Cursed (Howl, #6) (13 page)

Chapter 18

The next morning, Samara woke up and glanced over at Luke. He was staring up at the ceiling, a smile on his face.

“I need to ask you something,” Samara whispered. She knew that it was probably the worst time for her to ask him—right after they had just made love—but she couldn’t help herself. Not knowing was killing her. She wasn’t even sure if she would leave him if he told her he’d done it, but she had to know once and for all.

Luke turned his head so that he was facing her. “You can ask me anything.” 

“Did you kill Brad Kelly?” Samara questioned, nervously darting her eyes away from his so she wouldn’t have to see the look that passed through them.

“What? Why would you even ask me that, Samara?” Luke asked. His voice didn’t sound angry; more than anything, he sounded hurt by her question,
which made her feel like shit.

“I . . . I got a letter,” Samara said, sighing. She stood up and grabbed the clutch that she had used on their wedding night. She opened it and pulled out the envelope t
hat had been addressed to her.

Luke pulled out the note that was tucked inside, which was written in red writing, and said:
Congratulations, Samara! You’ve married a killer.
He also pulled out the photo, which was of Luke holding a knife in the air over Brad’s dead body.

He met Samara’s e
yes. “Where did you get this?”

“Someone put it on our wedding gift table,” Samara explained. “I saw it on the night of our wedding, but . . . I’ve been too afraid to ask you about it until now. I guess I didn’t really want to know if you did
it or not.”

“So, instead of asking me about it, you’ve kept it from me this whole time?” Luke questioned, narrowing his emerald green eye
s at her. He clenched his jaw.

“I . . . I didn’t know what else to do,” Samara replied. “We were already married, and I just . . . I didn’t want to find out you did it, after I already married you.” She paused before saying, “If you were jeal
ous because Brad was my tutor—”

“What?” Luke asked, anger flashing through his eyes. “You told me your tutor was an old woman who was a retired
teacher! It was really Brad?”

Samara nodded. “Yeah, it was. I thought you knew. I thought you saw us together at the library that day when someone was watching us in one of the aisles and that you got mad at me—and jeal
ous of him—so you killed him.”

Luke climbed out of bed an
d began to put on his clothes.

“Where are you going?” Samara questioned. “It’s
not time to go to school yet.”

“Yeah, I know it’s not, but I’m not staying here right now,” Luke said, shaking his head frustratedly. Glancing over at her, he said, “You know, I’ve tried my hardest do everything I could to do good by you. I even felt guilty months ago when Ashley Everest hit on me in front of you, that day you got jealous. But I’ve
never
kept a secret from you before—not like this. I’ve never lied to you. Is there anything else you’re not telling me?”

As a tear fell from Samara’s eye, she debated what she should and shouldn’t tell Luke. She had been keeping so many secrets from him over the past few months, and she knew now that wasn’t what a person who loved someone should do. “I . . . I was mated to Declan again,” she replied quietly, looking away from Luke. This time, she really didn’t need to see the pain that overtook his eyes; she could feel it wash over his body. “It was when we merged wi
th the Vyka to form the Tala.”

Luke didn’t say anything for a long wh
ile. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” Samara replied, knowing that was the best excuse she could give him. She couldn’t explain all of the reasons she hadn’t told him—that she loved Declan and she had considered being wit
h him, instead.

“Like it’s not hurting me now, Sam? Because it is. It’s really fucking hurting me now,” Luke said, his v
oice rising to an angry level.

“I know . . . I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s not like it changed anything, though. I still love you,” Samara said, glancing over at him nervously. “I chose you. I married you. T
hat’s what matters, isn’t it?”

Luke shrugged. “I don’t know what matters and what doesn’t, but I know that this changes things. It means that I can’t trust you.” He shook his head angrily. Narrowing his eyes at her, he asked, “You’re not
still mated to him, are you?”

“I don’t know,” Samara admitted. “I . . . I don’t think so. I tried to get in touch with him a few times, but he never answered me and—”

“You tried to get in touch with him?” Luke asked, his voice shrill and becoming even more angry now. “Why would you try to get in touch with him?”

“He was my best friend, Luke!” Samara blurted. “You can’t expect me to want to give up on him completely, just because we’re married.” After she said the words and saw the look on his face, she knew that she had said the wrong thing. Climbing off the bed and moving across the room towards him, she reached out to touch his arm,
but he pushed her hands away.

“I don’t want to speak to you right now, Samara,” Luke said. There was a look of fury in his eyes, and it scared
her a little. She didn’t think he would do anything to hurt her, but she knew at that moment just how bad she had hurt him. He turned to leave the room, but before he did, he asked, “Just tell me one thing. Did you cheat on me with him?”

