Crazy Maybe (26 page)

LUKE

Now that Andi and I have made up with my parents, we're enjoying a relaxing evening on the completed patio.  At least the big fight
with Andi and my parents got me out of most of the damn grunt work.  But I would've gladly finished it all myself if I could take back what I did to Andi that night.  She has told me several times to let it go, that I'm forgiven, but I just don't get how she can forgive so easily.  One more thing that I love about her.

Rhoades coming to my parents' house thoroughly pisses me off.  I know it's a posturing move - he wanted to get the inside scoop on my parents, and me, to use against Andi later.  I talked to my dad briefly about this when Mom was showing Andi around her newly decorated backyard.  He knows that no matter what Rhoades threatens, I will not turn against Andi - even if that means Dad has to fight for his business again. This time, Dad completely agrees with me.

I know I have to talk to Andi about my revelation earlier - about being a psychologist.  She had no clue and she must have at least thought, even for a second, that I had something to do with getting those pictures of her.  Or even that I could be in league with Rhoades now and will eventually use my training against her. 

She's been a little more distant since that talk in the car.  I keep trying to tell myself it's because of everything else that's happened tonight - finding Rhoades in my parents' house, just seeing him again, and then making up with my parents.  That's enough to drain anyone. 

But I know Andi - and she's not the same.  I apparently don't know how to do relationships very well because I keep screwing up, no matter how unintentional it has been, I know I keep hurting her.  Watching her now as she helps bring the food out of the kitchen, I feel so protective of her and I have to fight the urge to just take her away from all this.  But she's a fighter, she is stronger than anyone gives her credit for being, and she would never back down from this fight.

"Penny for your thoughts," Andi says as she sits beside me.  I lace my fingers with hers, pull her hand to my mouth and gently place a kiss on every knuckle.

"I was just thinking about you, and you're worth way more than a penny."

"So the media keeps telling everyone," she deadpans.

I smile in response to her sarcasm, "That's not what I meant and you know it.  I don't care how much money you
have
.  You are
worth
far more than that."

She stares into my eyes, searching and questioning, but doesn't let go of my hand.  I know she wants to ask me something but she doesn't.  She just keeps looking at me like she's trying to figure out a puzzle but there's a piece missing that she can't quite place.  I want to ask her what's on her mind but I suddenly feel like that's too much like what a shrink would ask a patient, so I keep my mouth shut.

Mom interrupts Andi's examination of me, "Let's eat before the food gets cold.  I'm so glad to have my kids back home!"

With that, Andi releases my hand and begins filling her plate.  When she let go, I suddenly had an odd and ominous feeling, like grains of sand sifting through my fingers and falling away no matter how hard I try to hold onto them.  I'm not the damn sensitive type who believes in all that paranormal bullshit.  But the feeling was so strong, I almost grabbed her hand back in pure fear of losing her.  Giving myself the mental "man-up" pep talk, I shook it off and filled my own plate. 

We enjoyed our time with my parents but I am so glad when we finally leave so that I can have Andi all to myself.  She is unusually quiet on the ride to her house.  Her arm is propped on the car door and she is chewing her fingernails.  An action I have very, very rarely seen from her.  I slowly reach over and take her other hand in mine, rubbing her hand back and forth with my thumb until she looks over at me.

“My turn to offer a penny for your thoughts,” I say with a half-smile. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were a psychologist before tonight?  I thought you were in the same business with your dad.” 

Her tone isn’t accusing, but it’s there just under the surface.  She has a strong distrust of psychologists and psychiatrists after her year-long stint in the psychiatric hospital. She’s probably feeling very betrayed right now – like I’m part of those people who turned a blind eye and deaf ear on everything she experienced in foster care.

“I wasn’t hiding it from you, if that’s what you’re thinking.  It really isn’t part of me, Andi.  It’s not who I am or what I want.  I learned that pretty quickly and I’ve been trying to break into boxing for quite some time.”

She’s quiet as she processes this information.  I half-expected her next question but that didn’t soften the blow any.

“Did you help your dad get those pictures of me?”  Her voice is small and sad – like she’s afraid of the answer.

“Hell. No.  I would never do that to you.”  I squeeze her hand and tug on it slightly so she will look at me as I say the words to her.  She only nods in response.

“He’s going to hurt you and your family, Luke.  Jackson won’t stop until he gets what he wants.  I don’t know what he wants from me – what he thinks he can gain.  But this is all a big chess game to him.  He’s arranging his pieces so that he has all the advantages.  He’s going to take out everyone who means anything to me one at a time and make me watch.  He won’t come after me until he’s through with everyone else.”

“He’s already coming after you, Andi.  You still have your name in the damn tabloids every week with some crazy, made up pile of shit.  And you’re about to lose your contract with your dad’s record label over all this negative shit.”

“He’s orchestrating that, yes.  But he hasn’t really come after me yet.  That’s all just mildly annoying compared to what he’s planning.  I don’t know what it is yet but I know it is coming.”

“Don’t think you’re pulling away from me to protect me.  I agreed to let you protect me if you let me protect you, too. 
Remember?
”

She smiles weakly at me but doesn’t respond.  I think I know why I felt like I was losing her earlier tonight.  She’s already pulling away from me in her attempt to protect me from the storm she feels brewing.  I feel it, too, but I feel it in her.  I feel her angst and her worry but I won’t let her do it alone.

“Andi. 
I mean it
.  Don’t.  Even.  Think.  About.  Doing. It.”

I pull in my spot in her garage and close the door before we exit my truck.  Her hand is on the door and she’s ready to jump from the vehicle when I place my hand on her shoulder.  “I’m not scared of him and I’m not leaving you to face whatever’s coming alone.” 

