Dirty Rotten Liar (10 page)

“I've got the business jet lined up for seven a.m. sharp,” Selah said, stepping back into the convo. “And Viceroy is expecting us. He's anxious to see everybody but as you all know, your father has been through a lot. The time he spent in a coma took almost as much out of him as his injuries did, and he's also undergone some pretty invasive therapies to help his brain heal and rejuvenate too. In light of all that, the doctors want us to be extra-careful that we don't upset him and that we keep his stress level to a minimum.”

She took a real deep breath and then she stared dead at me and Dy-Nasty. I was still standing there sniffling snot and holding my imaginary tambourines up in the air, and that weeping-ass snake oil swindler Dy-Nasty had done cried herself outta her chair and was clinging to the table with one hand while she had one knee planted on the floor.

“That means,” Selah continued with a disgusted look in her eyes, “that Mink and Dy-Nasty, you two will have to stay back here at the house tomorrow. I'm sorry, but I just don't think Viceroy is ready to handle all this”—she frowned and waved her hand in the air—“
drama
y'all got going on.”

 

If we thought what Selah had just spit was bad, the shit really hit the fan big-time when she excused herself to take a call from Viceroy's doctors and hurried outta the room.

Barron looked over his shoulder until he was sure his mama was gone, and then he turned around and dropped a shit bomb down on the whole fuckin' table.

“A'ight, now. I hate to be the one to piss in your hair weave,” he said, grinning real hard as he busted Dy-Nasty out, “but now that Pops is awake and back with us, that little bullshit vote the board passed to give all y'all three hundred grand a year is a
wrap
. Sisters and brothers, the door to the trust fund has been officially
closed
, and I'll be filing a motion to have the board's vote annulled the first thing tomorrow morning.”

Pilar sat there grinning like a muthafucka but you woulda thought somebody had melted all the glue outta Dy-Nasty's ratchet-ass horse tail.

“Uh-uh,” she protested, coming up off her knee and climbing back up in her chair. “Wait a minute! Wait a
goddamn
minute! What the hell did you say just now?” she blasted on Barron. “Come again?” Her cat-eyes flashed in her face and she looked ready to jump all over him and take his ass to the mat.

“Whatchu mean the trust fund is a
wrap
?” She wagged her head back and forth. “Naw, naw, naw to da
naw
! That trust fund ain't no wrap,
Bearrun
! Ain't nobody tryna hear that shit! You
owe
me, baby! I worked for minez, remember? I don't care if ya daddy done woke up or not. That first DNA test said
I'm
Sable, and I want everythang all the rest of y'all been getting except I want my dough all lumped up in a big fat ball right
now
!”

“Well the first DNA test said Mink was Sable
too
!” Bunni jumped in from the other side of me. “And Mink took her damn test first! So why should you get to keep the whole three hundred smack-smacks all to yourself?”

“Neither one of y'all is getting
shit
!” Barron hollered. “And if either one of y'all gave a damn about my pops and half a damn about my moms, then both of y'all would get'ta steppin' out the door like you had some goddamn sense!”

Barron looked spitting mad. He was grilling me and Dy-Nasty like he just
wanted
us to run off at the mouth. Like he was just itchin' for one of us to go on a slick lil lip trip.

But I wasn't about to bite at that bait. I just sat there and stared back at his stupid ass and didn't say shit. And really, there was nothing I needed to say any damn way. Because something told me that after hearing what she had just heard, money-grubbin' Dy-Nasty was about to do enough screaming, biting, and backstabbing for the both of us!

A
fter dinner me and Bunni went upstairs so we could get our heads right with dick-slangin' Dane up in his private little fuck-palace over the Dominion's eight-car garage. A hot Reem Raw track was flowing from his deluxe speaker system and glowing sticks of incense were burning in about five ashtrays.

Dane was one of them real tasty-lookin' niggas. Pure-dee eye candy. He rocked some real tight twisties in his thick, curly hair, and his chocolate skin looked so damn smooth and sweet it shoulda had a golden candy wrapper around it.

We were walking into his loft when Bunni tried to pinch me as she licked her lips and checked out his package. I was still hyped over all the shit we had heard at dinner so I elbowed her and rolled my eyes, but I could feel where she was coming from 'cause Dane was holdin'. His chest and shoulder muscles was all over the damn place, and his tight stomach had at least ten cans on it. He had on a baggy pair of white basketball shorts, and two phat diamond earrings glinted from his lobes.

