Destiny's Embrace (14 page)

Mariah realized that being kissed again hadn’t rendered her immune; if anything she’d fallen deeper into the mire. Her breasts were practically singing and the orgasm continued to resonate inside. Her ability to remain unmoved was being undermined by a body that seemed to be in cahoots with him because it wanted more. Her traitorous body notwithstanding, what she really wanted she doubted he’d be willing to give. “Are you pursuing me simply because you no longer have a mistress? I’m not a girl in a gin house, Logan.”

“I’m pursuing you because I seem to have no choice.”

“Meaning?”

“I’ve never dreamt about a woman before.”

“You dreamt of me?”

“I did. First night you were here. I was making love to you on the seat of the wagon under the moonlight. It was so vivid, I can still taste you.”

The fire in his eyes singed her so fiercely, she had to look away, but he gently turned her back and said, “And since then, every time I see you, it’s all I’ve been able to think about.”

The wonder in his voice was pleasing, but not enough to keep her from asking what she needed to know. “And when you tire of me? Then what? You move on to someone else?”

This time, he looked away and it gave her pause. Was he uncertain about his answer or simply avoiding one? Either way, she’d made up her mind. “We can’t do this again, Logan. I’m thirty years of age. In society’s eyes, I’m far past the age of marrying, but I want to be a wife and mother. Dallying with you may jeopardize that, so thank you for the kisses and all the rest, but you’ll have to take your kisses elsewhere, because I’m looking for a man who will commit to me and be faithful. It would be unfair to have such expectations of you, knowing who you are.”

“And who am I?”

“Someone who prefers a mistress to a wife.”

The way the lines of his face hardened made her wonder if she were the first woman to ever refuse his advances. “Please don’t take it personally, but I have expectations, and now, because of you I’ll go to the marriage bed more aware.”

The way his eyes narrowed at her made her suppress her smile. “Have you never been turned down before?”

“Not to my recollection.”

“Then I’m honored to be the first.” He didn’t appear to be pleased by her jest so she tried to cushion the blow and confessed, “I adore your kisses, but you should save them for someone more worldly, or at least someone who won’t mind being another notch on your bedpost.”

Logan was so outdone he wasn’t sure if he should laugh or be outraged. She was actually telling him to take his kisses elsewhere. No, he had no plans to offer marriage. He liked his life the way it was and finding a woman who agreed with those boundaries had never been a problem, but now? The golden-eyed temptress on his lap was refusing to play along, and because he’d never encountered such a situation before, he had no idea how to proceed. Glowering inwardly, he reminded himself that expectations were the main reason he avoided innocents. This was not working out the way he’d planned.

“So, can we go back to the house now?” Maria asked. “I really want to finish those chores.”

“Certainly. Let’s not allow my desire for you keep you from doing your duty.”

“Don’t be angry. At least you know where I stand.”

When his features didn’t soften, she leaned in and kissed him softly on his cheek. “You’ll find another mistress, don’t worry.” And with that, she left his lap and made her way back to the wagon.

She felt good.

Logan didn’t.

Chapter 14

W
hen Logan joined Mariah on the wagon seat, his still-tight features made her view him with silent amusement. She never would’ve expected a man of his size and sweep to pout like a little boy denied his favorite sweet, but that was the impression he gave. In a way it was endearing, but not enough to make her alter her stance. Yes, his kisses did things to her she never could have imagined; even now her body smoldered with scandalous remembrances. However, she refused to play mistress when there might be a man somewhere who’d like her to be his wife. She wanted to be valued and loved, two things sorely missing from her life, and she didn’t think it ludicrous or wrong for a woman her age to have such dreams.

As the slow, bumpy ride across the open grassland began, she took a few quick peeks over his way, which were so pointedly ignored, she chuckled softly.

“Something funny?” he asked upon finally meeting her eyes.

“Just you. I’ve never witnessed a full-grown man pout before.”

He glared, but she wasn’t intimidated. Instead she turned her head and pretended interest in a patch of wildflowers to mask her smile.