Samara glanced down at the ground. She wanted to tell him that she hadn’t—she wished she could tell him that she hadn’t
even—but that would be a lie.

“Figures,” Luke muttered under his breath. He opened the doo
r and stepped out of the room.

“Luke, wait! Please don’t go,” Samara called after him, chok
ing on her own desperate sobs.

She heard the front door and open and slam shut, but she already knew at that point that it was too late. Luke was gone.

Chapter 19

“Okay, I brought you some Cherry Garcia, because I know that’s your favorite,” Emma said, setting a carton of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream down on the coffee table in front of her. She pulled a few DVDs out of her tote bag. “I also brought the Notebook, the Proposal, and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Now, get t
alking, woman. What happened?”

Samara met her best friend’s worried sky blue eyes, and she knew there was no sense in trying to keep it all a secret from her best friend anymore. Luke already knew the truth, so she might as well tell Emma the truth, too. “I
cheated on Luke with Declan.”

“What?!” A look of surprise filled Emma’s eyes. “When did
this
happen?”

“Before the day of our wedding. The night before, to be exact,” Samara replied with a sigh, knowing just how terrible of a person that made her sound. “Remember when I asked you for your advice on the wedding day, and yo
u told me not to get pregnant?”

“Yeah, I remember.” After a moment, Emma’s eyes widened. “Please tell me you’re not pregnant with Declan’s
child. That would be horrible!”

A tiny smile tugged at Samara’s lips, and she couldn’t help but giggle. “No, I’m not pregnant with Declan’s child, I promise. We didn’t even do that! We just kissed, but when I came to you for advice . . . I wanted to know if I should marry Luke that day or if I should postpone the wedding, because I had feelings for Declan, too.” She sighed and opened the carton of ice cream, shoveling into it with the plastic spoon
that Emma had brought for her.

As Emma dug into her own carton of Ben and Jerry’s, she furrowed her brow. “What does Declan think about all of this? Did he see
m sad after you married Luke?”

“I don’t know, because I haven’t been able to get in touch with him,” Samara admitted. “He promised me he was going to be there for me on my wedding day, no matter what, but then he never showed up. I tried contacting him again a few times, but
I never heard back from him.”

“I thought you said he was having family problems and that’s why he hasn’t been around,” Emma said, st
udying Samara’s face intently.

“I know that’s what I said, but . . . I lied,” Samara admitted. “I made it all up because I didn’t want to admit the truth to everybody—especially not to Luke. See, me and Declan were mated again when we merged packs. I don’t know if the bond between us was broken when I married Luke or if Declan’s just been ignoring me ever since then, but I can’t seem to get ahold of him through mind-speak.” Knowing that she couldn’t keep the rest of the truth bottled up inside anymore, she also added, “There’s something else, but you have to promise me that you won’t
tell anyone else in the pack.”

“Okay, I promise.” Closing her eyes, Emma said, “I just blocked Colby out of my thoughts so he can’t listen in on our conversation.” Opening her eyes again, she glanced
over at Samara. “What is it?”

“Declan joined forces with Darren Jackson,” Samara replied, trying to keep her voice at an even level, despite the fact that she wanted to cry or scream. “That’s who they initiated into the Vyka adult pack that night—the person who’s close to me, who I told you guys I didn’t actually know. It’s Declan.” A tear glided its way down her cheek, and she wiped it away with her sleeve. “He’s a traitor, Em. Darren said that Declan got close to me just so he could help them figure out a way to kill me quicker. What if that’s all true?”

Emma shook her head and bit her lip, considering the possibility. Finally, she sighed and said, “I don’t know, Sam. I want to tell you that it isn’t true and that Declan would never do anything to hurt you that way, but . . . I also didn’t think it could ever be true that Declan would turn on us like that, either. It’s almost like we never knew him at all.”

“I know,”
Samara agreed, sighing. “I don’t know why I felt like I had to keep this whole thing a secret from everyone. I know the whole pack is going to be so mad at me once they find out the truth—that Declan’s a Vyka now—but I guess I felt like, in some way, I owe it to Declan to protect him.”

“Sam, you don’t owe Declan anything,” Emma said, shaking her head. “He was supposed to be your friend, and yet, he joined your biggest enemy in his plot to kill you. That doesn’t sound like the type of person who really deserves protecting.”