He fired up some sticky green and him and Bunni got down on a little bit of hash. Both of them were tossing back double shots of yakkety-yak, but my stomach wasn't in the mood for no more firewater so I just got lifted on a whole bunch of weed and sipped on a Corona instead.

I could tell Dane was feeling real up now that me and Bunni had come back to Texas. The three of us stretched out on some big fluffy pillows on the floor in his loft and proceeded to get straight tipsy.

“A'ight now.” Bunni puffed her weed and got right down to bizz. “I heard all that bullshit Barron was talkin', but what's the real dealio with our duckets now that Pappa-Doo done woke up?”

Dane shook his head and pulled real hard on his spliff.

“Bump told it right. Pops is up. Talking and everything.” He gave a short laugh. “Talking
shit,
I should say. It's crazy. That cat is the biggest workaholic control freak I ever seen in my life. The minute those doctors let him outta there he's gonna head over to Dominion Oil and get back in the driver's seat and put the pedal to the metal. And once that shit happens all of our asses can kiss that three-hundred-grand payday good-bye for good.”

“And why is that?”

“Because the fund can only be activated if Pops dies or gets declared incapacitated to serve in his position at Dominion Oil, remember? That's why it's so fucked up that the board's vote didn't go through. Bump said he got the call just when he was about to get that shit signed and notarized. Pops already said that once he gets back to work he's gonna kill that money provision and kill it quick.”

“Damn!” Bunni got all hyped. “Daddy-Deep-Pockets shoulda stayed his ass asleep for a lil while longer! He's fuckin' up some major plans around here!”

“You got that right,” I said, and elbowed Bunni. “ 'Cause without that trust fund dough, me and you is ass-out with no place else to go. Especially once them DNA results come back.” I frowned at Dane. “While you bullshittin', we
all
about to be ass-out.”

Dane nodded and took a deep drag off the blunt. “You ain't lying. I was counting on that cash too. Them fools up at my school is still trippin', man.”

“Why?” Bunni gave him the stank look. “You still tryna get up in them dorm rooms with all them freak-a-deek college bitches?”

“Nah.” He shook his head. “I ain't even thinking about them chicks. It's that disciplinary board I'm worrying about. I gotta shake those sexual assault charges before they'll let me back in school, man.”

He took another toke. “But this chick I know in the admin office put a bug in my ear. She said the deans are about to send my shit up to the prosecutor's office so they can hit me with a charge. And if that happens, then I might as well just bend over and kiss my balls good-bye 'cause my ass is gonna be out the door.”

“But I thought you was tryna get a lawyer?” I asked, and then filled my mouth up with a gulp of ice-cold Corona. I knew Dane had been up in them dorms splashing around in college coochie on the regular, but he was the exact type of dude that chicks loved to throw pussy at. He wasn't no damn predator!

“Them lawyer niggas don't work for free, yo.”

I swallowed and belched and shook my head as my throat burned from the cold acid. “But you ain't even push up on nobody! You gotta fight that shit, son!”

“I was
planning
on fighting it—when I got my hands on that three hundred large, remember?”

Dane took one more pull off his tree and then tapped the roach out in the ashtray. “Now that Pops is back in action there ain't no way I'm gonna get next to that kinda money without somebody finding out.”

I nodded. Dane's ass had been sweatin' that trust fund cheese damn near harder than me. And then I got a bright idea.

“Yo, your brother's a damn lawyer, ain't he?” I giggled. “Hire his crooked ass to go to bat for you.”

Dane looked at me like I had a big hairy nut sack dangling from my chin.

“I already told you, girl. B is my boy, but something ain't right with that dude, yo. And that's word. Ain't no way in hell I'ma put my dick up on the chopping block if Bump is walking around with a butcher knife in his hands. Besides, he would never get his hands dirty with this type of nasty shit. I know my brother. He wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole.”

“That's because he's a fuckin' hater,” I muttered, sipping my beer as I thought about how Barron had been dissin' me from my very first day at the mansion. “And I wouldn't trust his ass neither if I was you. He didn't know shit about me when I got here. He didn't hafta go at my throat like that and try to turn everybody in the whole damn family against me.”

For some reason Dane thought that mess was real damn funny.

