Declan + Coraline (14 page)

“Just say it,” I said to him as I dabbed at my lip.

“Say what?” He placed his hands in his pockets and leaned against the door.

“What you’re thinking. I’m insane, right?”

“That wasn’t what I was thinking.”

“What then?”

“I might end up marrying an Italian. You’re with a black girl. I was thinking, ‘when did we become so progressive?’ ”

Smiling, I gave up and threw the towels into the bin as I looked back at my reflection.

“You think she’ll stay?”

“For your sake, I hope she does.”

“Why? Aren’t you all about marrying Irish?”

He shrugged. “Like you said, for eighteen years you’ve asked for nothing, except her. Dad’s wrong, you’ve done more than I have. While I was playing around in college you were studying your ass off in computer sciences. Why? Because you thought it would help the family if we had a computer genius on the inside. You have always thought of the family before anything else, even yourself. Now all you want is a woman? I don’t care if she’s black, purple, green, Irish or not. You should have what you want.”

“Thank you.” That was all I could say.

He nodded and turned to leave but stopped. “Just tell me, why?”

“She takes away the nightmares. And for the first time in eighteen years I can dream again. She makes me smile a thousand times a day and laugh ten times as much.”

“I’m jealous.” He smirked.

“I hope you won’t always be.”

“When are you going to tell her?”

I paused for a second thinking.

“On our third date. I want one more normal day as just Declan.”

Don’t let go of me, Coraline.

TEN

“I have not broken your heart - you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.”

―Emily Brontë

CORALINE

He had asked me to meet him at the same diner we first had coffee in. And I, being the anxious wreck that I was, sped through the rain, just so that I could get there ten minutes early. But much to my dismay, when I got there I could see him already sitting at the window.

The rain poured down and I was under my red umbrella as I made a mad dash from the parking lot to the steps. I was shocked that he hadn’t noticed me yet. He was usually always aware of his surroundings. I waved, but he still didn’t notice me. He leaned back against the booth of the chair and stared intently at the table. Even as the waitress came over to him, he still didn’t move or speak. He was like stone. Walking up the stairs, the bell above the door rung as I entered, and I closed the umbrella and shook the water off of myself. But he still didn’t look up. I could see now he was staring at a watch in his hands…something was wrong.

“Declan?”

He blinked a few times and frowned as he glanced up at me and then at his watch.

“You’re early.”

“Do you want me to leave and come back?” I laughed nervously.

“No.” He shook his head and stood up as I slid in across from him.

“Why did you choose here?”

“You don’t like it?” He paused before he could sit down. “We can go somewhere else if you like.”

“Declan, it’s fine. It was just a question. What’s the matter with you?” I asked him.

He sighed and finally sat down. Brushing his hands through his hair he looked up at me before looking away. “I need to tell you something and I don’t want to.”

“Okay…”

“I don’t want to because I’m afraid you’ll run.”

“Let me guess, you’re a vampire,” I joked, but he didn’t crack a smile. “Declan?” I asked, worried now.

He waved over a waitress and said, “I want everyone out, now.”

She nodded quickly as she moved over to the other customers, who each gathered their things and left. More than a few of them were disgruntled, but no one could do anything about it as she ushered them out into the rain.

“Do you own the place? You can’t just—”

“Coraline.” He sighed. “I don’t own the diner, but I do own this neighborhood. They know enough to not argue.”

“Okay, you’re scaring me now,” I said softly as he took my hand.

“Ask me why they left?” He frowned squeezing my hand gently.

For some reason I didn’t want to.

“Coraline, ask me.”

“Why…why did they leave?”

“Because I’m a Callahan, and going against me could cost them their lives.”

“What—”

“You were born here, Coraline. You must have heard the stories. The Irish mob owns Chicago. All the drugs and the murders stems from one crime family.”

