“How did you come by this decision now?” Candy
asked. “Why not four or five months ago?”

“Because I wasn’t pregnant four or five months ago,”
she said. “Don’t you see? I had to leave for the baby’s sake.”

“You’re pregnant?” Candy asked, feeling a bit
astonished. “And you’re considering keeping the baby?” Not that
Candy thought she shouldn’t keep it, it’s just that Roxanne had
always been so insistent when she was married to Chuck that she
didn’t want children.

The tears snuck up on Roxanne. “Oh, Candy…” She
sobbed. “What am I going to do?”

Candy moved across the room and sat down on the edge
of the bed. “It’s okay.” She draped an arm around Roxanne,
consoling her. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

It took Roxanne a while to calm down, but once she
did she fell asleep quickly.

“Get some rest,” Candy said softly, tucking the
covers around Roxanne. “Tomorrow you’ve got a shit-load of problems
to deal with.”

Roxanne knew she couldn’t stay in Tampa long. It was
only a matter of time before Frank showed up. When she woke up the
next morning, she packed up and got ready to leave for Tennessee.
That was a place Frank would never find her. She couldn’t let Frank
find her, and she couldn’t let him find out about the baby. She
just wanted to be free from his wrath, and she thought running away
would do the trick.

Just as she was about to walk out the door, Candy
presented her with a letter from Winston-Fischer Publications.

For a second Roxanne hesitated to open it. It could
be another rejection. She’d received plenty of those lately. But
there was only one way to find out for sure, and Roxanne didn’t
have time on her side. She ripped into the letter and scanned it,
looking for a definite reply, whether it be yes or no.

…
Dear Ms. Simon…We are interested in discussing a
contract with you…Please contact us at the following address…Or
call between the hours of… Sincerely…Jason Fischer....

Roxanne spoke with Jason Fischer and quickly opted
to head straight for New York City, after a quick stop in Tennessee
to drop off her van.

She hadn’t been gone an hour when Frank showed
up.

“She’s not here,” Candy said.

“Look…I know she’s here.”

“Well I’m telling you she’s not.”

“Mind if I come in and have a look around?”

“Suit yourself.” Candy moved aside.

Frank searched the condo, but found nothing to
indicate that Roxanne had been there lately. Feeling desolate and
defeated, he lumbered back toward the front door. He stopped long
enough to look at Candy and say, “She’s not here.”

That was as close to an apology as she could expect
from him.

For a second, his piercing eyes shot through her
like fire, and she felt a bit sorry for him. “When I see her,” she
said, “I’ll let her know how concerned you are.”

“I’d appreciate that,” he replied with a touch of
thankfulness in his tone—something Candy wasn’t used to seeing from
Frank.

Later that afternoon, Rich was feeling on edge—what
with Roxanne disappearing—and found himself at the condo.

Candy had let him in. That was a start. But quickly,
he picked up on her anxiety. He wasn’t deluding himself about what
she might or might not do to cover for Roxanne. And he could tell
that whatever she did know, she worried about letting it slip.

“We won this battle of the bands contest. We get a
record deal out of it.” Rich was weighted down by his lack of
enthusiasm. “This might be the break we’ve been looking for.” He
tried, and failed, to muster up some excitement.

“Have you guys come up with any original material
yet?” Candy asked hopefully. Even she knew that’s what they really
needed to get a break.

“Frank says he has some ideas,” Rich said. “We’re
supposed to go out to California and get some exposure out
there.”

“California.” Instantly, Candy felt better because
that was so far away. “I guess this is your lucky break.”
Roxanne’s too
.

“I’m going to miss you.” He flashed her a sad,
far-away smile. “I know you probably don’t want to hear it…but I
still do.”

Candy was tempted to tell Rich that she loved him,
too. She always had. But she couldn’t do it. Roxanne needed Candy
now, more than she ever had in her entire life. Candy had to forget
about her own selfish needs.

“It would never work,” she said, a bit of truth
existing in her words. If she stayed with Rich, she’d never be able
to hide the truth about Roxanne. And she couldn’t expect Rich to
hide it from Frank. “I wish you the very best with your music,” she
said, and then wondered if she’d said too much.

Did Rich realize that Candy was saying goodbye? For
real. For good.

Later that evening, Candy caught up with Roxanne at
the Holiday Inn in Ocala, just north of Tampa. In the morning,
they’d head for Tennessee.

Candy had left Tampa without a word to anyone.
Especially Rich. Up and leaving was a lot easier than trying to
make up some flimsy excuse about where she was going, or why.
Instead, if she was going to do some talking she’d do it with
Roxanne, and relayed what she’d learned about Garrett-Hollander
from Rich.

After hearing what Candy had to say, Roxanne was
further convinced that she’d done the right thing. If any little
part of her wanted to call Frank, this news stopped her. She didn’t
want to be responsible for taking the music away from him. Not when
he was so close. If he found out about the baby, she’d like to
think Frank would try to do the right thing. But Roxanne
had
to think about the baby. She couldn’t let herself forget about the
way Frank had treated her during the last six months.