Dirty (17 page)

Chapter Eighteen

“Do you want anything else to eat? There’s plenty more?” Noelle joined Simone at the kitchen table.

“Maybe half a blueberry muffin with a side of cream and another cup of tea.”

Noelle smiled indulgently. “You got it. I’ll be back.”

Simone popped another piece of bacon into her mouth. She couldn’t remember the last time she had a proper breakfast like this. Normally, her breakfast consisted of a yogurt, a piece of fruit and some coffee because she was constantly on the go. Noelle had whipped her up some Belgian waffles, bacon, scrambled eggs and fresh muffins with cream. When her cousin had put the plate in front of her, she didn’t think she’d be able to eat beyond a few nibbles of waffle but the minute the food hit her tongue, her hunger was awakened.

Noelle returned shortly with the entire basket of muffins and a bowl of cream.

“I only wanted half a muffin,” Simone said in between bites from the remainder of her bacon.

“Well considering you claimed not to be hungry before, I brought these on the off chance that you changed your mind.”

“Aren’t you going to eat anymore?” Simone eyed Noelle’s smaller plate with fruit and an English muffin.

“This is about the only thing I can keep down. I don’t know why I’m starting to experience morning sickness all of a sudden. I thought once I made it to my second trimester I wouldn’t experience it at all. I asked the doctor about it and she said, all pregnancies are different. Some woman don’t ever have it while some get it throughout the entire pregnancy. I just hope it’s over soon, but it makes getting through the work day a little difficult.

“I feel bad that you’re missing so much work on my account.”

“I know but remember all the times you looked out for me? Now, it’s my turn to do the same for you. Besides, I have competent employees to take care of everything. And I do have a business partner.”

“I appreciate it, cuz.” Noelle had been her rock these past couple weeks, when all she did for the first few days was lay in bed and cry, sleep, wake up and cry and sleep some more. Noelle had to force her to eat and most days, she couldn’t stomach more than a piece of toast or some broth. On the fourth day, Noelle forced Simone out of bed and made her shower.

In the shower, she had another break down. Noelle had found her sitting under the spray with her knees pulled against her chest. It was after she was dried off and back in bed did the words come spilling forward. Noelle sat by her side, holding Simone’s hand as she told her everything, not sparing a single detail. Simone even told her about what had happened between her and Paul.

Finally confessing to someone was like a huge weight off her shoulders. Afterwards, Simone slept, really slept without nightmares. When she woke up, she’d felt refreshed. Noelle would go to the bakery early in the morning but would be home by noon to keep Simone company. They played board games and watched old movies and it felt like they were kids again. Even James would sit with her from time to time and regale her with stories from his travels. Simone didn’t think about anything of importance. Tanisha called to check in every now and then so she knew the boutique was in good hands.

Today was the first day she’d had a real appetite and it felt great to stuff her face. Simone grabbed a muffin and cut it in half before generously spreading the fresh whipped cream on top. She took a bite and sighed in delight. “Mmm. These are so good. It’s a wonder that James isn’t three hundred pounds by now.”

Noelle giggled. “He hits the gym extra hard after he’s eaten too many sweets which is often considering I use him as my taste tester.”

She finished the rest of her muffin in silence while Noelle drank her tea. It was time to discuss the topic she’d been avoiding for the last couple days. “So, I think it’s time for me to go back to my house and the boutique. I need to get back to my old life before I become too complacent, because believe me, I could definitely get used to living here and getting waited on hand and foot, but I’m going to have to learn how to deal with my issues in a healthy way.”

“As far as I’m concerned, my home is your home and you can stay here as long as you like, but I understand. I’ll miss having you around.”

“All I did was mope around the house.”

“You’ve been running yourself ragged for the past couple years. You deserve to have some rest. Simone, I mentioned this earlier, but I really think you need to talk to someone, like a professional. I can recommend the one I used to go through. She’s excellent and she also specializes in childhood trauma and sex therapy.”

Simone snorted. “The last thing I need is a sex therapist. In fact, I think I’m done with it.”

“Sex therapy is not just for people who are looking to bring back the spice in their lives. A sex therapist can also teach you
how
to look at it in a more healthy and positive manner. And I’m sure we’re both in agreement that what you’ve been doing is far from healthy. You’re lucky one of those guys didn’t slit your throat and leave you for dead. Speaking of which, James put in a complaint to the police chief about that bastard Burke. I can’t believe that jerk did that to you.”

Simone shuddered. She didn’t want to think about him. She just hoped
s
he’d never hear from him again. “I’d rather not talk about him. As for the therapy, I think it may be just what I need but I have to deal with a few other things first.”

“Does one of those things involve Paul?”