“Oh hell yeah he did, Mink!” He bust out laughing. “Bump did exactly what the fuck he was supposed to do when you showed up, baby! He went at your throat because you went after the
family jewels
! Pops left Barron standing guard in front of the vault! What the hell did you think he was gonna do when you showed up telling everybody you was Sable? Open up the safe and dish you off a couple of gold bars?”

Dane laughed again, then reached over and yanked on my big toe. “Rich people don't stay rich by just handing their money over to strangers, Mink. They fight like dogs in the street to keep every dime they've got. That's just the way it goes.”

Dane drained his shot glass, and then he sparked up another fat blunt. He scrunched his face up as the smoke swirled around his eyes. Taking a real deep drag, he sucked on that shit like he had a vacuum cleaner stuck down in his throat, and then he let the smoke out real slow and sighed.

I felt sorry for my play brother. He looked shook in the face, like no matter how much shit he smoked up and drank up he couldn't get high enough to wipe all his problems outta his head.

“Man, y'all,” he said, putting his blunt down and shaking his head, “if them fuckin' deans kick me outta school and Pop finds out about it . . . shit is gonna get real raggedy around here.”

“Hmph,” Bunni said. She had been steady getting lifted while she listened to me and Dane go back and forth at the mouth, and when I glanced over at her I saw something shifty glinting in her beady little eyes.

“See there,” she sneered, “Pappa-Doo done woke up and threw salt in everybody's game! If you ask me, Ol' Mister Oil-Jackin' Dominion might need to lay back down and take his ass another nap!”

T
he next day while Selah took the rest of the family down to Houston to visit Viceroy, Barron drove over to the Ducane manor and got ready to face the music. He had come up with a half-assed plan to cut Pilar off at the knees, but he knew it wasn't gonna be easy because his cousin wasn't the type of gold digger to throw her shovel down without a fight.

Barron knew better than to lay the bad news on her while they were somewhere in public where she could show out, but he didn't want her wilding out and getting stupid on him up in the Dominion mansion where Selah might find out either.

His game plan was to drop the heat bomb on her when they were someplace where she could scream and holler and get as nasty as she wanted to get, and then after she called him a long string of dirty muthafuckas and cursed him out real good, he could dip out and bounce.

So, Barron swung by the Ducane manor the next morning when he was sure his uncle Digger had already left for work. He surprised the hell out of Pilar when he rang the doorbell and stood there waiting with one hand hidden behind his back.

“Barron!” she said, frowning a little bit as she opened the door still wearing her nightgown. Every strand of her hair was wrapped around her head going in the same direction, and she looked even sexier and younger without all her usual makeup.

“Oh my God!” She grinned and tried to hide behind the door. “What are you doing here so early in the morning, baby?” She peeked past him and glanced toward his car parked in the driveway. “Are you by yourself? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Barron said quietly. “Sorry I just dropped by like this, but everything is cool. I just needed to talk to you for a few minutes, that's all.”

Pilar touched her hair and then stepped back to let him in as she looked him up and down with excitement in her eyes. “Well why didn't you call me first? I would've gotten myself together and put on something sexy real quick.”

Barron shrugged with his hand still hidden behind his back. “I was on my way to a meeting,” he lied, “but I wanted to swing by because I've got something to give you.”

Pilar tried to peep around his body to see what he was hiding, and he frowned when she shrieked in pure delight and pranced through the kitchen grinning like crazy.

Barron felt like he had a brick in his gut as he followed her sexy, swaying frame into the stylish living room.

Pilar perched on the edge of a plush sofa and arranged the hem of her short champagne-colored satin gown around her toned thighs. Smoothing her hair nervously, she swung her bare feet around on the sofa and then giggled with excitement as she looked up at him and waited like a kid on Christmas morning.

Barron walked over and stood in front of her. Digging deep for some swag, he pulled himself up firm and tall.

“Oh shit!” Pilar giggled again, hunching her shoulders and grinning just like a little kid. “It's about to happen!” she shrieked. “It's really about to happen!”

Barron coughed and cleared his throat, and Pilar reached out and slapped him on his muscular thigh.

“Boy! You should have called me so I could have put on some clothes first! I can't believe you got me sitting here half-dressed for something like this!” She swallowed hard and locked her eyes on his. “Okay, what do you have for me, B? Huh? What's that you're hiding behind your back?”

“Um, P, you know how much I care about you,” Barron started. He made his voice go real deep as he stared down into her gray eyes. Slowly, he brought his hand from behind his back and held out a small paisley-printed envelope. It contained a copy of the private entrance key she had given him so he could creep in on her whenever he got ready.