“But he also protected me from my enemy before, too,” Samara insisted. “When Jason saw me in Alaska, Declan covered for me. He acted like he didn’t see me so that Jason wouldn’t know I was there. And then later on, he told me about Jason’s plot to kill me.” Staring her best friend in the eyes, she asked, “Why would he do that, Em? Why would he do that unless he really loved me?”

“I think Declan did love you at some point, Samara. Maybe he still does, but maybe he’s too angry at you for marrying Luke to be friends with you . . . so he feels like he needs to kill you, instead.” Emma sighed. “I don’t know. It sounds really bad when I put it like that, but who knows what’s going through his head? But maybe once you told him that you were choosing Luke over him, he just couldn’t take it. Maybe he snapped.” She snapped her fingers dramatically.

“But I never told him I was choosing Luke over him. I mean, it might have sounded like I was going to at the time, but . . .  I wasn’t going to marry Luke, Em,” Samara told her, shaking her head.

Emma’s eyes widened. “What do you mean you weren’t going to marry Luke? You really weren’t going to go through with it?”

Samara shook her head. “No, I was going to choose Declan. I just wanted to see him there in the crowd with everyone else that day and to know that it would have hurt him if I went through with it. It was all I needed to choose him over Luke or to at least postpone the wedding until I could figure out what I really wanted, but . . . he wasn’t there.” A sob caught in the back of her throat, and tears began to pour from her eyes. “He didn’t come for me, Em. And he promised me he would be there for me, and he wasn’t.”

“Oh, Sam,” Emma said, flinging her arms around Samara and hugging her close. “I’m so sorry, Sam. I’m so sorry Declan wasn’t there for you like you needed him to be.
”

Samara allowed herself to cry on her best friend’s shoulder for what felt like an eternity. When she finally pulled away, Emma asked, “So, what does this all mean for you and Luke? Do you still love him?”

Samara nodded. “I know it sounds bad . . . and selfish, probably, but even on the day of my wedding, I was confused because I love
both
of them, Emma. I didn’t think it was possible to love two people at once, but it really is. I love them both in different ways. I love that Luke is such a loyal person. He’s so much fun to be around, and he really cares about me. I care about him, too.” She paused before saying, with hesitation, “And I loved—or maybe I still love—Declan because he always made personal sacrifices for me. He really loved me, Em. At least, I think he did. I have great chemistry with both of them, but . . . I married Luke.”

“Yes, Samara, you married Luke,” Emma agreed. “If you weren’t sure, maybe you should have waited a little longer, but now that you married him, you owe it to Luke to work things out with him. It’s the right thing.”

“I know it is.” Samara sighed and then continued. “There’s still more I need to tell you, though. I think that Luke might have killed someone important to me.” Meeting Emma’s eyes, she said, “I think he might have killed Brad Kelly.” 

“What? Are you serious?” Emma asked, her jaw hanging open. And then she shook her head. “No, Sam. There’s no way that’s possible. Luke definitely didn’t kill Brad. Luke might be a lot of things—stubborn, at times, and maybe even a little jealous, but I don’t believe for a second that he’s a killer.”

Samara gave her a sideways glance. “I would have thought the same thing
about Declan, and who knows.”

“Well, did you
ask
him?” Emma questioned.

Samara shook her head. “Yes, I did. And it sort of felt like he turned this whole thing around on me. He somehow got me to admit to all of the things that I’ve done wrong, but he never actually answered me about whether or not he killed Brad.” She sighed. “I guess it doesn’t matter, though. I’m just going to work
things out with him, anyway.”

Emma made a face. “You rea
lly want to be with a killer?”

“Well, what other choice do I have?” Samara asked. “Both of my mates are bad. Declan’s a traitor, and Luke may or may not be a killer. I mean, I don’t know he killed Brad for sure, but . . . I have a picture that shows him hold
ing a knife over Brad’s body.”

“That sounds like proof enough,” Emma said quietly, taking
another bite of Chunky Munky.

Samara hesitated. “What if it was Photoshopped, though? What if someone is trying to frame him, even though it wasn’t actuall
y him?”

“I don’t know, Sam,” Emma replied. “Why would anyone go through the effort of doing all of that? To hurt you? To make you not want to be with Luke anymore?” She laughed bitterly. “The only one I can think of with a good enough motive is Declan.”

“Declan wouldn’t do that—” Samara started to say, but she stopped herself from saying anything else. She no longer knew what Declan was and wasn’t capable of. She sighed. “Why is my life so confusing?”

“Because you’re a werewolf,” Emma said, resting her head on her shoulder. “All of our lives are so much more co
nfusing because we’re wolves.”

“And human teenage girls think th
ey have it bad,” Samara said. 

“For serious,” Emma agreed with a giggle.