He didn’t utter another word for the duration of the journey and upon their arrival at the house, she saw Alanza step down from the porch and approach the wagon. “Ah, there you are. Mariah, I’ve a telegram for you.”

Her ensemble today was a divided black leather skirt that ended mid-calf over tall black boots. Her short jacket, made of embroidered black felt, was worn over a frilly long-sleeved white blouse. Covering her hair was another stylish Spanish hat that tied below her chin.

Mariah’s silent driver halted the team and came around to help her down. Face set gravely, he swung her down slowly, his eyes holding hers the entire time, then set her on her feet. “Thank you,” she said.

His dark gaze held her captive for a few heartbeats longer before he turned away and climbed back up to his seat. “I’ll be repairing fences if anyone needs me.” And he drove off.

Softly chuckling, Mariah took the telegram from Alanza’s hand.

“What’s wrong with him?”

But Mariah was reading:
Glad you have arrived. Crates and sewing machine en route. Bernice terribly angry. You have my love. Aunt Libby.

Mariah was pleased to hear from her aunt, and to know that her belongings were on the way. Reading about her mother, however, brought on a sigh of frustration and sadness.

“Everything all right?” Alanza inquired gently.

Mariah looked into her kind eyes and wondered if it would be right to talk with her about the life she’d left behind. “Just my mother.”

“Is she ill?”

“No. She’s angry at me.”

“May I ask why?”

Mariah wondered how to explain her mother Bernice. “I’ll simply say, nothing about me pleases her.”

“If you need someone to talk to—”

Mariah cut her off gently, “Thank you, but you’re my employer. I would never be so presumptuous.”

Alanza waved her off. “We are all family here and sometimes it helps to share a burden.”

Mariah noted how closely the words mimicked Logan’s, which made her wonder if he’d learned them from her.

“When I was growing up, the old Spanish families always took care of one another. They opened their homes to travelers whether they were friends or strangers. If someone visiting needed financial assistance, they were given what was called guest silver.”

Seeing Mariah’s confusion she explained that a pile of silver covered by a cloth was left in the bedroom of the traveler with the understanding that the boon was not to be counted until after the traveler left.

Mariah had never heard of such a thing.

“My parents once told me the story of an American named Deen who needed money for a business venture. He’d married into the famous Ortega family and decided to go to Los Angeles to see if he could borrow the funds. When the family’s priest heard of his plight, he sent Mr. Deen a caro filled with silver.”

“What’s a caro?”

“A basket that resembles a tube. It holds about four gallons.”

“He gave him four gallons of silver.”

“Yes, along with a reminder to always come to the priest if he needed help. The families and the church were very wealthy in those days.”

“Do people still give guest silver?”

She shook her head. “The Americans were so abusive of the tradition it passed away. I tell you this to let you know that being of help is who I was raised to be. It’s in my blood, so to speak, so come to me if you need to.”

“I will.” And Mariah meant it.

“Now, tell me what’s wrong with my son. You two fighting again?”

Another sigh. “When are we not?”

“Is it a serious matter?”

“He apparently thinks it is. You have to promise me you won’t tell him we spoke.”

“I promise.”

“He’s pouting because I told him to take his kisses elsewhere, if I may be so bold.”

A stunned Alanza began laughing and took Mariah’s hands in hers. “You, my dear, are a woman after my heart. I would love to call you friend.”

That took her by surprise. “You can’t be friends with a housekeeper.”

“As if your station matters, and this is my ranch after all. I already told you I’ve been waiting for someone who matched me in spirit. I would’ve loved to have been a fly on the wall to witness his reaction. Take his kisses elsewhere.” She laughed again. “I’m sure he’s never had a woman tell him that. Good for you!”

It was an unexpected reaction, to say the least.

Alanza seemed to read her mind. “Did you expect me to chastise you for telling him what he’s been needing to hear? Women raise their skirts for him far too easily. Andrew Antonio is the same way.”