“But me and you are gonna have to chill for a minute, Pilar. Daddy's up and he's about to get back on top of things, and I need a little space so I can get my head together.”

“W-w-what?” she said, eyeing the envelope as the smile fell off her pretty face. “What are you talking about, B?” She shook her head. “You're bullshitting, right? This must be a joke. You're bullshitting.”

Barron didn't crack a smile and his gaze remained strong and steady as he slowly shook his head. “Nah. I'm not bullshitting, Pilar. I'm dead serious, baby. But this ain't on you, okay? It's on
me
. There's a lot going on with the family right now, and my pops ain't in no condition to handle the kind of shit we've been doing.”

Pilar frowned. “The kind of shit we've been doing? You mean our
relationship
? Are you talking about me and you being together and having sex?”

Barron nodded.

Pilar leaped to her feet like somebody shot a cannon up her ass. “Well then you better tell your goddamn daddy that me and you been
doing
all the nasty, dirty shit your black ass wanted to do!”

Barron nodded again but he never broke his gaze. He gave her one of them dude looks that said,
This is the part where you're supposed to call me a selfish muthafucka. Go right ahead. I deserve that shit.

“So what?” Pilar got up in his face like she was daring him to confirm his words. “You're tossing me to the trash, is that it? Oh, I get it.” She smirked, looking him up and down like he wasn't about shit. “Your fully grown black ass is scared your
daddy
might find out you been having fun eating my pussy and yank you off his money tit, huh?”

Barron frowned. Just a little.

“I'm not
scared
of nothing, Pilar. I just think we're going in the wrong direction, that's all. C'mon, now. I was in a real bad spot when Pops got hurt and you knew that. And then I went through all that drama with Carla, and then I jumped right into this lil thing with you. I never had a chance,” Barron told her truthfully, “to really think shit through and get my head straight, ya know?”

He sighed and looked down at her with affection in his eyes. “You're a beautiful sistah, Pilar, and I love you.” He let his voice drop low. “But you deserve way more than this, and I just don't think I'm the right man for you.”

Barron couldn't understand all the filthy shit that came flying outta Pilar's mouth because it was a mixture of jumbled-up gutter shrieks and low-down curses, almost like she was speaking in tongues. A couple of phrases came through pretty clear though like,
You bitch-ass pussy, you!
and
You stubby-dicked bastard!
and
You non-fucking weak-ass bitch!

Barron nodded, cool with it. This was the part where he was supposed to say he was sorry and break for the door, and he had just turned away to make his move when Pilar landed on his back. Clinging to him like a pissed off little monkey, she screamed and sank her teeth down deep into the soft part of his neck and took a chunk outta his ass.

“What the fuck?” Barron yelped like a bitch. He whirled around and shook her off, then clutched both hands to his bleeding neck.

Pilar slid off his back and hit the floor hard. She jumped up quick as shit, then she snatched a figurine from the end table and hurled that baby at him like it was a fastball flying across home plate.

“Pilar!” he hollered and ducked as the figurine flew harmlessly over his head. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“No, what the fuck is wrong with
you
!” she screeched. “You trying to
play
some fuckin' body?” She snatched up another figurine and hurled that shit.

Instinct made Barron duck and turn away, but the marble figurine caught him and busted him right upside his head, and a trickle of blood slid down his temple and darkened the collar of his cream-colored Stuart Hughes dress shirt.

“Yeah, you dirty
bastard
!” Pilar twisted up her face and hollered when she saw his blood. She was breathing hard and her plump breasts were jiggling under her gown. “That's what you get,
muthafucka
! You lucky I didn't knock your lying-ass teeth down your fuckin' throat!”

Barron touched two fingers to the side of his face and stared at all the blood on his hands, and then he ducked again as Pilar cursed and let a glass ashtray fly at his head.

“Stop fuckin' trippin'!” he hollered over his shoulder as he ran toward the door. “This shit is over, dammit, so just stop trippin'!”

“Trippin'?” Pilar raged in the doorway with her erect nipples poking through her see-through gown as Barron hauled ass back to his car. “You ain't seen
trippin',
you weak-ass, no balls, son of a
bitch
, you! You fucked over the wrong chick, Barron Dominion! Believe me, muthafucka! You ain't seen
nothing
yet!”