She squeezes my hand and gets out of the truck.  I’m hot on her heels and we can barely walk because my arms are wrapped around her waist from behind, but I’m not letting her go.  I need to feel her close and she needs to feel I’m here for her.  I feel her tense body suddenly relax as she allows her body to mold with mine as we walk together as one unit.

“See how this works, baby?  Together, we are stronger.  Together, we can take on anything.  Don’t pull away from me now.  You’ll never have to face hard times alone again.  I promise.”

She turns in my arms to face me and I see love glistening in her eyes.  She doesn’t speak words, but her kisses and her touch tells me everything I need to know.  She loves me and she believes me.  She knows I’m here with her no matter what comes. 
Bring on your worst, Jackson Rhoades – whatever you have in mind could never be worse than losing this woman in my arms.

I tell her to wait for me on the couch while I open a bottle of wine and pour a couple of glasses.  She’s more relaxed now, resting
with her back against my chest and I’m just enjoying the feel of her skin, the rise and fall of her breath, and the way she loving strokes my forearm that’s wrapped around her.

“Tell me about when you were a psychologist,” she requests.

“I didn’t feel like I was any good at it.  I met with patients, applied my training, tried to get them to come to their own conclusions and give them the tools they needed to work through their issues themselves.  But it all came to a head with one patient who was referred to me from the court,” with this last statement, I feel her tense in my arms.  I hug her tighter and nuzzle her ear and place kisses on her temple until she relaxes again.

“This guy was accused of beating his wife.  She wouldn’t press charges but the police had been to their house on enough domestic calls that they’d had enough.  The judge sent him to me and I saw him several times.  His wife even came in a few times – alone – and their stories matched enough that it didn’t seem off to me.  I cleared him, said they had the normal marital spats but it wasn’t abusive and she wasn’t in danger. 

A week after his court case, he held her hostage while the SWAT team waited outside.  He killed her before killing himself, but he was yelling that he knew she was having an affair with me.  The SWAT team said he screamed over and over that was the only way she could’ve convinced me to testify that he wasn’t abusive to her.

They both fooled me, Andi.  It was my job to know they were lying.  It was my job to identify the anomalies, the signs, symptoms, and put it all together for the victim’s safety.  I didn’t do that.  I fucked up and someone died because of me.  I couldn’t do it any more after that.”

She turned to face me, staying in my arms and lying chest to chest with me.  “I understand exactly what you mean.  I felt the same way – I should’ve put it all together.  I should’ve known what he was doing to those little girls.  I mean, I took care of them like I was the parent – I should’ve known, right?”

“No, Andi.  People like Jackson Rhoades are devious and have developed ways of manipulating the victims.  Making them believe it’s their fault, making them feel ashamed and unable to tell anyone what was really going on behind closed doors.  If the girls didn’t tell you, didn’t show you any signs of it, there was nothing you could’ve done to stop it any sooner.”

She pulled back slightly, keeping her eyes trained on mine, and smiled a knowing smile.

“Damn.  Did you just use psychology on
me
?”  I asked incredulously.  I can’t believe she just played me like that.  Her grin widens into her mega-watt smile and she unsuccessfully holds back a giggle.

“I just helped you come to the conclusion you already knew,” she states matter-of-factly.

“You’d made a damn fine lawyer, ya know?” 

“And you’d made a damn fine shrink.”

ANDI

I
have changed my mind about doing a press conference.  After Jackson was at the club, then at Luke’s parents’ house, I don’t think it’s such a good idea.  Plus, I’ve been invited for an interview by a very popular morning talk show.  They say they want my side of the story.  I’m seriously considering accepting this invitation, but I’m concerned they will turn on me at the last minute and make me look like the bad guy.

I have one week to decide
if I want to do the talk show or not.  A lot can happen in one week of my life.

Luke is at the gym training hard this week.  He’s missed so much time lately because of all my drama that Mack threatened to drop him.  I am working at the gym and at the youth center all week, trying to get back into a regular routine and stop letting everything and everyone else run my life.  I was almost to the gym when I realized I forgot my gym bag at home and had to turn around to go get it.  Now I’m
really running behind.

When I walk in the gym, I’m suddenly overwhelmed by the number of people inside.  Camera flashes are going off everywhere, video cameras and microphones are being shoved in
every direction, and people are crowding me all around.  Then the questions they’re asking finally register in my brain – they’re not directed at me.  They’re not about me.  They’re not taking pictures of me – they’re pushing me out of the way. 

They’re going after Shane.

What. The. Hell. Is. Happening.

“Shane!  Shane!  Is it true you’ve lost eligibility for the title fight because of steroid use?”

“Are the allegations true?”

“Will you submit to more federation testing?”

The questions are being fired at Shane one after another.  Even though I’m looking in the same direction as everyone else, I can’t find Shane.  Or Mack.  Or Luke.  I start pushing and elbowing my way through the crowd to get to the front.  Shane is in the ring with all his gear on, still practicing and sparring like no one else is here.  Mack is standing to the side of the ring and sees me approach the ring.  He’s not happy at all.

Shane finishes his normal workout and exits the ring on the opposite side of the chaos.  I turn and start ordering people out of the gym unless they have a paid membership. 
Will walks up and starts pushing the crowd towards the doors.  When I threaten to call the police and have them arrested for trespassing, they begrudgingly leave the building and wait on the outskirts of the parking lot.  I make my way in the direction that Shane went to find out what has happened.

Shane is unwrapping his hands when I walk in the room.  “Shane – what is going on?”

He doesn’t look up when he answers, “The federation said my last drug test came back positive for illegal steroid use.  They’ve blocked me from continuing on my title-fight run until this has been cleared up – one way or another.”