Simone nodded. Paul wasn’t far from her thoughts, especially within the last several days. She knew he’d come to visit her a couple times, but she wasn’t ready to see him, not in the state
s
he was in. She’d needed some time to get her head together. He deserved to know the truth and why
they
could never be together
.

<><><>

Paul looked at the address for the second time to make sure he was in the right place. He wasn’t expecting to see anything quite this nice. The house
was a
large
,
yellow
structure
with a southern style porch with two a two-seat porch
swing that
looked like something out of a home and garden magazine. The wrought iron fence around the perimeter of its manicured lawn showed that the owner cared about their property.

Squaring his shoulders, he walked to the door and rang the doorbell. A woman who looked to me in her mid to late fifties answered the door. Though she was casually dressed, she was well put together with silver gray hair that was obviously done by and expensive hair stylist. Her make up expertly done as well. She could seemed like she spent a lot of time outside, judging from her healthy tan.

“Yes? Can I help you?”

“Are you Doreen Scott?”

“Winters actually, but yes, I am,
”
she
said
.
“
You
,
however
,
have wasted your time, because there’s a no solicitation sign on my lawn so I’ll have to ask you to leave before I contact the police.”

“I’m not selling anything. Actually, my name is Paul Winters. I’d like to know to where I can find your husband.”

She stepped closer and squinted. “You’re Stanley’s son?” Doreen gripped his face without warning and gave him a thorough exam. “Yes, I see it now.” She release him and smiled, showing off perfectly capped white teeth. “You look just like him. Come in, Stanley would love to see you.”

When Paul thought of women who became pen pals with and later married inmates, he thought of lonely ladies who lived in a cramped little homes that smelled like cat piss. Doreen on the other hand was an attractive woman who seemed to be doing quite well for herself. He wondered what it was that she could have possibly seen in his father.

She led him into the living room and gestured to the sofa. “Please have a seat. I’ll let him know you’re here. How did you find us by the way?”

“Uh, I hired a detective. When he contacted my sister
,
I was curious to find his location.”

“Oh, well, Stanley wanted to see his daughter, the both of you actually
,
but he didn’t think you would want to see him. He’ll be so thrilled to know you’ve come.”

Even though this woman looked perfectly sane, she couldn’t possibly be if she thought this would be some happy family reunion. He looked around the house and looked at all the pictures on the wall. Most of them were of three red head
ed
children who resembled Doreen. Paul could only assume they were her children. The photos showed them in varying ages.

Paul then noticed a picture that caught him by surprise. He rose to his feet and walked over to it. It was him and Alyssa. He remembered taking that picture. Alyssa was still a baby. His mother had wanted to get a picture of her children and had taken them to the mall department store. Paul could remember that day well, because they’d been at the portrait center for so long that their mother had been in a panic as she drove home. He could remember her tearing up and didn’t understand why until they got home.

His father had made it home before them and he was pissed that his dinner wasn’t on the table. Before she could explain where they’d been, he backhanded her while she held Alyssa. Paul had grabbed his sister and raced upstairs to keep the baby out of harm’s way. He then raced back to his mother and threw himself in between his parents.

That was day he was on the receiving end of
one of
the worst beatings of his life. He’d lost his spleen that day. Every time he saw that picture
,
it was a reminder
of
that day and how he’d nearly died. Behind the eyes of that little boy in the picture
were
fear and despair. He hated that fucking picture.

“Oh, I see you’ve noticed that. I just love that picture of you and your sister. Will she by any chance be coming by?” Paul had been so deep in thought he didn’t hear Doreen approach.

“No.” He turned to face her giving no further explanation.

“Oh. Well, Stanley adores that picture. He kept it in his cell and looked at it every day. It was the one thing that kept him going.”

The way Doreen was going on, one would think she believed his father had been locked up under false pretenses. Did he lie to her about the crime he committed or was she simply delusional? “I have a question for you, Doreen. How exactly did you get involved with my father?”

“Oh, well I’ve always been a bit of an advocate of prisoner’s rights. I mean just because they’re locked
up
doesn’t mean they should be stripped of their humanity. You should see some of these prisons. These men and women live in deplorable conditions. People wouldn’t allow their dogs to live in those hell holes so why do we do this to people? Anyway, I met your father on one of my visits. I have an outreach program where I teach the inmates works of Shakespeare. Many of them discover his work for the first time. We put on plays and write poems. It’s great. Anyway, your father always attended and he was always so charming. We became pen pals.” She blushed. “I guess we
fell
in love through our letters. I haven’t met a man who made me as happy since my Henry passed away. Unfortunately my children no longer talk to me, but you only live once and I grabbed on to my happiness with both hands.”