The bold description made Mariah blink with surprise, but Alanza didn’t seem to notice and steamrolled on. “Arrogant stallions, the both of them. I love all my sons with each beat of my heart, but prayed they’d find a woman who’d put them through their paces, and you are the answer to at least one of those prayers.”

Mariah didn’t know what to say.

Alanza placed her hands on Mariah’s cheeks and gave her a big kiss on her brow. “That is for you,
amiga.
I wish I’d hired you to be a companion to me instead of his housekeeper. We’d do well together, you and I.”

Alanza’s tone turned serious. “I’ve spent my entire life on this rancho, and for the last twenty years, I’ve been the only woman. The girls I grew up with have married and moved away. All my aunts and female cousins are in Mexico. Bonnie and Lupe help fill the void, but they have husbands and families. Having sons and land are things to be thankful for, but I miss having another woman to talk with.”

Mariah thought about Kaye and the void in her own heart. “I left a very good friend behind in Philadelphia and I miss her dearly.”

“So you understand?”

“I do.” It never occurred to her that she would be offered friendship by a woman society would call her better, but it felt right, and Mariah looked forward to having someone to turn to who cared.

“I’d be honored to be considered a friend.” She wondered if now might be the time to tell her the truth about her so called widowhood. Logan promised to keep her secret, but she wanted Alanza to know as well so that there would be no lies between them. “I’ve a confession to make.”

“And that is?”

“I’d lied about being a widow so that I’d be considered for the position.”

“Does Logan know?”

“Yes. He’s promised not to tell anyone.”

“Then you can place his promise next to mine. I’m glad you lied. Had you not, you wouldn’t be here.”

Mariah was so thankful for this unconventional woman.

“And now that that’s settled, you are to take your suppers with me and Bonnie until Logan gets a stove.”

“You’ve very kind. Hopefully I won’t have to impose for long.” She then told her Logan’s request for clothing for his goddaughter. “My sewing machine should be here soon and once it is, I can take her measurements and start making the patterns.”

“You make your own patterns?”

“Yes.”

“What kinds?”

Mariah told her about her sketches of gowns and nightwear, day dresses and the rest, and how her mother often sold her work to the well-to-do dressmakers in Philadelphia.

“My goodness. I knew you were an excellent needlewoman, but I had no idea you could do so much. Would you sew for me as well?”

“I would love to. One of my dreams is to open my own shop.”

“And your other dreams?”

Mariah hesitated, but then remembered they were embarking on a friendship, so she told her what was in her heart. “To marry. Which is why I won’t allow Logan to dally with me.”

“You’re very wise. I’d like him to marry, too, so I can have the grandchildren I’ve always desired, but he says he’s content with his life the way it is. I applaud you for not giving in to him, especially now that I know you’ve never married.”

Mariah was glad her stance met with her approval. “I know I’m considered too old, but I want children to love in the way my mother never loved me.”

Alanza stilled. “Your mother doesn’t love you?”

“No,” she responded quietly.

Alanza searched her eyes questioningly. The concern made Mariah drop the last few barriers. “Come sit with me on the porch and I’ll tell you why I came to California.”

While Alanza listened, Mariah told her the story about her parents, her mother’s betrayal and the joyless life she had growing up because of her mother’s pain. Once the story was told, Alanza shook her head sadly. “You poor dear. How could a mother be so cruel?”

Mariah had no answers.

“Know this. There will be no cruelty here—only affection and caring. I know I haven’t known you for very long, but from what I do know, had I been blessed with a daughter, I would have wanted her to be like you. You work hard, you’re clever, and you have a strong sense of what you want to do with your life. A mother couldn’t ask for more of a girl child.”

The words made Mariah’s heart swell. Never once had her mother said anything close to Alanza’s assessment.

“I named the rancho Destiny because every episode in my life is tied to this place. Maybe that will be true for you as well.”

Mariah thought about that. Would she find her destiny here?

“So what are your plans for the rest of the afternoon?” Alanza asked.

“I want to finish scrubbing the floors.”

