Deceitfully (Sinfully Series) (9 page)

I found the morphine button after a while and didn’t hesitate to push it. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to escape this hell. My body screamed with only the slightest movement.

Comfort. Such a funny word. I needed it right now, though. Comforted, knowing that everyone else was safe. Comforted, knowing that we’d get through this tragedy and we’d come out stronger on the other side. Comforted, that we’d be okay, that the pain would lessen each day.

Stella came to mind along with that word. She was the key to my answers and right now, the only person I had. I didn’t want to upset my sisters or mother. They had enough on their plate. Stella had been there for me when I was asleep.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, I heard her come back into the room. She took the tiniest of steps like she was scared to come any closer. A mix of emotions covered her face, but in the end, it was her smile that got me. It gave me hope.

I had to ask, I had to hold on to the slightest chance that she was wrong before. She told me all she knew, and it was final. I listened to her sweet voice, but all that came to my mind was the fact that he was gone.

Closing my eyes, I wept. I had the slightest urge to pull her close. It was crazy, we barely knew each other, but I was holding on by a thread. Her soft, cold hand lay on top of mine and my heart skipped a beat. Putting my hand on top of hers, I held on to her, hoping that she’d give me the strength I needed to get through it all. With my luck, she’d be gone by tomorrow. For the moment though, she was there for me, and I wasn’t going to give it up.

LOOKING DOWN, I SAW HER head between my legs beneath the covers. Seriously, the best way to wake up in the morning. Watching her quietly, I tried to stifle the moans of pleasure as she took me as far as she could in her mouth. Her other hand played with my balls, and it was pure heaven. I needed to feel her. Lifting the hospital blanket, I told her to come up to me, and she complied instantly.

Her pants were off; she was scantily clad in just a t-shirt. She slid up my body and settled over my hips. I was hard as a rock from the oral pleasure she just gave me.

“I need you.” Grasping her hips, I lifted her up and slid her back down on top of me. She smiled shyly as she rode me. So damn beautiful, I wanted to remember this moment forever. The way her hair fell in waves, framing her gorgeous face. I grabbed her breasts, pinching her nipples, causing her mouth to form the perfect ‘o’.

Grinding against me now, I knew she was getting close. I could feel her muscles starting to contract, and it caused me to lose it. I pistoned into her, filling her with my release—her body using me to hit just the right spot to prolong her ecstasy.

Looking up, she grinned down at me. I wasn’t expecting it, but it was better than last imagined. She lowered her chest and fell asleep, me still inside her. Falling asleep with her in my arms, there was nothing better.

It couldn’t have been but a moment later when I felt her pull away from me and slip out of my arms. Opening my eyes, reality shatters all around me. Stella was looking at me, confused.

Fuck.

She looked down my body and quickly ran out of the room before I could say anything. “I’m going to go get some water.” She was gone before I could explain. Cursing myself for having Stella in my room while I slept, I wondered if I spooked her. She ran out way too quick. What would I say to her? What did she think?

Trying to hold on to the last memories of the dream, I didn’t want to forget them. It was my first dream in years that involved someone other than Payton. It was then that I realized how much Stella was starting to affect me.

Payton.

I briefly wondered how long I could hold off from telling her what happened. I wasn’t sure that she’d find out, but I knew that she’d be here in a heartbeat if she knew I was hurt. I didn’t need her worrying about me just yet. I already had a girl at my bedside, and I had a feeling Payton might not help matters if Stella walked in on another girl sitting in my room. I was greedy and wanted to savor each moment I had with Stella.

It was a good hour later and a switching of nurses before Stella returned. She didn’t say anything for a long time. I looked over at her a few times, and she was staring hard at the television, nibbling on her lip. We watched some game show on television in quiet silence. The silence gave me time to organize my thoughts. I was okay with it, although it was eating me up not knowing what she was thinking.

“Stella?” I asked quietly, trying not to scare her. She was sitting with her feet up in the seat and had changed at some point out of her dress and into a pair of oversized scrubs. She looked over timidly and was back to biting her damn lip. That needed to stop.

Shaking my head, I reached up and pulled her lower lip from her teeth. “Say something.”

It took her a moment before she spoke up. “I literally have no idea what to say. I mean, you’ve been through a lot and everyone dreams. I’m not saying it was wrong, just—well—unexpected,” she spewed out quickly.

Confession time?

“I wasn’t expecting it, either. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you off. I didn’t—I didn’t do anything stupid, did I?” I wasn’t positive what all she was worried about.

She turned to face me, her feet gracefully lowering to the floor before her hand brushed through her hair. “You were cuddling me. Rubbing my back gently. I thought you just needed someone. I don’t mind being there for you, even with an intimate hug. You said you needed me while you were asleep. I thought I was helping, but then I felt
it
. I know it’s normal when guys sleep, but I wasn’t ready to deal with that. I freaked out. I’m sorry, Tate.” She let out a heavy breath.

“Never apologize, Stella. You’re right. It’s a guy thing, it happens. I never want you to feel uncomfortable around me.” I needed her to stay with me. I couldn’t handle this alone. “Thank you for being here for me. It means a lot that you stayed.”

“How could I leave?” she murmured just above a whisper.