All Paul felt was mild disgust. She sounded as if she was describing some cheesy Romantic Comedy with herself as the heroine. His father was a master manipulator and probably told this woman everything she wanted to hear. “I see. Well, will he be out shortly?”

“Oh no. You’ll need to go to him. He’s waiting to see you.”

Paul frowned. Was this another one of his father’s control tactics? As he followed Doreen down the a long hallway, he thought of all the things he wanted to say to his father, explain to him all the pain he’d cause
d
and to let him know that he’d never hurt Paul or Alyssa again.

Doreen stopped in front of the last door on the right and opened the door. “You can go ahead inside. I’ll give the two of you your privacy but give me a shout if you need anything. Oh where are my manner
s
? Can I offer you something to drink? Something to eat?”

“No
,
thank you.”

Doreen smile and patted him on the shoulder
before
sauntering off. The lady was definitely certifiable. Paul hesitated before going into the room, but as soon as he did, he froze at the sight that greeted him. Instead of the big barrel-chested bully he remembered terrorizing his family,
there
was a frail, withered old man in a hospital bed. This couldn’t be his father.

Sickness seemed to permeate every pore in the room.

“Paul is that you?” The voice was barely a hoarse whisper.

“Yes.”

“Come a little closer please. I can’t see too well anymore. Had a lot of nerve damage.” He cackled at that last part as if he’d told a funny joke.

Paul stepped closer. It was strange seeing Stanley Winters so weak. He was hooked up to several machines. One of them was oxygen. Despite his obvious state, it was hard for Paul to muster a shred of sympathy for him. “What’s the matter with you?”
He
asked bluntly.

“Cancer. Liver. At least, that’s what it started out as, but at this point it’s spread all over. Doctors say I have three months left. Six if I’m lucky. I guess all those vodka, straight
s
with no chaser finally caught
up
to the old man.” Again
,
he gave a weak laugh. “That’s how they released me if you’re wondering. They said something about a mercy rule. I spent most of my time in jail wishing for my freedom so I could get a proper beer but now that I am out I can’t have it, can’t have anything that tastes good. I puke everything up. Ain’t that a bitch?”

“You didn’t think I came because I’m interested in hearing about your time in prison. You deserved
every bit
of your sentence and then some and if I had my way, you would have rotted in prison. I just came here to tell you to stop contacting Alyssa. She’s not interested in a reunion with you. “

Stanley remained silent for several moments. “I kinda expected this. I still have a few buddies at the precinct who located the two of you for me. I actually thought Alyssa would be the most receptive to meeting me because she was so young when it happened.”

“Don’t gloss over what you did. You killed my mother. Her name was Catherine Marie Winters and you beat her until her lungs collapsed. You crushed her skull beneath your heel. You beat her so badly, she had to have a closed casket funeral. And what was worse, I wasn’t there to protect her because you had me hauled away for finally being able to kick your ass. You couldn’t stand having another Alpha in the house. I had to attend my own mother’s funeral in handcuffs. You have no idea what that’s like.”

“Alyssa told me how you made her live in constant fear. How you used to watch her shower, and tell her inappropriate things about her body. I should have killed you when I had the chance, but I didn’t because mom begged me not to. She saved your rotten as life and you took hers away. I want you to know something you bastard, you told me I was soft, that I would never amount to anything. You said I was a piece of shit, punk kid. Well guess what, I’ve done quite well for myself. I took care of Alyssa. I put myself through college, earned my masters and now
,
I’m a business owner. You were just a bully with a badge. You used your power to intimidate people. You didn’t deserve to be a police officer. You were a disgrace to the position. So from how I see thing
s
, I became more of a man than you have ever been. As for Alyssa, she’s going to be a mother. And you’ll never see your grandchild because you’ll be six feet under.”

“I’m glad you have cancer and I hope it’s painful. Some people would say I should forgive you because it will help me to heal but fuck that. I don’t forgive you and I never will. When you’re dead, I’m going to celebrate and trust me, I’ll sleep just fine. Don’t even think about contacting either one of us again.”

Paul didn’t bother to wait for the old man to reply before he stormed out of the room. Doreen seemed surprised as he headed out the door. “You’re leaving already?”

“Yes, I’ve said all I’ve needed to say.”

“Oh, but I was hoping you could stay for dinner.”

“No thank you.” He halted in his tracks and turned to face the woman
who was
supposed
to be
his step mother. The more that he thought of the situation, Doreen seemed to be a lonely woman who was probably easily swayed. “Doreen, get in contact with your children and beg their forgiveness because my father is not worth this estrangement from them. It was nice meeting you.”

As
he
drove away
,
Paul
felt at peace with himself for the first time in a very long while.