“Then I will leave you to that. Don’t forget about dinner later.”

“I won’t, and thank you for lending an ear.”

“My pleasure.”

“One last question.”

“Sure.”

“What does
querida
mean?”

“Sweetheart.”

Mariah sighed, and a smiling Alanza left for home.

H
ad Logan known Alanza and Mariah were making a friendship pact, he would’ve been scared indeed, but he was too busy taking his bad mood out on the fence he was repairing. He stretched the barbed wire across the hole as if he wanted to strangle something with it. The sound of riders made him turn. Approaching were Eli and Logan’s brother, Drew. Between the two of them he was sure his day would only get worse, so he went back to his task.

“Look who I found at the train station,” Eli called as they approached.

“Can he be returned?”

Drew dismounted with the ease of a vaquero. “Did you get your tail caught beneath a rocker, surly brother of mine?”

“He’s sweet on a woman who kicked him in the knee and pelted him in the forehead with a rock.”

Logan glared at Eli, while Drew laughingly asked, “What? I take it this isn’t Val.”

“New housekeeper,” Eli replied.

“Would you two go the hell away so I can get this done?”

Drew cracked, “Glad to see you, too, brother. I thought I’d come in early for Mama’s birthday celebration. Maybe stay a week or two after.”

Logan ignored him.

“But I might spend the rest of the summer here after hearing this.”

Logan paused what he was doing. “If you’re going to harass me, at least have the decency to help.”

Eli dismounted and dug two pairs of gloves out of his saddlebag. He tossed Drew a pair and the three went to work.

Once they were done, they sat and passed around Logan’s canteen of water.

“So,” Drew said taking the canteen. “Tell me about this rock-throwing woman.”

“Nothing to tell.”

The always helpful Eli related, “He’s taking her to church on Sunday.”

Drew choked on the water in his throat, to which Eli responded, “Funny, I had the same reaction.”

“Church?” Drew asked in a strangled voice.

Logan pounded him on the back much harder than necessary, but didn’t offer a verbal reply.

Drew shot him a hard look on the heels of the too-hard pounding. “Does the reverend know you’re coming?”

Logan remained silent. The last thing he needed was more ribbing.

“You never go to church. I, at least, go on Easter Sunday.”

Eli added, “Reverend Dennis offered to escort her, but Logan said he’d take her instead.”

Logan turned to his partner and best friend. “So are you the town crier now?”

“Just giving Drew the lay of the land.”

“Well, stop it.”

Drew asked Eli, “How long has she been here?”

“Three, four days.”

Drew stood and started walking back to his mount.

“Where are you going?” Logan yelled, getting to his feet.

“Any woman who has you turned inside out in less than a week is one I want to meet. And I’m betting she won’t throw rocks at me!” He swung up into the saddle and galloped away.

“Dammit!” Logan slammed his hat to the ground. Shooting an evil eye at the smiling Eli, he snatched up the Stetson and rode out after his brother. He had no idea what Drew intended, but he’d seen his brother dazzle more than a few women with his courtly Spanish manners and distinguished law degree. Mariah hadn’t been moved by his own legendary charms and he doubted she’d be by Drew’s either, but he’d be damned if she’d pick his brother over him.

W
ith her mare reined to a walk, Alanza started toward home. Mariah’s story was still on her mind. She found the mother’s treatment unconscionable and could only imagine how heartbreaking it must have been growing up unloved and not understanding why. Alanza had grown up adored by her parents, especially her mother. Not until her willful ways broke their hearts had she ever been punished. Yet Mariah had been browbeaten and switched over circumstances she’d had no hand in. No wonder she’d fled. And to move all the way to California to start a new life in a place she’d never seen amongst total strangers spoke to her determination and her dreams. In spite of her age, Alanza found nothing wrong with her wanting to be a wife and a mother, and no doubt any child she bore would be loved immeasurably. In Alanza’s perfect world, Logan would eschew his unmarried ways and choose Mariah as his bride. And if not, she’d find her new
amiga
someone worthy and be content with that.