Looking into her eyes, I felt the connection. Without a word being said, we spoke a million words to each other. I didn’t know what it was or when it happened, but there was a spark there. Something fierce and dangerous.

She was the first to break contact. “I’m going to go try to get some updates. Want anything while I’m gone?” she offered kindly.

“I’m dying for a sports drink. Any flavor but blue. And Stella?” She turned with her hand on the door.

“Hmm?” She looked up expectantly.

“Don’t stay away too long.”

FUCK. A. DUCK.

What was I getting myself into? As soon as I stepped out of his room, I felt like I could finally breathe again. That man did something to me and it was like we were in a bubble; nothing else mattered when we were together.

He was Sophia’s. Or, at least, was. I couldn’t go into her territory. It was immoral and broke all sorts of sister codes. Why’d she send me in there in the first place? She knew how he was. A girl could only be strong for so long.

The dream. I’d been reading a book on my Kindle when I heard him groan the first time. I thought that maybe he was in pain, so I put my device down and watched him. Every so often, his lips would twist up into a smile, his breathing erratic. When I heard him tell me that he needed me, that was what did me in. I slid into bed beside him gently, hoping not to cause him any more pain.

His arms wrapped around me, and I fit perfectly under his arm. His body was warm and I molded into him. Tate had showered while I was gone and he smelled divine. I could have stayed there all night. I had almost drifted off to sleep, readjusting myself to get more comfortable. That was when I felt it. Him. All rock hard and gloriously erect. Did that fit into normal women? I cringed at the thought of the pain but quickly shook it off.

What was I getting myself into?

He was my dream guy, but I knew better than to believe he’d fall for me. He could have his pick of women, and clearly, I was the second choice between my sister and me. I’d always be second best.

Sliding into a seat outside Tate’s room, I pulled out my phone and powered it up. I’d turned it off to save battery power, but I figured texting Tricia might work. After waiting for the phone to turn on, I sent her a quick text.

Me: Any updates?? Tell me everything you know. Do you have time to bring me a phone charger? I’ll pay you for it.

I heard and felt my stomach growling, begging me to eat something nutritional. Over the past eighteen hours, I’d had an apple juice and red Jell-O from the fridge down the hall. At the reunion the night before, I’d been too nervous to eat and had planned to make a sandwich when I got back to my apartment. Obviously, plans had changed.

I headed down to the cafeteria, wondering if Tate would have to order from his room or if I could grab something for him down here. He’d been given some graham crackers to help settle his stomach earlier, but no one had mentioned food since. Poor guy was probably famished, too.

As I stepped off the elevator, I heard the commotion from down the hall. His voice was young and confident, but that wasn’t what caught my attention. “Tate Lawson. He was admitted during the night. I need to get back there, miss.”

I walked toward the voice without a second thought. As soon as I saw him, I knew he was one of Tate’s friends. Blond hair that looked like he’d just finished a marathon in bed, a full sleeve of tattoos, and beautiful green eyes.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Tate’s been asking for you for hours now! Here, come on back with me so we don’t stress him out any more than we need to.” I wrapped my arm around his elbow and looked up into his eyes, hoping he’d take the hint.

“Thank you.” He kept staring, a smile forming on his face before he pulled me into a full-on hug. Tate sure had some good-looking friends. His biceps barely fit his sleeves, and when he smiled, those dimples were enough to make any girl cave.

“Of course. I was just about to grab him some food.” I waved goodbye to the nurse and began walking back to the cafeteria with this mystery man attached to my arm. Once we were a safe distance away from her, I asked, “You’re friends with him, I assume?”

“Yeah. I just heard the news. Is he okay? His phone went straight to voicemail, and I was starting to freak out,” he confessed. He was a good half a foot taller than I was, and the way he was still holding on made me curious.

“He’ll be okay. I don’t know how close you both are, but he needs all the support he can get. What’s your name?”

“Tyler. If he’s going to be okay, that’s a good thing, right?” He furrowed his brows.

I turned to look up at the menu, trying to decide what to get. I wasn’t ready to answer his question because I didn’t know how to answer him.

He must have sensed my unease because he changed topics for me. “He likes cheeseburgers with fries, but if you asked him, he probably said a grilled chicken. He doesn’t want people to know he cheats from his good meal planning.” He tapped his hip against mine as he said it. Was he flirting with me, too?

“I didn’t ask him, but that sounds good to me, too.” Just then, my stomach let out a loud growl, causing him to laugh.

“Three cheeseburgers with fries,” Tyler told the cook and scooted down the line, dismissing me before I could even protest.

“Are y’all close?” Did he know how bad it was last night? Did he know about those who hadn’t made it?

“Yeah. We’ve been buddies forever. He was in my wedding a little over a year ago, actually. We hang out when we can.” He thought about it for a moment. “He’s probably my best friend.” His hands were tucked in his pockets. He waited a moment before asking again, “What about you? I’ve never seen you around?”

He was right. I was nobody. “Stella. I was at the reunion with him. He didn’t have anyone with him so I’ve been keeping him company. He’d probably prefer you though, so I’ll let you two have your time alone and I’ll tell him bye.” I brushed a piece of hair behind my ear, praying he would pry. It was random for me to be hanging out with Tate, but I felt a pang in my stomach when I thought about leaving Tate.