“No.” I shook my head. “Declan, what are you saying? Your family has done so much for this city. New playgrounds, rebuilding hospitals, donating food–”

“Just for our image. So that people like you could never believe that it was us. So that you would never think that the same people feeding bread to the homeless are the very ones who are giving them the best heroin at bottom dollar prices.”

“Declan, this isn’t funny.” I pulled my hand away from his.

He stared down at his empty hands and closed them into fists before he looked up at me. “When we were down in Cancun, the day you went shopping, I killed a man by the name of Emilio Guerra—No, I tortured and killed him for stealing cocaine from us, and selling it to a gang called the Seven Bloods of Southbend. Otis is part of that gang. I met you in the hospital that day because I went there to get information from him.”

My heart was beating so quickly, as the blood rushed to my head, and everything started to spin. I slid out of the booth slowly. Knocking my umbrella against the ground, I stumbled forward.

He grabbed on to me. “Coraline—”

“Don’t touch me!” I pushed him away as hard as I could. I hadn’t realized that I was crying until I tried to look at him and he was just a blur. “How could you do this?”

“Coraline—”

“No! You don’t come in, sweep a girl off her feet and then, when she’s falling for you, tell her that you’re not only part of the mafia but that you’re also a fucking murderer!” I screamed at him, still unable to believe any of it.

But it made sense.

The money.

The guards he had in Cancun.

The way everyone looked at us when we were at church. I’d thought it was me. But it was him. It all made sense.

“What happens to me?” I froze as my eyes widened. “You just told me the biggest secret in your family closet, so what happens to me?”

“I would never hurt you, Cora,” he said as he took another step towards me. I stepped back.

“But you’re not in charge.” My hand went to head as I tried to stop the world from spinning. “When we were in Cancun, you said you needed to do an errand for your uncle…your uncle who you went into the bathroom with you yesterday, and you came back with a cut on your lip. You said you’d broken up a fight between your cousins. That was a lie, wasn’t it?”

He nodded.

“He hit you because of me. He’s the one who’s in charge.”

Again he nodded.

“What did he say? What happens to me?”

He didn’t speak.

“Declan!”

“He told me that you would walk away, and that when that happens he can never trust you.”

I laughed just to stop myself from crying. My hand covered my mouth as I backed away from him.

“Coraline, I’d kill myself before I ever hurt you.”

“And that would stop him? He’s the head of the mafia; if you don’t kill me ,I’m sure he’ll find someone else. So my options are to be with you or die?”

He closed his eyes and nodded as though it pained him.

“You know, when I met you. I thought I was that I was the luckiest girl in the world. I thought that there was no way a guy like you could be interested in me. Oh my God…I must have looked so dumb.” I walked to the door. “I don’t know what will happen to me tomorrow, I just know that I can’t look at you today.” I ran out of the diner and into the rain. I didn’t care that my clothes were almost instantly drenched, I just needed to get away from him.

“Coraline, please!” he yelled as he chased after me, but I got into my car as quickly as I could. My hands were shaking as I tried to put the key into the ignition.

“Coraline! Coraline, don’t run. Please don’t run away from me again.” He banged on my window and I made sure all my doors were locked.

“Coraline, I love you!” he yelled and I paused as I looked back up at him

He was completely soaked in the rain that was now coming down even harder.
Like a hail of bullets
my mind mocked.

He kept looking at me….begging me to open the door.

“I know you’re scared, I would be too. But you know me, the real me. For a second remember…just remember how amazing it felt to hold on to each other. To make love to each other. Remember that and trust me enough to come back. Give me a chance,
please
. I will never hurt you.”

The tears in my eyes burned as I shook my head, even though my hand reached for the door handle.

I didn’t know him.

He was a liar.

“Please stay away from me,” I replied as I drove away from him and allowed myself to cry.

DECLAN

I sat in the diner for three hours hoping she would come back.

She didn’t.

So I drove to the bar where Liam was waiting. The place was empty when I got there, with the exception of Liam who sat at the bar with an unopened bottle of brandy in front of him.

“You’re going to need your own,” I told him as I reached for the bottle and grabbed a glass from behind the counter.

“Someone’s going to have to drive your sorry ass home,” he whispered drinking water instead.

“I thought brothers never let brothers drink alone.” I poured a shot and knocked it back, savoring the way it burned before I poured myself another.

“I make exceptions for the heartbroken.”

I tried to smile. “I’m not heartbroken. She meant nothing. I mean how could she? We didn’t even know each other for that long.”

He glanced around the bar, then at me. “Who are you trying to feed that bullshit to? I don’t buy that and neither do you.”

“I want to believe it though.” Then it wouldn’t hurt like this. “Why am I like this?”

“Mom always said when Callahan men fall for a woman, we fall hard and with no reservations.”

“She’s right again.” I smiled as I drank.

“She’s always right. It’s annoying, isn’t it?” He shook his head.

I stared into my glass and took a deep breath. “You remember when you said to stay away from good girls?”

“Don’t start listening to me now.”

I snorted. “But you were wrong. They don’t break us. We break us. By hurting them, we break us.”

“Declan—”

“He’s going to kill her isn’t he? Even if I don’t do it he will make sure she dies. He will never trust an outsider enough to let them know our secret.”

“Then don’t give up on her.”

I shook my head. He hadn’t seen the way she looked at me. Like I was monster…and I was.

“This is too much. She’s scared and I don’t want to be selfish any more than I already have been.”

Liam patted my shoulder and grinned. “Always be selfish, that’s my motto.”

ELEVEN

“Loving you never was an option – it was necessity.”

―Unknown

CORALINE

DAY 1

It had been twenty-four hours since it felt like my world had imploded. I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed. I couldn’t go to work knowing what I knew. Rolling over, I reached for my laptop. Lifting the screen, my email popped up, and the very first thing I saw was a message from him in my inbox.

Slamming the damn thing shut, I turned back around. I lay there for a few minutes, but I felt like it was calling out to me like the One Ring had called to Frodo.

I need to work. I should just delete it.

Sitting up, I grabbed my laptop once more and opened it. I tried to delete it as fast as I could, but my eyes were able to read it faster.

No moment with you was lie.

But I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth. I didn’t want to let go of you.

Declan A. Callahan.

PS
—
I love you

It was simple, short, and sweet.

Sweet? He wasn’t sweet. He was a murderer.
What the hell is wrong with you, Coraline?

DAY 2

Would you have hated me if I had waited longer? If I would’ve waited until you felt the same way about me as I do about you, before I told you the truth? I woke up today wondering that. I hope you are alright.

Declan Callahan

PS
—
I love you.

I paused and stared at the screen of my desktop computer in the office.

Swallowing slowly, I rubbed the top of my chest. I wished he would stop. No. What I really wished for was for him to be someone different; to be the man I thought he was.

DAY 3

“Ms. Wilson?” Constanza came into my office as I stared out at the Chicago landscape. I hated how bright and sunny it was outside today. I felt like it needed to be dark, gloomy, and raining.

The sun should know when to hide.

“Ms. Wilson?”

Turning around to her, I watched as she took off her glasses and held them up to the light. Satisfied, she placed it back on her face and looked at me.

“No offense, ma’am, but you don’t look well.”

I didn’t feel well.

“I’m alright, Constanza. What is it?”

“Mr. Stevens wanted to set up a dinner meeting with a client on Friday and wants to know if you’re free.”

“That’s fine, thank you,” I muttered as I turned back around and resumed staring out the window. However, before I could allow myself to be lost in my thoughts, my phone buzzed, and once again there was another email from him.

I took a deep breath knowing full well that I shouldn’t read it, but I couldn’t help myself.

I’m not poet. I’m not really good at words. The last book I read was a computer programming manual. I have so much I want to say to you. I want to go back to that week. I want to hear you laugh. I want to see you. Hold you. Love you. But most of all, I want you to want the same things. I’ve never missed anyone as much as I’ve missed you.